TW: talk of addiction
There was a knock at my door followed by a soft, "Darlin', time to wake up."
I lifted the mask from my eyes, the harsh morning light filling my room causing me to squint as I tried to clear my foggy vision.
"Okay." I mumbled as an answer to Niall, pulling the mask from my head comply and setting it on the table beside me.
"Breakfast is ready, so go ahead and come down when you're ready." Niall said through the door before the sound of his footsteps started to recede down the hallway towards the stairs.
I pulled myself to sit upright in my bed, sighing as I rubbed my aching eyes. I had a headache from the lack of sleep I got and from crying last night, the throb in the back of my head made me want to curl up in a ball and hide under my covers for the rest of the day.
I groaned as I lifted myself from my bed, walking towards the chair in my room to retrieve Harrys hoodie to shield me from the cold air in the house. But as I reached for it I stopped, my fingers hovering over the soft material as I stared down to it. After a few more moments of contemplation I decided against wearing it.
Wearing his clothes is kind of the last thing I want to do right now.
Instead I just stayed in my tank top, my bare arms chilled against the cool air in my room. I turned and headed over to my dresser where I opened a drawer and pulled out a a pair of grey sweats to slip on over my shorts, and a pair of socks for my feet.
Why is it always so cold in this house?
I grabbed my hairbrush, running it through my matted hair a few times before I took my medicine and slid on my slippers to head towards my bedroom door.
Yawning, I walked down the hall while rubbing my tired eyes with the heel of my hand. It was well after three when I got to bed and like the last two mornings, it's about eight thirty so I'm still exhausted.
I walked down the hallway towards the stairs with thoughts of last night running through my head. Seeing Harry on the floor when I opened the bathroom door will forever be one of the scariest moments of my life. I can still feel the weight in my chest as my heart physically started hurting from seeing him in that state in front of me.
Regardless if he's an asshole or not, I never want to see anyone like that.
So, I guess that's the answer to my own question last night. I didn't mean what I said to him. I could never mean it.
If he were to be in that position again I would undoubtedly once again try to help him the best that I could. Even if it meant he would treat me like shit afterwards.
"What the fuck did he take last night?" I heard Niall ask as I turned down the hall towards the kitchen making me stop dead in my tracks. "I mean, he left Jake down here for christ sake, he never does that."
"I don't know..." Thalia answered him. "But he answered my call when I told him breakfast was ready so he's alright."
He's still alive.
I let a small smile of relief wash over my face at the mention of him being okay. I had been worried all night and kept trying to fight off my sleep to listen as intently as I could in my dark room for any signs of a noise coming from Harry. Finally sleep won me over, but when I woke up in the middle of the night I was worried I might have missed something, some small noise, and then I'd forever blame myself for it.
If something would have happened while I was asleep I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself for it.
"Look guys, I'm more than happy that he's okay as of now, but the problem is he's bound to fuck up sooner or later. He doesn't sleep and he hardly fucking eats. He's surviving off of lines of coke and whiskey— Which by the way, both of those intakes have become much higher within the last few months. " Millie spoke, a harshness in her voice that I had heard last night when she talked to the guy who had his hands on us at the party. "Thalia, I hate to say it but at the rate he's going there's going to be a morning that he won't be alive to answer your call."
"I'm aware of that, Millie." Thalia's sharp voice answered quickly. There was a beat of silence before her voice came out softer, "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that."
"It's okay, I know you didn't." Millie answered quietly.
I heard Thalia let out a sigh before responding with, "I just can't lose him, too."
Lose him too?
What does that mean?
No— Wait, it's none of my business. I shouldn't have even heard any of that. They don't know I'm standing here, so I need to stop eavesdropping on them.
I continued to walk, hoping they would hear my footsteps as I slid them against the floor intentionally. I took a few more steps entering the kitchen with Niall, Thalia and Millie all faced towards the door to watch me walk in.
"Hey, darlin', how'd you sleep?" Niall asked with a smile as Thalia turned back to the stove and Millie turned back in her seat to take a sip of whatever was in her cup.
"Like shit." I said with a laugh as I sat next to Niall.
He furrowed his brows, "Why's that?"
Because I found Harry on the bathroom floor last night.
"I don't know." I shrugged, "Just couldn't get to sleep."
"Morning." Millie leaned her head forward to give me a smile from the other side of her brother.
"Morning." I smiled back.
"You hungry?" I turned my head to Thalia who was now facing me from the stove.
I nodded my head eagerly. "Starving."
She smiled a bit, as she turned back to start piling food onto a plate from next to the stove.
"We're not eating here." I heard a voice from the doorway of the kitchen.
All of us turned our heads to see Harry leaning against the doorframe. He wore his usual black jeans with a matching hoodie and those stupid boots.
"What?" Thalia asked, setting the plate down a little roughly onto the countertop. "What do you mean you're not eating here? I make breakfast every morning. You know that."
Harry nodded, "I know. We can eat breakfast here tomorrow, but she and I have something to do." Then his eyes flashed to me with a nod of his head. "Let's go."
My eyes flicked over everyone in the kitchen, their faces matching mine. Confusion.
I don't want to go anywhere with him. I'd actually like to stay here and not be alone with Harry. Every time I'm alone with him it ends up being an unpleasant encounter and I am too physically and emotionally exhausted to deal with that.
But, nonetheless I don't have much of a choice. Do I?
"Where are we going?" I asked as I reluctantly started to stand from the stool I was sitting on next to Niall.
But of course, Harry didn't answer. Instead he turned and headed out of the kitchen to leave me silently wondering.
He really annoys the hell out of me.
What's so hard about answering a simple question? He's forcing me to go with him so he might as well just tell me where it is that he's taking me. It's not complicated.
"Where's he taking me?" I turned to look back at Niall, fear slightly evident in my voice.
His eyes flashed up to meet mine as he pull his head away from the doorway, "I have no idea..." He mumbled clearly just as confused as I was.
I pursed my lips as I stepped to the hallway, watching the back of Harry as he continued to walk down the hall. "He's not going to... kill me or anything, right?"
I heard a snickering laugh from Millie as I turned back to see her and Niall looking at me with smiles on their faces before Niall said, "No, he's not gonna kill you."
"If he wanted you dead, you would've been already." Thalia looked to me, her arms crossing over her chest as she leaned against the counter.
My brows dropped, throat going dry. "That didn't make me any less nervous."
Harry told me something along those same lines, so I'm assuming that to be true. It still doesn't help the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach though. The idea of him wanting someone dead and then it happening didn't really sit right with me. I mean, how could it?
With a deep breath I turned away from the three in the kitchen and stepped into the hall to follow behind Harry who was still walking away from me, obviously not caring if I was following him yet or not. He had made it passed the foyer and was now walking down the opposite hall.
"Good luck!" Millie called out from in the kitchen.
"Shut up!" I heard Thalia hiss to her.
"What?" Niall asked, "She's going out with Harry alone, she's gonna need it."
I followed Harrys steps into the foyer, then down another hallway directly in front of us, one I haven't been down yet. I walked all the way down the long hall, passing another hallway and a few different doors along the way. This house truly is like a maze.
At the very end Harry stood waiting for me, his body leaned against the wall while his head was raised to watch me. Once I caught up with him I watched as he lifted his right hand to scan his thumb on a black screen, a red light shifting to green as it granted him access and unlocked the door.
He swung the door open to reveal a large garage, then moved to the side holding the door open while motioning with his head for me to walk in first.
"Holy shit." I breathed out as I stepped into the garage with Harry closing the door behind us.
I spun in a slow circle to take in everything I was looking at. A Ferrari, a Porsche, a Jaguar, a Mercedez Benz, a Bentley, an Aston Martin, an Audi, one white Tesla and one black one and a black Range Rover were parked in the large garage.
10 cars.
10 very expensive cars were parked right in front of me.
"What?" He asked, heading towards a wall where all of the keys were hung up.
I slung my arms out towards all of the cars, "What do you mean, "wot"? I'm not used to seeing this!" I made sure to put on my best English accent to mock him.
Walking towards the Range Rover I could see him rolling his eyes. "They're just cars." He said as he unlocked the doors. "Hurry up." He ordered while opening up the drivers door to get in.
I took a few steps forward reaching out to the door handle of the car and gently pulled it to open. Instantly I was hit with a pleasant smell.
It smells like him. Pine and the sweetness of vanilla.
I stepped into the car and shut the door behind me, looking over to Harry. "Is this the same car from New York?"
He furrowed his brows to me like it was the worlds most stupid question. "No."
Alright then.
"Oh..." I mumbled, looking down to my hands folded in my lap.
As he started the car I took in a deep breath, my nerves starting to get the best of me as my mind ran wild around the possibilities of where we could be going.
"We have cars everywhere that we have a house." I looked up, shocked that he was elaborating more. "Most of them are here since we live here majority of the time." He explained as he reached up to his sun visor to press a button to make the garage door start to go up.
He lifted himself off the seat a bit to stuff his hand in his jeans pocket, fishing out his phone. We sat in silence for a few moments until the dinging sound of his phone connecting to the car rung through the speakers. He then started playing music, not loud, just enough to be heard in the background.
I was definitely surprised by his choice of music though.
The Chain, Fleetwood Mac.
He glanced over to me with furrowed brows as he began pulling out of the garage. "Uh, it's on shuffle..." He said, sounding almost nervous as he spoke.
"It's okay." I gave him a smile. "I love Stevie."
"Really?" He quickly glanced at me again before he looked out to the small road he had began to drive on, his hand moving down to the drink holder to snatch up his black sunglasses.
"Yeah, of course!" I scoffed, "Who doesn't?"
"Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise. Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies."
I looked out the windshield, my eyes taking in everything that I could as we drove down the insanely long driveway. I haven't been out of the house since I got here and even when we did get here, I was in the RV so I didn't get to see anything.
The driveway was extremely long and covered with trees making it look like we were driving down a deserted road. The trees canopied over to form a tunnel, the morning light dancing between the leaves as the sun rose higher in the sky. It was so pretty.
"My mum loved Stevie." Harry's voice caught my attention. "Grew up listening to her along with every other 70s and 80s artist there is."
I nodded my head, "80's music is great! David Bowie, Bon Jovi, Reo Speedwagon, Michael Jackson, Blondie, Pat Benatar..." I trailed off on my rant to look over at him. "I didn't really take you as the type to like old music.
He looked offended as he furrowed his brows to me. "It's the best music era."
"And if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain."
"I agree." I smiled as I looked back out to the road. "I love the movies from that time too. Dirty Dancing, the Outsiders, Beetlejuice– The Breakfast Club! That one is one of my all time favorites."
Harry shook his head mumbling out, "Full of surprises, Tournesol."
My head snapped over to him as I heard him say the same thing he had muttered last night.
"Turner— What?" I asked, confused. "What does that mean?"
He shrugged. "Dunno." He murmured with a coy smirk as he started to roll his window down.
We had approached a large black gate with some kind of panel outside of his window, I'm assuming a sort of passcode type thing like he has used to get into the garage.
"You said it last night, too." I pointed out.
He nodded. "Yeah, I know." He stuck his hand out of the open window to tap in a few numbers to the panel then scanned his thumb on the screen.
"So then you do know what it means." I squinted my eyes at him trying to ignore the fact that I was now realizing just how trapped inside of the house I truly was.
Even if I made a break for it one day, how was I ever supposed to get passed the gate and all of the codes?
A small dry laugh left his lips, "Of course I know what it means."
"It's not English." I stated, cocking my head to the side. "Is it?"
"No." He shook his head as he drove through the gate and started to turn down a different street, rolling his window up. "It's French." He said, resting his left elbow on the car door as his fingers came up to play with his bottom lip.
"Y-you speak French?" I stuttered over my words, having to pull my eyes away from him so I didn't make a complete fool of myself by staring at him.
"Oui, je parle Français." He smirked as I looked back to him with a slacked jaw.
"I have no idea what you said." I admitted with a smile. "How did you even learn to speak a different language?"
I know it's a strange thought, but I like this. I like how he's being right now. I know that it won't last long and soon we'll go back to how we usually are... but right now he's actually talking to me, answering my questions and not acting like a complete dick.
This is a version of him that I could actually stand to be around.
"My mum taught me." He said, catching me completely off guard. "Taught me a few different ones actually."
That's the second time he's mentioned his mom since we've been in the car. Each time making me think of last night when he opened his eyes and said, "mum" in the bathroom.
My growing suspicion was reaching a peak level and I was finding it harder and harder to fight it off. I don't want to ruin the decent mood, but sometimes I just don't know how to stop myself.
I swallowed, regretting what I was about to ask before it was even done. I know it'll probably ruin what we have going on right now but I need to ask. "Harry... do you remember what you said to me when you opened your eyes last night?"
There was a silence that fell between us, the only sound coming from the car speakers as Somebody to Love by Queen played as background noise.
I turned my head away from him and stared down at my hands in my lap. My fingers nervously began to pick at the chipped polish as I waited for an answer of any kind from him.
"Yeah." He stated after nearly a minute of silence. "I remember."
I don't want to push, but I really want to know... Damn me and desperate need to over evaluate everything.
"Why did you think I was your mom?"
He tapped his index finger on his lips as he stared out of the windshield. "She's dead."
Well that wasn't a response that I was expecting.
I cocked my head back in shock, my heart dropping. "I-I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"It was a long time ago." He said as if that made it any better.
I swallowed, "I'm still sorry."
He looked over to me briefly before turning his attention back to the road while nodding his head.
"Can I ask something else?" I timidly voiced.
"Is it your question for the day?" He raised his brows glancing to me briefly. "You've been asking a lot of free ones already."
I thought for a moment weighing out if it was worth it or not. He's being pretty open right now and is letting me bombard him with questions, so maybe he'll let another few slip in throughout the day. But on the other hand this question could piss him off and make him shut down completely...
But regardless I still felt an overwhelming need to ask.
"Yes." I agreed. "It's my question for the day."
"What is it then?"
I pursed my lips thinking for a moment on how I could possibly word this to make it not sound rude. "If your mom is..."
"Dead." He finished for me.
"Yeah..." I mumbled. "Then why did you think I was her?"
He adjusted himself in his seat, letting out a sigh after I asked.
Shit shit shit. He's mad. He's probably about to yell at me.
I quickly turned my attention away from him and out towards the road we were driving on. I knew I'd be pushing it by asking that question, but my curiosity was too much for me to handle.
I really need to learn how to shut up.
"She had dark hair like yours and I couldn't see much. Just the outline of you. The light was blocking everything else, kinda had a glow behind you." He started, his voice seemingly distant as he thought about it.
My eyes shifted to the side, my brows pinching together as I pondered over what he had said. It still didn't make any sense to me as to why he'd think that I was his mom if she was— Oh.
The cold realization of it hit me like a brick straight to the gut. My head shifted to the side and my eyes met the side of Harry's face as he stared out at the deserted darkly paved road we drove down.
He thought he died last night.
I cleared my throat, my brain looking for anyway that I could find to shift the conversation in a different direction. "But then you called me, Tur- That french word." I can't remember how to say it for the life of me. "If you thought I was—?"
"Uh uh." Harry raised his hand and shook a finger with a smirk, a playful exterior showing and catching me by surprise. "You already used up your question."
My eyes widened at the mood he was in. Saying that I was surprised would be an understatement. It felt more like I was still asleep and was dreaming. It was impossible for my mind to believe that this was the same Harry that I now lived with.
I sat back in my seat to face forward to watch the trees pass as he drove down the street. There was a comfortable silence that fell between us, my state of mind no longer heavy knowing that Harry wasn't upset with me. Though, my chest still felt heavy at the thought of him thinking he had died.
I just couldn't shake that out of my mind.
We sat quietly in his car and let the songs play as we drove to where ever the hell it was that he was taking me, the passing trees green blurs out of the passenger window.
My head titled to rest against the window, my eyes cast up to stare out at the forest surrounding us. I have always found so much peace within the trees. When I was living at Stacy's I would sit in the forest for hours drawing, or even sometimes just doing nothing at all. I always found a beautiful tranquility within the trees and dreamed of living somewhere deep within them when I was older.
So now being surrounded by them all the time was almost a dream come true.
Almost.
"Fuck..." Harry muttered suddenly, reaching out to press the skip button on the screen displaying the song.
Tennessee Whiskey, Chris Stapleton
"No way!" I pushed his arm away, earning a glare from him. I immediately retracted my hand and pulled it back into my lap shocked by my own outburst. "I mean... It's a good song. I like it."
Harry rolled his eyes, shaking his head subtly while looking out the window ahead of him. "Whatever."
Suddenly, without thinking, I blurted, "You should sing it."
Shut up, Rori.
"What?" He glanced over to me with confusion written on his face.
"Sorry." I laughed at myself in embarrassment. I put my head down into my hands shaking it slightly. "I heard you sing the other day with the guys. I don't know why I said that."
My lack of sleep is clearly making me delusional.
"So you... wanted me to sing?" He flashed me a look before turning his head back to look towards the road, a pink color rising on his cheeks.
There's no way he's embarrassed right now.
"Yeah." I nodded, "You were really good and— I don't know, I wasn't thinking." I peaked a look over at him, his bottom lip between his teeth as he chewed on it. "Promise I wouldn't tell anyone if you did though." I added, the pink color deepening in his cheeks.
I turned my focus back forward, a smile trying to force its way onto my lips as I avoided looking at Harry.
"Okay..." He mumbled slowly. "Swear I'm only agreeing to this because I'm still high off those fuckin' drugs." He stole a look over at me. "And I swear to god I'll kill you if you tell anyone I did this."
Okay, the death threat was terrifying. Definitely unnecessary.
"I won't tell anyone." I confirmed again.
I could see him swallow, his eyes darting to look at me from the corners of his eyes as he reached over to restart the song, turning the volume up a bit as well.
"Used to spend my nights out in a barroom. Liquor was the only love I've known." He stared straight ahead as he lowly started to sing to the music, his voice barely audible over the music coming through the speakers.
He wasn't joking, he really must still be high. No way he ever would have agreed to this otherwise.
"But you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom, and brought me back from being too far gone." The pink flush was back in his cheeks as he continued.
I didn't even care that I was starting at this point. I'm sure my eyes were bulging out of my head, but if anyone else was hearing this I'm sure they'd be staring too.
"You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey. You're as sweet as strawberry wine. You're as warm as a glass of brandy. And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time." He cleared his throat, turning the knob to lower the volume. "That's enough."
He scrunched his nose with his finger as he stole a quick glance over to me. I couldn't help but smile.
"I'm not doing that again..." He muttered.
With a deepened smile I blurted out, "You sound amazing."
He bit his lower lip while staring out the windshield. "Shut up." He shook his head, fighting the smile that was trying to play on his lips.
He was fighting a smile.
There's no fucking way.
But sure enough, I could see the corners of his lips twitching as he focused on the road, his index finger resting along his lips to try and hide it.
When I felt the car start to slow down I turned my attention back to look forward, Harry going left and pulling into a small parking lot that had a large sign reading, Josie's.
It looks like it's a small diner. There were only a few cars in the lot, none of them as new or nice as Harrys.
I continued to look around as Harry pulled into a parking space near the front. The building was white and black with accents of red, a homey feel coming from it upon first glance.
Harry put the car in park, then leaned back in his seat while looking over to me. I met his eyes, my stomach feeling jittery as he lowered his brows at me.
"We're getting breakfast." He stated a bit abruptly.
"Okay?" It came out as a question to show my confusion.
"But I don't trust you." He said bluntly as he leaned forward to open the glove compartment in front of me.
"I don't trust you eith—What the fuck?!" I screeched, flattening myself back against the seat of the car as far as I could.
I wave of horror flashed through me, my body freezing as Harry pulled a gun out. He pushed the compartment shut again, gun in hand and leaned back into his seat.
"Fucking hell!" He dropped the gun down to his lap and lifted his hand to rub his ear with a piercing look towards me. "Chill out would you? Didn't plan on shooting you right now, but I might change my mind if you do that again."
There he is.
"I-I'm sure you will." I stuttered as I continued to look at the gun resting on his thigh.
My eyes were locked on the black steel resting on his thigh, a gut wrenching fear consuming me. I've never been this close to a gun before— At least, not knowingly.
He literally pulled that out right in front of my face. It was less than a foot away from me the entire car ride and I had absolutely no idea.
"Quit staring baby, gonna think you're looking at something else if you keep that up."
My eyes flicked up to meet Harry's, a smirk covering his lips as he leaned back against his seat, lifting his arm to rest it on the window sill again.
My eyes shot wide, my cheeks burning red from his words. I was looking at the gun, not... that.
Change the topic, Rori.
"Why would you bring me here if you plan on shooting me?" I asked in a low whisper.
"I don't plan on shooting you." Harry corrected, "It's just a precaution to make sure you don't do something stupid." He finished as he leaned forward in his seat to tuck the gun in the back waistband of his jeans.
"Something stupid?" I asked quietly as I looked back up to meet his eyes.
He nodded, "Yeah, like trying to make a scene or something. Because reality is, it doesn't matter if you make a scene or not. You're coming back to the house with me after breakfast."
"Why would I make a scene?" I furrowed my brows as I asked the question. "You have my phone, my wallet, basically everything I own... I'd be stupid to do something here."
Besides, like I've thought a million times now, if somehow all of this is true and they really are protecting me I can't risk Chloe getting hurt because of me making a stupid decision.
Harry shrugged as he opened his door, "Like I said, I don't trust you. This is just my way of making sure you don't do something you'll regret."
Trust issues? Check.
Unnatural need for control over every situation? Check.
"Lets go."
My shaky hand reached for the door handle, quickly opening it and listening to his instructions in an attempt to try and do everything I can to not piss him off while he has a gun in his jeans.
While I got out of the car Harry ducked into the backseat momentarily before coming back out and slamming the door shut. He walked around the front of the car to where I was standing and gave me a black hoodie just like the one I already had of his in my room. He didn't say anything as I took it from him, he just turned and started walking towards the diner.
I hadn't asked for one, but I was grateful for it given the fact that I was wearing a mid rise tank top. I pulled the hoodie over my head to and followed closely behind Harry as he headed towards the front door of the diner. My eyes flashed up to once again read, Josie's, written in black letters across the white sign.
A bell ringing caught my attention as Harry opened the door and I flashed my eyes down to see him holding the door open, nodding for me to go ahead and go in front of him. I looked away from him quickly and stepped into the diner, instantly being hit with the smell of food.
I'm so hungry.
"Harry!" I heard a cheery voice call out as soon as the door had shut behind us.
I looked up to see an older woman shuffling towards Harry with a huge smile on her lips. Her straight grey hair was shorter than Harrys, but still styled perfectly into place. Her dark brown eyes shined in happiness, popping from behind her perfectly applied makeup.
"Where have you been?" The lady wrapped her arms around Harrys neck, forcing him to crouch down a bit.
He stifled out a short forced sounding laugh as he reached up with one hand to pat her back a bit awkwardly. "Hey, Jo." He greeted. "Been away on business." His eyes flashed to meet mine as he spoke.
"Business... You're only twenty two, Harry. You shouldn't have to go away on business and come back looking like this." She motioned to the bruises on his faces before pulling her hand back with a sigh.
"This was from a party last night." Harry motioned up to his face. "
The woman squinted her eyes at him, her expression showing that she wasn't really believing him. "I'm just glad you're back, sweetie." She expertly changed the topic before giving him a smile. Then her eyes shifted and turned to face me. "Hi there." She continued to give me a warm smile as she spoke.
"Hi." I returned the smile.
"I'm Josie." She introduced herself.
"Rori." I gave her another smile.
"Pretty little thing." She scanned my face before looking down to my sweats and slippers. "Harry must've pulled you here straight from bed." She said with a bit of a laugh, her eyes hovering on my slippers for a few moments longer until she finally looked up to meet my eyes again. "He's never brought a girl here before. I've only met his sister because she came in on her own with some Irish folks." She gave me another smile before turning to grab two menus from the podium behind her. "Usual booth?" She asked looking at Harry once again.
"Yes." He nodded, both of us turning to follow her towards a secluded corner booth.
The diner was larger inside than I had originally thought it would be. From the outside it looked really small, but once walking in I realized it was actually quite spacious.
Josie stopped and put the menus down onto the table while Harry took a seat against the wall of the diner.
"Thank you." I said to Josie as I slid into the booth across from Harry, my back towards the entrance of the diner.
"I'll get you what Harry usually starts with." She raised her eyebrows to me, "Best way to start off the mornings in my opinion. He's got me hooked on it."
I gave Harry a questioning look while smiling but he only shrugged with a coy look as he glanced down to the menu. Josie gave one last smile before she turned and headed back towards the kitchen where she disappeared behind the wall leaving Harry and I alone once again.
I looked up to see Harry scanning over the menu, his hands down in his lap while his eyes flicked over the many different things on the pages.
During that whole interaction I almost forgot he had a gun.
"You're not gonna be ready to order when Jo gets back if you don't look at the menu." Harrys eyes shifted up to meet mine.
I cleared my throat awkwardly, looking down to my menu once more. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn with a flush but I fought off the embarrassment and tried to focus on the menu.
I scanned over a few things trying to quickly make a choice, but everything looks so good. Plus with how hungry I am everything sounds amazing.
"Alright, here we go." Josie's sweet voice sounded as she stepped towards our table a few minutes later with two strawberry milkshakes in her hands. "Know what you want, sweetie?" Her eyes moving to meet mine.
"No, I'm sorry." I shook my head, "Everything sounds good."
"Everything is good." Harry chimed in, causing me to look up at him.
"Oh, please." Josie waved a dismissive hand at him. "You've eaten the same thing every time you've come here for the last four years."
"What do you get?" I asked.
If he's got it every time for four years, it must be good.
He pulled his lips up into a line, his eyes flashing down to the menu as he said, "Tacos."
"I didn't see breakfast tacos on here..." I looked back down to the menu to try and find them.
"Right here, sweetie." Josie reached out to point at the space where the tacos were. "Every time he comes in it's for the regular tacos. Some times he's here four times a week and he still get the same thing, every time."
"Four times in a week?" I questioned Harry.
"Yeah." He nodded, with a bit of a flush. "They're good."
I find it weird that he would come here four times a week if Thalia makes food for every meal. When would he ever have the chance to be hungry enough to come here?
I pursed my lips as I tried to push the thought away. "Regular tacos... for breakfast?"
"Everytime." Josie said with a laugh. "I don't even open that part of my grill until eleven but for Harry I make an exception."
I looked over to Harry who sat with his lips tightly shut together as his eyes locked onto the strawberry shake in front of him.
"Well, if it was lunch time I'd try them but—"
Josie scoffed putting her notepad away, "You're with Harry. If that's what you want, then that's what you're gonna get."
"Are you sure? I don't wanna cause a prob—" I tried to ask, my eyes looking back to Harry who was now looking up at Josie, but Josie was quick to cut me off.
"I own this place. If any of those cooks back there have a problem with it, they can take it up with me."
Alright then.
"Okay." I laughed, feeling a bit more at ease. "I guess I'm getting tacos then."
Josie laughted as she grabbed ahold of both of our menus, her eyes flashing towards Harry. "I don't know why I even give you this thing anymore." She shook her head as she pulled the menu away from where it sat in front of Harry.
"Thanks, Jo." Harry gave her a small tightlipped obvious forced smile.
After Josie left Harry reached up to grab a straw from off of the table. He unwrapped it and placed it into the milkshake, pulling the glass to him and taking a big drink of it. I'm not going to lie, the milkshake actually looks really good. There was whipped cream with a cherry on top and a fresh strawberry placed on the rim.
I grabbed the other straw, taking it from the wrapper and put it into the shake. I brought the glass closer to me and took a drink, then another instantly after, humming in satisfaction.
"That's so good." I managed to say, my eyes closing as I took another gulp of the shake.
"Mhm." I heard Harry hum.
Opening my eyes I saw he had a mouthful of shake too. His eyes met mine as we both pulled away from the shakes we were drinking, my skin prickling at the eye contact.
Full of surprises.
I remember he said that to me in the RV and again when we were in the car driving here. After this morning though, I could honestly say the same thing about him.
He doesn't talk. He's so closed off and angry with the world, lashing out at anyone that he can to try and bring a sense of power to his own life. He drinks and does drugs, taking enough that he passes out on the bathroom floor and thinks he's literally dead.
He hurts the ones who care about him like Thalia, Niall and Millie. I heard them talking this morning and I know that if they knew what happened last night they'd know that what Millie said is true. He could have died last night on the bathroom floor and no one would have known until this morning.
I'm just glad I got in there and knew what to do to try and help him. I feel lucky knowing that the research I had done on overdoses in high school proved to be useful one day. I'm not trying to say that I saved his life because I don't think I did, I think he pulled himself out of it. But I am saying that I've seen addiction and I know how slippery that slope can be.
Once you reach a certain point, you can't go back. And I'd hate to see him hurt his friends or himself even worse than he already has because of this.
I'm still terrified of him and I don't think that will ever change, but the person he has been today isn't the same one that's been talking to me and threatening me these last few days.
It's like he's done a complete 180 today.
He talked to me about last night, told me his mom died a long time ago and brought me out to breakfast. Regardless if he has a gun in the waist of his jeans to ensure that I don't "cause a scene", he still got me out of the house. Which if I'm being honest, I didn't think I'd ever get out of that house with how Niall and Thalia have been talking.
"What?"
I blinked my eyes to refocus them, realizing I was completely zoned out while looking at Harry.
"Oh—" I shifted my eyes down, looking to the table in front of me. "Sorry. I was just thinking."
"About what?" He asked.
I looked up to him again in confusion, Harrys eyes meeting mine. I wasn't expecting him to ask me what I was thinking about, he usually never cares about things like that.
"Just... about this I guess." I spoke quietly. "Being here at the diner. I'm just happy I was able to get out of the house."
"Mm..." He hummed.
I brought my hands up to the table and started fumbling with my fingers, picking at the nail polish again.
I could feel Harrys eyes on me but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. My mind was a complete whirlwind right now and I didn't want to risk zoning out while looking at him again.
It's really embarrassing when he catches me looking at him.
"Here we go!" I heard Josie's voice as she approached us a few minutes later.
I had managed to keep my eyes down the rest of the time as we waited for our food. My focus was solely on my hands and my milkshake the entire time.
"This looks great!" I finally raised my eyes up to Josie as she placed our plates down in front of us.
"Thank you, sweetie." She placed her hand on my shoulder while turning her head to look over to Harry. "You better keep her around Harry, she's a sweet girl."
Harry moved his eyes from Josies to look at me while he pursed his lips. "It looks great, Jo." His eyes moved back to hers. "Thanks."
When Josie left us to eat I could feel how hungry I truly was. My stomach was knotted in discomfort, a rumbling coursing through it. The tacos actually looked so good, even if it wasn't lunch time. They weren't hard shells that you buy in the store, they were the good soft tortillas.
The meat was inside of the tortillas with with diced tomatoes, onions, fresh cilantro and a bit of shredded cheese on the side.
A strawberry shake and tacos for breakfast.
I laughed to myself, smiling at the thought as I lifted one of the tacos up to my mouth.
"What's funny?" Harry asked, causing me to look up at him, disappointment running through me as he had distracted right before I took my first bite.
I shrugged, my hand lowering to put the taco back onto the plate in front of me. "It's nine in the morning and we're eating tacos and drinking a strawberry shake in a diner... After these last few days it's funny to me that this is what I find to be the strangest thing that's happened."
"What do you mean?" He furrowed his brows at me, his hands still underneath the table.
"I mean, you literally have a gun in your jeans right now." He raised his brows while I continued. "Everything that happened last night, the amount of drugs I've seen in the last week and traveling across the country in an RV to live in a house with people I don't know... Yet having tacos and a strawberry shake for breakfast is what I'm finding weird."
"It's not weird." He protested while raising his hands up to the table and grabbing a taco into his hand. "It's good."
"Didn't say it wasn't." I smiled looking down to the tacos as my stomach growled again.
I'm about to destroy these tacos.
//
an:
in honor of the late night taking music video dropping today i decided to edit this chapter & post it early. i'll still be updating friday though!!
how's everyone feeling about this chapter? sorry if it was insanely boring! i know it's slow, but it was necessary. more exciting chapters coming next, promise!!
also, harry wasn't too bad, was he?
maybe he's just still high from the night before. unless... no, he's probably still high.