Harry Styles
Today is day 16 of tour and we are in Pennsylvania. A state that I dread being in with every fiber of my being. Everything bad happens in Pennsylvania.
Every task we have been given has flown pretty easy, Delilah did have a little scare when we were in Boston, she got chased by cops that arrived to the scene before we could run and we lost her for a couple minutes but Louis managed to get to her faster than them and hid with her behind a car until we managed to find them and escape the cops.
Every show has gone smoothly, the crowds keep getting bigger and way louder. I have been writing a song in the hotel room when Delilah leaves to hangout with Jade, which is every single day.
I've only written two songs. One that I played on stage the first show we had on the tour, and one that I've kept to myself because it's too revealing. It's about her. And I'm not ready to put that out there.
"Open up Styles!" Niall's voice yells from outside my room as he knocks repeatedly. "Hang on a second, Jesus!" I close my journal and put it back in my suitcase, then grab my wallet and open the door. "What do you want?"
"We're going out." He answers simply with his hands in his pocket. "Niall, you're almost 23. Why are you wearing a snap back?" I flick the hat on his head. I swear he tries to look younger on purpose.
He flips the hat around with a pout, "Hey, Jade bought me this asshole." I walk out of the door with him and Liam following behind.
"We went out last night so if you think I'm getting drunk, you're heavily mistaken." Liam argues with Niall and he laughs, "Liam you're heavily mistaken if you think you can turn down a drink." We get to the elevators and press the button.
As soon as the doors open, Louis, Zayn, Delilah and Jade come in sight, "You guys went with them? Why weren't we invited?" Niall holds his hands out by his sides in offense.
"We ran into them while coming up, calm down you baby." Delilah explains. "Where are you guys going?" Zayn asks as we step into the elevator to join them.
"Out, apparently." I shrug and put my arm around Delilah, kissing her head.
"We went out last night." Delilah mentions and Niall scoffs, "Yeah and you all say I'm the baby."
"You are." We all say in unison and he rolls his eyes.
We leave the hotel as a group and walk around the area until we find a bar, which was easy since we are now inside of one ordering drinks.
"We can't get too drunk, we have a mission tomorrow and if you bitches are hungover I'm not covering for you." Zayn sternly tells us and Niall waves at him to shut up.
We sit down at a table and each take shots, pouring them back with ease. Minus Delilah and Jade.
After a few drinks I stand up and announce, "I have to piss." Delilah and Jade are dancing and the guys are talking about a shoe that you can get free drinks if you drink out of it so they aren't even paying attention to me.
I do my business in the bathroom and leave, on my way out I accidentally bump into someone, "Sorry." I stand against the wall to let them pass.
"You're okay." The girl I bumped into replies. As she passes me, she makes eye contact with me.
Without my control, my eyes immediately widen.
"Harry?" The look on her face is matching mine.
"Quinn."
Delilah Lavigne
Jade and I walk back to our table and I notice Harry is missing, "Where's my boyfriend?" I look around the area, "I think to take a piss." Liam points to the bathrooms and I go that way since I myself have to pee.
As I turn the corner to the bathrooms, he slams into me from turning too fast, "Woah, you almost took me out there." I laugh as he grips my arms to hold me back up. "Sorry." He mutters.
"You okay?" He looks angry.
His lips go in a line as he nods, "Okay well I have to pee so I'll see you back at the table." I stand on my tippy toes to kiss him and then walk into the bathroom.
Once I'm done, I go to wash my hands but a girl is leaning against the counter breathing heavily, "Hey, are you okay?" I walk closer to her and she turns to me at my voice. She's crying.
She sniffs and wipes her nose, "Yeah, sorry you can wash your hands." She steps aside and I narrow my eyes at her, "Do I know you?"
She looks oddly familiar.
She crosses her arms, "I-I don't think so."
I finish washing my hands but still see her crying, "Was it a stupid boy?" I'm nosey. Sue me.
She looks at me with a hint of a smile, "Yeah you could say that."
I dry my hands then press my hands on the sink, lifting myself up to sit on it. I tap the open area next to me as an invite for her to join me up here and she does. "You can talk to me, we're strangers and I give pretty good advice."
She sighs while wiping her eyes, "I shouldn't even be crying about it. What happened between us was my fault."
I give her a look of sympathy, "It's okay to cry. If you love him, then clearly it'll affect you too no matter what you or he did."
"It just sucks because tonight I saw him for the first time in two years, and looking into his eyes just brought back every good thing in our relationship. I think it did for him too, but he just won't show it. I know he hates me but seeing me had to have done something you know?"
Damn what did she do to the guy? My bets on cheating.
"Listen, I don't know what you did but love is a strong feeling. It can make people feel like they're on top of the world and like there's nothing else that can compare to that feeling. Or it can make you stupid and angry and reckless. No in between. It takes time for love to fade but what takes more time is forgiveness. Let him come to you when he's ready." I console her with shitty advice.
She smiles, "You give very good advice total stranger." Not so shitty after all I guess.
I chuckle, "It's a specialty of mine."
We hop off the counter together and I open the bathroom door, "Good luck." I feel sad for her. She clearly did something bad but she feels terrible about it. "Can I hug you?" She hesitantly asks. I pull her in, "Of course."
She hugs me tightly as a way of saying thank you and then let's go, "Well I better get going, if by some chance we meet again I'll tell you if anything happens."
"Then I hope we meet again." I laugh and watch as she exits the bar.
Yeah we're never meeting again.
I walk back over to the table and notice Harry gone once again, "What took you so long?" Jade comes up to me, "I was talking to someone, where's Harry?"
"Oh he wasn't feeling good so he headed back, he said he would text you." She explains.
Weird but okay.
We dance more and get a few more drinks, enough to make me feel tipsy and finally decide it's time to head back since it's after 1am.
On our way back to the hotel Niall, Jade and I kept singing our tone deaf version of Take Me To Church until Louis and Liam told us to shut up since we were hurting their ears.
Buzzkills am I right?
They walk me to my door and we all part ways. As soon as I walk into the room, I hear running water coming from the bathroom.
I change out of the clothes I was wearing and put on a black tank top and sweatpants. I go to zip up my suitcase but the photo catches my eyes.
I shouldn't have it anymore, I should just put it back. This feels wrong.
I take it out of the pocket I had it in and walk to the table with Harry's wallet on it, ready to put it back where I found it.
With a second glance at the picture, it comes to me.
"You've got to be kidding me." I say out loud.
I climb on top of the bed, staring at the photo. How the hell is this possible?
I pick at the skin on my lips, still staring at the photo.
I don't know how much time passes by, but Harry comes out of the bathroom and changes into sweatpants, all while I'm still in a trance staring at this damn picture.
"Why did you leave today?" I finally speak up as he zips his suitcase.
"I wasn't feeling good. I asked Jade to tell you."
"Yeah, she did. But why weren't you feeling good?"
He furrows his eyebrows, "I just wasn't?"
I hum, "Does it have anything to do with Quinn?"
Harry's face drops and his head turns to me so fast I'm sure it gave him whiplash, "What did you just say?"
"You know, your ex girlfriend." I answer simply with a shrug.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Harry crosses his arms, "Oh but I think you do." I stand up from the bed and walk over to him, our eyes staring into each other's the whole time.
I bring my hand up and show him the picture, "Now is it coming to you?" I narrow my eyes.
He looks at the picture and his jaw clenches, "Where did you get that?"
"It doesn't matter where I got it. Who is she?"
His chin quivers, "She's from my past, nothing that concerns you."
I scoff and turn away from him, standing in front of the bed, "It sure as hell does concern me. Harry, I know absolutely fucking nothing about you or your past." He's standing behind me acting like he's mute.
"What happened to trusting each other? What happened to no more secrets? That only applies to me, huh?" I raise my voice to get him to speak.
His jaw is clenching so hard I'm surprised his teeth haven't cracked, "I don't know what you want me to say. I don't want to talk about it so lay off."
I laugh, "Lay off? Are you joking? Either tell me right now or so help me god I'm walking out of that door and not coming back." I point to the door, making myself clear.
He drops his head and rubs his eyes, "Jesus fine! You want to know something? She was a greedy bitch and a traitor, she made me fall for her just to break my heart into a thousand pieces in the worst way possible! Happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear Delilah?" I flinch at the harshness in his voice.
"What the hell did she do to you?" I whisper, not knowing if I truly want to know.
"She fucking used me, that's what she did. She was a fake motherfucker our whole relationship and was working with Luca the whole time to get more than enough money paid to her to make me fall in love with her and then leave. It was a test the whole time. He wanted to see his strongest man break. And trust me, I did."
Tears brim my eyes, "Harry, I'm so sorry." I take a step towards him but he moves back, "No." He puts his hand out in between us, "Just, no." His eyes are glossy.
I respect his need to distance myself and take a step back again, "You saw her again today. Didn't you?"
He's looking at the ground now and just nods as he shuts his eyes.
"You should know she misses you. And she feels terrible about what she did. She wishes she could take it back and I know you do too." He lifts his head up and stares at me in confusion as a tear falls from my eye. "I know I'll never make you as happy as you were with her. Whether it was fake or not, your feelings were real. Do with that what you will and come back to me when you know what you want." I almost walk past him but before I do, I press my hand against his chest and his hand moves to mine, but I pull away and leave the picture in his grasp.
I reach the hotel door with no more words spoken between us and knock on Jade and Niall's door.
I try to wipe away my tears before either of them sees but Niall opens it just in time before I can. "Come here." He pulls me into a hug without questioning anything.
"You stay here with her. I'll crash with Zayn." He pulls away and opens his door for me. He taps my arm and starts to walk into the hall, "Niall, thank you." I put my lips in a line and he nods, "Don't worry about it."
I climb into the bed with Jade which wakes her, "What's wrong?" She sits up with urgency when she sees my face. I shake my head with my eyes pinched shut, "Can you just hold me tonight?"
She grabs my shoulders and wraps her arms around me as I just cry. I don't know who or what I'm crying for. I think for myself and for Harry. I want to hate Quinn. I should hate her. But I can't, not after I heard what she said even though it was about my own goddamn boyfriend.
I can't be the girl that he's using to try to get over her. That's not fair to me or him. All I can do is give him time to figure himself out before he can figure us out. And I don't mind waiting.
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how we feelin ya'll
^^so true