Every day was a struggle for me. I couldn't help but cry every time I looked at my son. You can see he was feeling better, but his cries were still embedded in my mind. At this moment I was feeling useless. I couldn't protect my son, I hated to admit it but I was feeling like less and less of a mother. I was walking from the cafeteria and saw my mother and father walking in. Rome was still sitting in the lobby. He had been to the hospital every day since Prince had been here, acting as if he cared. It was making me sick, I wished I could make him disappear, but I didn't have the power to do that. I hated his guts and just looking at him disgusted me. It was crazy because never in a million years would I have thought I would feel that way about him, even after everything he put me through.
I walk into Prince's hospital room behind my mother and father. We said good morning and the look on my mother's face let me know she was about to get on my nerves.
"Mani Listen I know you're mad, but I think you going overboard."
I turned around so fast I could have caught whiplash. I'm more than mad, I'm furious, you know I'm mad? Nah you don't know how I'm feeling.
"That may be true but still that is the father of your child."
I had to turn and face the wall. I let out a deep breath to keep myself from going the fuck off. I started to count, not to any specific number. But before I got to eight she started talking again.
"Mani, do the right thing and let that man see his son. I raised you better than that."
You raised me better than that. I turned quickly in her direction. Nah you raised me to be a fucking coward. Every time I came home telling you that someone was picking on me, what was your reply. I gave her a few seconds to answer. Oh no, don't get quiet now, WHAT WAS YOUR REPLY! My father hopped out of the chair.
"Don't you dare raise your voice at your mother, the fuck is wrong with you, he said."
No, what the fuck is wrong with y'all, you know what your reply was I turned back and faced my mother. Oh, it's okay just ignore them, not stand up and fight for myself. So my son laying in that bed is because I ignored all the shit that's been going on since I got there. My father is a fucking cop for Christ's sake and all you telling me to do is ignore everything. You can't stand up to him and made me weak like you. My dad walked up to me and slapped me across my face.
" I said to watch how you talk to your mother."
I grabbed onto my face for a min, then I snapped. GET THE FUCK OUT, GET.THE. FUCK. OUT!..... The hot tears ran down my cheek and at this moment I didn't care about shit. Either you were with me or against me. They left out the room and I wish they went home cause I no longer wanted to see their face. They gonna get the same treatment that Rome got.
Prince had awakened for a min, I washed him off, and then nurses came in and changed his bandages. He was still in a little bit of pain. His cries turned into more of a whine. He would always reach out and try to grab for the bruise on his back, you can tell he could still feel it. Shortly after entertaining him and trying to keep his mind off of everything he was fast asleep. I walked to the nurse's station and peeked in the lobby, my mother had been there, and so was Rome. I guess he let Dre handle business in the meantime or something, cause he had too much time on his hand. I turn back toward the nurse's station when one of them asks if I needed anything. I asked the nurse who usually changed his bandages can she keep an eye on him so I could go home to take a bath, and get some clothing she agreed. I was mad at my mom but I was relieved that she was still there. I knew she would keep an eye on him too. That was just the type of person she was.
The drive to the house was long too long. I was stuck alone with my thoughts. The very thing I thought was a blessing was a curse. I shouldn't have ever even gone back to that house but I was being stupid. I thought I had won, I thought with Brittany gone Rome would finally open up to me. I finally pulled up to the place I hated the most. I walked in and went into my room, all I wanted was a nice hot shower. I wanted to be back before Prince opened his eyes.
After getting out of the shower I took care of my hygiene, put on all my clothing, and walked out of my room. I jumped and grabbed my chest at the figure that was sitting on the living room couch and it was Rome. I rolled my eyes so damn hard, that I wouldn't have been surprised if they popped out. This fool started to talk to me.
"Mani, before he could even get it out I lifted my hand. "Shut the fuck up Rome don't talk to me, I said." I walked to the door to leave but he got up and ran to it blocking me from leavening. Rome was making me infuriated.
"Look Mani bruh you just have to hear me out."
No Rome ain't nothing to hear. I don't care I just don't. The only thing I care about is my son and you're blocking me from getting back to him.
"You can't fucking do this to me, Mani. I know you're mad but you acting as if I knew she was gonna burn him." I didn't fucking know!
You didn't know and yea that's true. You knew you shouldn't have moved her in here in the first fucking place.
"Watch your fuckin mouth bruh," he said extending his thumb and index finger and pointing towards my face.
"Or what nigga," I said mushing my hand in his face. You are all in my personal space back the fuck up.
"Yo you wildin you heard me, you better chill the fuck out while I'm being nice to you, he said."
Rome look, as long as that bitch still walking this earth I have no respect for you. So do what you must but just know you're not Ike and nigga I'm not Tina. "Now move," I said pushing him to the side.
"Go ahead imma let you go," he said walking out the door behind me. "it's taking everything in me not to bat the fuck out of you right now." So, imma let you have that, he said.
I got in my car and drove off. I can talk a big game but I thought Rome was gone whoop my ass. I was still in love with that man, how stupid can I be? How can you just turn off the love you have for someone I wish I knew, but what I did know is that love or not, I would
be mad with him for a very long time.
It was the principal, I wasn't messing with him until he delivers Brittany's head on a stick. I hated that she was still walking around, I hated it. pulling back up into the hospital parking lot, I parked my car and headed back in.
I couldn't wait to see Prince. I was clinging to him more than usual. I was paranoid when it came to him and I didn't want to keep him out of my sight for too long. I walked in the elevator to go to the second floor which his room was on. I walked down the hallway almost making it to his room. As I got closer I noticed that two unfamiliar men were standing at the entrance of Prince's room. They look to be security guards and all I thought to myself was Rome's family better not be fucking playing with me. I walked up to the door and before I could even put my hand on the doorknob was stopped right in my tracks.
"Ma'am no one is allowed to go in there one of the officers guarding the door said."
My face booted up, "What do you mean no one is allowed in there, My son is in there."
"Ma'am I'm sorry but you can't go in there."
I tried to push through them knowing full well those men were too big for me to move, My son is in there let me see my son.
Mani, my dad's shouting caught me off guard. He and my mother was standing behind me.
"What's going on?" Rome walked in behind them.
Mani calm down and listen to me," My mother said grabbing my hands and holding them into hers.
Ma I just want to see my son. Please I just have to see my son.
"Everything is going to be alright Mani I promise everything is going to be fine, Prince is okay."
I heard the creaks from the door that was attached to my son's room. I turned around and some woman walked out there. She walked straight up to me. " Hi, my name is Mary Kinware and I'm Damaris Child Protective Service worker. What, do you mean? What the fuck does that mean?
"Calm down ma'am," she said to me as she extended her hand out as if she waiting for me to shake it.
Calm down, are you crazy? yall trying to take my baby away from me. I love him more than anything and I'm not letting that happen. I ran towards Prince's room door and try to fight off security. They were pushing me back, and one of the men pushed me so hard that I fell to the ground. Rome ran up to the man and punched him square in the face.
"Watch what the fuck you doing," Rome said as he backed up a little and begin to put his set up.
The other security guard pulled out his gun. "Yo, back the fuck up," he said pointing it at Rome.
The guy who pushed me got up and was starting to charge at Rome. Rome had him leaking. The other guard grabbed his shirt and held him back then said, "Look bruh you don't want to lose your job behind this."
"Man fuck this job!" he shouted trying to get free to get to Rome.
" Think about your family bruh," the other security guard said trying to calm him down.
He finally calmed down. "Go wash your face bruh and if you need to see a doctor good thing we're in the hospital, said the other security guard." He walked off mean mugging Rome. Rome turned around and extended his hands toward me, I slapped his shit away. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I stood up and evaded his space. If they take my son Rome I will never forgive you.
Thoughts?
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