Play song when it shows ***
Trigger warning ⚠️ mention of rape and abuse
Walking through my apartment door I take my shoes and coat off putting them by the door. Walking into the living room I find my little man sat on the couch watching baby shark. That song has been stuck in my head on repeat lately.
Angelo jumps up and squeals when he sees me entering running up to me. I bend down catching him in my arms attacking him with kisses. "Momma I missed you" Angelo beams.
"Momma missed you too baby" I place one last kiss on his forehead before carrying him with me to the kitchen. "Is my baby hungry?".
Angelo nods smiling with his teeth on show. I place him on the counter while I start making him some fruit pancakes.
Finishing off his pancakes I place Angelo in his high chair at the table and cut up his pancakes before placing them in front of him. While he's eating I clean up the mess I made.
After I've cleaned the mess and cleared up the mess Angelo made after he's finished eating. I pick him up while he tucks his head into the crook of my neck.
***
I start singing his favorite song and rocking us side to side.
"ya ghayib lih ma tas'al
e ahbabuk allly yuhibuwnak
ma yanamuu allayl lieuyunik
ana bifikr fik
tabeud eaniy watansani
muhtajik hanbiun tireani
tansini juruhi wa'ahzani
ana mushtaq lieaynayk
His little finger wrap around my pointer finger. Looking at me with his smile prominent on his face.
ya habibi la taruh baeid
ant nasibi wafaqalbi alwahid
ant allly biqalbi wallah tafdak aldunya kulaa
yay yay yay yay yay
Als ik met jou ben
Dan zie ik dingen echt anders
Jij hebt mijn pijn echt veranderd, ohh ohh
Ik geef niet op
Ik geen niet op aan onze liefde
Dit is love, dit is love
This moment right here makes me appreciate what I have in life. My little of bundle of joy wouldn't be here with me right now if I didn't go through what I did. He brought the light into my life that I was missing for so long. I only have Angelo left. I haven't seen my family since I was 13 and I'm now 18. I'm not sure if I'll ever see them again or if they even want to see me again. They probably aren't even that bothered about seeing me again.
Mmm, mmh, mm-mm-hmm
Oh-oh, my love ga niet weg
Waar moet ik heen, als jij er niet bent
Oo-oh, my love ga niet weg
Waar moet ik heen
Yay-yay-yay-yeah, yaaay-yay-yeah, oh no
Finishing the song I look down at Angelo and see him sound asleep in my arms. I smile at him before carrying him to his room and placing him on his bed. Tucking him In I peck his forehead before heading out.
Walking into my bedroom I strip of my clothes stepping in front of my mirror I can't help but break down. I don't know how much longer I can take it. Tears come streaming down my face as my breathing picks up. Looking at myself in the mirror it isn't the same girl from all those years ago. This girl in the mirror is broken and weak. She's been abused and used in ways I can't even explain.
Seeing my body in the mirror I can't take it anymore. I throw my fists at the mirror. I throw punch after punch screaming and crying. Blood splatters on the mirror as it cracks. I can't feel anything I feel numb. My body drops to the floor from exhaustion. My chest tightens it starts getting hard to breathe.
I hear foot steps coming into the room I don't even bother looking up knowing it's one of the girls. I feel a pair of arms wrap around me, I flinch away. My body shakes vigorously as sobs leave my mouth. I look up and see El. She's saying something but I can't hear her, her lips are moving but I can't hear anything.
I hear the door bell ring but I can't get up. It's like I'm stuck and can't move a single muscle. The door bell keeps ringing for a few minutes and El runs out my room. The doorbell stops ringing .It goes silent all i can hear are my shallow breaths and my heartbeat in my ears.
I hear 2 sets of foot steps coming towards me. Looking up I see Grey looking at me. He reaches towards me I flinch away from his hand. His eyes flash with hurt for a split second. Flash backs from that night flash in my mind.
Flashback
Walking into my house closing the front door behind me I take in my surroundings. The place is trashed. A gasp leaves my mouth as someone grips my arm harshly. Turning around I come face to face with him.
"Where have you been!" He shouts. His eyes glare with anger. When I don't reply he tightens his grip on my arm. I whimper. "Answer me NOW!" He screams.
Tears stream down my face as he tugs me with him towards the basement. I fight against his grip but he only tighten his hold on me. He shoves me into the room I fall to my knees. "Please no. No. No. Don't leave me in here. I'm sorry" I sob uncontrollably.
My face jerks to the right, I feel a stinging sensation on my cheek. He slapped me. "Don't talk back you Fucking whore. You deserve this" he spits out.
"Please no. I'm sorry. I'll do better I promise. Please don't do this" I whisper. My throat drying up when he steps closer. Before I have the chance to react he punches me in the face his rings cutting the flesh on my cheek. Every punch is harder than the previous ones.
Punch
"Your a whore"
Punch
"You'll never be good enough"
Punch
"Your weak"
Punch
"You deserve all of this"
He carries on punching me. Then he sends a kick to my ribs multiple times. Blood gushing out of my nose. He carries on until I'm laid bloody on the floor. My mind screams at me to get up and fight back but I can't. My body is exhausted and weak.
He grips my chin making me look into his eyes "no one will love you like I do. Do you understand me. Your mind, body and soul is mine. No one will love a whore like you" he spat out. Shoving me back onto the floor my head hits the floor a hiss leaves my mouth. I reach my hand to my head feeling wetness. I bring it up to my face and see my hand covered in blood.
He starts taking off my jeans getting on top of me. My body shakes in fear of what is coming next. He takes off his trousers and boxes before ripping off my panties. I squirm in his hold trying to fight back but it's no use. His hold on me hardens. " now it's time to take back what's mine" he growls in my ear before thrusting harshly into me.
A scream erupts from my throat. I kick, scratch and slap him but nothing works it just fuels his anger. Each thrust harder than the previous. My body grows tired until eventually my body feels numb and I'm laid lifeless on the ground. Once he's finished he gets dressed and stands above my unmoving body looking down at me. " look at you now. Look where it got you. YOUR MINE! AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE!" He shouts then walks out slamming the door and locking it behind him.
Tears escape my eyes and I just lay there staring at the ceiling. Until I feel sleepy. Black dots cloud my vision, my eyes close and I welcome the darkness.
Flashback over
"Angel eyes. V look at me. It's just me. I'm here to help just listen to my voice. Take deep breaths with me" Greyson whispers softly. I try but it still doesn't work I claw at my throat not being able to get air into my lungs. Grey grabs my hands in his and holds them in his lap. "Come on baby. Breath for me" he whispers, desperate for me to listen.
After a few tries I'm finally able to breath properly. As my breaths even out I look up at Greyson and see him staring at me with an unknown emotion in his eyes. I throw my arms around his neck snuggling into him stuffing my face into his neck. Tears escape my eyes as I tighten my arms around him. At first he does react but after a few seconds his arms wrap around my waist holding me close to him. One arm securely around my waist and the other stroking my hair he stands up my legs wrap around his waist. He sits on the bed with me still clinging onto him.
We sit in silence for a few minutes as my sobs turn into sniffles. "Are you okay?" Grey mumbles against my hair. I move my face out of his neck and place it onto his shoulder looking up at him. Our eyes connect, I see so many concern swirling in his eyes. He wipes under my eyes with his thumb. I shake my head, he kisses my forehead and tucks my head back into his neck. My eyes start to grow heavy, exhaustion hitting me full force. The feeling of safety with being around Grey, I close my eyes and fall asleep in his arms.
I watch as her breaths even out signaling she's fallen asleep. I go to place her on the bed but her grip tightens. I lay back onto the bed with the V in my arms. I rub circles on the small of her back.
This morning when she left I wasn't planning on seeing her so soon. When I went back into my room I saw that she had left her charm bracelet on the bed side table. I thought it might have been important so why not take it to her, not that I'm missing being around her or anything. So that's why I'm here now. It's safe to say I hate people. I always have. But ever since I bumped into V I haven't been able to stay away. I have this sudden urge to protect her and be around her all the time. I'm not sure why. I know I shouldn't be around her. I'll only hurt her but I can't stay away. It's like I'm attracted towards her, like a magnetic force pulling me to her.
What I wasn't expecting when I arrived at her apartment was to find her friend Ellie opening the door frantically with a petrified look on her face. I immediately knew something was wrong so I stormed past her to find my angel eyes. When I found her she was curled up on the floor breathing frantically with tears streaming down her beautiful face. Something inside of me snapped and I had this urge to hurt whoever harmed my angel.
I had no idea why she was in such a state. My first instinct was to run over to her and pull her into my embrace and hug her but when she flinched away from my touch I felt hurt. It's like she thought I would hurt her. I would never harm her in any way. When I heard her pleads "please stop. No. No. I'm sorry. I'll do better I promise". I knew she was having some sort of flashback. It broke me when she started clawing at her throat while crying harder. I knew then I had to protect her with my life from now onwards.
After telling her that she was okay and that I was there for her I grabbed her hands in mine to stop her from harming herself further. I helped her calm her breathing before she threw herself into my arms. At first I didn't understand what was happening but after a few minutes I knew she needed someone and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I picked her up and sat on the bed stroking her hair.
After a while her sobs turned into small sniffles. When she looked into my eyes it's like the wind was knocked out of me. I will never get bored of looking into her eyes. She's like a fallen Angel. She's full of innocence and she's so pure. Wiping the fallen tears from her cheeks and under her eyes. I ask if she's okay. Even though I know she isn't she didn't try to lie and hide from me, she shook her head her bottom lip wobbling. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and tucked her head back into the crook of my neck.
Right now laying here in bed with Violet playing with her hair, my heads all over the place. I've never been so attracted to a girl In such a short amount of time before. Usually I'd hate it when girls would touch me or try have a conversation with me but with Violet it's different. I want her to touch me and talk to me, I want to be around her all the time. God what the actual fuck is going on with me. I sound like a Fucking idiot.
I've never been in a relationship before or caught feelings for a girl. So everything I feel for V is new to me. I'm not even sure what these feelings are that I have for her when I'm around her. But I'm not letting her go any time soon. Seeing as I'm not going home I decided to go to sleep. Letting the darkness take over.
Waking up to something more like someone shifting on top of me. I bring my hand up to my eyes and rub them. Opening my eyes and adjusting to the light in the room I see my angel eyes sleeping peacefully on top of me. Now this is how I'd love to wake up every morning.
Okay shut up Grey. You've only just met the girl, we don't want to scare her off.
Events of last night flash In my mind. I'm not one to get scared shitless easily but when I say violet completely broken on the floor. I was scared. I had no clue what to do. Seeing her in pain really scared me.
My thoughts are cut off when the angel in my arms shifts again. "Good morning love" my voice comes out raspy. I stroke her hair. She slowly removes her head from my neck and sends me a weak smile. I tighten my arms around her. Her eyes slightly widen at the movement. She looks down seeing the position we're in. She blushes and looks away from me.
I frown gripping her chin softly but firmly turning her face back towards me. "Don't hide from me darling" I whisper. She blushes a deeper shade of red. She reaches her small hand up and smooths out the crease between my eyebrows.
God how I love it when she does that.
"You feeling alright?" I ask my voice laced with concern. She looks at me her eyebrows scrunching up in confusion. A few minutes of staring into my eyes realization passes through her eyes. She shoots up from out my hold off the bed and starts pacing around the room.
"Omg. Grey I'm so sorry. I can't believe you had to see me like that" she says shaking her head. She looks at me "I understand if you want to leave and never speak to me again" her voice wavers.
Wait what. She thinks I'm going to want to leave after what happened last night. I get up from the bed walking towards her. I grab her face with both my hands looking into her eyes. "Baby listen to me. I'm not leaving. Nothing has changed. You can't scare me away that easily" I explain to her softly.
A tear falls down her face I quickly wipe it away. She looks unsure for a few seconds before she comes closer pressing her body into me and wrapping her arms around my neck. I wrap my hands around her waist tightly tucking my head into her neck. The smell of coconuts and lavender invading my nose.
This girl has managed to break some of my walls down in the space of a few days. No one has ever been able to do that or they just got bored and left. She hasn't. She stayed. Being around her calms me and keeps me sane.
Picking her up she squeals and instantly wraps her legs around my waist. I carry us to the bed and I lay on top of her between her legs with my head in the crook of her neck. Her hand goes straight to my hair running her fingers through it. I place a chased kiss to her neck.
Our moment is cut short when I hear the door creak open and soft foot steps walk through out the room. " momma?" A soft voice asks. My eyebrows furrow taking my head from Vs neck and looking towards the voice. To say I'm shocked is an understatement.
What the fuck is going on here.
__________________________________
Thankyou for reading guys. Hope you like it so far I'm going to try updating very soon. I just have a lot of school work to do. :)