PEYTON
I had spent most of my free time studying for my finals and I knew the material pretty well, but I was still nervous. Max had his own finals to study for, so I'd seen less of him and more of Becca and Lin since we studied together.
The three of us spent the last two afternoons in the back of the library with our noses buried in our books, until it was time for Lin and Becca to go to practice.
I only had a couple of more chapters to review, so I went back to my dorm after picking up a sandwich for dinner on the way. The entire dorm building was quiet, which was unusual, but I suspected the other students were studying as well.
My phone buzzed a couple of times as I settled down on my bed. And that sound was like an instant alert to my system. My heart rate picked up, hoping it was from Beau. It beat even harder when I saw it was.
First, it was just a picture of an empty arena. I was getting used to those. He had sent quite a few, and they all looked about the same to me. But it was crazy to imagine that this band I first heard playing in a garage now filled those places with fans.
The next picture was of him and Justin dressed and ready for the show. Beau had some kind of reddish bandanna around his head. It was a new look for him, and I wondered if that was all it was, just a new look. Or if it had a purpose. It did look like his hair was getting a bit too long, so maybe that was why?
"Rocked Copenhagen tonight," said the text that followed.
I looked at the time on my phone. It was close to six pm so after doing a quick math; I figured it was around midnight in Denmark. They had probably finished for the night and were either back at the hotel, or out celebrating.
I knew from keeping track of their schedule - which I would never admit out loud to anyone - that they were off for Oslo in the morning.
"What's with the bandanna?" I asked.
"Need a haircut."
I laughed because it seemed like something he'd say. He was more focused on playing and sightseeing than sitting still long enough for someone to trim his bangs.
"Lol. Don't you have a stylist or makeup person who can do that for you?"
"Probably."
"Or are you letting it grow long like Justins?"
It was so fun and easy to have these bantering texts with him. I fluffed my pillow and leaned back, waiting for his response. Hoping it would come...
Beau had started to text me again shortly after the thanksgiving break. The first thing he sent me was a selfie with the Eiffel tower in the background. It was near sunset and the colorful sky only enhanced the view of the lit up tower, but it was Beau's grinning face that got me every time I looked at the picture. And I looked at it a lot.
He was so effortlessly beautiful. The way his dirty blond hair fell down over his forehead, his dark blue eyes twinkling beneath it, and the broad, teasing smile... Yeah, it all got to me.
And to most other women as well, unfortunately.
Trudge Lite was finishing up their popular European tour. The advertisement for the upcoming North American tour had picked up significantly recently. They were to start off in California in mid-March. And between the tours, they were scheduled to be in the studio.
It was a good thing they enjoyed it, because the scheduled seemed very intense to me.
But with the increased ads and the speculations about future albums, there were pictures of them everywhere. Seeing them, and especially Beau, did not help my crush.
At first, Beau texted me about the famous sites he visited and then we talked a lot about food. He enjoyed trying the different cuisines and talked about how things differed between the countries. He also admitted that the holiday season was making him homesick.
The tour was finishing up and they would all be home before right before Christmas. Beau was looking forward to Christmas dinner, but mostly he just wanted to see his friends and family.
I understood it to a point. I was looking forward to a break from school and getting to spend some time with Amanda, but I wasn't overly excited about having to adhere to all the house rules at home.
At least school would be out for my brother too, so maybe my father would cool it a little with the praises for his football skills.
Or maybe I should try to find a job. That would get me out of the house.
My phone buzzed again. Beau sent a picture of himself with his hair pulled back into a ponytail on top of his head. The hair was long enough on the top to make a tiny little stub. But without the hair covering up his forehead, his entire face was on display. And wow...
This man could rock any kind of haircut, or no hair, for that matter. He had a beautiful bone structure. Wide forehead, high cheekbones and a strong jawline. Twinkling blue eyes and kissable lips. Lips I'd actually kissed... and they were kissable for sure.
I wasn't quite sure how to respond to his text. Should I tease him about trying to be like Justin, or actually admit that he looked good with his hair pulled back?
As it was, I didn't have to decide, because another picture came through of him and Justin, both of them with high ponytails and full grins. Lucas was in the background, laughing.
"Lucas needs one too," I typed. His hair was its usual curly mess, but it might be long enough to get a little pigtail in there.
There was no response for a long time.
I finished my sandwich and returned to studying. I had read most of the chapter when the phone buzzed again. The picture that Beau sent was of the three of them, Justin, Beau, and Lucas. All with their hair pulled back, but not very neatly. Well, except for Justin, but he was used to having his hair in either a man bun or a ponytail.
I laughed out loud. Justin looked bored while Beau and Lucas were laughing, and I could totally picture them goofing off. It was like a look into their actual relationship, and not the personas they presented to the public as members of Trudge Lite. I could've sold that picture for good money, which I'd never do. Those kinds of pictures were treasures, and all mine.
"Doesn't look like Justin likes the competition."
"Lol. He claims we're bothering him."
I laughed again because that sounded about right.
"What about Dane?"
"Not enough hair." But he sent me a picture of Dane, anyway. His dark hair was cropped short, and he was in the middle of drinking a beer. From the look of it, they were in some kind of hotel suite, and they seemed to be alone.
I appreciated that part.
I appreciated it a lot.
***
I finished my last exam and headed towards the cafeteria. I was happy that it was finally over and that I'd survived my first semester of college. My mom wasn't getting me until the following afternoon, so there was no reason to rush. I had plenty of time to relax and pack and planned to do just that.
Max waited for me inside the front doors. He lit up when he saw me and after a quick hug; we walked together towards the food.
"Are you all done with your finals?" Max asked.
"Yeah, I just took my last one. What about you?"
"I've got one more in the morning."
"Ugh," I groaned. "That sucks."
"Tell me about it," he chuckled, but then added, "it's actually not that bad. It should be relatively easy."
I rolled my eyes at him and hoped there would be a day where I could call the finals "easy." They were so different from high school exams.
I got chicken tenders and fries, which Max made fun of, while he chose a burger with a side salad. It was more like a full size salad, but whatever. I knew from experience that Max could eat.
We were on our way to a table when Lance and Alicia walked in. She was smiling as usual and swinging their clasped hands between them. He was more subdued, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. That changed the second he noticed us.
It didn't stop his girlfriend, however. "Hey guys," Alicia said. "How's everything?"
"Good," I responded immediately.
"Hey," Max said. All we got from Lance was a grunt.
"We just had our last final," Alicia beamed. "Thank god that's over."
"I just had my last one, too."
"Oh, awesome. What about you Max? We should all go celebrate."
Max's body stiffened next to me like she'd suggested something terrible. It surprised me even more when he told her he had another final in the morning that he had to study for, because he had made it seem like it was no big deal earlier.
Alicia made a face and said that was "too bad," but Lance looked kind of relieved.
Interesting.
I watched Max as Lance and Alicia said goodbye. The further away they got, the more Max seemed to relax.
Very interesting.
And then things came together for me. Just like that, like a snap of fingers, in the middle of the cafeteria.
It hadn't taken me long at all when I started at the college to figure out that Max was a very popular guy on campus. It was his junior year and most girls and guys seemed to know who he was. He got propositions from girls all the time, some more direct than others. I had witnessed quite a few of them firsthand.
Most of the time, he didn't even react. Sometimes he would interact with the girls for a bit, but it was more so to be polite than anything else. When any of them got too clingy, he'd seek me out.
It was flattering and I was okay with being his buffer.
It had taken me a while, however, to figure out who Max was attracted to, but after witnessing Max and Lance's uncomfortableness around each other, it became clear to me that it wasn't Alicia Max was interested in.
It was Lance.
Max was gay. But not out and proud.
No, Max was very much still buried deep in the closet.
And there was some kind of history between him and Lance...
Once I recognized the reason, it made perfect sense he would choose to hang out with me. I was a safe space for him since I didn't mind that it looked to others like we were a couple. I allowed him to grab my hand in public and hug me in the cafeteria.
It worked for me as well. There was nobody I wanted at school, and appearing to be in a relationship took the pressure off. Plus, there were perks. I'd been invited to more parties and met more people through one college semester than I did during the entire high school.
Max kept me occupied, which kept my mind off of Beau, at least part of the time. And that was a good thing, because I had started to feel things for Beau that I had no business feeling.
********* ~~ *********
And there it is. Max's secret. I usually don't do authors notes but it felt fitting after this chapter.
Many of you already guessed that Max was gay and now Peyton has figured it out too. :)
What will happen to his secret, and what will Peyton do with the information is left to be seen. What do you think?
Do you enjoy their friendship? Or were you hoping for more?
We still have Peyton and her secrets to worry about...
Thank you for reading and voting!