You've been home for nearly 3 weeks. Everyone's been to visit, there's been so much laughter and tears the last month. It's been amazing seeing everyone back here. Even Bucky came to visit, the way he is around the babies is amazing, he loves them. Already calling himself uncle buck. You don't know why you were so scared to come back home, there's been nothing but support for you and your family. Natasha and Wanda doesn't want to leave your side, scared you'll pack your bags and leave again. They're your own personal babysitters. Clint and his family came over with gifts for the babies, already setting up play dates with their newborn baby girl Natalia. Everyone's been here except one.
Tony.
He doesn't answer your calls, and no one has seen him ever since you've come home. There's no sign of him. You understand he needs time, but you'd wish he would just tell you that. All you needed was one text message from him telling you he's okay, that he needs some space before seeing you. But you've revived nothing from him. Not a single word.
"Darling stop worrying so much, you're thoughts are keeping the babies up" Loki smiles, kissing you on the cheek.
"He hasn't come, no calls... Nothing" you sigh.
"He will I assure you" Loki says reassuringly.
"How do you know?" You ask sadly.
"That's what big brothers do, the one thing they can't stop doing is interfering" Loki chuckles. "Give him some time he'll be here"
"Thank you Loki" you chuckle. "Let's put them to sleep" you smile.
Loki and you put the babies down into the their basinets. You rest your head on lokis shoulder as he sings them a lullaby. He does this every night, you're beginning to understand more and more of the magical language he speaks. But you prefer just listening to his soothing voice.
Loki rocks the basinet back and forth as he sings;
"Bissam, bissam baad'ne,
gryta hængø i jod'ne;
koka full tå rjumegraut
åt dæ vesle baad'ne.
Far han sittø og harpa kødn
more, ho blæsø saa vakkert hødn,
syste, ho sittø aa spinnø gull,
bror, han gaar i skogen;
jaga allø villø dyr;
æ han kvit saa kjøyr'n hit,
æ han graa, saa lat'n gaa,
æ han brun i boge,
saa laat'n gaa i skoge."
You look at the babies in awe as they drift off to sleep listening to their fathers soothing voice. You're eyes closing slowly as well.
"Should we just head to bed?" You whisper.
"You should go see your brother.. I'll go to sleep" Loki smirks. Jumping into bed.
"I can't just show up, I promised him I would let him come to me" you say quietly. Trying to sneak into bed with him.
"One thing I know about Stark is that he's even more stubborn than you are, and that says a lot Min elskede." Loki grins. "Now take the keys and drive.
"Fine" You sigh deeply, kissing him gently, getting up from the bed, before grabbing the keys and walking to your car.
As you drive you think of all the things you want to say, there's so much you want him to know, yet you can't find the right words that could ever justify what you put him through.
You sit outside his house looking in for a while. Unable to move. As much as you just want to see his face you're equally scared. Suddenly Tony walks out resting against the balcony looking at your car. You take a deep breath slowly getting out, leaning against the door.
"Hey Tony" you smile softly.
"So it is true.. you're alive" he mumbles.
"Yeah alive and well" you chuckle awkwardly
"I can see that"
You start to walk towards him, hoping he won't back away from you. But he does. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have come" you say sadly, turning around ready to get in your car again.
"No wait don't go" Tony calls out to you. "I don't want you to go" He admits.
"Are you sure?" You smile.
"No.. but I'm not risking you walking out on me again" Tony sighs. "Now come here kid" Tony smiles sadly as he opens his arms. You smile broadly running into his embrace, holding onto him as your life depended on it. "God I've missed you so much kid" Tony sobs quietly, holding the back of your head. You feel like a small girl all over again, back at your parents funeral. "Don't you ever do that again okay? You hear me?" Tony sobs louder. Cupping your face. Looking you directly into your eyes.
"I'm so sorry" you stammer.
"We've only got each other left okay, Im not burying you again, promise me" Tony says, his lips quivers.
"I promise it's just you and me" you smile. As he pulls you closer again.
"Tony what are you doing out this-" Pepper calls but stops mid sentence when she sees you. "Y/n oh my" she smiles as she runs towards you joining the hug. "Don't you ever scare us like that again" pepper yells.
You and Tony look at each other laughing. "Don't worry pep I already gave her that big speech" Tony smirks. "Can't stay mad at her"
Pepper grabs your hand smiling softly. "You're glowing, I'm so happy to see you"
"I'm glowing?" You chuckle. "Look at yourself" you say pointing out her giant belly. "How long?" You ask.
"Just a couple more weeks" she chuckles, resting her hand on her stomach. "Why don't you go inside and talk, I'll get you some coffee"
You and Tony sit in the couch sipping coffee, the last time you were sitting here it was before your wedding day. It was two years ago you sat in this couch. Seems like time had passed right under your nose.
"Why didn't you just tell me you were alive?"
The question lingers in the room for longer than you want it to. You have no good answer, you should have told him, he deserved to know.
"I was afraid to put you in any danger, I came to realize the world was a much better place without me in it" you admit. "I was selfish, stupid.. but I did it all out of love, everything I've ever done has been out of love" you say softly. "If someone had told me 10 years ago I had saved the universe, married the man I love, given birth to two beautiful children.. I wouldn't have believed them... sometimes I think back at all the pain I've been through ever since the snap, I wish I would have died that day... I truly do" you sob. "But the only reason my kids are alive is because of the stones"
"You deserve to be happy kid" Tony sighs.. "and if that involved the two years of pain, that's fine with me" he smiles kindly.
"You forgive me?"
"I'll always forgive you y/n" Tony assures you. "I'm your big brother" he grins. "It's my job to forgive you even when you can't forgive yourself, and sure you annoy me, and make my life a living hell sometimes.. but I love you, you are the one person I can't live without" As Tony speaks you rest your head on his shoulder. "You're my person.. you'll always be my person"
"Thank you Tony" you smile softly "Maybe you could come visit us someday.. I don't want to live in a world where Edward and Frigga doesn't know their crazy uncle Tony" you chuckle.
"I can't belive you named you son after me.. I'm not naming my daughter y/n you know" Tony scoffs.
"We're naming her Maria" Pepper calls From upstairs.
You look at Tony with tears in your eyes. "You are?" You whimper.
"God yes, with a name like that, there's nothing she can't do" Tony smirks. "Plus Morgan and Maria has a nice ring to it" he smiles.
You couldn't stop smiling, the fact The name Maria would now live on in the family, first your mother, then your middle name, and now your little niece.
"Im so happy for you Tony, you look good. Have you put away all the hero stuff?" You ask.
"Yeah, I thought I would try a piece of that normal life you always talked about.. not as bad as I thought" he smiles.
"It suits you"
"Suits you more"
You spend all night laughing, talking, watching your favorite movies. Fighting about useless things that doesn't really matter. And just like that you're home again. And all the heartbreak, all the suffering seems to disappear, you have everything you've ever wanted in your life, and for once in you life you don't have a bad taste in your mouth. You have no worry that it will go away..
You're truly happy.