****Delilah's POV****
It definitely seemed as though I couldn't catch a break tonight as when I walked back down the stairs, Jacques was there waiting for me. I signalled to the girls that they could leave and then turned back to him, sat on the stairs and avoiding my eye.
"Do you want me to speak to you or do you want me to leave you alone?" He asked.
"Sorry but do you know how rude you was out there? Acting like this is all my fault because we're technically both single, making out like this is something I should be forgiving you for. Like this is my problem."
"When have I said it you're problem?"
"It's become my problem when you've made me look like an absolute mug, you're making out like I should be applauding you for wanting me 'thanks for coming back single, I've been having a lovely time with all these girls but it's you that I want'."
"Ok."
"You're honestly sat here sulking, like give me something Jacques."
"I'm not sulking mate, I'm not sulking."
"Oh you're fine then?"
"Obviously I'm not fine, I'm seeing you upset. I care about you so much."
"No you don't care about me."
"I don't care about you at all?"
"Well that's not what your actions are saying. Did you expect me to be fine with this when you couldn't even stand me sleeping in the same bed as Jay before all this? Like I'm pretty sure I'll watch this back and see a hell of a lot more going on."
"No I didn't think it would be fine. Why would I?"
"At the end of the day, like you said before we both knew there was a chance this was going to happen. I've honestly backed you in front of all the new boys, saying you're not just a player and I could believe you. But I thought we had something and you clearly wasn't sure about it..."
"Here we go, go on then."
"You're attitude fucking stinks." I told him. "I'm not having this conversation right now."
"Walk away then."
"I will because you're immature."
"Immature, yes. Very immature." He followed me out into the bedroom.
"Are you not?"
"No whatever you say. It's clear you're always in the right." Honestly he's saying one thing but his attitude is appalling. "I'll get the door for you."
"Nah it's alright, I know this gentlemanly act must be hard to redo now. No need to fake it anymore."
"Keep faking it..."
"You don't know how happy I was to see you there alone because I genuinely believed we had something special." I knew this probably wasn't the place but I needed to get it out. "I thought for once in my life I'd found something special and I thought you felt the same way."
"Do you not think I felt the same way?"
"No because I had no doubts Jacques, there was never any point where I thought the right thing to do would be to test myself by kissing one of the boys."
"I would've coupled up with one of the girls..." I could see his anger and it was coming out with his raised voice.
"Lower your voice because I don't deserve that."
"That's what I don't understand, if you don't want me. If you don't want an apology then fine. Sweet"
"Sweet, like you've done nothing wrong."
"Like you never do anything wrong."
"Why the fuck are you suddenly turning this back on me? Watch that back and you'll see my actions in there, my actions this whole time."
"That's fine then, sweet."
"Sweet, you couldn't be less arsed about this whole situation."
"Of course I'm arsed. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because I've finally seen all the games you've been playing, the way you've been tying me up in this web of lies."
"What do you mean tying you into? What games have I been playing? What lies?"
"Everything you've said to me in the past three weeks, you sold me a dream and I was just foolish enough to believe you were being truthful. None of it matches up to how you acted whilst I was gone."
"I know it doesn't, looking back it doesn't make sense at all."
"But tell me the truth then, you've come over to me again and not once have you been open and honest. I'm literally having to draw the answers out of you because you're in some kind of sulk from your own actions and the consequences they have. Either be a man and face up to the facts or leave me the hell alone because I'm done. We're done."
I'm honestly in such a range of emotions, one minute I could cry and the next I've got anger surging through my veins. I guess I should probably thank Cheyanne for helping me see this side of him. I hope it was worth it.
"You good?" Indiyah shouted as I walked past the obvious stares in the garden.
"I'm always good."
"Come on babe." Dami said, crossing the garden and pulling me inside.
"It's not fair." I struggled to get out as he sat me down on one bed and then sat opposite me. "The way he made me feel before going in there was like he wanted to be exclusive. I get Casa is a test but do it in a respectful way. You only do what he did if something is missing, there was obviously some reason why he thought his feelings weren't real for me. But then he can't even give me a reason. At the moment it just seems like he doesn't it to be a lad and keep up this personna that he has and think with his dick because I'm not there."
"I promise it wasn't like that. He had a pillow wall between them and when we were chatting about this together we said you had to be fully open or fully closed..."
"Dami you know that's bullshit."
"How?"
"You're saying he couldn't have got to know the girl for a few days, decided to wait the what two three days we were apart and then tell me after that? No kissing in the bed?"
"We all come in here to explore connections in different ways and that's what we have to do. He was trying to be respectful."
"His actions are disgusting."
"Disgusting? But I feel like for a second he tried to think..."
"For whole second?! Should I give the lad a medal? Wait was that when he was kissing the girl in bed or when he probably got her in the pool, made her breakfast, told you boys about it..."
"Delilah...."
"I don't want to fall out with you but tell me this, how was he ever going to last in a relationship on the outside world? When we're not together all the time, when we have to trust each other."
"I'm telling you any bombshell could walk in now and he wouldn't even entertain it. This was clarity for him that he wants you. I know you don't like the way it's gone about but everybody has a different approach."
"But not everyone has morals Dami. I went there and made friends with all the boys, if something had have happened then it would have been with Jacques in my thoughts at all times. But he's done that and then he won't even apologise or give me any sort of answer."
"I know the reason why he did it."
"Well then I don't know what to say to you because you're always going to see his side over mine." I stood up. "I'm so done with it now."
****Jacques' POV****
I've fucked it up and now there's no way back. Watching her sat with the girls, a solemn smile on her face as she barely interacts with them. Just throwing a few comments here and there but I could see the light was gone and it was all because of me. My stupid actions.
"What's going on?" Luca asked, walking over to me.
"No point in me being here."
"Mate she's going to forgive you."
"Nah I won't let her forgive me."
"What do you mean? Don't be silly."
"This is what I mean though, she expects me to apologise to her and try and make things better but she deserves so much more than me."
"You can give her better, you've made one mistake at the start of something that could be really special. You've made a blip."
"But why would she want to be with someone like me anyway?"
"I know you're both a bit too emotional tonight and everything. Like give it till the morning and then see. I know you won't sleep but it will show her like you are serious about this."
Dami then came over and sat with us. "I had a chat with her earlier." He said. "The main thing she's saying is that you haven't apologised to her. So she's putting her guard up and showing this angry person when inside she's just as gutted as you are. The girls don't like what we done and we knew that."
"But why would I apologise for something... She's already made her decision."
"She hasn't. That girl has genuine feelings and she can't just shut them off like that."
"I don't know man.*
****Delilah's POV****
I did feel bad for the new girls with all the tension going round and I made a point to properly welcome Coco, Chyna and Summer when we got changed for bed. Making sure they knew I wasn't always like that and I'm sure they'll fit in well in this villa.
"Where are you sleeping tonight?" Ekin asked.
"I'm not sleeping in his bed, I'll sleep in the dog house."
When I made it back down there I could see he was sat on the edge of the bed, his pillow in hand ready to go.
"I'm going." I told him, my voice cold as I picked up my eye mask from the side of the bed, his name still brandished on it. "You can have this back as well."
"Lilah..."
"Not tonight, please."
"Let me sleep in the dog house."
"I can't sleep in this bed, please."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." I confirmed.
I left before he could say anything else, going into the other room which also had beds for Danica and Josh and Jay and Chyna.
"You alright?" Josh asked as I got settled in bed.
"I will be, you have to be."
If I thought my last night in Casa was a bad night's sleep this was a thousand times worse. I just wish I had answers, all night I just had scenarios spinning round my head trying to work out what went wrong, were there any signs, could I have done anything.
"How are you feeling?" Danica asked that next morning as all us OG girls sat on the balcony.
"I don't really know how to feel right now, I'm just trying to keep a smile on my face for as long as possible. I came in here wanting a man, I wanted someone who respected me and his actions last night showed he had none of that. So unless he's grew a pair over night, he can go back to forgetting I existed and then when he's done that he can realise he had a diamond and now he's got trash."
"Period!"
"Indiyah what about you?"
"I haven't spoken to him at all. He's been avoiding eye contact, like he's not spoken a single word to me."
"He had a lot to say at the fire pit."
"He had a lot to say." Indiyah agreed with Danica. "He just had some much pettiness and frostiness in his voice."
"Tash?"
"It's hard because I still have this really strong connection with Andrew but then I also might have something with Billy. It didn't feel right cuddling him last night, I just feel like I don't want my actions to get in the way of something happening."
"The new girls seem nice though." I said, trying to put a positive spin on things. "I wouldn't want them to feel unwelcome because of the boys."
"Yeah I agree."
*****
The smile remained on my face for the whole day. I kept Jacques at arms length and Dami just because I don't know I got weird vibes from him last night. It felt like he was trying to excuse Jacques' actions when as my friend I expected him to at least call him out for it. But I got changed into my black cropped top and beige trousers knowing this couldn't last too much longer and I needed to speak to him at some point.
He barely even gave me time to pull him for the chat as when we'd finished the toast he motioned me over to the kitchen. "Don't take the piss because I am nervous." He said as we took a seat on the kitchen sofa. "Ok?"
"Ok."
"I don't want to lose you, it's as simple as that. And I'm really sorry for hurting you, I genuinely am and I never want to hurt you again. It's literally made me realise that I only want you. If you don't want me then it's fine and I'll walk away but it's just you."
"I don't want to start an argument." I told him. "But this has shown me that we've got such different minds on how to deal with situations and relationships. Maybe you're not ready for that, maybe I should have known that but I just wanted to be respected. For me any man should have behaved better than what you did."
"I want to be better for you. I see you being the one I take home to my mum, the one I integrate in my life after here. If I could go back and change it, I would in a heartbeat. I can't face that the situation I'm in right now could mean losing you."
"Lose me like you had me in the first place. I'd love to be able to forget about things I really would, I want to just be myself again but right now every time I look at you, I see her and I can't live like that. I had some really low moments in Casa, all I wanted was you and then suddenly I'm back at square one again."
"I understand."
"I need to put me first and that right now means I can't be around you."
"I know."
"I'll sleep in the dog house again." I said standing up. "I hope it was all worth it."
*****
Sometimes in this place you can become so invested in your own drama and trying to calm yourself down that you miss little things that are happening and it wasn't until Tasha came storming over to Indiyah and I later that I realised something was happening with her and Andrew.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Do I have like mug written on my forehead?"
"Why?"
"No I actually can't. He's been sucking on her fucking tits as well."
"What?" Gemma joined us, just catching the last of that comment.
"Are you joking?"
"That's why he just came and told me because Coco just said I've told the boys about it. This is literally less than an hour after I sat him down on the terrace and gave him the opportunity to tell me everything, I literally said 'have you done anything other than kissing on the terrace, kissing in the pool'. That all came from Coco by the way, Andrew only ever told me it was just a kiss."
"What the actual fuck have these boys been doing?"
"And he wasn't even going to tell you that, he's telling you because she was going to." Gemma added.
"I was like why didn't you tell me? He said he just couldn't remember."
"You're telling me he can't remember kissing a girl in the pool, he can't remember having a girl's nipple in his mouth? How convenient for him."
"It's the face as well that I've been made out to be the villain. and the bad guy when he's done so much worse. He's fucked it. I'm done."
Coco chose that lovely moment to come in. "Obviously I've been holding that in and giving him the chance to tell you. It probably didn't come out in the proper way, but yeah. It probably makes more sense the way I felt now, but I just feel so guilty."
"Don't feel guilty." I told her. "You've done nothing wrong, you've both been played."
"Yeah don't worry." Tasha said.
"I feel like I should tell you more then, without sugar coating it. He was like 'I want to ruin you'."
"O" I don't think my mouth could get any wider when she said that. Fucking hell everything I learn about the boys whilst we were gone makes it worse."
"I need to calm down because at this moment I'm going to pop." He of course chose that moment to walk past. "You're a fucking liar."
"That is my line Natasha." Of course Davide chooses now
"Davide it's not the time."
"What's the problem now?"
"You're still going to stick up for him?" I said, noticing the smirk on his face and Luca's. "Fucking grow up the lot of you. One girl is crying and the other's upset, like have some respect."
"I opened up so much to him." Tasha said in floods of tears. "I told him things that were so personal to me and yet I'm the one that keeps being called fake when I've been the most real through this whole process. He keeps using the shitty excuse that he was angry but he can't use that anymore because it's literally bullshit."
"These boys man."
I'd say it shocked me his actions but who knows anymore, could the standard in this place have been so lower. Like I guess Luca was probably seen as some sort of Saint for staying loyal. Like God find us some men
****Author's Note****
I hope you like this chapter.
Obviously she has no idea about any of the boys or Coco yet.
Please vote and comment any suggestions.
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