San's POV
I woke up suddenly, not really understanding why it was that I actually woke up. I was in my bed and Wooyoung was cuddled up tightly against me. Usually I would love to wake up with him curled up next to me and would probably just hug him tighter and go back to sleep but tonight I couldn't but it didn't take long for me to realise why. I was covered in sweat, I could feel it soaking into my clothes and I was beginning to feel hot and uncomfortable, especially with Wooyoung pushed right up against me. What made it even worse was that my stomach was beginning to churn as well. I tried to get up, knowing I would need the toilet pretty soon but Wooyoung whined and pulled me closer, nuzzling his face into my neck. I tried to push him away once again, trying not to wake him up but I still couldn't get away from him. It was getting stuffy, my face and neck were burning and I begun to breathe heavily. I tried even harder once again but he just grumbled and moved even closer, ending up basically laying on top of me which was the worst possible thing that could've happened. The new position caused him to be pushing into my stomach and it begun to churn even more. I could almost feel the sensation of the bile crawling up my throat. I whimpered and pushed again, finally deciding not to care if I woke him up. It's better than throwing up on him to wake him up.
"Wooyoung, Youngie please get off," I gasped, managing to shove him to the side a little bit. It woke him up it seems as he sat up, allowing my to stumble to my feet as I was finally free. I heard a soft whine and I looked over to see Wooyoung rubbing his eyes cutely.
"What're you doing Sannie," he asked tiredly and if I didn't feel so bad, I would've cooed. I pushed down the disgusting feeling in my stomach, opting to help get Wooyoung back asleep first. I moved closer and gently pushed him to lay back down.
"S'wrong? Where're you going," he asked with a small yawn.
"I'm just ducking to the toilet," I told him. He let out another sleepy yawn and I quickly ran my fingers through his hair. I waited for a few seconds before I noticed his breathing even out, meaning he was asleep. As soon as my fingers were out of his hair, I rushed out of the room and ran down the halls towards the bathroom. I was still careful as I ran, trying hard not to wake up anyone else. I closed the door behind me and lunged to the toilet, lifting the lid only seconds before I begun to expel my stomach into it. It burned my throat and tasted disgusting, making my eyes begin to water at the sensations. I held back a sob as bile climbed up my throat and I threw up again. My chest was beginning to feel tight and my breathing got heavier. My skin felt sticky and hot and my forehead was burning. After throwing up one last time, I felt too weak and dizzy to even keep my head up so I just leant heavily against the toilet, my breathing coming out in short and sharp pants. I know I should go back to bed but my head is sore and I overall feel like crap so I just closed my eyes to try and get rid of some of the pain. I don't know how long I was sitting there for, it could have been hours, or it could have been minutes but there was the sound of the door suddenly opening. I couldn't find the energy to open my eyes but there were padded footsteps and then I felt a cold palm press against my forehead. The touch was soothing against my burning skin and I immediately leaned into it, it felt a lot better than the side of the toilet and a lot more sanitary. A few seconds later, they tried to pull away and I let out a whimper, grabbing his wrist tightly and moving away from the toilet into them more. They immediately wrapped their arms around me and pulled me close to them. I sat up and pushed my face into their neck, taking a deep breath. It was soothing, his neck was nice and cool and it felt nice again the overwhelming heat I was feeling. I let out a long sigh of relief, relaxing into the embrace and pressing my skin further into their coolness of theirs. I let out a desperate whimper when they began to pull away but they relented and pulled away, still keeping their arms around me though. I blinked my eyes open blearily and looked to see Yeosang frowning at me worried me.
"You're sick Sannie, you're running a fever," he murmured gently. Crap, I wasn't supposed to let anyone know I was sick, I don't really have the option of being sick right now with everything going on.
"I'll be ok," I said with a huff.
"I heard you throwing up San and I can still smell it. Plus your forehead feels as hot as the desert in morocco," he pointed out. Right, I can't exactly hide being sick when he's already seen all that, and, heard, all that. Yeosang sighed and I turned my attention back to him, squeaking slightly when he suddenly wrapped his arms tighter around me and stood up with ease. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly as he flushed the toilet before carrying me out to the loungeroom and placing me down on the couch. The loungeroom lamp was still on so it was still lit up slightly.
"You wait here, I'll be back in a bit but I just need to grab some things," he said. I nodded to him as he left before deflating and cuddling up to the couch. It took a lot of energy to try and look at least a little bit ok in front of Yeosang. He returned a few minutes later with some water, pills and plain crackers.
"Here sanshine, drink some water ok, you need to get some liquids back in you," he said gently. I scrunched up my nose, not liking the idea of making my stomach more full so I might throw up again, not sounding so enticing.
"Please, just a little bit," he asked. I sighed and shuffled forwards a little bit. He held the bottle to my lips and gentle tipped it up. I drunk a few sips before tapping his knee to get him to pull away.
"Now a few crackers, at least two and then you can have the pills," he said. I frowned but nodded, allowing him to feed me two crackers but shaking my head when he offered a third. He gentle helped me swallow the pills before taking the leftovers back to the kitchen. I was feeling drowsy after I swallowed the pills and I was struggling to stay awake. Yeosang hurried back and gently lifted me up bridle style, allowing me to snuggle up in them and slip my eyes closed before he carried me back to my room. He placed me down softly onto the bed and I turned over to cuddle up to Wooyoung, only he wasn't there. I peeled my eyes back open and looked around, realising quickly that I was actually in Woosang's room, on Yeosang's bed.
"I'm sorry. I can take you back to your room if you want, so you can cuddle with Wooyoung," Yeosang said in a small voice. I looked over at him quickly, feeling bad when I saw how crestfallen he looked. His shoulders were slumped slightly and he was looking at the ground, fiddling with his fingers slightly. It didn't take much to know he was feeling unsure and insecure. I remember Wooyoung mentioning once that Yeosang get's anxious and feels useless when he looks after people. He always worried that he'll do the wrong thing, thinking the other's are much better than him so he doesn't usually help us with stuff like this. It means a lot that he's up in the middle of the night looking after me and what I did wasn't very nice. To be honest, I love Yeosang's hugs and I would love a cuddle from him if he'll allow it.
"I want Yeosangie Hyung to cuddle me instead," I said with a pout. I half expected him to cringe but to my surprise, something in his eyes changed and he nodded, his face softening. He turned off his bedside light before slipping under the covers with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close, cuddling me close. He willingly let me snuggle my head into his neck to feel the coolness on my forehead once again.
Yeosang's POV
I woke up in the middle of the night for some reason, not really knowing what it was. Although it probably has something to do with Wooyoung, that idiot always manages to figure out a new way to wake me up at ungodly hours at night. I swear if he's got music on, I will accidentally hit him over the head with a microphone pole in practice. I groaned and sat up, preparing to yell at him but when I looked over at his bed, it was empty. Oh, right. He's gone to cuddle with San, again. I'm surprised that wasn't my first thought. I laid back down and closed my eyes, preparing to go back to sleep when I heard another weird noise and I quickly shot up again. Do we have a ghost, just crawling around making weird noises in the middle of the night? Wait, what the hell is wrong with me? I don't believe in ghosts, I'm not Mingi. Damn, I'm really not myself right now. Either way, it's something and I should probably go try and figure out what it is. I sighed and got up, ignoring the cold air as I left my room to try and find the sound, hearing it once again coming from the bathroom. I immediately registered what it was and I hurried to the bathroom. I opened the door quickly to find San slumped over the toilet, his face pale and his hair sticking to his forehead. Shit, he's sick. I rushed over to him and placed my hand against his forehead, immediately feeling the heat radiating off it and I knew he had a fever. I glanced over and saw the puke in the toilet and I felt bad, knowing he's probably been throwing up alone for a while. And he would've continued if I wasn't such a light sleeper who also happened to sleep next to the bathroom. That's when it fully set in that oh shit, he's sick and I'm the only one awake to look after him. I'm not great at looking after people, not great at all, it would be a lot better if someone else helped him and he'd probably prefer that. I contemplated maybe waking up Seonghwa but I decided against it. They all need their sleep and I can handle this, I hope. I tried to move my hand away but San instantly whined and clutched to my wrist, moving away from the toilet and closer to me. I fought back a soft coo, instead hugging him softly and pulling him closer to me. He moved closer and nuzzled his face into my neck, letting out a sigh of relief and relaxing. I frowned, not liking just how hot his skin felt against mine. I let him sit for a few seconds before deciding it was a good idea to check on him a bit more. I pulled away slightly and felt bad when he whimpered but I know I need to look after him first. I frowned slightly when San opened his eyes as they looked slightly glazed over.
"You're sick Sannie, you're running a fever," I said quietly.
He tensed slightly and straightened out a little bit before replying "I'll be ok," with a huff. Yeah, totally.
"I heard you throwing up San and I can still smell it. Plus your forehead feels as hot as the desert in morocco," I deadpanned. He looked down slightly and was quiet for a few seconds, obviously thinking about an excuse or something. It'll be a lot better to take him somewhere more comfortable, rather than on the cold hard bathroom floor. I sighed and wrapped an arm under his knees and behind his back, standing up quickly with him safely in my arms. He let out a cute squeak and I held back a giggle as he cuddled closer to me. I carried him over to the loungeroom where the lamp was thankfully on and placed him down onto the couch.
"You wait here, I'll be back in a bit but I just need to grab some things," I told him gently before hurrying off to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, plain crackers from the pantry and some medicine from the top cupboard. I rushed back to San, not wanting to leave him alone for too long and found him curled up.
"Here sanshine, drink some water ok, you need to get some liquids back in you," I said softly. He scrunched his nose up cutely, clearly not liking the idea much but I know he needs to eat and drink these things otherwise he'll get worse, plus the medicine will reduce his fever.
"Please, just a little bit," I asked. He sighed before moving forward and I whooped internally. I uncapped the bottle and held it to his lips, understanding that he was a bit tired. He drunk for a little bit before tapping my knee and I pulled away quickly, not wanting to push it too much.
"Now a few crackers, at least two and then you can have the pills," I told him. He nodded with a frown and I carefully fed him one, then another. I tried to give him a third but he shook his head so I pulled my hand back. I popped out two pills and gently gave them to him, helping him wash them down with water.
"Be back in a sec," I said before rushing off. I hurriedly put everything away before rushing back to him. I smiled softly as I noticed his eyes slipping closed and his head nodding down. Poor darling is exhausted. I gently lifted him up bridle style, waiting a few seconds for him to snuggle more in my hold before I carried him down the hall. I was originally going to take him back to his room but Yunho and Wooyoung are asleep and I don't want to accidentally wake them up so I took him to my room, placing him down onto my bed. I felt accomplished, like I actually helped for once. Until he rolled over and pat the bed before opening his eyes and glancing around, obviously looking for Wooyoung. How could I be that dumb to actually think San would prefer to stay here with me over cuddling with his best friend. God I'm an idiot, this is why I should've woken someone up instead of trying to do something I clearly couldn't.
"I'm sorry. I can take you back to your room if you want, so you can cuddle with Wooyoung," I said, unable to meet his eyes so I looked down and gripped my fingers anxiously.
"I want Yeosangie Hyung to cuddle me instead," he said, his voice slightly slurred. My head shot up in surprise, and my heart lifted slightly. He wants me to cuddle him? Does that mean I did actually help? I didn't mess up this time. I always cringe at skinship, especially while filming but truthfully, I love sleeping next to someone because it helps me relax and sleep better. I quickly turned off the bedside lamp and got under the blankets, grabbing San and pulling him close to my side. He snuggled closer to me and tucked his head into my neck. I sighed softly when I felt how hot it still was but it'll hopefully cool down soon. I leant down slightly and placed a gentle kiss to the edge of his hairline, feeling him let out a breath of relief.
"Get some sleep sanshine," I whispered softly but I gained no reply. I was confused but when I looked closer, I realised he had already fallen asleep. I chuckled softly before relaxing and drifting off to sleep as well.
San's POV
I was awoken in the morning to the sound of soft giggles and whispers. I slowly peeled my eyes open and looked to see Jongho, Mingi, Yunho and Wooyoung standing above my bed. Why are they being weird and watching me sleep?
"What're you doing," I asked slightly. Before they could reply, there was a gentle whine and I registered the weight against me, realising someone was cuddled up to me. I looked down and was surprised to see Yeosang breathing softly on my shoulder, his cheeks puffed out and his hair falling softly across his face. Oh, right, last night actually happened.
"Did you get a photo," I asked with a giggle.
"Of course we did," Yunho grinned.
"How'd you get Yeosang to do it," Mingi asked eagerly. Huh, I'm like a celebrity now.
"Did you really leave me in the middle of the night to go cuddle with Sangie," Wooyoung butt in. I almost said that I was sick and he found me but then I remember that we have quite a few schedules over the next few days so I left it to myself.
"I was going to grab a glass of water and he was whimpering in his sleep. He had a nightmare so I stayed with him," I lied.
"Don't mention it to him though, because I promised him I wouldn't tell you guys," I added quickly, trying not to accidentally incriminate myself. They all nodded and Wooyoung looked a little guilty for getting jealous of Yeosang, it's kind of cute though. I feel bad for lying to them so easily but it's better than delaying schedules and being behind. Yeosang begun to stir and I panicked, not wanting him to accidentally give away that I was sick last night.
"Get out and stop annoying us," I said quickly. They grumbled slightly but Jongho quickly ushered them out. Good maknae. Yeosang blinked his eyes open and sat up, yawning as he stretched his arms out.
"Did you sleep well," he asked me, rubbing his eyes slightly.
"I did," I replied, brushing my fingers lightly over his birthmark. He blushed and swatted my hand away quickly but I just smiled.
"How're you feeling," he asked as he placed his palm to my forehead. I'm feeling a lot better than last night, definitely, but my stomach is still iffy and I still feel a little hot. Obviously I'm not going to tell him though.
"I'm feeling good as new. Much better," I said with a smile.
"You still feel a little warm," he said with a frown.
"I'm fine," I said quickly, grabbing his hand and pulling it away from my forehead.
"I don't want you practicing when you're still sick. You stay in bed and I'll let the other's know you aren't feeling well," he said as he stood up. I panicked and lunged forwards, grabbing his wrist to stop him and making him pause.
"What's wrong," he asked with a frown.
I took a small breath before replying. "Please don't tell the other's I was sick last," I asked desperately.
"You're still sick San," he said, shaking his head.
"I'm feeling a lot better and I don't want them stressing. Please don't say anything," I begged, making him frown.
"I can't do that because I don't want something to happen to you. Especially because I won't be there to keep an eye on you," he said.
"I don't want them stressing over nothing Sang," I said.
"Vomiting and a fever isn't nothing Sannie," he replied.
"I'm really feeling fine now. I promise I'll let someone know if I start feeling bad again but until then, I don't want anyone to worry," I groaned. I watched as his face dropped slightly and he sighed in resignation.
"I won't tell anyone, but you have to if you start to feel bad again," he said finally.
"Thank you," I said happily, giving him a quick hug.
"Yeah, yeah, let's go get ready now," he said.
~~~~~
Later on in the day, Wooyoung, Yunho, Mingi and I were all in the dance practice room, getting ready to go over some of the choreographies. The other four are all unavailable. Hongjoong is in his studio, Yeosang is out MCing and the other two have a photo shoot that they missed out on a few weeks ago. The first hour went just fine, I made little mistake but nothing to noticeable. But then I started to feel worse. I was sweating more and I felt slightly dizzy. On our next break, I quickly went over to my drink bottle and took a long drink, trying to get more hydrated to get rid of the dizzy feeling. We started up once again and I tried to dance as hard as I usually do, I really did, but I couldn't find the energy. It frustrated me but I couldn't do anything about it. We were halfway through when I stumbled and tripped over, causing Yunho to pause the music.
"You alright," Wooyoung asked me.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said quickly. Yunho restarted the music and I tried my hardest but I stumbled again, only this time I fell into Mingi.
"San, seriously? Stopping mucking around," Mingi groaned, clearly annoyed. I felt bad for messing up and messing him up as well.
"I'm sorry," I said, looking down as I hurried back to my spot. We restarted again and continued practicing. As we were going through, my stomach started to churn and I was beginning to have a little trouble breathing, much like last night. I know I promised Yeosang I would tell someone but I can't, they already seem annoyed with me. By the end of the run-through, I was feeling hot, dizzy, exhausted and just overall sick.
"Let's go again," Yunho said and I groaned at the thought. I feel like shit and I don't know how I'll go but the groan caused the three of them to look at me in annoyance. Even Wooyoung looked unhappy with me and I bit my lip nervously.
"What? Choi San too good for practice now," Yunho asked with a scoff. My eyes went wide and was shocked, shaking my head quickly.
"I'm sorry," I said quickly. I didn't mean to upset them and cause such a fuss. None of them replied, Yunho just started the music and we got back into it. We continued to practice and I kept feeling worse and worse. My mind was starting to feel a little fuzzy and I was overheating. In the middle of yet another run-through, my stomach churned and I stopped suddenly, not wanting to spill my guts in the middle of the floor. Unfortunately, me stopping in the middle of song, caused Wooyoung to trip over me and fall to the floor. I gasped in shock as Wooyoung groaned and the other two hurried over.
"What the hell San? If you're going to keep mucking around and not take this seriously then you should just get out," Mingi snapped. I am taking it seriously, I never meant to hurt Wooyoung, I never would. I reached my hand out to try and help the younger out but to my shock he slapped my hand away and stood up himself. I felt a sharp stab through my heart and my eyes welled up slightly. I was sick, ashamed and hurt and it was beginning to feel overwhelming.
"I-I'm so sorry," I apologized quickly.
"You should just go back to the dorm, let us actually get some work done," Yunho said with a sigh. Are they, are they kicking me out? No one has ever been kicked out of practice, am I really doing that bad? I glanced at the other two, Mingi was just glaring at me and Wooyoung wouldn't look at me. I guess they are.
"Sorry," I said, nodding quickly before rushing out of the room. I planned to go back to the dorms but I felt humiliated and sick and I really just wanted to be close to someone, to be held to make it feel better. So I went to the only other person left in the building that I'm comfortable with. When I got to the studio, I stumbled inside and closed the door, seeing Hongjoong immediately spin on his chair to face me. I felt the need for cuddles so I hurried over to him.
"Hyungie," I whined, crawling up into his lap. To Hongjoong's credit, he didn't miss a bit and just wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly. I was feeling a little cloudy and tired so I just let Hongjoong lean me back so he could look at me. I was just happy to have any sort of comfort while I can get it, as Hongjoong isn't mad at me, yet. I felt something cold on my forehead and I focused back to realise it was Hongjoong's hand although I didn't even notice him move. He moved his hand away and I whined, my eyes welling up slightly as I tried to get the gentle coolness back. I startled slightly when there was a soft kiss on my forehead but it sated me a bit. The main problem now was how hot it is.
"It's too hot Hyung," I said with a sniffle. He frowned and brushed my hair back delicately.
"Why aren't you at practice," he asked. I thought back to the practice and how useless I was, how much I angered the other's. I didn't even realise I was shrinking in on myself until Hongjoong lifted me in his lap and pulled me closer to his chest. I quickly clutched his top and rested my head on his shoulder, snuggling my head into his neck which like Yeosang's, was nice and cool.
"San-ah, why aren't you in practice darl," he repeated.
"Got kicked out cos I was too useless and made too many mistakes," I said sadly. I felt him tense slightly and he was quiet for a few seconds, making me worry he was annoyed.
"It's ok, I'm sure you were great as always Sannie, people make mistakes," he said softly. I let out a breath of relief and nodded, thankful that at least one person wasn't unhappy with me. I'm tired and all I want, is to relax so I looked up more at Hongjoong.
"Can we cuddle please Hyung," I asked quietly, hoping by some miracle, he might let us do it and I can have some time to relax.
Hongjoong's POV
Being in an airconditioned room for over an hour without a jacket can make you quite cold but I'm honestly too lazy to get up and turn it off, so coldness it is I guess. I was just sitting and fixing up a few things with the new soundtrack when the door was suddenly swung open. I wasn't expecting anyone to come so I spun around, seeing San standing in the doorway. I was immediately concerned when I noticed he was sweating and panting but then again, he was at practice I guess. But why is he here now?
"Hyungie," he whined as he stumbled over and crawled into my lap on the chair. I was surprised but I quickly wrapped my arms around him so he wouldn't accidentally fall off. I could straight away feel the heat radiating off him, which should be a concern since he's come from practice but it just feels too hot. I pushed him back a little, wanting to get a better look at him to see if I could figure out what was wrong and what cause this impromptu visit. His eyes were slightly glazed and cloudy and he didn't look too aware. Is he sick? I quickly placed my hand on his forehead and almost gasp at the heat I felt there. He definitely has a fever right now. I moved my hand back and San whimpered so I placed a kiss to his forehead, making him relax again.
"It's too hot Hyung," he said with a sniff. I bet it would be, poor darling is a bit under the weather. I gentle brushed his hair back, frowning slightly as I wondered why he was here. Why wasn't he being look after by Yunho, Mingi or Wooyoung? He was there with them practicing and that's probably when he started feeling sick, why wouldn't they look after him and take him home?
"Why aren't you at practice," I asked him, trying to gauge what was going on. His eyes glazed over a little bit more and he started to curl in on himself, clearly upset about something. I quickly slipped my hands under his thighs and lifted him up, bring him closer. He immediately rested his head on my shoulder and moved his face against my neck. I mean that's one way to make me less cold.
"San-ah, why aren't you in practice darl," I asked once again.
"Got kicked out cos I was too useless and made too many mistakes," he said in a small voice. I stiffened at his words, holding him tighter to me. It's clear from his voice that he believed what he just said and it made me angry. Why would those three idiots kick him out? No matter how many times someone messes up, you never kick them out. You encourage them and help build them back up, not tear them down further. Especially because it's obvious San is sick. They are definitely coming to my room for a talk tonight.
"It's ok, I'm sure you were great as always Sannie, people make mistakes," I said softly. I felt him relax in my arms and let out a breath and it made me even angry. It's clear that it's been worrying him and he thinks he's done something wrong. I swear if they've sent him back into the headspace of trainee days when he thought he was a burden and not good enough, I'm going to make their life a living hell.
"Can we cuddle please Hyung," he asked quietly as he leaned back. Given that he's sick, he's probably exhausted and it will help a lot for him to rest and cool down a bit. I don't want him to need to go to the hospital so I'll see if I can cool him down a different way. I stood up, making San squeak and hold onto me as I quickly carried him to the couch and placed him down. I let go and he just stayed there, blinking slowly and watching me. He's adorable, even when his cheeks are pink, his eyes are glazed and his hair is sweaty and sticking to his forehead. I chuckled softly before pulling off my shirt, knowing skin to skin contact will help cool him down more because the air-conditioning has my skin like ice, plus he'll be more relaxed. I moved over and helped him pull off his shirt as well, discarding it to the side with mine. I moved us around so I was laying on the couch on my back, propped up a little against the couch.
"C'mere jagiya," I said softly. He crawled over and huddled up so he was laying on top of me, his head finding place under my chin and his hands huddling up on my chest. I held back another gasp at how much his skin was burning up and instead wrapped my arms delicately around his waist, holding him gently. His face was still flushed so I moved my left hand and placed it on the back of his neck, moving my right to rest on his cheek. He whimpered slightly before relaxing completely and tucking his head further under my chin. I smiled softly and just stayed resting like that, with him relaxing in my arms. We stayed like that for around 30 minutes, not really doing anything except resting. I begun to get cold about halfway through but that was a good sign as it meant San was also cooling down and I was only worried about making sure he was getting better. I could tell he wasn't actually sleeping, just lightly dozing but I'm just glad his breathing is better and he isn't as hot. I moved my hand from his cheek and into his hair, brushing my fingers through it softly. San sighed and moved one of his hands back to the one I had on his neck
"How're you feeling," I asked quietly, squeezing the hand lightly.
"I feel like shit but I don't feel hot or dizzy, just a little tired," he replied. I was happy to hear that he sounded more conscious and wasn't slurring his words as much which means he doesn't have as much of a fever.
"When did you start feeling sick," I asked him, expecting him to say at some point in practice, however he didn't.
"When I woke up in the middle of the night and threw up," he said quietly. I sat up quickly at his words, still making sure to hold him so he wouldn't fall.
"Last night? Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you sit out practice so you wouldn't make it worse," I scolded slightly. I felt bad for getting slightly mad when I watched him look down, his hair falling to cover his eyes.
"Yeosangie knew," he replied. Why wouldn't Yeosang tell anyone? Or at least stop him from practicing?
"Why didn't Yeosang say anything," I asked.
"I made him promise to say anything," he admitted, making me groan slightly. Of course he did. San's habit of hiding his injuries, pain and exhaustion is going to become a big problem in the future.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause problems and disappoint you," he said in a small voice. He moved off my lap and turned around, curling in on himself as he tucked his knees to his chest. Aish, this kid is going to make me look 50 before I even turn 25. I shuffled over quickly and wrapped my arms around his waist, tucking him back against my chest, resting my head on his shoulder and kissing his neck gently. His shoulders begun to shake and my heart broke as I realised he was crying. San doesn't cry often, only when he's overwhelmed or he feels like he's let someone he loves down. It didn't take me long to realise it was both of them, especially with San's next words.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make so many mistakes and keep delaying practice, I didn't want to delay anything," he cried.
"Shh, it's ok aegi," I whispered softly, tightening my hold around him.
"I didn't want to annoy anyone because we already have too much stress," he sobbed. Oh I am going to kill them! San would've only been making mistakes and the boys, given how stressed they've been feeling, would've snapped. We have all been told and we all know that when we're stressed, we should never take it out on any of our members. San is someone who takes disappointment and anger really hard, and he may seem confident on stage but inside, he's still the same little boy who just wants to prove himself and be perfect. He's going to continue tearing himself down until they apologize and tell him they were wrong. I got up quickly and pulled San up with me, kissing his cheek softly and wiping the tears from his face but they kept coming. I grabbed our shirts, chucking his to him.
"Put this back on," I told him.
"What're you doing," he asked with a sniffle as he put it on as I did as well.
"I need to take you somewhere," I replied. I quickly saved my work before grabbing his hand and gently guiding him down the halls. I let him lean against me a little as we walked because he was still tired and that's why I was able to feel him tense when we got outside the dance practice room. Patience Hongjoong, patience, think happy thoughts. I squeezed his hand softly before opening the door and walking inside. San quickly slipped back, basically hiding behind me as the other three in the room stop dancing and stop the music.
"What's going on," Mingi asked. I didn't reply, just narrowed my eyes at them angrily. I could tell they were a little uncomfortable and nervous and they probably realised San had talked to me. Telling them he's sick would work but I'd rather be more difficult and make them more guilty.
"Wooyoung, come here," I said. He frowned but slowly walked over, glancing back at San. I grabbed his hand and moved to the side to make San more visible before placing his palm against San's forehead as the sickly one just blinked. Wooyoung furrowed his eyebrows before his eyes widened.
"Shit," he muttered before quickly pulling San into his arms.
Wooyoung's POV
Mingi, Yunho and I were running over some dances in the practice room, even after San left. I'm not sure how long we were doing it for when the door suddenly opened and Hongjoong walked in with San trailing behind him. I winced slightly as it was clear that Hongjoong was in leader mode and wasn't happy. San obviously went to him and told him we kicked him out of practice. Ok, so I do feel really guilty and we did take it a little too far but I'm also annoyed that San went and told on us. He's a big boy, he could've just come back or just practiced by himself. Yunho quickly turned off the music and we all turned to the two of them, waiting for him to blow up and go all leader mode.
"What's going on," Mingi asked. San stepped a little further behind Hongjoong while the older just glared at us. I felt a little nervous and uncomfortable and I could tell the other two did.
"Wooyoung, come here," he said. I frowned, unsure what he wanted me for but I slowly walked over. I furrowed my eyebrows as he grabbed my hand and moved it to San's forehead but then I felt how hot it was, definitely too hot to be a normal temperature. Which means he has a fever. And that means I'm an idiot and an asshole for not realising. Us berating San how we did was the worst thing we could've ever done, when the reason he made so many mistakes was probably because he was sick in the first place. It would've been bad enough if he wasn't sick but it's so much worse when he is sick. San always takes criticism without complaint but it disheartens him, only it's worse because when he's sick, he's a lot more sensitive.
"Shit," I accidentally let slip out before pulling San into my arms quickly. I held him tightly for a few seconds, then pulled away to place a few gentle kisses to the side of his head before pulling him back into my arms. I turned to face the other two, making sure to keep my arms wrapped around San and keeping him sick.
"Sannie's sick, he has a fever," I quietly told them. Their faces immediately dropped and they looked guilty. Yunho hurried over and kissed San's cheek softly.
"I'm so sorry for blowing up at you earlier Sannie. I was way over the line," he said quickly. San cuddled closer to me and begun to sniffle slightly. My heart dropped and I instantly pulled him properly into my arms, feeling even worse for what we did as it's clearly upset him, a lot. San let out a sob and I cursed myself internally, holding him tighter.
"I'm sorry Sannie, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry, I'm sorry jagiya. You were doing so well in practice, even if you did make a few mistakes but that's understandable Sannie. We shouldn't have taken our stress and frustrations out on you, you didn't deserve that at all," I said as he continued to cry. He sniffed and pushed his face into the crook of my neck as Yunho rubbed his back slowly. We stood like that for a few minutes until San calmed down and stopped crying.
"We should head back to the dorm, I don't think anyone will be practicing anymore tonight," Hongjoong said. We all nodded and Yunho quickly scooped San up bridle style, throwing him up slightly before catching him again, making the younger giggle and curl up in his arms. My heart lightened a little at the sound but it just made me feel even worse about what happened.
~~~~~
When we got back to the dorm, the other's were already back and talking to each other in the loungeroom. Seonghwa glanced over at us with a frown.
"Why're you back so early? And how the hell did you manage to convince Joongie to come home," he asked, his eyes wide.
"San's sick and we were assholes to him and made him cry so we brought him back to look after him," Mingi said. Yeosang jumped up off the couch and rushed over. San immediately moved away from Yunho and over to Yeosang, snuggling down in his embrace. It was cute. What wasn't cute though, was when Yeosang turned and looked at me, glaring angrily. I cringed and stepped back slightly, it was a scary glare.
"What do you mean you were assholes and made him cry," he asked, his voice slightly strained as he was clearly trying to keep it level.
"He was making mistakes in practice so we kicked him out and said we wanted to actually get stuff done," I said with a sigh, cringing as everyone else looked shocked at our words. It really was a horrible thing for us to do and it's even worse that it was San, my San-ah, my soulmate who I made a vow to myself to not let anyone hurt and I broke that rule myself.
"You kicked him out!? You never kick someone out, let alone someone doing their best despite being sick. And you berated him for making mistakes when he was sick," Yeosang yelled angrily. Ok to be fair, we didn't know but he's still right, we shouldn't have done it.
"Sangie," San said quietly, making Yeosang's head snap down quickly to look at him.
"It's ok Sannie, you didn-."
"They didn't know because I never told them," San said quietly. Yeosang's face softened and he relaxed a little, rubbing San's shoulder gently.
"You promised you would tell someone if it got worse," he said. Oh, so Yeosang already knew that San was sick? Why wouldn't he tell anyone? Although San probably told him not to.
"I didn't want to be a burden," San said with a sniffle. Oh no, he's crying again, why is crying again. This is too much San crying, I hate when he cries. I quickly rushed over and joined the hug, allowing San to latch on to me once again and rest his head on my shoulder.
"You could never be a burden Sannie aegi and you did nothing wrong," Seonghwa softly spoke up. San sniffled again but nodded, clinging tighter to me.
"Why don't you two go upstairs to Yunsan's room and rest for a few hours until dinner," Hongjoong spoke up. I nodded and slipped my hand into San's, guiding him upstairs and over to his room. I closed the door and helped him sit down on his bed. I knelt down and untied his shoelaces before slipping them off and placing them on the floor. I then slipped off his socks and threw them in the hamper against the wall.
"Can you stand up for me for a second please San," I asked quietly. He did as asked and stood up and I quickly took off his belt and helped him out of his pants so he was left in his boxers and could be more comfortable. Once that was done, he sat down on the bed and I quickly did the same with myself. We both slipped under the covers and he was quick to cuddle close to me, relaxing instantly. I don't really understand how he could be that at ease with me after how much of an ass I was earlier. I know he wants to sleep and get some rest but I need to talk to him before he can set his mind on thinking he messed up and was a burden to us. San can be very self-deprecating to himself when stuff like this happens.
"San, San-ah, open your eyes for a sec please," I said softly, coaxing him to open them. He did so and we looked over at each other, faces a few inches apart.
"I'm really sorry for how I acted today. I've been stressed lately and that is absolutely no excuse for me to ever act that way and be that rude to you. Even if you weren't sick," I said, feeling bad for what happened.
"It's ok Young-ah, I understand," he replied quietly. Seriously? Seriously? It's ok, I understand? Not even an, 'it wasn't nice don't do it again,' 'it hurt a lot, especially from you and it may take time for me to forgive you.' Why does he have to be so nice, this makes me feel even more like shit. My eyes started to tear up as I thought about just how rude I was to him when San is the most, gentle, caring and forgiving person I have ever met. I don't deserve to be forgiven that easily. Before I could stop myself, I started to cry.
"Oh no Youngie, no, please don't cry. I promise it's ok," San gasped out, hugging me tighter. He rubbed my back and kissed my cheeks gently and I tried to pull away.
"No don't, please don't San. I don't deserve your sympathy. I shouldn't even be crying right now, I was the one is the wrong," I said, trying to turn around. He didn't allow me to though, he just held me tighter and made sure I couldn't move away.
"Don't do that Wooyoung, please don't do that," he whispered. I cracked and hugged him tightly, letting out a sob.
"I don't want you upset Sannie, I never meant to hurt you."
San's POV
I cuddled close to Wooyoung when he got into the bed with me, just wanting the comfort of my best friend. I closed my eyes and was content to just fall asleep like this as it'll take my mind off the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and slight fever I probably still have.
"San, San-ah, open your eyes for a sec please," Wooyoung asked, nudging my chin gently. I slipped them open and looked over at his concerned face.
"I'm really sorry for how I acted today. I've been stressed lately and that is absolutely no excuse for me to ever act that way and be that rude to you. Even if you weren't sick," he said quietly. Ah, he's feeling guilty. There isn't anything to be guilty for though. I know they didn't mean any of it and they just snapped because they were stressed. I wasn't really upset with them in the first place, just myself.
"It's ok Young-ah, I understand," I said gently. My eyes widened as I noticed his eyes well up and then he begun to cry. No, why, why is he crying?
"Oh no Youngie, no, please don't cry. I promise it's ok," I said with a gasp, desperately holding him tighter to try and make him less sad. I was worried when he tried to pull back a little.
"No don't, please don't San. I don't deserve your sympathy. I shouldn't even be crying right now, I was the one is the wrong," he said, trying to turn around. Uh, uh, no way. I quickly tightened my hold on him and stopped him from moving.
"Don't do that Wooyoung, please don't do that," I whispered. I don't need him putting himself down because of an incident that is easily resolved. Less than two seconds later, he started to sob and hugged me back tightly.
"I don't want you upset Sannie, I never meant to hurt you," he cried. Oh, my precious aegi.
"Shh, it's alright jagiya. I'm not hurt at all, just a little sick," I soothed him gently.
"I upset him," he said, shaking his head quickly. I kissed the top of his head softly and nuzzled my nose into the top of his head. He sighed and tucked his head under my chin.
"I'm sorry for being a big baby," he whispered.
"It's fine," I said with a chuckle. He'll always be our big baby and fake maknae.
"I'm sorry for keeping my sickness a secret," I added.
"It's fine, I'm just glad nothing too bad happened and you didn't get injured. Next time though, you should tell us so we can look after you," he said, slipping his hand into mine and linking our fingers.
"I will," I nodded.
"For now though, I want to get some sleep and you're my favourite cuddle bug," I said softly.
"Ok, sleep time," he chuckled. We cuddled closer and closed our eyes, beginning to drift off.
"I love you so much Sannie," Wooyoung whispered suddenly, right as I was drifting closer to sleep.
"Love you too Youngie," I whispered before sleep finally took me.
A/N
This was requested by @Hani and I hope you enjoy it
Thank you to everyone who is still reading these stories, I hope they're still enjoyable for you all and he like them
I hope everyone is staying happy and healthy!!