They have been operating on you for hours on end. Doing all in their power to stop the internal bleeding. You're fully aware of your surroundings, unable to move, unable to speak. It feels like you're watching it happen, standing outside of your body looking down at yourself. Trying desperately to get back inside your body, to fight. Fight to keep being you. But every time you get close enough, your getting torn apart once again. An endless time loop. Going on and on. Theres no stopping it, you feel as though there's an invisible string connecting you to your body, buts it's wearing thin, it's only a matter of time before it snaps.
Natasha storms through the door. To the hospital. Loki and Tony is asleep in the waiting area. Although they've been advised to go home and sleep, they've refused to leave. Requesting updates every hour. Feeling how hope is slipping through their fingers as times moves slowly around them. Fury had gotten access to the lookout, that way they could monitor you. It was too difficult for them to watch you that way. Wanda hadn't left your side. That way she could always sense you, see if there was any chances. For now you are breathing, but it's not looking good. All odds are against you. Maria was keeping her company.
"Are they here?" Natasha yells out as she walks into the lookout. Maria and Wanda turns their head. As she walks over putting her hands on the glass.
"It's not good Nat" Wanda whimpers.
"Come on Wanda, it's y/n she's gonna be fine.. Natasha reassures her. "What happened?" She asks.
"It's critical Romanoff, she saved a girl and her brother" Maria explains.
"Well she's almost died before, she's gonna wake up"
"She wasn't shot 9 times last time, she's loosing a lot of blood, both internally and externally" Maria explains further, looking through your medical chart. "The stones are the only thing keeping her alive, but after all the energy she used, there's not much they can do either.. it's only a matter of time"
Natasha walks around the room, before falling to the ground. "Is she in any pain?" She cries out.
"No.. I can feel her. She's peaceful" Wanda says. As she sits beside Natasha.
"I don't get it.. we won" Natasha Mumbles. "She said something to me... that she was.." she trails off.
"What?"
"She knew it would come down to this... I should have stopped her, it shouldn't have been her" Nat sobs violently.
Quickly Wanda gets up looking at you. Tears are falling from her eyes. "Her heart.. it's slowing down"
"She saved us" Nat keeps repeating. As she rocks back and forth.
"She's going into cardiac arrest" The surgeon calls out. The doctors finds the defibrillator, trying to restart your heart. Wanda and Maria watches intensely at the screen waiting for your heartbeat to show up on the screen. While Natasha is in shock. "They're not responsive, step back again"
"It stopped beating" Wanda cries out.
You can feel yourself getting further and further away from your body. Struggling to fight anymore. You watch as Everyone around you is holding their breath. Just waiting for you to wake up. You know you can't keep fighting. You know you're supposed to fight. Half of your life has been one big battle trying to find peace. And now you have it. Nothing hurts. Everything is silent, you feel happy. There's not much else you can do, you can stay here and fight like hell, but you'll never be a whole person again. There's too much damage done. You search the hospital to find him. Like a ghost haunting the halls. You spend your last moments on earth lingering onto his touch. You want to be with him so badly that it almost feels like you can touch him. But his mind is completely shut off from you. Beside him Tony is fast alseep. His thoughts are louder than ever.
If you want to go, I want you to know it okay kid... it's okay. I understand.
You reach out to him letting your hand rest on his face.
I need you to know it's not your fault... I did this for all of you.. Don't blame yourself Tony, live for me..
You pull your hand away from Tony's. You can see a smile on his face... he heard you.. you feel the weight of the world lift from your shoulders. You turn to Loki once more kneeling in front of him
Loki..
There's no response, he's sound asleep
I know you can hear me.. you have to let me go.. I can't find peace if you don't let me go
His body twitches, as you finally hear his thoughts.
I love you y/n.. I'll find you again.. I promise.
And you finally know what you have to do, you could fight all you want... But that's not a life worth living. You'll die a hero.
"Call time of death" the surgeon says sadly.
The nurse looks at the clock. "Time of death 11:47"
They pack up, and dresses you, so that you're loved ones can say their goodbyes.
"I'm terribly sorry girls" Maria sobs, as she walks out. About to announce the death of an avenger. A friend, a sister. And a lover.
—
Loki is the first one to say his goodbye. Yet for the first time, he has no words, no thoughts only pain. He looks at you laying lifeless in a hospital bed. There's not one part of the lifeless corpse in that bed that's the woman he loved. It was all inside, and that's gone now. He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, placing his wedding ring on your finger. Before walking out the door. He's about to scream his lunges out at Tony. But for what use. You're gone. And so is he. He can't return to the home you so briefly shared, cause the scent of you lingered there. Whatever person he had become died with you.
Tony can't look at you, he went back home to pepper and Morgan as soon as he heard the news. He couldn't bare to say goodbye.
Wanda and Natasha quietly walks into the room looking down at you. They're hands intertwined.
"She's gonna wake up" Nat stammers. "She has to wake up" she strokes your hair, like she once did.
Wanda is trying desperately to find any sign of life wishing you're still in there as she holds your hand. "I can't feel you" she mumbles. "I can't feel you"
"It's okay y/n... you can rest now. You did it. You found peace" Nat cries out. Before walking out the door.
—
Everything around you is flashing bright lights. You feel more alive than you've ever done. They say death is such a frightening thing. Yet you've never been more at peace. You're in a big green field. Small dandelions growing around you. In the distance you see a face you never thought you would see again. You make your way towards him. But it's taking forever. With each step you take he gets further away. Behind you is a calming voice that sends shivers down your spine. As you turn around no one's there. You don't understand... "you have to let go sweetheart" the voice says. It's your mothers..
"How?"
"Let go"
You close your eyes, letting the wind take you wherever you need to go. Like you're a small leaf blowing back and forth, getting carried away.
And then you see him crystal clear. Steve
"Hey there stranger" you smirk.
He looks you up down, sadly shaking his head.
"You're not supposed to be here you know" he shrugs. Before hugging you tightly.
"Neither are you, yet here we are" you say as you let yourself be consumed by his embrace.
"So do you wanna tell me what happened" he asks
"I did what had to be done, I balanced out the scales" you chuckle.
"Congratulations by the way" he shrugs looking down at the wedding rings.
"I wish you could have been there"
"I was y/n. I've been watching over you" He says as he holds onto your hand. You're not sure if you're dreaming or if this I really happening.
"I'm just happy to see a friendly face around here"
"Guess we finally got our forever as well"
"Till the end of line"
You and Steve walks towards the meadow. Finding a peaceful spot below a cherry blossom.
"Are you ready to let go?" He asks peacefully.
"Not quite yet" you admit, he lets go of your hand. As he stands up slowly. "Do I have to?"
"No, you have all the time in the world here" he smiles.
"What If I'll never be ready" you ask sadly.
"You need to focus y/n.. it's not over until you say it is.."
"What do you mean"
"Open your eyes" he yells
"What?"
"Open your eyes" Steve repeats as he slowly disappears in front of you You sit for a moment looking out over the the meadow, when everything flashes before your eyes. You concentrate on opening your eyes. But nothings working.
"It's not your time yet sweetheart" you hear the familiar voice linger in your mind once again. Your mother stands before you as she leans closer to you, kissing your cheek. "My sweet, sweet girl" she says. "Open your eyes"
Then the darkness spreads, pulling you back into reality. Everything hurts, like your being stitched back together. Just like that your eyes shut open.
—
You wake up looking into complete darkness. You remove the covers from your body, sitting back up. Looking down at your stomach you see the stitches from your wounds. The room is dead silent, as you sit back up. There's a file at the end of your bed.
Y/n Maria Stark
Declared dead 11:47
Cause of death: organ failure, blood loss.
You run your hand over your body. You're not dead.. but everyone thinks you are. You smile darkly.. as you get an idea