{Dean's POV}
I left Cas shirtless on my bed, staring longingly at his single black feather.
I ducked my head and almost ran into Sam.
"Is Cas alright?" he asked, falling into step with me.
I shrugged. "He said he is, but I'm not too sure. I think he's just putting on a brave face. I'm worried about him, Sammy. I feel like he's crumbling and I can't catch the broken pieces."
We were quiet until he whispered, "Are you alright?"
I laughed humorlessly. "No. No, Sammy, I'm not alright. I don't know what to do."
He patted my back and smiled gently. "Just be there for Cas. That's all you can do. He needs you now, more than ever. We can fix this."
I nodded and he disappeared into the library.
Within a few minutes, I emerged from the kitchen with two BLTs.
"Knock, knock," I said when I got to my room.
Cas looked up and smiled a little. "What do you have?" he asked, his voice a bit rough and scratchy, more so than usual.
I sat down and handed him a plate. "Sandwiches." I crossed my legs and placed the BLT on my lap. "Do you remember the first meal we had together?"
He looked at me confused. "You mean our first date?"
"No, no," I said, shaking my head. "The first time we sat down and ate a meal together."
His eyebrows furrowed together. "That one day at lunch?"
I nodded, "That one day at lunch. Remember, we had BLTs."
"Yeah, but those were school lunches, these," he took a bite, "are much better."
"Why, thank you," I grinned. "But anyways, that was the day I realized that you were someone special. That was when I decided I want to be your boyfriend."
"Really? Because of sandwiches? Alright, Anna."
I looked at him confused. "Who?"
"Nevermind, Dean. It was a movie. You didn't get the reference."
"What do you do up in Heaven? Watch movies all day?" His face fell and I ran my thumb over the back of his hand. "I'm sorry, Cas. I wasn't thinking."
He smiled softly and sighed. "It's alright. I've just got to get used to not being an angel."
"Tell me Cas, did you see this coming? Sam and I suspected something was wrong, but did you?"
He nodded sadly. "I knew I was running low on grace. Ever since Crowley took the angels' grace, we've had to find ways to conserve it. Whatever he did, it was making our grace drain as long as we were on Earth. Maybe he did that on purpose, to keep us in Heaven. But I was doing good for a while, I didn't realize that I had so little left. I just- I didn't want you to be upset if I couldn't see you. And my brothers and sisters expect so much. I was foolish to believe that I could keep this up for so long."
I leaned in and squeezed his hand. "Cas, baby, I wouldn't have been mad if you couldn't see me every day. I care about you and if you would have told me, I would've understood. I love you, never forget it."
He nodded and picked up his sandwich, obviously wanting a change in discussion.
"So," I prompted, "I guess since you're not going anywhere, you'll need your own room in the bunker."
He met my eyes. "Oh. I thought-"
"Cas," I laughed, "I'm joking. You can stay with me." I raised my eyebrows. "That is, if you want."
He nodded and grinned. "I would love that, Dean."
I leaned into him and kissed him. "I would too," I breathed when I pulled away. "I would too."