Trigger Warning
Manipulation and Sexual Assault
Yeosang's POV
I was practicing the dance to 'The Real' because I decided to stay behind after practice to work on my moves even more. I want to get better with my dancing and stage presence so that maybe I can get recognized and appreciated more. I want to try and get more views on my fancams. The fans seem to like Sannie's stage presence so maybe if I work on my facial expressions and movement, I can do better. I giggled at the thought of acting like San on stage and rushed over to my phone, changing the song to 'Déjà vu'. I pretended like I was San and exaggerated my dance moves, laughing as it felt weird but also funny. I would never do it in front of people because it's embarrassing but it's fun to do alone.
"You're doing it wrong." I jumped in surprise, spinning around as I didn't realise anyone was in the room. I let out a breath of relief when I saw it was just Woojun, our choreographer.
"Hyung, you scared me. I didn't realise you were here," I said.
"I'm sorry, I was just watching your dancing. It's nice but you got the save me part wrong," he said. I did? I thought I did it like San.
"How am I supposed to do it," I asked in confusion. He walked towards me and I expected him to demonstrate it so I could follow along, but he didn't. He walked up behind me and cupped my pants.
"You've gotta cup it tighter," he said as he gave it a squeeze. I yelped and scrambled away from him, not knowing what to do after being put in an awkward position.
"W-Why did you do that," I asked shakily.
"Why did I do what," he asked, seeming confused. Does he really not know what I'm talking about right now?
"Um, you know, grab me like that," I said, ruffling their hair at the back of my head in awkwardness.
"What's wrong with grabbing your arm," he asked me.
"W-What no, that was fine. I mean, the other part you grabbed," I said nervously. To my surprise though, Woojun chuckled, not at all embarrassed.
"There's nothing wrong with doing that Sang, I have to do things like that to help you boys all the time," he shrugged. He does it all the time? I'm pretty sure I've never seen him do it before. But I mean if he does do it, then maybe I overreacted.
"Do you do it with the other's sometimes," I asked nervously.
"Of course, I always have to help them. In fact I helped San learn that very move and I've helped the other's with similar stuff, especially Wooyoung," he replied immediately. I relaxed at his words, giggling and feeling silly for reacting so rashly. If the other's do it, then clearly it's fine.
"I was so confused at first but if you've done it with the other's then it's fine," I said, giving him a small smile in which he reciprocated.
"Of course it's ok Sangie, I'd never do something that wasn't," he said, shaking his head. That's true. Woojun has helped us with our choreographies since predebut. Actually, this gives me an idea.
"Hyung, do you think maybe you could help me out a bit more because I feel like I've been a bit lacking in my dance and presence on stage and I want to better," I asked him.
"Of course I can, in fact I can take you for extra lessons outside of practice if you would like. Just one on one lessons to focus on specific things," he agreed. It immediately excited me and I nodded quickly. I'm eager for any help I can get, especially when it's from such a good dancer and choreographer. He seemed fine at first but then he frowned and looked away, deep in thought, confusing me.
"What's wrong," I asked, hoping he wasn't going to go back on his offer. I could really use the help.
"I'd love to help but I have so much going on and I might not have much time," he said with a sigh. Oh no. I bit my lip sadly, trying to think of any possibilities that he could free up some time.
"Is there anything I might be able to do to help you finish some stuff so you have more time," I asked. He turned and looked at me for a few seconds before sighing and shaking his head, looking away again. Wait, what was that? Clearly he had an idea. I walked over quickly, moving to stand in front of him.
"What is it," I asked quickly.
"I thought of something that I used to do with the other's to help make more time so I could teach them more. But I don't want to ask too much and you'll probably say no," he said, stepping away from me slightly. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's fine considering the other's did it.
"Whatever it is, I'll do it," I said, shaking my head. Woojun looked at me up and down before slowly walking closer to me. I was confused but I didn't do anything, not understand what he was doing. When Woojun reached me, he placed his hands on my hips and slowly pushed me back. I was unsure what to do but pretty soon my back made contact with the mirror and Woojun moved one of his hands to rest beside my head. I blinked quickly and looked up at him nervously.
"What're you doing," I asked quietly.
"It's something I used to do with Wooyoung all the time," he said gently. He did?
"I always get stressed a lot and it builds up. I usually have to do different things for hours to relieve stress but doing this will help me relieve it quicker and I'll have more time to help you practice," he explained.
"It's what I was mentioning I did with the other's," he added. I was nervous and a little uncomfortable but if it's something my best friend used to do, then surely it's fine for me to do as well.
"I've also don't it with Hongjoong and Yunho," he told me.
"Ok. So um, what exactly is it we do," I asked. I'm not really very experienced when it comes to these kinds of things. Woojun didn't reply, instead he moved his hands to the top of my shirt and slowly begun to undo the buttons. I swallowed nervously and clenched my fists open and closed, not sure what I was supposed to do.
"We're just going to have a little bit of fun, it's nothing to worry about," he said gently.
"I don't really know what to do," I said, giggling nervously.
"It's fine, I'll do all the work," he said as he finished unbuttoning my shirt, pushing it off my shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. It was kind of cold and awkward but I took a deep breath and nodded.
"Ok," I replied quietly. Woojun suddenly leaned forward and captured my lips in a deep kiss, catching me completely off guard. I wanted it to stop so I quickly pushed him away.
"What're you doing," Woojun asked with a frown.
"Um, it caught me off guard. I don't really know what to do because I've never kissed anyone before," I said nervously. I know, that's a bit embarrassing because I'm 22 and haven't kissed someone before, although I guess now I have.
"Aww, you're adorable," he cooed, making me go even more red.
"Are you sure this is something the other's did," I asked.
"Of course, it's just something normal that many people do," he replied.
"Ok, I'm sorry for interrupting," I apologized. He just nodded and leaned forwards, kissing me again. I was still uncomfortable but I didn't say anything, figuring since it's normal and the other's do it, I should do it anyway. I yelped slightly when he bit my lip before he shoved his tongue into my mouth. I don't get why people like that so much. I lifted my hands up, clutching to his shirt to stop myself from shoving him away. Woojun pushed even closer so we were flushed together and I started to feel more uncomfortable. I know I should be doing it but I don't know why it just seems so uncomfortable. Woojun stopped kissing my lips and moved to kiss my neck instead. I squirmed uncomfortably but he grabbed my hips and held me in place. He continued to kiss my necking, beginning to moan and rut against me. I took a deep breath and turned my head away. It's ok and it's normal, I just have to put up with it.
~~~~~
It was a week later and we were all practicing together, just going over some old choreography to keep it embedded in our minds.
"Look at Yeosangie go, he's been improving so much lately," Yunho said. I'm happy he noticed, it means all the extra practicing is working.
"Thank you, I've been practicing a lot. Woojun has been helping me a lot," I told them.
"Hyung is proud," Hongjoong said as he walked over and ruffled my hair. I keened at the praise and Wooyoung giggled, latching on to me.
"You're adorable Sangie," he said happily. I rolled my eyes, shoving him off as we continued to practice. I stayed in a permanent good mood the entire time.
After practice, I said goodbye to the boys and went over to an old meeting room on the second floor where Woojun had told me to meet up with him.
"Hey, why're we meeting here," I asked as I walked in.
"It's just to get a little more privacy. I don't want someone to see us and accuse me of favouritism," he said, as he closed the door. I nodded and went to ask what he needs help with for today but before I could even start, Woojun shoved me into the door and his lips were instantly on mine. It was messy and I didn't enjoy it but I didn't say anything. He was quick to move from my mouth to my neck, kissing it urgently. I don't get the rush but maybe he had more stress today. He moved his hand from my hips and cupped my pants tightly. I tried to discretely move away so his hand wouldn't be touching there but Woojun stopped quickly.
"What's wrong," he asked me.
"Can you uh, not touch me there because it feels weird," I asked, flushing slightly.
"Do you want to get better," he asked with a frown, making me panic slightly.
"Of course I do," I replied quickly.
"If you want to get better then you need to do this so we have more time," he told me. I mean, that's true.
"I heard the boys praising you earlier and they'll keep praising you if you keep improving," he said. I bit my lip nervously, thinking back to their praise and nodding slowly. I really did enjoy it, it felt like I really accomplished something.
"I did this with Hongjoong all the time, it helped him a lot," he added. I felt more reassured knowing it was the leader who did it. Hongjoong is someone who I look up to and trust a lot.
"Ok," I said quietly with a nod. Woojun immediately returned to what he was doing, except not touching me there this time. After about a minute though, his hand slid down to my belt and he slowly unbuckled it before discarding it off to the side. I whimpered slightly, not really sure what to do but Woojun continued on. He unbuckled my pants and slipped them down, letting them drop to the floor. I started to panic slightly. I don't really think extra practice is enough for this, but then again, Hongjoong thought it was so I should just let him continue. Woojun placed his hand onto my thigh and I tensed, unsure if I could actually continue but before anything could go further, there was the sound of someone trying to open the door, which was apparently locked. Woojun scrambled back, pulling me away from the door.
"Pull you pants up and stay quiet," he told me hurriedly. I was confused but did as he asked, pulling them up and buckling them back up. Woojun unlocked the door and opened it to show Seonghwa standing outside.
"Why was the door locked," he asked with a small frown.
"I don't actually know. Yeosang probably accidentally locked it," Woojun shrugged. I was confused as to why he lied but I remembered him saying he doesn't want people to think he's showing favouritism.
"Of course," Seonghwa said with a chuckle and a nod.
"I know you were going to be practicing but there's been a last minute vocal practice for us scheduled and we need Yeosang," Seonghwa said.
"Of course, it's fine. Good luck," Woojun said.
"Bye Hyung," I replied before following Seonghwa off.
"Sangie," Seonghwa said as we walked down the hall. I hummed in reply.
"It's good to practice to get better but you shouldn't overwork himself," he said softly.
"I won't and Woojun Hyung wouldn't let me," I replied, receiving a nod in return.
"Woojun Hyung is a good choreographer, we're lucky to have him," he said.
"We really are," I replied as we headed over to the vocal room.
~~~~~
It's been about 3 weeks since Woojun has started working with me and it really has been helping a lot but I'm beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable with what we're doing. I know I need to do it to get better and it's a normal thing to do but perhaps I'm just not normal because I'm not really liking it. Thankfully, I'm not the only person who has done it before so at dinner I can ask the other's how far they went, so I can see what I can get away with not doing.
When it was finally dinnertime, we were all sitting together and happily eating our noodles with kimchi. We were talking and relaxing and somehow the topic of how I'm improving came up.
"I'm honestly really impressed Sang, you're improving a lot and really quickly," Yunho said, flashing me a small smile.
"Yeah, I'm glad your hard work is really paying off," Seonghwa said with a nod. Wooyoung giggled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder happily. I smiled happily at their praise, glad to see that everything I was doing was paying off. I felt a little bad though because it might sound like I'm complaining when it's all been helping me so much. But I've never done anything at all like this before so I want to know what I should do.
"Hongjoong Hyung," I spoke up. He hummed and glanced over at me, eating some more of his noddles.
"How far did you go with Woojun when he was helping you with your dance," I asked him. Everyone went quiet at my words and I felt nervous, worried they wouldn't be too happy that I was complaining. Hongjoong paused before slowly lowering his chopsticks and frowning.
"What do you mean," he asked slowly.
"You know, cos he always has so much stress built up and not enough time so to help out and to save time, you do stuff to help with the stress," I said with a shrug. There was a clatter and I looked over to see that Seonghwa had dropped his chopsticks and spilt some of his noodles but he surprisingly didn't make a fuss about it. He was just watching me with wide eyes. I can't remember if Woojun said he ever helped Seonghwa out so he might not know. I didn't dwell too much because my attention was drawn back to Hongjoong as he begun talking again.
"What stuff are you referring too," he asked me. Oh god, is he seriously asking me that. And in front of the Maknae? I hate talking about this kind of stuff, it's embarrassing.
"You know, kissing, and, other stuff," I said turning slightly red. I glanced over at Jongho, feeling more embarrassed but Jongho was just watching me with wide eyes. Why couldn't I have done this with just Hongjoong, it would be a lot less awkward. I also distantly registered that Wooyoung had slowly retracted his arm from my shoulder.
"What other stuff? Like sex," Hongjoong asked. Don't just go and blurt that out, how is he not embarrassed.
"This is so embarrassing," I said as I giggled and covered my face to hide how flush it was. I let out a sigh to calm down before continuing.
"No not sex, well not yet. I don't really wanna lose my virginity to him if possible but other stuff. Woojun told me about how he's done stuff like that before and I just wanted to know how far you went, to judge how far I need to go," I explained. There was a bang and I jumped in surprise, turning to see Wooyoung's chair on the floor as he ran from the room. I was concerned as he looked teary-eyed which means he might not be feeling well but Mingi was quick to follow after him so I let them go. I looked back to Hongjoong, ready to continue but the words left me as I was shocked to see that tears were falling down Hongjoong's face. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, probably looking like a gaping fish on land, before I turned to look at the other's in confusion. Like Hongjoong, Yunho, San and Seonghwa were all crying and Jongho wasn't but he looked a little pale. I was confused, not sure why everyone was suddenly crying. Is there a sickness going around?
"What's wrong? Why are you all crying," I asked in concern. Hongjoong got up from his seat and walked over, righting Wooyoung's seat before sitting in it and facing me.
"Sangie did Woojun say that he's done sexual activities with us to help with his stress so he could make time to help us, and you should do the same so he can help you," he asked me. See, finally someone is making sense. I nodded quickly in reply.
"Yeah, Woojun told me about it because I was a little nervous and apprehensive at first. But since you guys did it as well, I figured it was fine," I said with a shrug.
"I'm gonna fucken kill him." I was surprised by the sudden outburst from the Maknae and I frowned.
"What's going on," I asked as I looked around. There was a sudden sob and I glanced over to see San with his head in his hands, just crying into them. I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable, not understanding what was going on and I looked back to Hongjoong.
"Hyung, what's going on," I asked, repeating my previous question as I bit my lip nervously. Hongjoong looked pained as he slipped his hands into mine and squeezed them gently, worrying me more.
"Yeosang, none of us have done anything like that with Woojun before. In fact it's actually not allowed, he's not even really allowed to touch any of us even when teaching," Hongjoong told me. Wait, what? This is just getting more confusing. Woojun is allowed to do stuff, he said he wouldn't do anything is isn't allowed to do and he said he did stuff with them.
"Woojun said it's normal and he did stuff with some of you guys as well," I said, shaking my head. More tears begun to fall down Hongjoong's face and he squeezed my hand tighter. He took a deep breath before replying.
"Yeosang he lied. He said all that to get you to agree with doing things with you. He manipulated you," he said in a pained voice. No. No, he's lying. Hongjoong's lying. My blood ran cold and I quickly stood up, yanking my hands from Hongjoong's grasp. I shook my head quickly as my heart begun to pound.
"You-You're lying. He said, he s-said you did it as well. It's f-fine, it's normal," I said. Hongjoong face crumpled slightly and my eyes begun to well up.
"I know he did, but he lied aegi. He lied and we're not going to let him get away with it ok," he said quickly. He's lying. Hongjoong is lying to me. He, he- Hongjoong would never lie to me. Not about something like this. I started to panic, thinking about everything I did with Woojun, everything I did because I thought it was ok, things I've never done with anyone before. Hongjoong stepped forward and reached out to me but I quickly hurried back and shook my head, feeling overwhelmed and disgusting.
"No, no, no." I just kept repeating the phrase over and over as I begun to cry and shake my head. There was sudden hand on my shoulder and I screamed, yelling at them to go away as I stumbled backwards and fell to the floor, gasping for breath.
Hongjoong's POV
"Hongjoong Hyung," Yeosang said softly. I hummed and looked at the younger boy, cuddled up with Wooyoung.
"How far did you go with Woojun when he was helping you with your dance," he asked. I'm sorry, what? Everyone went quiet and stopped eating, turning their attention to Yeosang and I felt slightly uneasy. That's ok, there's no need to jump to conclusions, I could be completely misreading this and get worried about nothing. I placed my chopsticks down and frowned slightly.
"What do you mean," I asked slowly, hoping it wasn't anything bad. Please, please tell me it isn't anything serious. Not with Yeosang, not with our innocent little angel.
"You know, cos he always has so much stress built up and not enough time so to help out and to save time, you do stuff to help with the stress," he said. My breath caught in my throat and my heart begun to pound. I watched as Seonghwa froze, his eyes going wide as the chopsticks slipped from his hand. I could see the horror in his eyes and the other's all looked shocked, understanding the implications. I understood it as well, it's pretty hard to misinterpret what he said but I can't believe it. I just can't, I don't understand.
"What stuff are you referring too," I asked him as he turned back to face me. His cheeks went slightly pink as he blushed. He blushed like he was shy and embarrassed, not at all understanding that something could be wrong.
"You know, kissing, and, other stuff," he said, blushing an even deeper shade of red. No, no way. Other stuff? What other stuff? It's the other stuff that scares me. I gripped the table tightly, trying not to do something stupid.
"What other stuff? Like sex," I asked. Please say no. I'm hoping and begging with my whole heart that Woojun didn't get that far with him, that at least some of his pure innocence would be intact.
"This is so embarrassing," he said as he giggled and hid his face in his hands. I couldn't stop myself from crying at the picture in front of me, realising just how innocent the boy was.
"No not sex, well not yet. I don't really wanna lose my virginity to him if possible but other stuff. Woojun told me about how he's done stuff like that before and I just wanted to know how far you went, to judge how far I need to go," he said. We always joke around, saying he was gullible and innocent, I never thought that someone would ever use that knowledge to manipulate the younger boy. I saw tears streaming down Wooyoung's face and he went deathly pale before he shot up, throwing his chair back and running from the room. We all watched him in concern but Mingi was the one who jumped up quickly and ran after him. I felt bad, because I know Wooyoung will be blaming himself for not protecting his best friend. I fought back a sob, knowing Wooyoung is going to be right because we all failed to protect him.
"What's wrong? Why are you all crying," Yeosang asked as he looked back over at me. This is going to be a tough conversation. One that I don't want to have, but one that I need to. I quickly got up and moved closer, sitting down on Wooyoung's chair so I could face him.
"Sangie did Woojun say that he's done sexual activities with us to help with his stress so he could make time to help us, and you should do the same so he can help you," I asked him, only just managing to keep my voice steady. I felt sick to my stomach as Yeosang's eyes practically lit up and he nodded quickly.
"Yeah, Woojun told me about it because I was a little nervous and apprehensive at first. But since you guys did it as well, I figured it was fine," he shrugged. My heart broke slightly as I realised Yeosang never actually wanted to do anything, he only did it because Woojun manipulated him into thinking some of us did it so he could take advantage of him.
"I'm gonna fucken kill him." You and me both Jongho, you and me both.
"What's going on," Yeosang asked, seeming confused. I went to reply but San suddenly broke down into sobs, dropping his head into his hands. After a few seconds, Seonghwa wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly.
"Hyung, what's going on," Yeosang repeated to me. I can't not say anything, I need to tell him. I grabbed his hands and squeezed them gently, wanting to give him some comfort. Although it was probably as much for my comfort as it was for his.
"Yeosang, none of us have done anything like that with Woojun before. In fact it's actually not allowed, he's not even really allowed to touch any of us even when teaching," I told him. I could see the fear and denial already starting to seep into his eyes and it felt like my heart was slowly being compressed.
"Woojun said it's normal and he did stuff with some of you guys as well," he denied, shaking his head. I love my members more than anything and to see one of them slowly break down in front of me is the worst feeling ever but I couldn't do anything to stop it. I squeezed his hand tighter and took a deep breath before continuing.
"Yeosang he lied. He said all that to get you to agree with doing things with you. He manipulated you," I said sadly. I watched the light slowly dim from Yeosang's eyes as panic overtook him. I tried to help but before I could, Yeosang jumped up and ripped his hands from mine.
"You-You're lying. He said, he s-said you did it as well. It's f-fine, it's normal," he said as he backed away. I almost broke down right then and there but I knew I needed to stay strong so I didn't.
"I know he did, but he lied aegi. He lied and we're not going to let him get away with it ok," I told him. His eyebrows furrowed and he seemed to be having an internal debate with him so I stepped forwards and gently held my hand out to him, wanting to help him but he moved away quickly.
"No, no, no," he repeated continuously under his breath as he cried. Jongho suddenly moved forward and before I could stop him, he placed his hand on Yeosang's shoulder. I know he was just trying to help calm him down but it had the complete opposite effect as Yeosang cried out and yelled to stay away. He dropped to the floor and moved away quickly, huddling up into a ball. This isn't something I've been trained for, not something I know how to handle properly. I looked towards the eldest, hoping he might know how to help but Seonghwa was busy trying to console San an Yunho who were both sobbing. Jongho had jumped back as if he had been burned after Yeosang yelled and he had tears in his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't mean to make it w-worse," he apologized shakily.
"It's ok Jjongie," I said but Jongho let out a sob and ran from the room. I cursed and started to panic, not knowing what to do when there were so many people who were crying and scared. I focused back on Yeosang though, because he's the one who needs someone to be there for him the most.
"Yeosang," I called out gently. I tried to move closer but he didn't seem to like that.
"Get away from me," he yelled, making me stop.
"It's ok Sang, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'd never hurt you," I said softly. He cried harder, shaking his head and moving his hands to grab onto his hair. He started to tug harshly at it and my eyes went wide. He was pulling it hard enough to hurt and my protective instincts kicked in. I lunged forwards, trying to stop him from hurting himself but he pushed me away harshly.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME," he screamed. Shit, I don't know what to do. I'm running out of ideas and I don't know how to help him. I was beginning to panic but there was a slam and rushed footsteps. A few seconds later, Wooyoung rushed into the room. He immediately spotted Yeosang and he rushed over, kneeling down a little away from Yeosang, despite the obvious tears that were on his face.
Wooyoung's POV
Mingi hugged my tightly as I cried into his shoulder on my bed, just letting me get it all out.
"Shh, it's ok," he whispered.
"It's not I sobbed. I was shocked and horrified at what I had just heard. I know Yeosang is innocent, we all know that. We've joked around on numerous occasions about how he was the type of person who would believe you if you said a dog was a cat. I've always been there for him, always making sure to steer him away from trouble whenever he didn't understand it was there, but I failed this time. The time it mattered the most, is the time where I didn't protect him. As trainees at BigHit, I was one of Yeosang's only friends, the one he felt comfortable and closest to. He confided in me one night as we were cuddling on the old rickety bed. He told me that he'd never done anything with anyone, he hadn't even had his first kiss and I know for a fact that he still hadn't. I hate that his first kiss has been stolen from him by a creep, amongst possibly other firsts. I heard a scream and I tensed, hugging Mingi tighter with a sniffle, knowing it was most likely my best friend. I took a deep breath and my crying slowed down as I just clung to Mingi. There was another yell and I pulled away from Mingi, looking towards the door. It's definitely Yeosang and he's in distress but I'm not sure if I should help. About a minute later, there was a louder, more shrill scream and I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up and slammed the door open, running to the loungeroom. I looked around frantically and my heart broke to see Yeosang huddled up and crying in the corner. Poor Hongjoong was beside him, looking hopeless and out of his depth. My main focus right now though is to do anything I can to look after my best friend. I moved over and knelt down beside him gently called his name.
"Sangie," he said softly. Yeosang finally lifted up his head, looking over at me tearfully, continually sobbing. I smiled gently, trying to reassure him.
"Hey Sang, it's ok, everything's going to be ok. I know it's a lot to process at once and I know you probably feel betrayed but I'm here. I promise I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," Wooyoung said tearfully.
"I didn't know, I thought it was ok," Yeosang sobbed as he brought his knees to his chest.
"I know that, you didn't do anything wrong," I said with a nod. I felt terrible that I wasn't able to protect him, especially knowing how innocent and easy he is to take advantage of. I just never thought that someone close to us that we trusted, would ever be the one to use that fact to their advantage.
"I-I'm disgusting," he cried and my heart broke even more.
"No you aren't Yeosang, you aren't disgusting. Woojun is the disgusting one," I said.
"I just, I gave myself to him. I'm basically a whor-."
"No! Don't you dare call yourself that Yeosang. You are nothing like a whore and you did not just give yourself to him," Hongjoong burst in firmly. I swear, if I ever see Woojun again, I will beat him so badly he'll end up in hospital for months. Yeosang just continued to cry but he held out his arms to me. I quickly rushed over and didn't hesitate to pull him into my arms to comfort him. Yeosang clutched to me tightly and he buried his head into my neck, sobbing sadly. I fought back tears of my own as I hugged him as tight as I could without hurting him. I saw Hongjoong slowly moving over as he nodded to Yeosang.
"Sangie, it's just Hongjoong coming over ok, you're safe," I said softly. He nodded into my neck and held his hand out behind him to which Hongjoong gently slipped his hand in to.
"I just wanna get some sleep," Yeosang whispered with a sniff.
"Ok. I can take you up to bed if you want," I replied.
"N-No, I don't wanna go alone," he whimpered.
"Shh, that's ok. I'll stay with you the entire time," I promised, tightening my hold around him. There was some movement and Yeosang and I both looked up, Yeosang turning his head to look behind himself. We watched as Seonghwa gently knelt down in front of us, tears painting his features. He slowly lifted his hand and moved it until it was lightly cupping Yeosang's cheek. Yeosang tensed lightly in my arms but he didn't pull away. Seonghwa sniffled and stroked his cheek delicately.
"You can have a good rest ok. You just take your time and we'll work everything out alright. I promise you'll never see that bastard again," he said softly.
"Thanks Hyung," Yeosang whispered wetly.
"I'm sorry for being so stupid," Yeosang said quietly.
"Don't be sorry because you aren't stupid and you did absolutely nothing wrong," Yunho said quickly.
"We love you, so much Sang, just remember that," Hongjoong said gently. Yeosang nodded before we both slowly stood up. I gently guided him up to our room and closed the door. We went straight to his bed and laid down, cuddling up together.
"Please don't leave me," he begged as he held me tightly.
"I promise I won't, I never would," I said firmly. He sniffled before sitting up suddenly, pulling me up with him. I was confused but I allowed myself to be pulled up.
"I never kissed anyone before, I never did anything with someone before. I just wanted to get better and be more like you and Sannie," he said sadly as tears fell silently down his face.
"I know," I said with a sigh.
"I tell you what. Everything you did with that asshole doesn't count. It wasn't something you wanted, not with someone you cared about, you loved. Between the two of us, I wouldn't say you've actually had your first kiss yet," I said. His eyes lit up slightly, becoming less dull and hopeless than before.
"Are you being serious," he asked me and I nodded.
"It doesn't count because it wasn't proper. You didn't get that beautiful moment with someone you trust and love to explore things so I say bullshit. We can decide what we want and I say you can still have your first ok," I said, squeezing his ankle softly. I want Yeosang to be able to at least keep something from this horrible experience, something he can do again. I just want to make him feel better in any way I can. We were quiet for a little bit, just sitting in front of each other quietly.
"Do you love me," he asked suddenly. Is my name Wooyoung? I smiled and cupped his neck gently with one hand.
"I love you to the moon and back Kang Yeosang. You're my best friend," I told him.
"Can you kiss me," he asked quietly. I was taken aback, not at all expecting that question.
"What do you mean," I asked in confusion.
"You said we'd say I haven't had my first kiss yet and I'd rather get it over with. With someone I trust and love, and who loves me back," he said. Yeosang and I both know we don't like each other, it's not a matter of that. Now under normal circumstances if Yeosang was nervous about his first kiss and asked to have it with me, I would've done it. However, I know that right now Yeosang is in a very vulnerable position and I would never do anything when he's in a vulnerable state, no matter how much he may ask or say he consents to it. I moved my hand down to his, linking our fingers together.
"Save it Sang. Save it for when you find someone you love and who you cherish. Don't waste it on me," I said softly.
"I love and cherish you, you're my best friend. And I'm comfortable with you," he sniffled.
"I know. But one day you'll find someone you will love romantically for the rest of your life and you can save your first kiss for then," I told him gently. Yeosang chuckled gently and leant forwards, hugging me tightly.
"Thank you, for always being there for me," he said quietly.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop what happened," I said sadly.
"It's not your fault Wooyoung, you've always done your best to be there to look after me," he said.
"Are you gonna be ok," I asked. Ok, dumb question.
"It scares me how it could've happened and how easily he tricked me and you know, what actually happened. But I know Hyung and you guys will look after me and protect me now. Actually, you'll probably be way too overprotective but I don't think I'll mind this time," he said and I nodded.
"We'll do everything in our power to keep you from anymore harm, I promise," I said in reply.
"Could you accompany me to see someone maybe. I think it'll help me feel a bit better but I don't think I'd be comfortable going alone," Yeosang said, pulling away and looking down shyly.
"I would gladly go with you and help you. I'll even sit outside the room while you talk if you want," I said softly.
"Thank you Youngie, I couldn't ask for a better best friend," he said quietly, making me smile.
"I promised 8 years ago that I would be your friend for life and always protect you," I said, making him smile as well. We laid back down and wrapped our arms around each other, cuddling tightly.
"I love you Sangie, so much," I whispered.
"Love you too Youngie," he replied with a yawn. We closed our eyes and snuggled closer, drifting off to sleep safely in each other's arms.