You stumble up on your feet, trying to get foothold. Your body is just too heavy for your legs to carry. Before you hit the ground once more, Bucky catches you.
"Why are you here?" You ask, you concentrate on keeping consciousness. All you want to do is use your powers to read his mind. But Shuri said no distractions. Bucky is a distraction.
He doesn't answer he just looks at you.
"Just leave please, I need to sleep" you lay down, but just before your head lands on the pillow he pulls you back up. "Bucky stop"
"I need to talk to you.. Now y/n" he says demandingly, his breath stinks of alcohol.
"Have you been drinking?"
"That's beside the poi-"
"Bucky are you drunk" you yell.
"Yes I am, but that's not the point" he puts both his hands on your arms. You have a bad feeling about this.
"I'm not interested in hearing your point. Now get out!" You say getting off the bed opening the door.
"Don't" he says slamming the door shut
"Don't what?" You ask crossing your arms. Eyeing him up and down.
"Don't marry Loki" he says quietly.
There's a moment of silence before his words sinks in. You can't help but laugh as you let your hands run from your hair down to you neck shaking your head.
"Bucky stop"
"I'm serious"
"Stop it! Right now"
"No, I'm saying that I don't want you to marry Loki"
He grabs onto your arm, as you try to push him away from you, the grip only tightens.
"Shut up, you've been nothing but terrible to me, so you don't get to lecture me about my life." You yell, as you continue to push him. "Get out, you're drunk"
"Just listen to me, you know Steve would have stopped you"
"Steve would have wanted me to be happy" you yell, as you break free from his touch. "Loki makes me happy"
"Why isn't he here helping you? If he's so fucking perfect"
"Because I nearly killed him.."
"Come on y/n.. you know it's now what you want"
"Since when do you care what I want"
"I could make you happy.. just let me prove it" Bucky says calmly walking slowly towards you. But with each step he takes towards you, you take one back.
"1.5 day ago you were screaming at me with your hand wrapped around my throat" you yell out. "You are drunk so stop"
Bucky turn to the wall slamming his hand against it. You use your powers to stop him.
"You don't understand" he mumbles.
You let go of him. He slides down the wall. You're seated on your bed on the opposite site of the room.
"What don't I understand?" you question.
"I've liked you ever since Steve introduced you to me.." he says quietly. You look at him in disbelief. "I liked you so much, but I knew what I did to you was unforgivable so I-"
"You what..?"
"I like you.. i love you"
"Look I've forgiven you for a lot of crap James, but lying to me, to make me chance my mind that's ju-"
"THEN HATE ME" Bucky yells, as he walks over to you bending down so you're face to face. "I killed your parents, I tore you and Tony apart" your face is burning red, you can't process what he's saying to you, it's all to much. "But y/n.. I'm not gonna watch you marry the wrong guy" he says quietly, resting his forehead against yours.
"Bucky please"
"No I can't do that"
"Bucky I love you so much.. I can't hate you.."
"I don't want you to"
He grabs onto you head, his hand is shaky.
"Then let go of me Buck" you whisper, grabbing his hand, but he's not letting go.
"Just let me show you how much you mean to me" he pleads.
"Bucky I love you, but not in that way"
"Just let me show you"
He leans closer in.
"I know you care, but I also know you're angry and really drunk, so let's talk later" you say pushing him away.
"Don't push me away" he kneels before the foot of the bed, tightening his grip on your neck.
"Bucky stop.. you're gonna regret this" you plead.
"I don't think I am" he says before placing a small kiss on your lips before you pull away.
"Stop... Don't make me break your heart"
"Yes please break it" he smiles as he pulls you in again kissing you passionately.
There's a moment where time is completely frozen, before you realize what's going on. You pull away. Opening the door with your powers.
"Bucky please go, I'll talk to you in the morning alright." You say quietly.
"I'm not leaving"
"I'm begging you, please just go... don't make me do it for you."
Bucky looks at you with sadness in his eyes. He slowly gets up walking towards the door.
"I'll talk to you in the morning when you're sober" you whimper.
He stops in the door frame looking back at you. "I'm really sorry"
"I know you are.."
"Goodnight y/n"
"Goodnight buck"
The door closes behind him.
You let your body crash down onto the bed. Your entire body is trembling, and you mind is racing. This was exactly what you shouldn't have been doing. He said he loved you.. after all these years. After all he put you through now he told you. How were you ever gonna get a good nights sleep after this.
—
Sam slowly opens the door, he stands in the doorway for a moment looking at you starting up into the ceiling.
"Don't tell me you've been up all night" Sam says.
"Okay, I haven't been up all night" you smile.
"Were you up drinking with buck?"
"Oh no, he did that all on his own"
"Please take a nap, we need you in the lab In 3 hours okay?"
"Roger that" you laugh, as you salute him. He rolls his eyes before closing the door.
You had really messed up. And all the guilt of kissing Bucky was eating you alive. You had to tell Loki. You know that but how. First you try to kill him, then you kiss someone else.
Loki, if you can hear me please let me know.
Silence.
I've messed up
Silence
I'm sorry
Silence.
There's no way you were gonna fall asleep now. Perhaps you should just get it over with.