The next day...
I am still dwelling on the conversation I had with Josh yesterday. It's really made me overthink, and think about the what if's. I know I shouldn't do that because I'm literally engaged, but all of this shit has happened over one stupid decision he made.
Not that I regret anything that happened, and I definitely don't regret being with James. But it's just annoying how one stupid decision changed everything.
Maybe it happened for the better.
I am sitting on the couch, deep in thought when James comes home from training. He's smiling, and I smile back at him.
"Hey gorgeous." He says walking over to me and leaning in to place a kiss on my lips and I smile.
"Hey handsome." I say
"Handsome? That's a new one."
"Well, it's a bit hard to come up with words to describe how good looking a guy is."
"I guess so. Well, I love when you call me gorgeous."
"I would've used it, but you know I don't like copying."
"I know that very well." He says sitting down next to me and exhaling.
"How was training?"
"Good. Mitchell worked us hard today."
"As he should." I say looking him up and down. "I can see the muscles a popping, did you boys have a gym sesh?"
"Of course. It was part of our program today."
"Cools. Did you guys do like a circuit?"
"Something like that."
"Love those!" I say and he chuckles.
We then sit there in silence for a bit. Not awkward silence but I direct my attention to the Tv, where my thoughts about Josh come back and all the what if's.
James pulls me into his arms, and plays with my hair, but I hardly notice as my mind is going round and round in circles.
"Hey. Is everything okay?" James asks and I snap out of my daydream and nod.
"Yeah of course it is."
"You sure? You seem deep in thought."
"I'm sure." I say looking at him and smiling and he frowns.
"Tahls. I know very well when something is bothering you. So come on tell me, you know I am the last person to judge you."
"Okay fine." I say giving in. "But just don't get mad."
"As long as you didn't cheat there's nothing for me to get mad about... unless you did cheat."
"Really?" I say. "You think that low of me?"
"No!" He says. "Definitely not."
"Good." I say and he smiles.
"Tell me what's bothering you bubs." He says and I sigh.
"So yesterday at work, I was just sitting in my office doing work, when Josh comes in."
"Which Josh?"
"Dunkley." I say and James nods, I can see his jaw clench at the mention of his name.
"What did he want?" James asks sweetly.
"Well, he basically spoke about how we're engaged." I start to explain. "And now he's regretting his choices."
"Of what being with Tippah?"
"No, of choosing his ex over me back in Noosa." I sigh. "He was pretty jealous."
"Good, the prick deserves it."
"Then we kind of got into an argument, about what happened back in Noosa, and he told me he loved me, and still loves me and that he knows what he did is wrong. Basically all the same shit I've heard before. He also included how he wish it was him that I was marrying and not you. And I asked him why he was telling me this now, and why he didn't say everything earlier, like back in Noosa when I most likely would've gotten back together with him. It's not like he cheated, he just broke my heart by breaking up with me. Not defending what he did or anything.." I say and James nods. I know he's trying his hardest not to get mad at what I'm telling him.
"But long story short, we ended up working everything out and I said that I will try to forgive him because I'm not gonna lie here James, I do miss my friendship with him." I say and James nods, then sighs.
"He's really trying everything to get you to change your mind isn't he?" James asks and I shrug.
"Who knows. But if he said those things before we started seeing each other or dating, maybe just maybe I would've gone back. I know what I'm like, I give in too easily."
"I should know." James smirks and I punch him lightly.
"But I do understand that you miss your friendship with him, and if you want to get that back, I'm not going to stop you. I just think maybe us getting married has put things into perspective for Josh, and shows how badly he fucked up. Because why would he wait until now to tell you all this shit?"
"Exactly."
"He still loves me, I know. And I kind of feel guilty because I don't love him back, not in that way anyway, but he got what he deserved."
"He did. Although I understand why you would've gone back, not like the bloke cheated on your or anything."
"Exactly. He just made a stupid decision, that changed all of our lives forever."
"I'd say for the better too."
"Maybe." I joke and James looks at me.
"Maybe? Really?"
"Nah, definitely did change it for the better." I smile. "Cause then I wouldn't be sitting here with you on the couch."
"You wouldn't. You'd be sitting on his couch." He says clenching his jaw. "Just thinking about it makes me sick."
"So then don't think about it. You have me here, and I'm not going anywhere."
"I know you're not." He says and I smile.
"Good. Anyway, enough about him." I say and he smiles.
"So what's the date looking like for the wedding?" I ask and he shrugs.
"I don't care when it is, as long as it's before round one."
"That's what we're aiming for." I say. "The wedding planner has everything under control and is now looking for a venue for late February."
"Oh wow that's good." James says and I smile.
"Yep. She said she'll get back to me though."
"What's the venue?"
"Meadowbank estate."
"Whereabouts is that?"
"Broadmeadows." I say and James laughs.
"In Broady? Is it even nice?"
"It's probably the nicest thing in Broady."
"Nah, you've gotta be joking." He says and I shake my head.
"I'm not! Here, I'll show you." I say grabbing out my phone and googling the place.
I press on the website and hand my phone to James, who spends a couple of minutes exploring the site.
He looks at me and raises his eyebrows.
"I'm shocked there's something like this in broady."
"Yeah, I was too when she mentioned it to me."
"Well, hopefully she can get a booking." James says pressing his lips to the side of my face and I smile.
"Fingers crossed!" I say and he smiles.
"I should probably go have a shower." He says and I nod.
"Yeah, you probably should." I say and he smiles.
"It would be better if you were to join me though."
"I might pass on that."
"Why?" He pouts
"I don't really feel like jumping in the shower. I washed my hair yesterday."
"Alright fine." He says pouting again and I chuckle.
"You're like a little kid with your pouting."
"Joining me in the shower will be a perfect time to actually create a mini version of us." He jokes and my mouth drops.
"JAMES." I yell and he laughs.
"What?" He smirks and I shake my head.
"Let's get married first hey? One step at a time."
"Aye aye captain." He says with a smirk and I roll my eyes.
"The offer still stands though." He yells from upstairs and I laugh.
"Just have your goddamn shower." I yell back and I hear him laugh.
I love this boy so much but he drives me insane...
***
Bit of a shorter one tonight haha!
And definitely an interesting end to the conversation 😳
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