Apologies I missed last week! 😭 But here it is and in a few hours I will be posting the another chapter to make up for it! So here you go enjoy.....☺️
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The hot water hit my skin and the longer I stayed under the less tense my muscles were becoming. I probably stayed in the shower longer than needed but I was exhausted. Thankfully this week went by and Paige was back in school fully refreshed. Since the weekend came back around again she was with Jonathan and I had the house to myself. I was still annoyed with him for when Paige was sick. I tried to understand but with all the lies, every time there's a part of me that wants to believe him. There's another part that wonders if I can trust anything that comes out of his mouth.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my towel snug around my body with my hair dripping down my back. I wiped the mirror with my hand clearing up the fog to see my reflection. There was no makeup, no product in my hair, just me. I wondered if I went out just like this, how beautiful the world would see me then. Every time Lori and I went out I had some type of makeup or accessory on.
So many things were racing through my mind but I knew I had to take everything one step at a time. I huffed out a breath and walked into my bedroom. My phone lit up showing two notifications from Instagram. I clicked on it as I mindlessly made my way down the stairs.
Two pictures popped up; one was a direct message from Lori sending me a picture of her on a date and what restaurant they were at, while the other was of Paige. Jonathan and I agreed to not put up Paige's face so what I saw was taken from above. It was a photo taken earlier in the day, Paige was sitting in Jonathan's living room painting and other arts and crafts. I really appreciated the effort he put in to make her feel at home at his apartment. When I exited the app the time shined: 9pm. I was alone in my house at 9pm on a Friday.
Maybe I am becoming my abuela
I winded up in my kitchen pouring myself a glass of wine.
Oh I needed this
Rolling my neck out, I made my way to the living room, wine in hand. Sitting down I huffed as I put my feet up on the coffee table.
I don't need to go out to enjoy myself
It's something I've told myself countless times whenever I rather stay home than go hang out. Something that would let me know that I wasn't becoming boring at the age of twenty six.
My mind wandered to the toys Lori brought over last week. I hadn't looked at them since, it was too much. Just the thought of laying down on my back, opening my legs and putting my hand down there with a foreign device was daunting. Though I couldn't lie, they definitely intrigued me. I turned my head lazily to the side as my eyes locked on the black duffle under the side table tucked away. You wouldn't even know if was there if you weren't looking for it.
Not taking my eyes off it as I took a gulp of my wine. I placed the glass on the coffee table and grabbed the duffle. Sliding the zipper open I took in what was in front of me.
Am I really going to do this?
I'm not a nun. I have masturbated before. It's just been hard since Jonathan. When I thought about it so many insecurities would fly into my head. Shutting them out I dug my hand in and grabbed the first thing I felt.
It was a small black vibrator. It had a soft top and a metal ring around the base. This was where you screwed off the cap to replace the batteries. I pressed down on the soft top till I heard a click and immediately the sensation was coursing through my hand. It was pretty strong considering how small it was. I laid back on the couch trying to get comfortable, opening my legs and lifting my towel just enough to gain access. I slowly brought the vibrator down and placed it on my lips. I gasped as it made me jump, still trying to get used to the powerful vibrations.
I tried again, this time getting some friction where I didn't realize I had been missing. My breathing became heavier as the intense ache in my core grew. It had been so long, I felt my climax just around the corner. Suddenly, my phone buzzing ripped me from my thoughts letting me know a text message had come through. I was going to ignore it but then the doorbell rang. I groaned in disappointment, "Who the fuck is that?!"
I quickly removed my hand and pressed the button to turn it off. But it didn't turn off, it went to another setting.
Oh Fuck!
The doorbell rang again.
I pressed again and a new setting happened. How many different settings does this bitch have?!
To answer that question 7, it took 7 clicks before it finally turned off and I threw my new found toy back into the bag and in a safe hiding spot.
My phone buzzed again, part of me thought it was Jonathan but it wasn't.
Ryan- Hey, open the door.
I scrunched up my nose confused until I heard a light knock on the front door. Standing up, I made my way over to the door and opened it slightly, sure enough there was Ryan with a bashful smile. I hadn't seen him since that night at the club. No matter how amazing the flowers were, I was still hurt.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I said, still a little out of breath from earlier activities. He all but shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes and closed the door.
"Come on Martha. Please let me in." A heavy sigh left my mouth as I leaned against the door. I was only standing there for about 10 seconds before he spoke again, "I brought Chinese food." Pressing my lips together, I felt my resilience crumbling. It had been hours since I last ate but I didn't want to give in so easily. After a few moments of hearing him shuffle around, I decided to open it. Those royal blue eyes met mine in an instant as they held relief and remorse all at the same time. "Hey." His tone was soft and comforting. Definitely nothing like the one that insulted me on my taste in men last week. Not wanting to look him in the eye, I let my head droop. The flooring of the entry way seemed more interesting. "Martha?"
"What do you want Ryan?" My voice stern. I had no idea what I did wrong to make him act so cold towards me.
Ryan's foot coming through the door made my head pop back up to him. His heavy steps came inside as I strode backwards into my house. There was a look of frustration on his face as he looked down at me closing the door behind him. I furrowed my brows confused by what he was doing. Soon his face went back to remorse, "Martha, I'm sorry."
"For what?" I immediately walked away and went straight for the kitchen. I could hear how sorry he was but I wanted to push because I wanted a real apology.
Behind me, he lightly huffed in annoyance that I was making him say it. "For making that comment back at the club. I didn't...I didn't mean it."
I reached the kitchen when I turned and snapped at him immediately, "Yes you did. And why wouldn't you? When basically the only guy I've been with, that you kept warning me about, ended up being a lying cheat."
"That's besides the point, I shouldn't have said what I said. I wasn't in a good...head space." He tilted his head to the side and stared and I mean stared hard. The puppy dog eyes were in full display and begging for forgiveness.
My teeth came out to bite my bottom lip as I stifled a grin, "Stop it."
"Stop what?" He said innocently, knowing damn well what he was doing.
"That!" I yelled pointing at his face.
He widened his eyes as he smiled and shrugged, acting completely oblivious, "What?!"
"That! That look you like to give me, the one that says forgive me because I'm adorable. You've been doing it since you were seven! How are you still able to do that?!"
"Guess I'm just that adorable," He paused, allowing us to lightly chuckle at his cockiness, "But seriously, I am sorry for being an ass and taking my frustrations out on you. That wasn't fair to you and I know I spoiled your night." There weren't any puppy dog eyes, there was sincerity and that made me feel a lot better. Knowing that he wasn't trying to just manipulate me into forgiving him but was actually sorry for hurting me.
"Okay." I said simply. Another thing came to mind, "Also I'm sorry for throwing Paola in your face like that."
"I didn't know you knew about that." Rubbing the back of his neck.
I shrugged, "Ryan I'm not blind, anyone that was there when we were teenagers could tell you two were sleeping together."
A pained expression came over his face as I saw his mind racing, "Here I thought I did such a good job hiding it from you."
"Why did you even put in so much effort?"
A humorless chuckle came from him, "Wasn't my finest moments... I didn't want you thinking less of me."
"Ryan, who you sleep with, would never change my opinion of you." I said with conviction. He needed to know, even if I may not agree with who it was, that doesn't change how I see him.
Relief took over his expression before he looked over my shoulder and paused his movements. "I see you got my flowers."
"Yea." I looked over my shoulder seeing the flowers sitting on the counter by my kitchen sink, fully bloomed. The heat running up my neck and to my cheeks made me turn away. I walked further into the kitchen. I turned around once I was by the sink, "You remembered."
"I would never forget your favorites." He said in a low tone. Ryan shrugged nonchalantly, "So, I know you haven't eaten, thought I would bring over some Chinese." He held up the brown paper bag victoriously, looking so proud of himself.
I decided to tease him, "Who said I didn't eat?".
"Because I know you." He said as a matter of fact.
"I guess you don't know me as well as you think." I said with a raised eyebrow, shrug of my shoulders, crossing my arms in front of me.
Amusement shined in those royal blues as he took intimidating strides towards me, making me back up into the counter. He was towering over me with his tall frame. "I know you."
"Do tell...because last time I checked you weren't here while I've been taking care of a sick Paige and working overnight shifts." I said proudly as if I had won.
Suddenly Ryan's lips curved to a satisfied grin, like he knew something I didn't. He tossed the bag next to the flowers and placed his hands on either side of me against the counter as he leaned in, "You only make soup when Paige gets sick and there is no way you would have had any. You would want Paige to eat all of it, all week, just to make sure she was cured by your 'magical' soup. And the overnights, come on, you only eat what's in the vending machine, if that. Need I go on?" I started chuckling at his analysis.
The bag did smell heavenly. Unfortunately, embarrassment filled me as my stomach lightly growled, ending my facade. I was hoping he wasn't able to hear it but based on our proximity and the clear smirk that was on his face, he had. Ryan backed up slightly and shrugged, "But if you don't want any of that shrimp fried rice, lo mein, and other yummy things I bought. I guess I could always just eat it al—"
"Alright enough!" I immediately turned to get the bag, but Ryan was faster and grabbed it up before I had the chance.
He held it over his head and raised his eyebrows at me, "Where are your manners Mar?" He began chuckling, knowing he had won our power struggle.
I rolled my eyes, as I started to feel the effects of becoming hangry and lunged at him. I knew my small frame wasn't going to topple him over or be able to reach the food but I was stubborn as all hell. Soon enough I was jumping with both hands in the air. He kept the one hand with food in it up and the other was on my waist trying to keep me at a distance.
The fact that all I had was a towel on finally became apparent to me by the draft I felt a few moments later. Our eyes locked as my towel slipped and stiffly hit the ground. We were both completely frozen and the smiles were wiped clean.
The sheer embarrassment alone was enough to set my cheeks aflame. I felt Ryan's hand on my bare skin and hoped he couldn't hear how hard my heart was pounding against my chest. I was exposed underneath his touch. Though the look in his eyes didn't look anything like the panic I was feeling, I saw something else and it was intense.
Desperate?
He swallowed hard and his jaw was clenched tight as the rest of his body tensed. The arm that was holding the food up slowly came down. I felt the hand on my waist tighten a bit making my lips part slightly and a small gasp leave them but his grip loosened right away. He removed it slowly, placing it back at his side.
"Please don't look" I didn't even recognize my own voice, I'm surprised he even heard me with how the words crept out.
"I won't." He sighed slightly, putting his lips into a tight line.
I let out a heavy breath thinking about what to do next, "Okay um... close your eyes...no wait just turn around...no just um."
"Why don't you just—"
" I-I-I can't think straight." He chuckled lightly following my previous instructions. As soon as he turned around I grabbed my towel and covered myself. I quickly scurried away making my way upstairs.
"I'll start setting up the food!" With that I heard kitchen cabinets opening and plates hitting the counter.