At six, dressed in a pair of black jeans, Converse and a normal t-shirt with a random logo on, I ran down the stairs. Excited for what the night might bring. I'd applied some make-up as well, making me feel like an actual human being for the first time in weeks.
Throwing open the front door I found Dean leaning casually against a car I'd never seen before, his arms folded as he looked at Conor with a bored expression. Connors ridge stands told me they were having a disagreement. Well Conor was at least, Dean on the other hand resembled someone merely listening to a story they'd heard a thousand times.
I couldn't stop the butterflies in my stomach, when I watched Dean's eyes light up at the sight of me. His expressions were so unreadable it felt good to know my presence sparked something of one. I told myself it had nothing to do with the fact that me being there offered Dean an escape from Conor.
"Robert won't like this." Conor announced, alarmed.
"How about you stick to your job and I'll stick to mine." Dean gave Conor a patronising tap on the arm. As if to say, fuck off old chap. He then proceeded to round the car, opening the door for me. I couldn't suppress my smile at the small gesture.
I kept telling myself it wasn't a date, yet the thought was there, refusing to go away.
Ignoring Conor, I got in, thankful for the window being down so I could hear the rest of the conversation as Dean got behind the wheel.
"Don't think I won't tell him!" Conor yelled, causing Dean to look at him pointedly.
Dean's posture looked so relaxed you'd have thought they were talking about the weather or something. He pushed the stick into first gear before replying to Conor. "Do whatever you want Conor. I don't care."
And just like that we were off.
Nobody at the gate even bothered to approach the car, they opened immediately and we were on our way. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely bricking it. All afternoon I'd spent on the phone with Gemma trying to decide the perfect outfit, before Chase had taken the phone off of her and decided for me.
The causal t-shirt look hadn't been Gemma's idea, she'd wanted me to wear a much classier and Gemma inspired look. But Chase's reasoning of being a boy and knowing what boys like won out. However, what Chase thought looked nice and Dean did were two different things.
As the car descended into the main road, I couldn't help but worry I'd gotten Dean into trouble. Being in the car brought back the memories of the last time Dean and I were out together. Although the circumstances had been very different.
"What was that about?" I asked, trying to take my mind off the uneasiness I felt about leaving the safety of the house behind.
"Connors trying to grow some balls, it's painful to watch, I know." Dean's tone was careless. He clearly meant what he'd said to Conor about him doing what he wanted.
The sudden change of attitude was a little alarming. Just last night he'd been telling me I couldn't even tell the Cotton's about us, and now he was taking me out in plain view? Basically daring Conor to tell Robert. Everything didn't add up.
"I don't want to get you into trouble." I bite my lip, thinking of how annoyed Robert might be.
Quickly glancing over, Dean placed a hand on my knee, rubbing slow circles to smooth me. Such a insignificant action, but one which made my heart skip a beat nonetheless. Who was I kidding? Every time Dean touched me my heart began to race.
But this was different. Dean wasn't touching me for a mutual sexual benefit. He was doing this just because, or to reassure me. Whatever it was for, the token hadn't been just for sex. Was I overthinking this, or had the dynamics of our relationship changed somehow?
"Trust me, I can handle your father." Dean said, checking me over before returning his eyes to the road.
Dean's laid back manner took me by surprise.
"I thought we had to keep everything a secret from him? That he'd fire you if he knew?"
"I got it covered, just relax." His encouraging words left more questions than answers, but I ignored them. The time for worrying was done, I couldn't stop Conor saying anything now anyway.
Instead, I began to tell Dean about the Cotton's, determined to keep my mind off of the tenseness I felt being in the car. The ride was easy, it was more like, dare I say it, a relationship. Dean laughed along with the stories and asked questions with genuine curiosity. I felt myself wishing we never reached our destination.
Dean the whole time, smiled and chatted freely. This entire part of Dean I'd never known came out, I could no longer keep the beaming smile from my face. I felt happy. Happier than I'd felt in a long time, like I could do or be anything. As if I'd found a missing piece somewhere.
So when Dean turned into a neighbourhood with more sofas outside than in, I felt helpless as Dean's smile dropped and the conversation ended.
There were people everywhere, hanging over their garden fences, loudly chatting with cans glued to their hands. Music seemed to blare from every direction. All of them stared as Dean drove down the road, summing up us both.
Without thinking, I grabbed hold of the car door. Holding onto it as if my life depended on it.
"You're safe Megan." Dean spoke softly, his eyes still trained on the road. Obviously he would notice everything, the feature was concerning and reassuring all at once.
Thankfully, the next turning Dean took brought us to a long country road. The brushes on either side threaten to scratch the car at any given moment.
Soon the car pulled into an open field. In the middle sat a beautiful country house with ivy travelling up the side. Unlike Robert's the house had character about it, The look of a once loved house which has been abandoned.
Sloppily parked outside were two beaten up old cars, next to them a pile of building materials suggesting that someone had taken a chance on this worn out house.
From the lining of the trees I could tell the garden at the back ran for some length, I could see at the moment a line of black smoke disappearing up into the sky.
Dean turned off the engine, we sat in silence for a second. I waited for him to make the first move. Strange how Dean had brought us here, yet he seemed the least willing to get out. Rhythmically he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to make up his mind on what to do.
Meanwhile his hand rested protectively on my knee still, and eyes schooled forwards.
Still deep in thought, Dean looked over me. His eyes rested briefly on each piece of clothing, taking it in gradually.
"Let's do this." Was all he said, before getting out of the car.
The way Dean looked up at the house made me question who owed it. I felt the wave of strain Dean had as he took a few steps towards it.
He didn't head towards the front door, instead he made a beeline for the back. Without looking back at me, I followed Dean. Apprehensive of what this evening might hold. Especially if Dean felt this bothered about being here.
As we neared the back I heard loud voices of people shouting and laughing. The sound brought me abruptly to a stop. With music from the charts piercing into the blue above, my feet refused to move. Had Dean brought me to a party? The notion was somewhat laughable.
Noticing my sudden lack of movement, Dean retraced his steps.
"Don't worry. They're friends."
"I didn't know you had any." The reply was honest, and so was the laugh Dean released.
Entwinning my hand within his, Dean walked confidently through the back gate. The smell of smoke hit me, as well as everyone's eyes, five pairs to be exact.
Two boys and a girl who were sitting around the fire, lifted their hands in acknowledgment of Dean's arrival, shouting his name with excitement. That snapped the two men around the BBQ out of whatever thought process they were in.
The smile on the face of the taller of the two men, slowly disappeared as his eyes landed on me. I looked over to the three around the fire and couldn't not notice how their faces looked very much the same.
I'd arrived all of two seconds ago and people already hated me, great. Giving my hand a squeeze, Dean moved forwards, further into the lion's den I thought only half jokingly.
The shorter man by the BBQ muttered something prior to the taller one sticking his hand out. Their exchange was heated for sure, ended by the shorter one aggressively pushing the taller one's hand away with disgust and marching over to Dean and I.
Sensing the oncoming storm, Dean's hand clamped around mine. Even if I wanted to turn and run, which I did, I couldn't. Instinctively, I moved closer to Dean.
"What the fuck is this Dean? You brought his daughter?" The man yelled, a flat hand pointing straight at me. He didn't glance my way, pretending I wasn't there. Which I was grateful for, he spoke with such hatred I wanted to hide behind Dean.
Down one side of his face, ran a deep and ugly scar. The upper half of his ear was missing, as well as the hair which should have been there. He stood at just over five foot 6, and the white vest top he wore showed how many hours the guy spent in the gym. He resembled a human barrel, with arms so large I imagined he'd struggle touching his shoulders.
"She's my guest. End of discussion." Dean's voice was calm, that kind of calm which had an edge to it.
Tugging my hand, Dean made an attempt to move further into the garden, only to be stopped by the man shoving a finger into Dean's chest. From the fire, the three people stood up slightly, very aware of the stormy exchange happening metres away.
The man at the BBQ had begun to approach slowly, each step very purposeful. Like the wrong one would send the man in front of Dean off into a frenzy.
Dean's eyes, briefly shifted from the man, to the finger planted on his chest. Dean always had a serious vibe about him, but only a few times had I seen him look deadly. One being when he shot my attacker. The fact he had the same look now, sent alarm bells ringing in my head.
Where had Dean brought us? Who the hell were these people and what had I done to them to get such a strong reaction?
"Get your finger off me Benji." Dean said each word slowly, allowing the warning within them to carry through.
Whether Benji didn't care or hadn't heard the warning I didn't know. Only that the guy showed no sign of backing down, instead he took a step close until the two men were nearly chest to chest.
"You shouldn't have brought her." Benji spared a glance my way, granting me a look of repulsion I'd never seen before. Impulsively I took a step back, if Dean wasn't holding on to my hand so firmly I'd have probably fled then and there.
The ghost of a smile, played across Benji's lips. Kicking myself, I'd realised I'd given the guy exactly what he wanted.
"Says who? You? You're only here to babysit your cousin, please don't think it's anything more." Venom laced Dean's words.
"What -" Cut Benji off, the other man from the BBQ stepped between the pair. Placing his hands either side of Benji's shoulders and pushing him back.
"Let's take this down a notch. Tammie, why not take Benji to go cool down." The man called to a girl who'd just popped her head out of the back door.
Just from the way she walked I knew she had an attitude about her. The shoulder length black hair sat straight. Not a single strand out of place. Her stride was sure, almost arrogant. Whilst a grin expressed how funny she found being called to her boyfriend's side.
There weren't many people I took an instant dislike to, but she was one.
"Don't tell my girlfriend what to do Josiah." Benji jabbed back at the man, causing him to go backwards slightly.
I watched as Josiah's face changed from easy-going to pissed in seconds. Shoving Benji much harder, Josiah advanced. Ready to go toe to toe with Benji.
Meanwhile Dean stayed where he was, observing everything but saying nothing.
"You can either cool off, or I can heat up. But when I get hot, I get boiling." Josiah said as he grabbed Benji by the front of his top.
Benji's gaze flickered between Josiah, Dean and myself. The inner conflict plain across his face, although the way his eyes narrowed each time they came to rest on me told me all I needed to know. This man hated my guts.
Benji never got a chance to choose, a man who had a familiar look just without the scars and half ear, stuck his head out of the back door. It took him all of two seconds to realise what the commotion was about.
Like his relative, the man's eyes settled on me. Recognising me somehow. I tried to think back, had I ever met these men before? The clear answer was no, but they had to have some reason to dislike me so much.
To my relief, this man's eyes didn't hold the same loathing, they were more inquisitive. Checking me over, analysing everything I wore.
"Benji, get in here." He called, then vanished back into the house.
Benji gave me one last look before wrenching free of Josiah's hold.
"Whatever man." Benji strengthened his vest, grabbed his still grinning girlfriend's arm and pulled her towards where the man had gone.
Once Benji was definitely gone, Josiah turned to Dean beaming. Instantly Dean released my hand and the pair embraced like brothers. Wrapped their arms around each other like bears.
The people around the fire had returned to their seats, everything was as it should be. Whilst I stood awkwardly to the side, afraid to move an inch encase I offended someone else.
"Man, it's good to see you." Dean said when the pair separated.
"You're looking good."
"You get boiling?" Dean questioned whilst chuckling.
"Hey, take the piss all you want but I still think it sounded cool." Josiah defending himself.
"Cool? You sounded like a middle-ages woman going through the menopause."
Their laughter cut short from the shouting coming from the house. Anxiously I looked at Dean, who looked irritated with the whole situation.
"I better go smooth this over. Josiah, you'll make Megan feel at home right?" Josiah's eyes lit up, he had a kind face I thought. Standing at the same height as Dean, Josiah's dark skin, long black hair and beard separated them. His frame was far slimmer, he didn't carry the same muscle mass as Dean. Yet when he'd squared up to Benji, there had been no doubt in my mind the guy could handle himself.
"Sure thing boss man."
Dean smoothed the few loose strands of hair out of my face, before planting a sweet kiss on my lips. Something he'd never done in public. The way his lips lingered longer than possible, while his hands pulled me closer, told me he was claiming possession.
He wanted these people to know I was with him, the idea sent a thrill of excitement through my body.
Giving me a small smile, Dean pulled back.
"He's great with ladies but not with commitment, don't let his charm fool you." He said loud enough for Josiah to hear. The whole time, stroking my cheek reassuringly with his thumb.
I didn't want Dean to leave. Consciously I stopped myself from clinging onto him when he pulled back.
"Oh Dean, you'd be a lady killer too if you weren't so uptight and regimented. I guess that's the Russian in you." Josiah shouted at him, as Dean made it way inside, flipping Josiah the finger as he went.
Their relationship had clearly been formed over years. Out of all these people I realised I probably knew Dean the least. No doubt they all had experiences with him, what did I have? Sex stories.
Not for the first time since leaving the security of the Cotton's household had I left out of my depth.
"Hey Dean!" Still heading towards the house, Dean turned.
"Jessies waiting for you in the living room." Dean nodded in acknowledgment, then like the others vanished from view.
Jessie? I'd heard that name before, but where? The woods, that day Dean had put a knife to my throat. Thoughtful, I touched the area where Dean's blade had laid. Crazy how much had changed in such a short time. I felt like I'd lived another life since that moment.
Who was Jessie? Someone Dean cared for, I admitted sourly. Surely not a girlfriend or he wouldn't have brought me, right? Whoever the woman was, I prepared myself for the worse possible outcome.
Josiah caught my eye, his head tilted to one side, like he was trying to figure me out. Dean seemed to read my mind easily, perhaps Josiah didn't possess the same gift.
"Let's introduce you to some people." Josiah placed a warm hand on my back, guiding me to the three people chatting lively around the fire.
"I have a funny feeling everyone knows who i am already."
When we reached the BBQ, Josiah busied himself making a hotdog.
"Don't let Benji scare you. He's all mouth."
"He doesn't like me, why?"
"Not you, your father." He corrected me.
"Why?"
"That is a question, one I'm not sure I'm equip to answer. The simplest way to explain is that your father was in business with Benji and Diego's family, the Garcia's, and it went wrong." Josiah flipped the burgers over whilst he allowed the information to sink in.
The fact that I didn't immediately think of Josiah as lying told me a lot of how I felt towards my father. The rage that had rolled off Benji, made a lump form in my throat. What have you done Robert? A heaviness settled over me, as if someone had just dumped a lifetime of guilt onto my shoulders.
I thought back to the moment I'd seen a man, on his hands and knees in Robert's office. I'd forgotten the image as a misunderstanding, but perhaps there were things I didn't know about my father. Then again, Dean wouldn't be involved in that, and he definitely wouldn't be involved with someone who'd hurt his friends.
Hadn't Dean not so long ago, told me I didn't know my father as well as him, perhaps he did know. Was that why he didn't want Robert to know? Could he be afraid of Robert suspecting him of telling me something? Too many questions and not nearly enough answers.
"He screwed them?" I asked plainly.
"Yes, quite literally." Josiah handed me a hotdog.
Given the hot summer weather, eating something hot made me sweat just thinking about it. But not wishing to rock the boat any more, I accepted it graciously.
Wasting no time, Josiah took a massive bite out of his, Nearly halving the thing.
"I wouldn't have come if I'd have realised." Looking down at my food, ashamed of Robert.
"Don't give it another thought. The sins of the father doesn't reflect on the kin in my eyes. And anyway it's Dean's birthday, he has the right to bring whomever he wants." The news caused me to snap my head up.
"I didn't know it was his birthday. He didn't tell me." Should I have felt hurt? He had brought me to his party, surely he'd have known someone would mention it.
"Dean doesn't celebrate it. Something about knowing your age makes you old." Josiah and I wandered around the garden. I'd met him only minutes ago, but his presents were smoothing. Dressed suitable in jeans and a blue t-shirt, I was glad Chase's outfit advice paid off.
Looking at the three people around the fire, I noted how differently they all dressed. One leaned back in his deckchair, feet crossed at the ankles with his flip flops hanging on. Wearing just shorts, he was definitely ready for the sun. Beer in one hand, burger in the other, sunglasses on his face, he looked to be living the dream.
More comfortable than the other two. The guy kept shifting who I imagined to be his girlfriend from one leg to the other. The girl couldn't have weighed much, her tiny legs protruding out of what looked like pyjama shorts. The oversized jumper she wore read USA.
The guys whose leg she sat on, wore the most out of all three. The tailor's trousers, short sleeved shirt and loafers screamed money.
"Guess there is logic in that. How old is Dean?" I addressed Josiah, not wanting to appear to stare at the fire pit crew.
"You know, I don't actually know. Early twenties I'm guessing."
Peering back over to the house I wondered if everything had calmed down enough for me to go get Dean. No yelling could be heard, which was a good sign I hoped.
"I think I'm going to go find him if that's okay?"
"Sure, if you see Benji, tell him to go fuck himself." Josiah muttered, after shovelling a fresh hotdog into his mouth. I pretended not to notice the little bits of food that fell from his overly stuffed mouth.
Laughing to myself, I headed towards the house. Nervous for the greeting I might receive.
Through the door I came to a narrow hallway. Creeping down the hall, I gradually made my way. Half listening out for signs of Dean.
"So the plan can still go ahead?" My ears pricked up at Diego's voice.
The kitchen door was slightly ajar.
"Just without the girl." Dean spoke, from the thin slit I could make out Dean's back. He braced himself against the worktops.
Alright, I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but coming here had left me full of questions. And now I had more, what girl? Me? Or maybe this Jessie girl. Let's be honest, this wasn't the first time I'd eavesdropped to get answers and I doubt it would be my last.
Benji huffed loudly. "God, he's in love. Why else does he want to change everything around?" My heart thundered in my chest, the risk of being caught spying was high. All someone had to do was exit the kitchen or enter the house from the back.
"Dean, if you're compromised I need to know." Diego's tone dripped with seriousness.
"I'm not." Dean fired. Moving away from the counter he paced up and down the small space, agitated. "Just remember who even got you to this point." Dean stopped, directing his fury towards them. "I was the one who found you, picked you out of the fucking gutter and got you clean and sober. I have nothing to gain from any of this. So don't ever question me like I'm the outsider here."
"Apart from an ally for your boss." Benji counteracted.
I edged forwards fractionally, bringing Dean back into frame.
"People." Diego said.
Suddenly, my hiding place was outed, as all eyes landed on me.