Ranboo woke up in a cold sweat, he couldn't breathe as he suddenly heard Dream in his head. "Finally awake huh, welcome back" Dream laughed, his laugh seemed to echo for a bit. Ranboo shut his eyes tightly and grabbed his head, hoping it would all stop soon. "T-Tubbo" he whispered, he desperately needed him especially then as he slowly opened his eyes and looked to where Tubbo should be sleeping, he was gone with no note to replace him this time. Dreams laugh suddenly started echoing again, like a never ending nightmare. His breathing was rapid through his gritted teeth whilst he rocked himself back and forth, holding his head tightly as he grabbed handfuls of hair. "TUBBO" he soon yelled as he shook violently, sweat dripping down his face.
He suddenly heard the door swing open as footsteps started running towards him. He then felt someone quickly sit down in front of him as they gently covered his hands with their own. "It's ok it's ok, you're alright, Tubbo's right here, I'm right here now I've got you" Tubbo said calmly, "it's alright, Boo look at me". Ranboo slowly looked at him, clear fear in his eyes. "See I'm right here you're ok, you're alright, it's ok" Tubbo said, trying his best to calm him down. "I-I can't do this he's in my head Tubbo" Ranboo cried. "It's ok you can do this, I'm right here if you need anything ok, it's ok" Tubbo said, "try and let go of your head and instead hold my hands, you can squeeze my hands as tight as you need". Ranboo nodded as he slowly let go of his hair before squeezing Tubbos hands tightly. "T-Tubbo I'm scared" he whispered shakily. "It's ok I promise, come here it's alright" Tubbo said as he pulled Ranboo into a tight hug. Ranboo held onto Tubbo as tight as he could, not letting go any time soon, not entirely sure if any of this was real, it felt like a very realistic nightmare.
"I've got you now it's ok, I've got you, you can relax I promise" Tubbo reassured him. "I-I can't I can't I'm sorry" Ranboo quickly said, he sounded terrified. "You can don't worry it's ok, it's just me and you, no one else I promise, you're completely safe, you're ok" Tubbo repeated, "you're ok". Ranboo nodded as he tried to calm down but it wasn't working at all. "Ranboo I want you to listen to me, turn your full focus to my voice ok" Tubbo said, feeling Ranboo shake violently in his arms before he nodded. "You are completely safe, I'm right here for you, all I want for you is to relax as much as you can and breathe with me ok" he said, feeling Ranboo nod again, "slowly breathe in" he instructed. Ranboo couldn't do it, his breathing was too fast, it felt like he was about to faint. "I-I can't I'm sorry" he cried very shakily. "It's ok, we can go slower" Tubbo said comfortingly, making sure he knew he wasn't mad.
He then slowly separated from the hug as Ranboo accidentally grabbed onto his sleeves tightly with his eyes closed. "It's ok, I'm not going anywhere I promise, I'm gonna stay with you until I know you're ok, ok?" Tubbo reassured him. Ranboo nodded but he still didn't let go as he slowly looked at him again. "I'm not gonna leave you I promise, I'm not going anywhere" Tubbo continued with a small smile. "S-sorry" Ranboo stuttered as he closed his eyes again. "It's alright I promise, you have nothing to apologise for, look at me" Tubbo said as they both slowly made eye contact, "I'm not mad, I wanna help, you're gonna be ok" he reassured him. Ranboo nodded, he had only calmed down slightly since Tubbo ran into the room. "Hold my hands" he said, holding his hands out. Ranboo hesitated, feeling if he were to let go of Tubbos sleeves he would disappear. Tubbo noticed Ranboos hesitation, "it's ok, I'm not going anywhere I promise" he reassured him.
Ranboo nodded as he slowly let go of Tubbos sleeves before quickly holding onto his hands tightly. "See, I'm still here" Tubbo smiled at him. Ranboo nodded in relief, all of a sudden feeling like he couldn't talk as tears started to fly down his face. Tubbo then guided Ranboo's hands down to his wrists before he gently cupped Ranboos face in his hands, carefully wiping away tears with his thumbs. "It's ok, calm, relax, you can do it, I'm right here for you, I'm not going anywhere I promise, try and breathe with me" Tubbo said reassuringly, "take a deep breath in through your nose... and out through your mouth" he said, watching as Ranboo did as he said. "See, you can do it, you've got this it's ok, take another deep breath in... and out" he repeated, then repeating it over and over again.
"Last one, you've got this, you're doing really well" Tubbo reassured him before repeating the line again, watching as Ranboo took one final shaky deep breath. "There you go, come here" he said, opening his arms. Ranboo quickly fell into his arms, holding onto him tightly. "It's all ok now, you did good I'm proud" Tubbo reassured him, slowly rubbing his back whilst slowly running his fingers through his hair, "it's all ok now" he said once again. "T-thank you" Ranboo whispered shakily. "It's alright, what happened?" Tubbo asked, loosening the hug. "I-I don't know, it happened again, I woke up p-panicking except this time, Dream was instantly in my head" Ranboo explained. "Ok, tomorrow I'm gonna make sure I'm right next to you when you wake up in case it happens again" Tubbo said, "and if it does happen again then we'll have to figure something out". Ranboo nodded, slowly giving up on this whole 'trying' thing, trying to be happy, trying to eat properly, trying to just live, he was finding it harder and harder to do all of these things each day.
"It's all ok now, you're still shaking a bit" Tubbo pointed out. "Y-yeah sorry" Ranboo said, his voice cracking slightly. "It's completely fine don't worry about it, try and relax, you're still quite tense" Tubbo said calmly. Ranboo nodded but he felt useless, his breathing was still a bit shaky and everything hurt. "It's all ok now, is there anything you wanna do?" Tubbo asked, feeling Ranboo shake his head. Ranboo suddenly had an urge, the urge to hurt himself, he wanted to tell Tubbo but he knew if he did, he would try and stop him. "What're you thinking about?" Tubbo asked, knowing something was wrong as always. "Nothing" Ranboo whispered, he sounded defeated, tired and stressed all at the same time. "Do you need to talk about something?" Tubbo asked worriedly. Ranboo shook his head even though he felt there was a lot he wanted to talk about. "Somethings bothering you, is it about what just happened or something else?" Tubbo said in a calm tone.
"It's nothing" Ranboo whispered again, feeling tears enter his eyes, he needed to talk about it but felt silenced. He suddenly sniffled accidentally, getting Tubbo's attention even more. "It's ok, I'm right here if you need anything" Tubbo reassured him. Ranboo silently cried into his shoulder, not knowing what to do as he slowly sat up and accidentally held Tubbos hands tightly, not noticing he had done so. "I-I'm sorry for all of t-this, I don't know what t-to do anymore" he said, his voice cracking quite a bit as he stared away from Tubbo. "You don't need to be sorry for anything, are you maybe confused about something, maybe worried or scared?" Tubbo asked. "I-I don't know" Ranboo stuttered, looking at Tubbo before quickly looking away. "Ok, it's ok" Tubbo said calmly, trying to take it slow. "Do you wanna talk about things or do you just wanna sit in silence?" He asked. "I-I can't talk" Ranboo cried quietly. "What do you mean?" Tubbo asked confusedly. "I-I can't remember how to talk about t-these things" Ranboo stuttered. "Do you want me to ask you questions about things then you can try and get everything you want out from that?" Tubbo suggested as Ranboo nodded.
"Ok, what's your biggest worry right now" he asked, starting it all off. "M-my thoughts" Ranboo said shakily, trying his best to calm down but it wasn't working. "What about your thoughts is making you worry?". "I-it's the things it tells me to do, like the urges" Ranboo explained. "Do you have any urges right now?" Tubbo asked worriedly. Ranboo nodded, feeling stupid for nodding and also feeling like it was a bad idea. "Is it 1 or multiple?". "2 I-I think" Ranboo said, slowly calming down. "Ok, do you wanna tell me what the urge's are or no?". Ranboo didn't answer as tears quickly flooded back to his eyes, Tubbo noticed. "Do you wanna do what the thoughts and urges are telling you to do?" He asked. Ranboo nodded, unsure if that was the right decision. "It's ok, I can promise you now that if you do you will regret it greatly, remember last time?" Tubbo said. "N-not really" Ranboo stuttered. "Last time you almost passed out because of the pain, is that maybe why you wanna do it again, to remind yourself?". Ranboo hadn't thought of that before, "m-maybe, I don't know" he stuttered.
"Ok, it's ok, do you wanna keep talking or do something else?" Tubbo asked. Ranboo shrugged before thinking and answering, "c-can we do something else please" he said. "Yes of cause, let's get changed for the day then we can go and do stuff, see Michael and maybe do something with him?" Tubbo suggested as Ranboo nodded. "I'll get you clothes" he said, getting up and getting Ranboos casual suit out before getting clothes out for himself. Once they were both dressed, they went down to the kitchen to eat. Ranboo made breakfast this time since he's the one that knows how to cook. He kept glancing over at the sink every now and then as he felt the urge slowly grow stronger. He was soon done with the food as he sat down next to Tubbo with both their plates, placing them down in front of Tubbo and himself.
It had been a couple of minutes, Tubbo was almost finished whilst Ranboo hadn't even started, he was too busy staring at his food and moving it around with his fork. "Are you ok?" Tubbo asked, taking his plate over to the sink before sitting back down next to him. "Y-yeah, not really hungry" Ranboo stuttered nervously, he felt sick but was still unsure why he felt this way. "Have a tiny bit then we can go do things" Tubbo said with a small smile. "Ok" Ranboo sighed as he picked up a bit with his fork before eating, feeling disgusted as he did a weird shiver. "See, not so bad" Tubbo smiled. "I-I hate it" Ranboo said, sounding tired. "I know, it's ok, you have to get through it though otherwise you'll never get better". *What if I don't want to get better* Ranboo thought, obviously not gonna say that as he took another bite, then another before putting the fork down, deciding that was enough.
"Is that all?" Tubbo asked, Ranboo nodded. "Just 1 more bite" he said. "D-do I have to?" Ranboo sighed annoyedly. "Yes" Tubbo said in a calm tone. Ranboo sighed again as he slowly ate another bit before putting it all down and taking the plate over to the sink. "You did good" Tubbo reassured him. Ranboo couldn't help but smile before it quickly dropped. He walked back over to the table and sat back down. "How are you feeling after all of this?" Tubbo asked, holding his hand tightly. "Tired" Ranboo said, he sounded drained even though he had slept, not well at all but he slept. "Sometimes when you don't have a good sleep then it'll feel like you haven't slept at all, meaning you'll feel even more tired" Tubbo said. "Good to know" Ranboo said before yawning. "We can have a lazy day today if you want, just lay in bed all day" Tubbo said with a small smile. "T-that sounds like a waste of a day though" Ranboo said. "Not really, you'll feel great tomorrow" Tubbo said, trying to convince him.
"It's fine, let's go see Michael" Ranboo said as they both suddenly stood up. "You sure? You look tired" Tubbo said as he started following Ranboo to Michael's little house. "Y-yes I'm sure" Ranboo said, still stuttering slightly. "Ok then" Tubbo sighed quietly, not knowing how to help.
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Next chapter is gonna be smt let me say that-
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