I woke with a start, a loud knock from the door across the room startling me.
I pulled my eye mask off and snapped my eyes open as I heard Nialls voice calling out, "Harry! Wake up or I'm coming in you lazy piece of shit!"
I flicked my eyes to the side to see Harry lying on his side next to me, his eyes closed as he still slept peacefully.
He was clearly not hearing Nialls threat.
"Harry!" I whisper yelled to him as I shook him. "Wake up!"
"Mm..." He murmured before whining out like a child. "Noo... Sleeping."
"Harry, you have three seconds before I come in there." Niall warned from the other side of the door.
One of Harrys eyes peaked open as he finally heard Niall speak. "Fucking hell." His deep morning voice rasped.
He had literally just woken up. His hair a ruffled mess on his light colored pillow, his eyes still foggy from his sleep.
How is he so attractive without trying?
Okay, seriously not the time to be thinking like this.
"Three!" Niall called out, the clicking of the doorknob showing that he was coming into the room.
Harry's eyes widened at me, matching my look of fear. In a haste decision I quickly rolled to the side of the bed and let myself fall to the floor.
I had no other option.
"What the fuck do you want?" Harry snapped to I'm assuming Niall who was now entering his room.
I heard a few footsteps, along with feeling them against the floor. I moved my head to the side, looking underneath Harrys bed seeing Nialls shoes as he took a few more slow steps into Harrys room.
Jake, who was previously asleep on the end of the bed, jumped down to join me on the floor. His wet nose touching my cheek as his tail wagged against the floor in heavy thumps.
I put my finger to my mouth to try and tell him to be quiet but ended up smiling as he placed a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek. His big brown eyes looking up to me as he laid his head on the floor with a heavy sigh.
"I don't know where Rori is." Niall huffed as if he were out of breath. "The whole house is looking for her. Millie even called Louis and Liam to have them search around their house."
"Why the fuck would you do that?" Harry asked with anger in his voice. "She's probably in the bathroom."
"No." Niall interjected. "I knocked on her door for like five minutes and when she didn't answer I opened the door to check on her but she wasn't in her room. I checked the patio outside of her room, went downstairs and checked the backyard, the gym, everything. I've been looking for the last thirty minutes."
"I think I heard the shower running not too long ago." Harry answered quickly, much faster than I could have.
I have no idea what I would have said if I was in his situation, but luckily for me even in his sleepy trance he was able to think quickly.
"Really?" Niall sounded shocked. "I knocked on the bathroom door and she didn't answer."
Harry scoffed, "Yeah I don't blame her. I wouldn't answer if someone was knocking on the bathroom door either when I was trying to wake up and shower."
"Yeah, but that's you." Niall said.
"Whatever, Niall." Harry huffed, "Just get the fuck out of my room."
"Alright, I'm gonna go check and see if she's in her room yet." I heard Niall say as I continued watching his feet disappear into the hallways as he shut Harrys bedroom door behind him.
As soon as the door was shut I jumped up from where I had been laying on the floor next to Harrys bed and sprinted for the bathroom door and running through it.
As soon as I stepped into the room I heard a knock on my door. "Darlin', you in there?"
"Yeah! Just a second!" I called out from where I stood doubled over next to my bed.
Finally I stood up straight, lifting my hands from the tops of my thighs as I huffed out a few breaths to try and compose myself.
Yeah I know, it was only a few feet but I'm seriously not in the best shape. Don't judge me. Until Niall forced me to work out with them, the last time I actually worked out was in high school.
I reached the door and opened it to reveal Niall standing in his usual black shorts and white tank top, his questioning eyes searching over me.
"You look like ya just woke up." Niall said with a small laugh.
"No, I've been up for a while." I lied as he took in my appearance.
"Been looking for you. Thought 'chya ran off." He said, his light eyes meeting mine again.
"Oh really?" I tried my best to act shocked, hoping that it was enough to convince him. "I'm sorry, I was in the bathroom doing some skin care earlier. I had the laptop in there and was using headphones so if you knocked or something I didn't hear you..."
He nodded his head to me as he listened to me, his brows pinched together a bit.
"Then I got in the shower— I just got out a few minutes ago." I said feeling sick in my stomach from lying to Niall.
I started to fidget with my fingers, hoping he'd leave soon so I wouldn't have to keep this up much longer.
"Your hair isn't wet."
Oh.
Oh no. He knows I'm lying. He's going to question me. How am I going to avoid telling him that I was in Harrys room?
What if I can't?
What if I ended up slipping and Harry gets pissed off because now everyone will know that I was in his room.
"You have a sister, you know girls don't wash their hair every time they're in the shower." I answered defensively, though since I was in a rush it wasn't really well thought out. "I'm sorry, is there a reason you're questioning me?"
Niall shrugged, "I heard a thump in Harrys room when I walked in, then you're out of breath when you answered your bedroom door..." He raised his eyebrows to me.
"I dont know what you're implying. I've been in here since I got out of the bathroom." That technically wasn't a lie. I have been in my room since sprinting through the bathroom.
"Okay." Niall shrugged. "Breakfast is ready, has been for a while."
"Alright, thanks." I muttered as he walked away from my door, heading towards the stairs down the hall.
I let out a long sigh as I closed my bedroom door. I rested my head against the cool hardwood, the throbbing in my head not as bad as I had expected it to be, yet it was still there and making it hard to have to function as much as I have had to this morning.
I heard the bathroom door open and I looked to my right to see Harry leaning against the doorframe. "You're a shit liar." He scoffed at me with a subtle shake of his head. As he spoke Jake walked out of the bathroom towards my patio door, sitting near it he turned to watch both Harry and I. "You might as well have told him you slept in my room." Harry added.
"I did the best I could." I defended myself. "Trust me, I don't want people knowing I was in there either."
"Oh yeah?" He quirked his eyebrow at me with slight amusement in his voice. "What's got you so uptight this morning?"
I took a step away from the door, "You mean apart from nearly being caught in your room?"
"Mm..." He hummed.
I rolled my eyes as I crossed over to the chair holding his hoodie. "I'm just surprised you're
talking to me."
"Why's that?" He questioned.
I stood with my back to him, bringing his hoodie up from the chair to place it on my body. Pulling my head through I quickly found the arm holes, then pulled it down my body. I tugged my hair out from the neck hole and turned around to face him.
Only he was much closer than I thought he would be. Instead of being in the doorway like before he was now standing just about a foot in front of me, close enough to reach out and touch if I wanted.
My breath hitched as I realized our sudden close proximity. Alcohol was no longer in my system for bravery, so I stood in silent shock as his eyes burned into mine.
"Figured you would go back to ignoring me until you were drunk again." I said in a whisper, my words barely being able to be forced out.
"Is that what you want me to do?" He asked, his eyes searching over my face, landing on my lips for a moment before pulling back up to look into my eyes.
I shook my head, "No."
Being this close to him caused the air to feel thick as a memory from last night rushed through my mind.
"Do you want to watch a movie?"
I cocked my head back with a smile, "Really? That's your question?"
I've been in Harrys room for a couple minutes now and we've continued on with our game. Luckily for me he dropped the topic of my ex, having sex and orgasms.
"Yeah, that's my question." He answered.
"Sure." I nodded. "We can watch a movie."
Shortly after we were laid back on the pillows staying a good distance from each other with his laptop resting on his bent legs as he scrolled through different movie titles.
We decided on a scary movie, which probably wasn't a good idea, but he seemed excited for it.
I don't even know what movie he settled on, all I know is it was some haunted house movie that had me squeezing my eye shut every so often so that I wouldn't see what was happening on the screen.
We were just over halfway done with the movie when my eyelids started getting heavy. I rolled onto my side under his blanket and stuck my hand under my cheek, fighting off my heavy eyes as much as I could.
"You tired?" Harry asked.
"Yeah." I said, eyes closing.
"Go to sleep then."
"I wanna finish the movie."
"We can finish it tomorrow." He offered. I sighed, agreeing and then started to pushed myself to sit up, "Where are you going?" He asked.
"To bed." I laughed as I turned my head to look at him.
"You don't want to stay in here?"
I couldn't help the shock that was in my voice as I asked, "You want me to stay in here?"
"If you want." He shrugged dismissively, looking away to pause the movie that was still playing.
"I have to go back to my room anyway." I sighed, my body collapsing backwards onto his bed in defeat. "And I'm tired, so if I go back in there I'll just want to stay in there and sleep."
Truthfully, I really don't want to get up. Harry"s bed is really comfortable and I'm exhausted.
"Why do you have to go back to your room?"
"I don't have my eye mask." I huffed, motioning up to my face. "Can't sleep without it."
"You did last night."
"I didn't mean to fall asleep last night." I answered, closing my eyes again. "I tried to stay awake and make sure you were okay." I paused momentarily, my lips pursing. "I know it seems childish to need it to sleep, but it's kind of like a security blanket at this point. It helps me ground myself when I wake up from a bad night terror."
I don't know why I told him that. It kind of seems silly, but I guess maybe it's because I know he understands about the dreams I have.
"Where is it?" I heard him ask as I heard him shut the laptop, a scraping noise coming from his side of the bed which I'm assuming was him putting the laptop down on his night stand.
"In my room." I answered with my eyes still closed.
"Obviously." He said in irritation. "Where at in your room?"
"My nightstand." I let out another sigh as I was about to force myself up from his warm bed.
"I'll get it for you."
His words caused me to open my eyes. I looked to the side to see him looking at me from where he lay on his back next to me. His eyes met mine, and as always, sent that same swirling feeling into my stomach.
"If you want." He added.
"It's okay... I don't have to sleep in here. I know you don't like having people come in here, I'll just go back to my room." I said keeping our eyes connected.
"Don't worry about it." He said pushing himself up to lean on his elbows. "I'll get it for you." He said dismissing pretty much everything I had said.
"You sure?" I questioned.
"Yeah." He said shortly as he swung his legs over the side of his bed.
"Mm... okay." I hummed, my eyes closing again.
I felt a dip in the bed, then heard his footsteps walking towards the door. I heard him flick on the light as he entered the bathroom, then I stopped listening because I was becoming too tired to focus on anything.
I would have fought harder on it and actually gotten up and went to my room to prove that I respected his space but I was honestly too tired to try and walk to my room anyway.
I still haven't got a good night sleep since being here and adding all of the stress on top of that is really starting to add up and take it's toll on me.
"Here." I felt a soft fabric on my fingers as Harry placed the mask over my hand.
I let out a small laugh, clutching the mask in my fingers as Harry turned off the lamp on his nightstand. Then I felt the bed dip again as he laid back down next to me.
"What's funny?" He asked.
"I thought you didn't do sleep overs." I said, the humor evident in my voice even though I was on the verge of falling asleep.
"Guess we're both full of surprises." He murmured into the quiet room.
"Why would you think I'd only talk to you when I'm drunk?" Harry questioned, pulling me back into reality, the memory of last night falling away just as quickly as it came.
With another small step his body was almost touching mine, his eyes still watching me intently. I could feel the heat rising into my cheeks as he waited for me to answer him.
"Be—" I cut myself off, clearing my throat a bit to try and make my voice more audible. "Because that's usually the only time you do talk to me."
His eyes watched me for a few more seconds as if he were trying to make out what I had just said.
His face was unreadable, leading me to believe he was an expert at hiding what he was thinking. I don't think that there has ever been a time I've been able to tell what mood he's in, or what could possibly be going on in his mind when I look at him.
And on top of trying to figure all of this out I still can't wrap my mind around everything that happened last night. I was trying to process and figure out what it all meant.
I'm not dumb, I know he flips. One minute he's talking, or even singing in the car and the next he goes back to being the same person who threatened to take me back to Conner. I don't trust him and I don't see myself ever fully being able to, but there's something about him. Something that keeps pulling me back towards him regardless of what he says or how he treats me. It's so... intoxicating.
His shoulder brushing against mine as he walked past me towards my door leading out to the patio caused me to refocus on reality.
"I'll be out here when you're done with breakfast." He said as he pulled the sliding door open.
I heard his boots as he stepped out onto the patio, sliding the door shut a few moments later.
I let out a long breath, closing my eyes now that I was alone.
I'm losing my mind.
I walked towards my dresser and slid on my slippers before heading towards my door to go down stairs. My mind was still reeling from what happened last night, between the conversation we had and everything else that happened. Such as him inviting me to his room and watching a movie.
I feel like I'm going crazy.
I just kept thinking about how he sat quietly with his hands folded over his stomach, his eyes intently watching the screen in front of him. His head lulled back to rest against his headboard while I sat next to him like a creeper only halfway paying attention to the movie.
I spent majority of the time in his room trying to study him. The way he sat, how he watched the movie... I was just trying to to understand him.
That is, until my eyes became too heavy for me to keep open.
As I walked through the opening of the kitchen I saw everyone either sitting around the island or leaning against a counter eating scrambled eggs and bacon.
"There she is!" Niall said looking over his shoulder, taking a bite of bacon as he smiled to me.
"Had us looking all over for you." Louis mumbled as he raised a coffee mug to his lips.
"I'm sorry." I scrunched my face up in embarrassment. "I was listening to music and—"
"Niall told us." Millie cut me off with a laugh. "Louis and Liam are just mad they're up this early on a Friday."
"Well yeah!" Liam let out a scoff. "Who wakes up early on Fridays?"
"We do." Thalia responded before anyone else could.
"That's different." Liam dismissed. "You guys have this whole "everyday family breakfast" thing going on."
"You're just mad you don't have anyone to cook for you at your house." Niall said as he walked over to the stove to pile more scrambled eggs onto his plate.
"Easy!" Thalia hissed to him. "Rori and Harry haven't ate yet."
Niall rolled his eyes, pushing half of the eggs off of his plate and back into the pan. "Not like Harrys coming down anyway." He muttered.
"Why do you say that?" Thalia crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned against the counter next to the stove, her eyes never leaving Niall.
"He was still in bed when I went up there." His eyes flashed over to me subtly before looking back to Thalia. "Wouldn't be surprised if he went back to sleep."
"Not much of a family breakfast if everyone doesn't participate." I heard Liam grumble under his breath.
"Piss off." Thalia snapped as she looked to Liam. "You could've went home but you decided to stay, no one forced you. So either shut it and eat your family breakfast, or leave."
After she finished speaking Thalia turned and walked out of the kitchen. A silence falling over us as we all watched her walk away towards the main room.
"Fucking hell." Niall rolled his eyes, "The Styles' are nothing if not dramatic assholes, that's for sure."
"Aw come on, she's just frustrated." Millie said, lowering the glass of orange juice from her lips.
"Harry knows how she feels about having breakfast with you guys everyday. It's important to her." Louis added as he walked towards the sink to rinse off his plate. "I don't blame her for being mad."
"She doesn't have to take it out on me though." Liam mumbled, lowering his eyes down to his plate on the kitchen island. "Not my fault Harry doesn't care about breakfast."
"She's just upset, you know she didn't mean it." Millie offered Liam a smile, reaching out in front of her to place her hand on his.
Liams eyes went wide as he looked up to Millie, Millies hand retracting quickly while she looked to her brother then over to Louis.
Louis was putting his plate in the dishwasher and Niall was stuffing food into his mouth at an unhealthy rate, so neither of them were paying any attention to Liam or Millie.
I walked over to the stove and put a spoonful of cheesy eggs onto a plate, along with a few pieces of bacon. I grabbed a fork from the drawer and leaned against the counter to start eating.
"Here, take my seat." Liam offered as he began to stand up. "I'm 'bout to leave and take a nap anyway."
"Thanks." I smiled to him as I headed over to where he had been sitting.
"Hurry up then, I got some work to do since I'm awake." Louis said stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets.
I looked up him, Niall watching me and clearly seeing the confusion on my face.
"Believe it or not we actually do have work to do sometimes darlin'." He said with a laugh as he picked up the orange juice jug.
"Sorry." I murmured. "I thought delivering drugs was your job."
"There's a lot more to it than that, I assure you." Niall said as he poured the orange juice into an empty glass on the table, then nodding his head over to Louis. "Louis and Harry, as much as you might not believe it, are really smart—"
"Hey, watch it." Louis warned.
"Fucks sake, calm down. I wasn't talking about you. I was meaning she probably doesn't believe H is." Niall rolled his eyes as he scooted the glass towards me. "Anyway, Harry and Louis both do a lot of work behind the scenes for the family."
"Mostly me." Louis clarified. "Harry hasn't done shit in weeks."
Niall turned to look at Louis, "Which is why Millie has started taking over pieces Harry's work until he can get his shit together."
"Like that'll ever happen." Louis grumbled as Niall turned back to shovel another fork full of eggs onto his mouth.
I watched both Niall and Louis carefully, not sure of what to say in response to any of that. Nialls eyes moved from his plate, to look up at me again as I chewed on a piece of bacon.
"Is that too much?" He asked. "Don't want to overload you but I figured you'd like to start knowing some stuff about us."
I shook my head, "No it's not too much. I was just... processing."
Niall nodded adding, "We all have our own jobs. Things we're good at that the others aren't."
Well that's... interesting.
"What's your job?" I asked in genuine curiosity. "What are you good at that the others aren't?"
Niall cocked his head to me, giving me one of his signature smirks. "I get people to talk, darlin'."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm a great interrogator." He continued to smirk to me.
"An interrogator? Do I even want to ask?" I gulped, the air in the room feeling like it was starting to disappear the longer I sat here talking to him.
"An interrogator is a person who questions someone closely, aggressively, or formally." Niall said as he got up from where he sat to rinse off the plate in the sink.
"I know what an interrogator is." I rolled my eyes. "I was meaning I'm sure I don't want to know why you interrogate people."
"Probably not." Niall shrugged. "But I'm sure you could figure it out."
"Mm... I don't think I want to." I mumbled, as I took the last bite off of my plate.
"Bye!" I heard Liam call from the foyer.
I hadn't even realized that Liam, Louis and Millie had left the kitchen until I heard Liam calling from out there.
"Bye guys!" I called as I stood up from the stool.
"Bye fuckers!" Niall tried as he poured himself a glass of whiskey.
I turned towards the dishwasher and opened it to put my dirty dishes inside. After putting them in, I closed the lid and turned back to Niall who was heading towards the door.
"See ya later, darlin'. Stay outta trouble." He called over his shoulder as he walked out into the hallway towards the foyer.
"See ya." I muttered out into the now empty kitchen.
I headed towards the pantry and grabbed a water bottle before heading upstairs. My slippered feet taking each one of the stairs slowly as I headed up to the second floor.
Once I reached the top I turned left and walked down the hall to my bedroom door. The smooth tiled floor shining under the bright lights, somehow still had not even a speck of dust anywhere to be seen.
Once I got into my room I tossed the water bottle onto my bed and towards the bathroom door so that I could brush my teeth. I hate being around people in the mornings without brushing my teeth, but it's useless to brush them and then go downstairs and eat breakfast a few minutes later.
After I brushed my teeth I headed back out into my room, my eyes moving to the door leading out to the patio as I began to wonder if Harry was still out there. He said he'd be out there when I was done with breakfast but I'm not exactly sure if that was an invitation or him just letting me know.
But why would he just randomly say that?
I thought about it for a few more moments before I finally started to drag my feet across the floor towards the large glass door. I wrapped my fingers around it and started to pull it open slowly.
"This is going to end badly for everyone, Harry. This isn't just about you!"
I snapped my hand away from the door handle as soon as I heard Thalia speak from the patio.
"Yeah I get that Lia, I'm not a fucking idiot—"
"Then stop acting like one!" Thalia cut him off.
I heard Harry sigh before saying, "You don't know what you're talking about... You don't know what it's like."
"You're not the only one with problems, Harry. You forget I was there that night too."
"You really fucking think I could forget that?" Harry snapped, anger filling his voice. His sudden outburst caused me to flinched, but I remained as still as I could near the slightly opened door. "I couldn't forget that. I never could, you know that."
"Yeah— yeah, I know." Thalia sighed sounded a bit defeated, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
"Don't be sorry."
"Just don't miss breakfast again." She said as I I heard footsteps on the wooden patio.
"I won't." Harry murmured.
I then heard Harry's door slide open, Thalias footsteps disappearing as she walked inside.
What the hell were they talking about?
Was she really that upset about him skipping out on breakfast? And if she was, why? Why is it such a big deal to her that everyone has breakfast together in the morning?
"This is going to end badly for everyone, Harry. This isn't just about you!" She had said.
What's going to end badly? I had never heard Thalia sound upset other than when she had been talking to me about Conner my first morning here, and even then she had kept as calm as possible.
She seems to be the most calm of everyone and I'm assuming that has something to do with being the oldest. Niall had called Harry "little Styles" so that's a good indication that's she's at least older than Harry. So, even if she's younger than Louis or Liam, she's still the oldest sibling between her and Harry.
I know that Millie is nineteen... Harry and Niall are twenty two, but Niall's older.
I don't think that Liam is younger than them, but I doubt he's too much older. And I feel like Louis is definitely the oldest out of the guys. He seems much more mature than they do honestly. But still, he couldn't be more than just a few years older than them.
I slowly moved my hand back towards the door, gripping the curtain in between my fingers. I pulled the soft material back to reveal the porch and could see Harry as he sat with his back to me in one of the chairs, a fresh cigarette burning between his fingers. Jake laying at his feet, his fluffy head resting on the top of Harrys boot.
I slowly reached down towards the door handle, gripping it tight as I slid the door open. I stepped through the doorway, shutting it behind me as I looked over to Harry.
My feet slowly carried me over to him as I watched him lift his cigarette to his lips. His cheeks hollowed as he sucked the smoke into his lungs, his hand lowering back down to the armrest of the chair as he looked out to the forest in front of us.
I sat down on the chair next to him as he spoke, "Want one?"
"Hm?" I looked over to see him blowing out the rest of the smoke from his lungs. The dense cloud quickly thinning before it disappeared altogether into the brisk morning air.
"Do you want a cigarette?" He asked again.
"Sure." I nodded to him.
I watched as he put the cigarette back in between his lips, leaving it there as he raised his hips from the chair to fish his hand into the pocket of his jeans. He pulled out the pack of Marlboro Reds along with his black lighter and took his cigarette from his lips with his left hand.
I continued to watch him as he took one out and raised it to his mouth, setting it between his lips. He raised his lighter, flicking it so the flame burst to life near the end of the cigarette. He slowly moved the lighter to the end and he sucked in softly to cause it to light.
Once lit he dropped the lighter to his lap and took the cigarette from his lips, handing it to me. "Here."
I leaned over a bit and grabbed the now lit cigarette from him. I kicked off my slippers and pulled my knees to my chest as I took a slow drag.
"Thank you." I said to him after blowing out the smoke, my eyes still scanning the trees. "I love the forest..." I mumbled without thinking. "Makes me feel like I'm back home."
"In New York?" He questioned in obvious confusion.
"No." I said with a small laugh. "My aunt had a forest behind her house in Michigan. It's where I spent most of my time while I was there. I loved it."
He let out a hum of acknowledgment, but didn't say anything else. I looked over to him to see he was still looking out to the forest, the pack of cigarettes and the lighter still resting in his lap as he blew out another puff of smoke.
His brows were slightly knitted together, the morning sun starting to hit right where we were sitting. The light was making him glow with a soft radiance and his hair became a light brown under the intense sunlight.
"What?" He asked, looking over to me.
"I didn't say anything." I swallowed as I turned my head away from him.
"You didn't need to." He said taking another puff from his cigarette. "I can tell you're thinking about something when you look at me like that."
"I wasn't looking at you in any kind of way."
"Yeah you were." He quickly spoke. "You had your focus face on."
"I have no idea what you mean by that." I said with my eyes glancing over the tops of the trees.
The forest seemed to go on forever. As far as I looked I couldn't see a break from the dense green. It didn't bother me though. I still found peace in the forest. Even if I wasn't in it, sitting this close to it was enough to put my mind to ease.
"You scrunch up your eyebrows and look at me like you're trying to figure out a puzzle." Harry spoke to me. "You've done it since the day we met in the bread aisle."
"I have?" I asked a little shocked.
"Mhm..." He hummed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was doing that." I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I continued to keep my eyes on the forest.
I didn't dare look at him, especially not after he had just called me out for it.
"It's fine." He dismissed. "It was a bit annoying at first but I've gotten more used to it now. I didn't realize you had no idea you were doing it until yesterday."
"Yesterday?"
He hummed in agreement. "Realized you zone out when you do that. Get in your head about something." He paused as he took another hit from the cigarette. "Wasn't until I started telling you about all the things I could do for you that I saw you zone out like that again." My head snapped over to look at him as he spoke. "I could see you thinking about what I said. Could see you imagining what it'd be like without you having to do it yourself."
My cheeks began to burn hot as I pulled my eyes away from him, my body feeling like it was about to start sweating like there was a sudden spike in temperature outside.
"Aw come on... Don't tell me you're going shy now." He repeated his words from last night.
I swallowed harshly, "Didn't think you'd remember that."
"Why wouldn't I?" He questioned my.
"I don't know..." I shrugged. "I guess because you were drunk. I mean you even let me come into your room again and you don't let people do that."
"Guess I made an exception."
"Why?" I countered quickly. "Why'd you go get my eye mask for me— Why'd you even let me spend the night in the first place?"
"Didn't wanna be alone I guess."
"You guess?" I rolled my eyes even though I know he wouldn't see. "If you have to guess it doesn't count as a real answer."
"I wasn't aware we were still playing the game." Harry shot to me, referring to the game we were playing last night.
His words clearly made it known that he didn't want me asking anymore questions.
"We're not." I huffed before taking a hit of the cigarette.
He's so frustrating.
I know he was drunk last night, but the way he was actually talking to me and answering my questions felt good. It felt like we were making progress towards something.
"I've never been able to fall asleep again after having one of those dreams." Harry spoke suddenly pulling all of my attention back towards him. "But the other night when you stayed with me, I wasn't anxious. I wasn't thinking about the dream for once and I was able to fall asleep again."
I watched him intently, hanging to every word he spoke as he continued to stare out to the tree tops in his backyard.
"It's selfish of me to want you to sleep in there with me knowing that I could have one of those dreams and wake up from it... and not be in control." He mumbled the last part. "I've been drinking and getting fucked up for way longer than I should have. But I found that keeping drugs in my system was the only way to keep myself awake. I'd find a social setting where I could occasionally nap, or rest my eyes for a few minutes but I wouldn't let myself fully sleep until my body just sort of... gave out."
"You can't do that to yourself." I butted in unexpectedly causing Harrys eyes to move to mine. "I— I'm sorry." I stuttered. "It's not my place to tell you what to do, but I don't want you to hurt yourself by not sleeping. It's not good for you."
"I know that." Harry agreed. "That's why I asked you to stay with me last night."
"What?" I shook my head in confusion, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound dumb, but I don't understand."
He moved his eyes away from mine, looking back out to the endless wave of green in front of us. "You calmed me down that night and I was able to fall back to sleep. Something I've never been able to do." He began slowly. "So I tested it out last night. I wanted to see if I could actually sleep without having those dreams."
"And it worked?"
"Well I didn't wake up choking you again." Harry looked to me with a slight glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "I'm guessing it worked."
I let out a small laugh, "Is that why you've been nice to me yesterday and today? Because you've been sleeping?"
"No." He furrowed his brows at me. "I took you to breakfast two days ago and I didn't sleep until that night."
"Hm..." I pursed my lips, flicking the ash from my cigarette.
"I didn't take you for the kind to smoke cigarettes." He said in a sudden change of topics.
"You gave me one the other day." I reminded him.
"Yeah, I know. I didn't think you'd say yes though. I thought you'd be the kind to smoke one of those stupid fruity vape things that everyone has now." He said raising his now almost gone cigarette to his lips.
"Fruity vape things?" I said with amusement in my voice. "You do know that's not the actual name of them, right?"
"Obviously." He replied rolling his eyes.
"Well if you didn't think I'd want it, why'd you offer me one?"
"I can be nice when I want to be." He said with a smirk.
"Is that what you're doing then?" I asked stubbornly, even if I shouldn't have. "Forcing yourself to be nice to me?"
I'll admit, I may be the cause of some of our arguments. I'm prone to saying things even if I shouldn't.
At least I'm self aware...
"I don't force myself to do anything, tournesol."
There's that stupid word again.
"Then why are you being so nice to me?" I questioned more.
"I can stop if you'd like." He countered.
"No, I didn't say that." I shook my head quickly. "I just asked why."
"You know," He started before letting out a bitter laugh. "I'm a little confused. You're the one that was bitching that I wasn't talking enough, but now that I am talking, it's a problem? I don't understand you."
Here we go with the mood swings. It was good while it lasted I guess.
"I didn't say I had a problem with it." I clarified. "It was just a question."
"Don't you think you've asked enough questions?" He asked coldly.
"Don't you? You've asked just as many questions as I have, and way more personal ones might I add." I huffed as I put my legs down from the chair, sliding on my slippers and standing from where I had been sitting. "I'm done with this."
I walked a few steps towards the table and put the cigarette out inside of the ashtray. Without looking to Harry I walked back past the chairs and headed for the door leading into my bedroom.
"Don't go inside." I heard Harry say as I reached out for the handle.
"Why not?" I asked, turning around crossing my arms over my chest.
Harry was standing facing me now, only a few steps away from the railing with his burnt out cigarette no longer in his hands. His eyes glued to mine the second I turned around, his features softer than when I had walked away.
"Because I want to take you somewhere."
//
an:
hi!! i was halfway asleep editing this, so if there are mistakes i'm sorry !
but, anyway... double update today !!!
see you in an hour <3