May 10th, 2008
Criminal Minds
CBS Studios
We are finishing up the last few episodes of season 3 and the new episode of season 4. After that we are on break until September. AJ and I have been keeping things under wrap and here recently we haven't been seeing one another. After our quickie at the watch party back in January things have pretty much calmed down.
Kirsten and I have noticed that she has been pretty distant lately. Nate is at the studio more and it's confusing to us all. Josh has also been around more too, with a few more episodes here and there as well. Something big was about to happen.
"I have a weird feeling about things Kirsten" I said as I paced around her trailer that night. We were waiting to go on set for the episode Lo-Fi.
"Paget nothing is going to happen. You're being paranoid right now. You and I both know that y'all haven't been hanging out, maybe Nate is just trying to be a good husband and Josh being here doesn't mean anything." She said trying to calm me down.
"Maybe you're right" my phone pinged in my pocket. I pulled it out looking at the name. AJ.
"Hey, where are you?"
"Kirsten's trailer, what's up?"
"Can you stop by my trailer please? I need to talk to you.."
"Yeah here I come" I slipped my phone back in my pocket turning towards Kirsten.
"She wants me to come by her trailer"
"Okay? So go!"
"Yeah you're right!" I left Kirstens trailer slowly making my way down to AJ's. My stomach was in knots. She's about to tell me something I'm not going to like. I make it to her trailer and take a deep breath before knocking. "It's open!" I pull the door open stepping inside. She's sitting on the small couch she had holding the bear I got her in her lap.
"Hey"
"Hi" she says giving me a small wave. I sit down beside her. I sit quietly as I wait on her to talk.
"So.. I have something to say and I know you're not going to be too happy about it.. It kinda just happened and I'm happy about it but I wish it was in a different way, if that makes sense.." she takes a deep breath.
"I'm pregnant"
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She won't even look at me! I thought she would be happy for me, she knows how much I love kids and how bad I wanted a child. She and I both wish it were different and that she was the second mom but ya know. We can't always get what we want.
We are trying to run through the hotel scene and she won't even make eye contact with me. After we finally get the shot I take off to my trailer so I can pack up and go home. These next few months are going to test me. With Nate and I fighting almost everyday and the baby on the way I can't keep life together.
I really need Paget but she hates me. As I'm leaving my trailer Paget is walking up to it. I try to turn and walk away but she grabs my hand.
"Can we talk?" I pull my hand away wrapping my arms around myself.
"Why?"
"I want to apologize for how I acted.. Please?" I sigh and go back in my trailer with her following me inside. I sit on the couch as she stands in front of me.
"I want to start off by saying congratulations. I know you've always wanted a child. I'm going to be here every step of the way. I know we haven't really had time to ourselves or hung out but I do care about you, a lot. You having a baby doesn't change how I feel. Does it suck? Yeah but I'm not going anywhere" I smile at her as a tear rolls down my cheek.
"Thank you Paget. I'm sorry that this happened the way that it did. Nate and I have been talking about separating but yeah.. A baby changes everything now and I hate that. Trust me I want to be with you. My feelings will never change but don't let this get in the way. Once the baby is born Nate and I will work things out." She comes and sits beside me grabbing my hand.
"I'm going to say this because it's been on my mind heavily and I know my feelings for you are real and they're never going away. I love you Andrea Joy. As a friend, as a lover, and now a mother. That baby is going to be so lucky to have you. I can't wait to watch you grow that human and see how much love you bring into this world."
"God Paget, way to make a girl cry" we both laugh and she wipes the tears from my face. "But, I love you too.. So much" she grabs my face and places a kiss against my lips.
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I laid in bed that night going over everything that happened tonight. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that AJ is pregnant. A part of me wants to move on and the other part wants to stick around and wait.
I roll over and study the pictures on my bookshelf, one in particular catches my eye. Someone from my past that I'm pretty sure if I called them up they'll want to see me. I grab my phone and start looking at plane tickets to Boston. Then I find a nice rental house for me to stay at.
Maybe these months will be a good time for me to find myself and figure out what I want. Maybe I'll get another cat for Chauncey.
I lock my phone and roll over, my eyes slowly drift closed and that was it for me.
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Quick chapter. So she is having a baby 👀
Do you think Paget will really wait? And who is she going to see in Boston 🤨
Stay tuned! 🥰