PEYTON
It was close to 2 am by the time we made it back to my dorm. We were both a little drunk and giggling as we struggled to open the back door.
"Don't you have a key fob or something?" Beau asked after I tried to pull the door open for the fifth time without success.
"Oh, yeah."
Beau laughed as I fumbled to get the keys out of my pocket. Once I did, I held them up in triumph. Beau shook his head, still laughing, clearly amused at my drunken behavior. It took me another couple of tries, but I finally got the door open and we made our way up the back staircase.
"Shhh," I warned for the fifteen time. "We have to be quiet because people are sleeping and we don't want them to find out who you are." Then I broke down into hysterical giggles.
"You shush," Beau responded with a wide grin. "You're gonna wake everyone up and then you'll get in trouble."
"Okay, okay." I cleared my voice like that had something to do with being quiet and tip-toed up the rest of the steps. When we came to the door to my floor, I turned around and found Beau looking at me.
"Keep your head down," I hissed in my somewhat newfound bossiness. Maybe it was a drunk thing? I had told him several times to leave his baseball cap on and keep his head down.
He chuckled, but bent his head down and followed behind me as I cracked the door open and looked both ways, like I was part of some kind of secret ops team.
The thought amused me and I tried to hold back a giggle, which only made it worse.
"Shhh," Beau warned.
I took a deep breath and picked up the pace. We didn't encounter anybody until we got close to my door. Thankfully, it was nobody I knew, and she only glanced at Beau, where he walked behind me with his head down before she stepped into a room and pulled the door closed behind her.
"This is it," I announced and pushed open the door to my room, thankful I had left it unlocked, because I was pretty sure I'd be struggling with the key. I turned the light on and locked the door behind us. "Damn, that's bright," I hissed, and turned the light off again.
Beau chuckled.
The room was a typical dorm room. The only difference was that I had pushed both beds together against one wall, which made it a king sized bed instead of two twins. Both beds were made because Becca, Lin and I spent a lot of time watching Netflix and just lounging on there. Becca had fallen asleep on it several times.
I fumbled for the lamp next to my bed and, after a couple of attempts, I managed to turn it on. A soft glow lit up most of the room.
"Nice setup," Beau said as he glanced around.
"Thanks. You can take that side," I said and pointed to the left side of the bed, which was closest to the windows.
"Alright."
I'm not sure what I had expected, but it wasn't for Beau to immediately pull his shirt over his head and drop it over my chair.
I knew he was in shape. It was quite obvious, even though he didn't have the same physique as Max and his football friends. Beau Brisbois was leaner, with corded muscles instead of the bulkiness Max and the football players had.
What surprised me was the amount of tattoos he had. There was nothing hinting to it when he had clothes on, but they filled both shoulders and the upper part of his back with black ink. I didn't have time to determine what kind of tattoos he had before he crawled underneath the covers. But it made me wonder if his chest was covered as well?
Normally, I wasn't really that into tattoos. Probably because the only people I'd known that had them were authoritative assholes, like my high school gym teacher. But on Beau, it was beautiful.
The little butterflies I'd felt earlier in the evening flapped their wings inside my belly. I'd never slept in the same bed as a guy before. And Beau, he wasn't just any guy.
Maybe this was a mistake?
Not that I expected that anything would happen with Beau. It was just that maybe I wanted it to?
Then the butterfly wings flapped for a whole different reason. Beau was a rock star, or at least on his way to becoming one. Why would he want to be with me? With those dark blue eyes, high cheekbones and pouty lips, he could have anyone. Add the rockstar magic to it and it was explosive.
He was just here because he had nowhere else to go.
I felt like a fool. I shouldn't have asked him to come back here.
It was stupid.
I was being so lame.
"Can you turn around?" I asked him. I wanted to change out of my clothes, but my old insecurities came back. Maybe I was a virgin in college for a reason?
Maybe I wasn't attractive, or pretty enough.
My stomach wasn't flat, and my boobs weren't big. Overall, I was an average-looking girl. Maybe I just wasn't special enough.
I could understand that Beau didn't want to have sex with me, but I wouldn't be able to handle if he felt repulsed by me.
I sighed and turned by back towards Beau. He could strip down in front of someone, but I sure as hell wasn't that comfortable.
"I won't look," he said and when I glanced back, he had closed his eyes.
I removed my shoes and socks and worried that my feet would smell. I grabbed my body spray just in case and spritzed my feet a couple of timed.
"What are you doing?" Beau's amused voice asked from the bed. His eyes remained closed, but I still turned light off and kept my back towards him.
"Just making sure I don't stink."
"You don't," he said, "but I like whatever you just sprayed. Smells good."
I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I said nothing.
I dropped the clothes I wore to the floor and changed into the tank top and shorts set I usually slept in.
"Okay," I said as I crawled in on my side of the bed. "You can open your eyes now."
He chuckled softly, but it was too dark for me to see if he had his eyes open or closed.
"Do you need anything?" I asked and realized I should have asked him that before I got into the bed. Thankfully, he said no, so I stretched out and sighed. It had been a long day, and it felt good to lie down.
"Do you like it here?" Beau asked.
"At college, you mean?"
"Yeah."
"I do, mostly. I miss Amanda. She was supposed to go here but..." I wasn't sure how much Beau knew, or if I was allowed to tell him that she couldn't go because her father lost his job.
"She was supposed to go here too?" He sounded surprised.
"Yeah..."
"So what happens? She is in college, right?"
I rolled onto my side so I faced him. My eyes were getting used to the darkness, so I could see the outline of his body underneath the comforter.
"Yeah, community college."
"Oh, yeah. I think Justin said something about her dad losing his job?"
"Yeah. They couldn't afford the tuition here after that."
"How is that for you?"
"Oh, um..." I wasn't sure how to respond to that. People would usually ask how Amanda felt about that once they found out. Nobody had asked me how I dealt with it before.
"I met some new friends, but I miss her a lot."
"Good."
I wondered if she was okay, and whether her dream came true with Dane. She was a big girl, and she knew the risk. I just hoped she wouldn't get hurt.
"Do you think they're having sex?" I asked Beau, thankful for the dark, and clearly affected by the alcohol because that was nothing I would have ever asked before, regardless of whether the room was dark.
He chuckled, and that deep sound did something to me. I enjoyed being the one that amused him, even if it was because I was drunk and asked silly questions. The wings inside my belly flapped.
"Dane and Amanda?" he asked.
"Yeah..."
"I imagine so."
Mandi wasn't a virgin, but she didn't have a lot of sexual experience either. She'd had a brief relationship our senior year during her popular period with one of the baseball players. It hadn't lasted for more than a couple of months, but it had been long enough for her to lose her virginity and experience an orgasm she didn't give herself.
At least that was what she'd told me.
"I hope he doesn't hurt her..."
"Dane would never do anything that would hurt her," Beau said in his defense.
"That's not what I meant." I took a second to breathe and tried to gather my scattered thoughts. The alcohol made it hard to focus.
"I can't promise you she won't get emotionally hurt," Beau said softly once he caught onto what I meant. "He likes to play around, so if she thinks it's more than a hookup, then yeah, she might get hurt."
I sighed because that was exactly what I was afraid of. I knew Mandi had said she was okay with just a one-night stand with him because it was better than nothing, but I wasn't so sure. She had built Dane up to be this dream guy that could do no wrong, and if all he wanted was a quick tumble in the sheets with her... I Just wasn't sure she'd be okay with it in the long run.
Then another thought occurred to me. "Do you think Justin will find out?"
He chuckled. "I'm pretty sure Justin is busy doing the same thing."
I nodded, even though Beau could barely see me. "What about Lucas? Where did he go?"
"Back to the room, I guess."
"But what if Justin is there?"
"I'm not sure he'll care. If Lucas is drunk enough, he'll just pull the blanket over his head and go to sleep."
Eh... what?
"You mean Justin will do it with Lucas in the room?" I asked, mortified.
He chuckled again, and the butterflies inside my belly responded.
"I guess."
"Wow. He doesn't mind?"
I couldn't imagine being intimate with someone if there was another person in the same room.
"I don't think he'd care. It wouldn't be the first time."
I was so out of my comfort zone when it came to anything sex related, but being under the influence of alcohol made me lose lipped and curious.
"What about you?" I asked Beau. "Would you do it with someone in the room?"
"Probably not. I would think it'd be disrespectful to the girl."
Good response. I liked that.
"Will you guys be sharing rooms on tour, too?" I wasn't sure why I asked, but it probably had something to do with him being less likely to fuck around with someone if he shared a room with Dane. As long as Dane was in the room, that was.
I sighed. Why did I even care? He was on the brink of becoming a household name. The world lay at his feet. He would have his pick of anyone he'd want. I knew that, so why did it bother me?
"Yeah."
That answer made me a bit happier, which was stupid since he hadn't given me any reason that he was interested in anything more than friendship with me. And why would he be?
I groaned and closed my eyes. Why did this bother me so much? I'd been fine before tonight.
I had fun at school, and I liked my friendship and whatever flirting I had with Max. But he never gave me the butterfly feeling...
I felt a hand gently caress my face. I opened my eyes and found Beau staring at me. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"Yeah."
"You sure?"
I nodded because I wasn't sure I'd be able to respond with words. Not the way Beau was looking into my eyes, with all my hormones flaring, and the flapping of butterfly wings intensifying.
He smiled softly and used his hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. "You're really beautiful. Do you know that?"
I snorted out an unattractive laugh.
"I mean it." He looked from eyes to my lips a couple of times before he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. And holy shit. There were sparks and fireworks going off inside my head, and the butterflies inside my belly turned into a swarm of bees. I had never felt anything like it before. The guys I'd kissed had nothing on Beau.
I was doomed.