Current Editing Update : September 2nd, 2018.
Just a lil note, I'm trying to keep the chapters te same as they were before, I'm just adding more details and information, making it a better read. So if things don't really make sense (like all the chapters leading up to just this one) I'm super sorry, because honestly back when I was writing this, I didn't have a plot. I just write what came to mind, which is why when I look back at it I loose brain cells HAHA, anywho, I'm back and better than ever with writing. So enjoy xox!
Three months has passed since my first day of chemo. Mark and I are still going strong. We don't ever really get to talk a lot, he's gone on trips, collaborating with other huge youtubers, or going to interventions, and other super important things. Well speak of the devil himself,
"Hey babe, I'm home!" Mark called from the bottom of the stairs. I hurried off my bed and down the stairs to where my lovely boyfriend was, waiting with open arms.
I oh-so-thankfully placed myself in his arms, the place where I felt most safe. He pulled me out of his embrace and pecked me on the lips.
"I missed you." I said snuggling back into his chest again, not sure if he heard me or not.
"I missed you too." I felt his smile against my head, which caused me to smile too.
"Oh!" I said, pulling away from the warmth and leading him into the kitchen. "A women called for you, said you two were supposed to meet up for lunch or something?" I asked, whilst taking a loaf of break out from the refrigerator.
"I don't remember making plans with anybody else besides you." He said scrunching his face up. "Did you catch a name?"
"No, before I had a chance to ask she said she had to go." I looked up at him, face now relaxed. "Maybe it's best if you didn't go, because I did get an address and what not."
"Yeah, you're right. I would remember if it was important." He smiled his goofy smile. I handed him his well done sandwich, as I took a huge bite out of mine.
"I suppose I should go make a video, this is the last one I have to do before I'm all caught up to date with uploading!" He said cheerfully. It makes me happy, to know that he's happy, and that there's so many people out there who love and support thing wonderful human being. He deserves it.
"Is there something on my face?" Mark asked, looking at me, dead serious. I didn't realize I was staring at him the whole time, with a huge smile on my face.
"No, I'm just lucky to have you, that's all." I said, smiling even bigger. He walked over and kissed me on the cheek.
"You're the lucky one?" He asked, winking, and then walking away to his game room.
Twenty minutes or so passed since Mark went to record. That's when I heard him call out my name.
"Yo," I said as I popped my head in through the crack of the door.
"Come here." he smiled oddly.
"No you're gonna tickle me." I teasingly said.
"Not true, come here." he chuckled, patting the computer chair next to him.
"Mmm, fine. But I swear to god Mark if you put one finger on me, I'm running." I sighed, looking at him wide eyed, just to prove I'm serious.
He fell into a fit of laughter. "I swear, I won't." I finally reached where I was supposed to sit, and saw that Mark was still indeed recording.
"So, here she is. What do ya think of her?" Mark said, turning his head towards me, smiling.
I gave him a confusing look. Which he noticed.
"This is my girl, (y/n)." She's pretty great, I must say." His eyes twinkle when he says so.
"Hey guys," I waved. "Mark is pretty great too." I winked and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna go to the kitchen and start up dinner now." I said quietly, waved goodbye, and left the room, giving him his privacy.
I sat at the island in Marks kitchen, thinking. My last round of chemo is in three days, and even though I still feel terrible, I try to not let anyone see, especially not Mark. I don't want him to see how weak I am. I don't want to be babied. I haven't seen (bf/bn) since the incident 3 months ago, the night that Mark accidentally found out about my cancer.
That night still gives me nightmares. It's the night I finally admitted to myself that all I do is run from my problems, when I once again, ran from a major problem.
Mark and I started dating not long after we met. And I know that's usually not a good thing, because you probably don't know everything about the person. But we're different, it doesn't feel like we rushed anything. It feels like we've been together forever, almost as if we were meant to fit each other.
I know we've been judged upon the fact that we actually got together so quickly.
~•~
Marks POV
I finished up my video, and chose to save the editing for tonight.
I pulled my headphones off of my head and laid them onto the computer desk.
I rubbed my eyes and stood up, deciding I probably should go see if (y/n) needs any help with dinner.
I opened the door that separated my recording room from the hall, and made my way to the kitchen.
I never smelt anything, or saw any lights on. Which concerned me a little on where (y/n) could possibly be too.
That's when I seen her, asleep on the black chairs placed at my island. Her head was placed in her hands, as she quietly snored, her (h/c) hair surrounding her beautifully beautiful face.
She looked too peaceful to move, but I couldn't have her stay there, only because I don't know how long she was there for.
I slowly made my way over to this delicate human, placing one hand under her knees and another hand around her back.
Once she was lifted into my arms, her head tilted back just a little ways, which revealed a tear, running quickly down her cheek.
I placed her onto the sofa and wiped the water from her cheek. Why was she crying? What was she dreaming about that hurt her enough to cry in her sleep?
I placed a red fuzzy blanket onto her, and left to go back to the kitchen, to cook up a little something for my angel and I.
~•~
I wasn't cooking for a long time until I heard (y/n) start stirring on the couch. I guess she's awake.
Your POV
The smell of pasta filled my nose, causing me to fully wake up.
"Hey there." Mark smiled as I walked into the kitchen, where I seen him placing the pasta onto two plates.
"Hi." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes and scratching my head.
"How was your sleep?" Mark asked, placing my food in front of me, and his across from me.
"It was alright." I sloppily smiled, shoving my dinner into my mouth. My sleep in fact was terrible, my dream was worse than they ever have been.
"You were crying." he said quietly, so quietly that I had to piece together what I thought he said.
"I, it's just, you won't understa-"
"It's fine (y/n), I don't expect you to tell me anything."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I sternly asked.
"Nothing." he shrugged his shoulders and put another forkful of pasta in his mouth.
The rest of dinner was silent, and as soon as Mark finished, he walked off to his room.
I had no idea what the hell just happened. Was it because I didn't tell him what was wrong ? It was for his benefit, it would hurt him if I did tell him. He just doesn't understand I was trying to save his feelings, does he?
I got onto my phone and scoped out Twitter, which seemed to have a lot of drama going on. There always is. Why does everything resort in drama anyways? It doesn't make these tough situations any better, like at all.
The house phone started to ring, causing me to jump. I heard Mark quickly making his way down the stairs, so I started running to the phone.
Long story short, I got there first. He looked at me annoyingly and plopped himself onto the couch as I clicked the answer button.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hello, is Mark there?" said a female.
"Oh um yeah he is." I turned looking at him, watching him mouth 'who is it?'. "Who is this, if you don't mind me asking?" I spoke questionably.
"It's his mother. And whose this?" she replied with a sweet tone in her voice.
"I'm his uh-" , I never got a chance to finish before Mark screamed out, "she's my girlfriend!" he didn't even know who i was talking to yet!
"Oh! This must be (y/n)?" Marks mom asked, sounding excited.
"Yes, it is." I smiled through the phone. I turned to Mark, mouthing 'it's your mother. Come talk to her.' And so he did. I took the phone down from my ear and handed it to him, and walked out of the living room.
I wonder what they're talking about? Also, how much did he talk about me to his mom, because clearly she's heard of me. Mark never talks about his mom, and I've never heard them call before either. I just assumed that they didn't have a really good relationship or something.
I guess you shouldn't assume things about people.
"Hey," Mark said, placing the phone onto the table next to me.
"Hi." I softly said, tapping the back of my iPhone, not knowing what else to say.
"So, um as you know that was my mom," he began. I just nodded, continuing to be silent. "She wants to know if I would be interested in paying her a visit tomorrow." Mark scratched the back of his neck.
My heart sunk a little. I know his life is busy. His job requires not being home a lot. When he is he's just recording and editing all the time. I knew what to expect when I decided to date Mark, but I can't say I sometimes wish this was all different. I wish I got to actually spend time with him. I wish he didn't have to go all the time. I wish he didn't have millions of beautiful girls flirting with him and all over him 24/7. I just miss him, that's all. I don't blame him at all though, it's his job, that he loves, and I don't expect him to just drop it.
"I said yes,"
"Oo, oh yeah. That's great Mark." I fake smiled. He's leaving me, again.
"(y/n), you were invited too." He sat next to me and held my hands in his. All I could do is look at him. Why the hell would his mom ask for me to come too? She probably didn't. Mark probably just felt bad for me not having a life, and told his mother that he was taking me too.
"Mark, I don't have to go if you don't want me too." I didn't know if I really wanted to anyways. I was always awkward when it came to meeting parents, no matter who they belonged to. I would definitely embarrass myself in front of his mother, and then she would think I'm not suitable or good enough.
"What? Of course I want you too. It's not very often that I see my mom. This may be your only chance to meet her for awhile. Please (y/n), this is so important to me." I watched as his face softened, as if he had a really strong feeling I indeed, was not coming.
"I-, ugh, fine." I playfully rolled my eye, giving in to his very cute begging.
Mark let go of my hands, and instead grabbed my waist and pulled me into him. He nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. "Thank you." he softly said, and then hugged me tighter.
~*~
I don't know why I thought Cincinnati was going to be kinda like the country, because it really isn't.
The city was small compared to Los Angeles, but it was so beautiful.
It was our third day here, it's been so wonderful. I've meet Marks mom, who is so lovely. Mark thinks we have a connection, and that we'll become close in no time. I also met the puppers, they're all so cute!
"Good morning." Mark mumbled as he rolled over onto his left to face me, who is occasionally a morning person.
"Morning." I said smiling at him, fully awake now.
Mark shifted himself so he way now laying closer to be. "You're cute when you just wake up." He shot me a toothy smile, which was absolutely gorgeous.
I moved closer this time, until we were almost pressed against each other. I ran my hand through his thick hair.
"I'm so happy you came (y/n)."
"I'm happy I came too." I looked directly into his brown eyes, where I began to feel safe, and comfortable.
"No, (y/n). You don't understand how much I miss you on the daily basis. No matter where I am, or where you are. I'm so sorry I can't be with you."
"Mark," I sighed as I began to speak. "It's okay. Really. I understand that you get busy, very often."
"I love doing YouTube, but I love being with you too. You make everything so much better." This goof had me at a loss of words, so I let my lips show how I felt instead. This sideways thing is uncomfortable, so I sat up instead, as did Mark, but not once did our mouths part.
(Gets a lil naughty here everyone ;) )
Marks hand ran up and down the length of my back as I placed my hands around his neck. I felt a tug at the bottom of my shirt, which I assumed was Mark signalling it was gonna come off now. So I let go of his neck, and lifted my shirt above my head.
I quickly leaned back into the kiss, only so Mark didn't get a chance to see my body. Oh how I wish I wasn't insecure. I hated my stomach, so much, no matter what I do I can't have the body of a pretty girl. I was so embarrassed of my breasts, what if he thought they were too small, or maybe even too big. I tried my best to push all of these thoughts out of my head, and maybe process what was about to happen instead.
Was I even ready? Was I really ready to give myself up for the first time, to a guy I haven't said I love you to yet, but wouldn't be able to live without him. Mark was different than the other guys, but what if it's not good enough for him. What if this is just a fun thing to him, and it doesn't really mean anything special.
We were both laying down again now. I gripped onto the waistline of my red velvet pajama shorts. I think Mark felt my hand and he parted from my lips, looking up at me. he definitely saw the nervousness on my face, because right away he said "(y/n), we don't have too if you aren't ready yet." but I saw the disappointment in his eyes, and for some reason it kind of turned me on. I bit my lip, trying to see if I could drive him crazy. Mark looked to the left of us, grinned, and then looked back at me.
"What are you up to?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
I didn't say anything, instead, I sat up, quickly grabbing his attention.
"What the-" I cut him off by sliding my shorts down and throwing them to the side of the bed. He looked me up and down, and it seemed as if he melted right then and there.
"Holy shit," he stammered.
"Shut up." I smirked back, and put my lips back on his.
And without anything else being said, I did something I'll never regret.
OKAY guys so if that wasn't an exciting amount of events, then I don't know what is! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, I'll see you next time, BUH BYEEE!!