With the communications up and running properly, Tony had gotten to work to bring us some of the luxuries of Earth. Internet and TV. He was in the process of setting up a big screen TV in our quarters and the whole family had been so long without it, it had become this huge event. Everyone was there. Even Sif and the warriors three had come to see what kind of fuss would keep Thor from his duties.
As Tony, Sam, and Tommy messed around with the cables of the TV, the rest of us sat around talking and sharing snacks that Thor had organized in the spirit of home movie night. There were Asgardian candies and puffed grain that wasn't quite like popcorn, but close enough.
The little ones played on the floor. Zak was fascinated with the twins and was doing little dances to try and get them to smile and when they did he yelled excitedly to one of us to look. Flynn was playing with the Vulparev. Throwing a ball around for them and toddling around after them. Ziggy, Anna, and Piper had scraps of fabric that had been brought in as samples for Teddy and Billy's bonding clothing and were making toys with them. While the older twins used a fine needle and stitched carefully, Piper had a large bone needle and was making big crooked stitches in the pieces of felt she had.
It was only Loki and Marya that hadn't shown up yet, though we expected that Marya would be there eventually. She had been excited at the possibility of introducing her new friends to the music and shows she liked.
"How much longer, dad?" Pietro asked.
"God, hold your horses. You know how far this signal has to come?" Tony said.
"Besides," Steve added. "We have to wait for Marya."
Piper picked up her sewing and came over to me. "Gwandma, the fluff won't stay."
"Oh no," I said, picking her up and putting her in my lap. "I'm not great at this stuff. But let me see what I can do."
I began helping her get the stitches so that the stuffing wouldn't immediately fall out. Wanda watched on and tutted a couple of times and I looked up at her and scrunched my nose. "Did you want to do this?"
"Yes," Wanda said, holding her hands out. "Come here my darling. Let Dedeski Dej help you."
Piper climbed over Bucky to get to Wanda and the two began sewing together. A moment later Loki entered the room followed by Marya. Marya had her head down and her hands in her pockets and she came and flopped down on the couch between me and Bruce without saying anything.
"About time, Mar," Pietro teased.
"Sorry," Marya huffed.
Loki cleared his throat. "Before the festivities started, Marya would like to talk to you all. Without judgment or interruption."
"Is something wrong?" Steve asked as Tony, Sam, and Billy came and took a seat.
"No," Loki said. "Nothing's wrong."
"What is it, kiddo?" Clint asked.
Marya looked up and Loki shifted a little awkwardly. "I don't know how to start."
"Brave heart, Mar," Loki said and waved his hand. "I'm right here with you. Just babble through it."
"So... and... you know... I know you won't care... but still, this has been hard because I don't really know," she babbled, as she looked down at her hands. "Like I feel different."
Bruce rubbed her back with a large hand and looked down at her with concern, and I ran my fingers through her dark hair. "Marya?" I said, softly.
Loki came over and crouched in front of her. "Take a deep breath," he said. "Would you like to try again?"
Marya breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. When they spoke they kept their eyes on Loki. "I don't think I'm a girl."
"And?" Loki prodded.
They shrugged. "And I don't think I'm a boy either."
I put my arm around their shoulders. "That's pretty cool that you've found out a little more about yourself," I said. "Do you have anything you need from us? A name you'd rather be called? Different pronouns?"
They shrugged. "I guess... I don't know. I guess I'd rather just be called Mar. And... I guess - I don't mind if you use he or she, but maybe they/them would be better."
Loki smiled and stood. "And there we have it."
Mar smiled and pushed him with their foot. "You're alright," I soothed, rubbing their side. "Do you want to talk about it or just have us accept it?"
"Second one," they said.
"Of course we accept you," Bruce said. "You're still our Mar."
"Yeah," Steve agreed. "And we love you."
They blushed a little and nodded. "I know. I love you too."
"Okay," Sam said. "I know you just said you don't want to talk about it, but... Do you want us to tell your tutors so they don't dead-name you? Or do you need a little more time to come out yourself?"
"No. Can you please do it?" Mar asked.
"Of course," Natasha said. "I'll do it for you."
"Well, this is entirely too sickeningly sweet for me," Loki said. "So I shall take my reprieve. Enjoy your mortal entertainment."
"Mar, my child, we have many treats, get comfortable," Thor said, as I got up and followed Loki out into the hall.
"Loki," I said as the door closed behind me. "A word?"
He stopped and turned to look at me, raising an eyebrow. "Anything for you, my queen," he said, dryly.
"No need for formalities," I teased.
"Great," Loki snarked. "So...?"
"I just..." I took a deep breath and shook my head. "We want them all to be comfortable in their own skins... and I don't know. I feel like I've been lacking. With Mar in particular. They anger so quickly and shut down. But you've always been able to get through. I just wanted to say thank you for being that person they felt safe with no matter what."
Loki's expression didn't change and he looked from me to the guards, and then grabbed my wrist and dragged me down the hall.
"Loki, where are we going?" I asked.
"Hush," he scolded and dragged me into an antechamber at the end of the hall. "Leave us," he said to the guards that stood at either door.
"My queen?" One guard asked.
"It's fine," I assured him.
When they were gone Loki let go of my wrist and looked at me. "I'm going to tell you something and you aren't to speak of. No one would believe you anyway."
"Is something the matter?" I asked, thoroughly confused and more than a little worried.
"Elise Cooper," Loki said. "You are a thorn in my side. I want nothing more than to lie in bed with a lover and tell them how completely stupid and ridiculous my brother is for settling down with useless mortals. I wish to turn all your children against you just because I think that would be funny to watch as the chaos ensued. But Elise, you are quite irritatingly a good person. And not only that - and listen carefully now because this is the most important part - you are a good parent. My parents could not even seem to balance loving two children equally and yet you do it with dozens. They all adore you. Now stop expecting perfection from yourself when you accept far less from everyone around you, including your sibling-in-law who thrives on causing trouble."
I started to cry and Loki sighed dramatically and pulled me into a hug. "By the Allfather, don't you have infinite husbands and wives who could be comforting you right now?"
"They would do that if I deserved it or not," I said, pressing my face against his chest.
"Norns, how low is your self-worth that you need comforting by me," he sighed, rubbing my back. "This had better not get back to them either."
"It won't," I sniffed.
He held me until I got my tears under control and then pushed me back unceremoniously. "As for me, I do like the children, you know?" He said. "They are non-judgemental and like getting into trouble. And if they annoy me, I just give them back to you. I appreciate you haven't let any of the others turn them against me."
"That's not all on me," I said. "You know your brother..."
"Yes, I know," he said, rolling his eyes.
"And I need you to know, Loki," I said, looking at him seriously. "I appreciate you and what you do for not just them, but all of us."
He scoffed. "That sounded hard for you."
I laughed and shook my head. "No. Not at all. But this might be hard for you to hear. You know that word... starts with an L?"
"Oh no," Loki said, turning and starting to stride down the hall. "Don't you say it."
"Loki," I called, coming after him. "Loki, I lo..."
He covered his ears. "Don't do it, Elise."
"I love you, Loki!" I called, stopping my pursuit.
"Why do you have to be like this?" Loki called back. "It's infuriating." He stopped at the end of the hall and turned back to me. "Tell your offspring they know where I am if they need me."
"I will," I called. "Thank you again."
He nodded and disappeared around the corner and I headed back to our chambers where the others were waiting.
"There you are," Bucky said. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," I said, sitting back down between him and Mar. He put his arm around me and Mar cuddled into my side.
"Alright, so we're all here?" Tony asked. "Shall we see what movie Disney has needlessly made a prequel for while we've been here?"
He pressed play on a movie and we all settled in. "Man, I forgot how much I missed TV," Paul sighed.
"We'll get them set up in everyone's places," Tony said. "Don't worry."
"Shh... we're all trying to watch," Becca scolded.
"Yes, this is new for us," Sif agreed. "Let us enjoy it."
I laughed and snuggled between my kid and my husband amongst most of our family. The talk with Loki had been surprising, but I definitely had needed to hear it and I hadn't even been aware of that need. I could be happy with imperfection if this was what imperfection was. That I knew for sure.