A/N
Ok, so I know I said the last one was long but this one is at least 10,000 words so um, yeah
Trigger Warning
There isn't really anything bad in here but there is forcing to do things through threatening someone so if you don't like those kinds of things then please don't feel the need to read it
And by forcing to do things, I don't mean anything sexual
Yeosang's POV
Life is great, or at least it used to be. I have a loving family, plus the other boys who are practically my family as well and I have a great life. Now though, I'm not so sure if it's classified as great or not. Sometimes people can hurt you, physically, without it even leaving a mark or showing that they hurt you at all. There are many ways to torture someone, make their life a living hell and if no one sees the act, they'd never have even the slightest clue it was happening...
Each member in our group has their own personal trainer, to help with nutrition, diets and workouts. Mine is a man called Lee Taewon, and I would hardly call him a good person. It's been a month, a month since he became my trainer and I wish he never was. I was in the middle of doing a run through of Déjà vu when I stumbled slightly during the choreo. I went to continue but the music was quickly shut off by Taewon. Right, zero mistakes.
"What was that? That was disgraceful. You call that dancing," he yelled at me. The words had no effect on me, I honestly just felt empty inside. I don't have any fight left in me, not when I know I could never deal with the consequences that would come from not doing as he asked.
"You're going to do a plank for five minutes, get down and ready so I can time you," he said. I was dreading it, but I quickly got into position as he asked.
"Five minutes, starting now," he said, clicking the timer. I got to around two minutes when my abs started to hurt, already sore from all the gym work and planks I've done previously. By the time I got to three minutes, it started to burn and my eyes were welling up. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it to five minutes like this, it hurt too much to continue but I knew I need to. I need an incentive, some motivation.
"Taewon-ssi, can I please have a break, maybe stop early. It's really sore," I managed to gasp out.
"No. No slackers. Either you do the full five minutes, or I'll be paying a little visit to Mr Jung during his next time off," he said immediately. That's all the motivation I needed. Just the thought of Wooyoung getting hurt was enough to make me grit my teeth and finish of the plank.
"That's five minutes," he told me. I immediately collapsed to the floor, silently crying tears of relief as I held my stomach with one hand to ease the pain.
"No slacking get up and continue," Taewon told me sharply. I was exhausted and sore but I managed to stumble to my feet and get back into position, wincing slightly.
"If you get through this next run through without a mistake, you'll be done for tonight. If you don't, you'll be punished and we will continue until you do," he said sternly. I nodded and took a deep breath, preparing myself. I somehow managed to get through the song, not making a mistake despite how much I wanted to just stop and lay down.
"Good. You're done for today, you did well. I will see you tomorrow," he said, not even waiting to help me out, just leaving. I was panting slightly, trying to get more air into my lungs as I leaned against the wall. God I'm tired. I walked over, grabbed my jacket and phone before making my way home. The walk was at least 10 minutes and if I wasn't already exhausted before I left, I definitely was now but I held it together, wanting to at least get to my bed before I relaxed. I opened the door and stumbled inside, thankful that there was no one in the living room so they wouldn't ask any questions. I stumbled slightly and fell into the wall, barely able to hold myself up, let alone walk but I managed to get to my bedroom. Unfortunately that's all I managed to get to as my knees immediately gave out and collapsed to the floor with a thud and a groan. It didn't hurt too much but maybe that's because my body was already aching and I was already trying to hold back sobs. I just laid there on the ground how I fell, not even having the energy to move my hand and pillow my head. I wanted to fall asleep but the ground was too uncomfortable, nonetheless I didn't have the energy so I was stuck in a bit of a predicament. I was trying to think about what I could do when the door was suddenly opened and there was a gasp. A few seconds later, I felt myself being pulled up into someone's arms, letting out a groan as I was jostled. With much effort, I managed to lift my head and I blinked to see Wooyoung looks down at me in concern. He was worried about me but at least he was ok. I'm staying quiet and doing this so he will be alright, that's all I want. I dropped my head forward and tucked it into his neck, letting out a deep breath of relief and relaxing as his lap was a lot more comfortable than the floor.
"What's wrong Sangie, you can talk to me," he asked softly.
"I'm fine, just think I over did it. I'm really tired," I whispered, letting my eyes slip closed. I didn't even open my eyes when I felt movement, already knowing that Wooyoung had picked me up and was most likely carrying me to my bed. Just as I thought, I felt him gently place me down on my bed and I immediately felt relief at the soft surface under my throbbing muscles. He moved away and I quickly opened my eyes, unsure what he was doing and why he was moving away. I watched as he went and rummaged through my draws, confused as to what he was doing but I understood a few seconds later as he walked back over with my pyjamas in his hands.
"Youngie, it's ok, I'll be fine," I said, not wanting him to feel obligated to look after me.
"I know, but I've got you. Just help the best you can but don't stress," he said sweetly. God, he's the best. This is why I will always protect him. I nodded and he gently helped me up, peeling off my shirt and replacing it with my pyjama top before doing the same with the pants. Once he was done, he helped me lay back down with my head on the pillow, pulling my blankets over me and tucking me in.
"Get some rest Sang, you work too hard," he said gently. He went to move back but I quickly mustered my energy and reached out, grabbing his wrist loosely but it was enough to make him stop.
"What's up," he asked softly, kneeling down in front of me.
"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep," I asked nervously. I wasn't sure if he would think I was being silly but clearly he didn't as he smiled widely.
"Of course," he replied quickly, sitting down on the bed beside me. He placed his hand in my hair and slowly ran his fingers through it. it was soothing and my eyes slip closed as I slowly drifted off.
Wooyoung's POV
I was cuddled up with San, watching a movie with him on his bed when I heard the front door open. That either means Hongjoong is home, though unlikely, or the more likely option, Yeosang is home. It was confirmed 30 seconds later when our door opened and closed and there was a small thud. He really needs to remember where the desk is, he runs into it too much. There were only a few more minutes left for the movie so I waited for it to end before getting up.
"Night Sannie, sleep well," I said, kissing his cheek softly.
"Goodnight," he replied, smiling as I left. I went to my room and opened the door, about to say hello to Yeosang when I saw him looking unconscious on the floor and I gasped. I ran inside, closing the door behind me and dropping beside Yeosang. I quickly pulled him into my arms, my heart pounding with the fear of my best friend being hurt. To my relief, he slowly lifted his head to look at me, but I was still worried for him. He moved his head and tucked it into my neck, his body untensing.
"What's wrong Sangie, you can talk to me," I said softly, concerned for him. I mean I did walk in on him collapsed on the floor and he's barely moved since I've been here.
"I'm fine, just think I over did it. I'm really tired," he said quietly. He really does look exhausted, he desperately needs sleep. I quickly scooped him up and gently placed him on his bed, smiling fondly as he curled up slightly. He looked so adorable. I then went over to his draws and grabbed out a set of pyjamas for him. I walked back over to him with his clothes.
"Youngie, it's ok, I'll be fine," he said. I could tell straight away from his voice that he most definitely was not fine, he just didn't want to cause me any, as he would say, 'inconvenience'. But he could never be an inconvenience to me.
"I know, but I've got you. Just help the best you can but don't stress," I told him. His eyes lit up slightly and he nodded, making me smile at his cuteness despite being so tired. I grabbed his waist and shoulder and gently lifted so he was sitting up and it was easier to take off his shirt. I switched his shirts before helping him shimmying out of his pants and replacing them with his pyjama pants. After finishing, I slowly lowered him back down on to the bed so he was laying down and his head rested on the pillow. I grabbed his blankets and pulled them up to cover his torso, tucking him in for good measure.
"Get some rest Sang, you work too hard," I said gently. I got up to leave but stopped when he weakly gripped my wrist. I would hardly call it even grabbing me to be honest, his hand was basically resting against mine.
"What's up," I asked softly as I knelt by his bed.
"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep," he asked me. I knew he was a bit embarrassed to ask me but I thought it was sweet I gave him a small smile.
"Of course," I replied instantly. I sat down on the edge of his bed, pacing my hand on his hair for running my fingers through it. I watched as his eyes slowly slipped closed and before long his breathing evened out, signalling he had fallen asleep. Even though he was already asleep, I stayed beside him and watched as he slept soundly. His face was so peaceful and he looked so relaxed compared to earlier. I'm a little worried about him, I have been for the past few weeks. He's been getting really buff lately, which isn't bad, but the fact that he's been getting buff so quickly is a little concerning. I'm worried he's overworking himself, working out too much and might end up hurting himself. I don't want that, I don't want to see him hurt. There was a small click and I looked up to see the door open and Seonghwa poking his head through it. He smiled softly and walked inside. I moved my hand from Yeosang's head and opened my arms with a pout. Seonghwa immediately understood that I wanted hugs, which is what I usually want if I see him before bed. Seonghwa rolled his eyes but walked over to my bed and sat down, leaning against the wall. I hurried over and climbed onto the bed, cuddling up to his side.
"You're like an adorable little kitten who loves cuddling," he chuckled. I pouted but snuggled closer, enjoying the warmth of the eldest.
"What were you doing earlier," he asked me.
"I was watching Yeosang sleep," I said with a shrug. He looked down at me and raised an eyebrow and making me giggle. Although the giggle turned into a from once I remembered just how exhausted he was earlier.
"What's wrong," Seonghwa asked quickly.
"Yeosang kind of collapsed earlier, I think," I said with a sigh.
"What do you mean he collapsed," he asked, looking up quickly to check on Yeosang.
"I'm not sure exactly. I just walked into the room and saw him laying on the floor barely moving. When I picked him up, he was so tired and could barely even move. I helped get him dressed and tucked him in so he fell asleep but I'm just worried he's working out too much," I said sadly.
"It's just his way of feeling like he belongs. We all know how he sometimes struggles with feeling like he contributes to the group and thinks he's just here for his face. We all know it's bullshit but he doesn't for some reason. We've all worked ourselves to the point of collapse before so I can't fault him for that. As long as it doesn't happen again and he isn't hurting himself, he can continue doing what he's doing," Seonghwa said, nibbling his lip slightly. I sighed but nodded, knowing he was right.
"What's wrong? There's something else, I can tell," he said with furrowed eyebrows. God, how is he so observant. His stupid mum senses.
"It's nothing really. I just, I miss Sangie. I don't really get to see him a lot anymore outside of schedules," I said quietly.
"Just be patient Young-ah. Yeosang will come to you more often once he get's into a proper routine," he said, squeezing my shoulder softly. I nodded, hugging him tightly one last time before pulling away, knowing we should be getting ready for bed soon. Seonghwa leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and whispered goodnight before leaving. I yawned and got up turning off the light before laying back down in bed and closing my eyes. I was just starting to doze off when I heard a whimper and I sat up straightaway, feeling wide awake. I leaned over and turned my beside lamp on, looking over at Yeosang in worry. He's the only person in this room which means it was most likely from him. I waited about 10 seconds, beginning to think I imagined it but then I heard him whimper again. I jumped out of my bed and ran over to his, grabbing his shoulders to try and wake him up. He shot up quickly, his eyes filled with tears as he looked around sniffling. I desperately wanted to hug him as he looked really scared but he was probably a bit disorientated from just waking up. He looked around and his eyes locked on me. He lunged forwards and hugged me tightly, half falling off his bed in the process. I quickly sat down and pulled him up into my lap, hugging him tightly. Yeosang sniffled and clung to me tightly, taking deep breaths between cries. I was worried for him and I couldn't help but wonder what exactly he dreamed about.
"I'm ok," Yeosang said shakily a few minutes later. I just squeezed him even tighter.
"Are you sure? You were pretty worked up. What did you even dream about," I asked him.
"I had to sit by and watch you get beaten and I couldn't do a thing about it," he said quietly. As he said that, his grip around me tightened and his nuzzled his nose into my neck, taking a deep breath. He got this worked up at the thought of me being hurt?
"I'm ok Yeosangie, you have nothing to worry about," I whispered.
"I know. I wont let you get hurt, ever, no matter what," he said firmly. I was touched by his words but I know he means it.
"I know, you'd never let me get hurt and I trust that," I said, ruffling his hair gently. I leant back slightly so I could see his face and wiped the tears from it, placing a gently kiss on his forehead, cheeks and nose. For once he didn't complain about the affection, instead he relaxed in my lap.
"Will you be alright getting to sleep," I asked him softly, knowing back in trainee days he on the odd occasion he had a nightmare, he preferred to stay close to someone.
"Yeah I'll be fine," he said. I frowned slightly but I parted from him and laid down in my bed. I didn't close my eyes, just waited a few minutes before I heard Yeosang's sheets ruffle and padding footsteps. I shuffled to the side and lifted up my blanket, allowing Yeosang to slip under and cuddle up to my side. He grabbed the front of my shirt and clenched it tightly in his fists, tucking his head into my shoulder.
"Go to sleep Sang," I whispered gently. He nodded and we fell asleep, cuddled tightly to each other.
Yeosang's POV
"Practice is over guys, what's everyone thinking about doing," Hongjoong asked. I had felt a lot better in the morning than I did last night and I was able to get through practice quite well.
"Jjongie, Yunho and I are going to head back to the dorm and play some video games. We're trying to beat the next level," San said before turning his attention back to Wooyoung.
"I'm taking Wooyoung out shopping with Juyeon Hyung and Jaehyun Hyung," Seonghwa said. Juyeon and Jaehyun are two of our bodyguards. They're honestly the best and always look out for us.
"I'll just stay here and do some composing," Mingi told Hongjoong.
"I'm going to catch up with Taewon and put in some work," I told him. I am so dreading going to workout today, I don't even really want to go. One look at Wooyoung who was chatting and giggling with San and that thought immediately vanished.
"Are you sure Yeosang? You've been working out a lot in the past month," Hongjoong said. He walked over to me and lifted my shirt, looking at my stomach.
"I mean, look how defined your abs are getting," he added.
"I know right and look at his arms. Our sweet little statue is getting buff," Mingi chuckled, squeezing my arms softly.
"And his thighs, he could probably do like 10 squats holding one of us," Yunho said.
"I think he's probably almost as strong as Jjongie," Mingi said. I mean I appreciate the compliments, but having them all stare at me and my stomach and patting my arms, was a little uncomfortable.
"Aish, stop it. Just because he looks better than you, doesn't mean you need to gawk," Wooyoung said, playfully patting away their arms. I thought he was mucking around but as he stood in front of me, almost as if shielding me from the other's, I realised he had noticed I was uncomfortable and did it deliberately. The other's all went off and started doing their own thing again.
"You kay," he asked, grabbing my hand gently. I smiled a how attentive he was.
"I'm fine, thanks Wooyoung," I said as he squeezed my hand.
"Don't overdo it today," he told me gently.
"I won't, I promise," I said. That's a promise I highly doubt I'll be able to keep.
~~~~~
Yeah, I definitely cannot keep that promise at all. I've been at the gym for over an hour and I'm absolutely dying, once again. I felt sweat dripping down my face and landing on my chest before continuing it's path. I would wipe it away but I currently have a very heavy weighted bar on my shoulders so it might not be the smartest idea. I did another squat, my legs shaky and burning. The room was stuffy and suffocating due to there being no ventilation apart from the small fan Taewon had pointed at himself and I knew I started overheating at least 15 minutes ago.
"Taewon-ssi, can you please open a window, I feel like I can hardly breathe," I gasped out.
"No, you need to do 10 more squats so hurry up," he said immediately. My eyes welled up with tears, whether they were frustrated tears or tears of defeat, I'm not sure.
"Please, I need a break," I begged, completing yet another squat.
"Sure, I'll give a break for an hour while I go check on Wooyoung," he said with a sickening smirk. A sob tore from my throat and I quickly shook my head.
"No. Please Don't. I'll do it," I said quickly.
"That's what I thought. Now stop whining and get through those 10 squats, now 9," he told me. I stayed quiet and did as he asked, pushing through them despite my parched throat and aching body. I barely managed to get the last squat up but thankfully Taewon stepped in and grabbed it, hooking it onto the bar. I immediately fell to my knees once the weight was removed and heaved in breaths, slowly getting my breathing a little more regulated and under control. I slowly looked up at Taewon who was just standing there and watching me.
"Can I please have some water now? It's been over an hour and it's so hot," I asked desperately. I tried not to get my hopes up but to my surprise, he agreed.
"I have something even better for you," he told me.
"Anything will do, please," I said quickly. He left before returning with a bottle filled with an odd green liquid and held it out to me. I stood up, wobbling slightly but grabbed the bottle and looked at it.
"What is it," I asked in confusion.
"It's a smoothie and it's delicious," he replied. Certainly doesn't look delicious. But it's a drink and I'm in dire need of one right now. I took a tentative sip and almost gagged at the foul taste. I turned to the bin to spit it out but Taewon's hand was suddenly over my mouth, stopping me from spitting it out.
"Swallow," he growled. I didn't want to but there was nothing else I could to so I reluctantly swallowed.
"Now drink all of it," he said as he removed his hand. Is he serious right now?
"It's disgusting, I don't want it," I said, shaking my head and holding the drink out to him. He chuckled darkly and I frowned, not liking the look he had.
"I wasn't asking. If you don't drink it all at once, without stopping. You know exactly what will happen," he said. Motherfucker. I clenched my fist around the bottle tightly, willing myself not to do anything stupid and to listen to what he was saying. I brought the bottle to my lips and lifted it, gulping the liquid down quickly. It tasted horrendous and I wanted to spit it out but I knew I couldn't so I finished the whole thing quickly. By the time I finished, I felt even worse than before. My stomach was churning, my bones and muscles were aching and I felt like I was going to pass out from the heat.
"Well done Yeosang, I am proud. You're free to go now," he said before walking out of the room and leaving me alone yet again. I scoffed at him which turned out to be a bad idea as my stomach turned and I ran to the bin before immediately throwing up into it. I threw up a few more times before finally finishing. I sniffled and wiped my mouth before shakily pulling himself up. I grabbed my phone and stumbled from the gym, getting about 3 metres out of it before my legs gave out and I sat on the ground leaning against the wall. There's no way I can walk home like this. A plus right now is the cool air feels amazing on my burning skin and I don't feel like I'm going to throw up or pass out anymore. That still doesn't mean I'll make it home, I definitely need someone to pick me up. Someone who won't ask way too many questions but will make sure I'm ok without smothering me. I pulled out my phone and quickly dialled the number that came to mind.
"Yeosang what's up, you know not to call me while I'm producing unless it's urgent," Hongjoong said.
"I overdid it a little, and I can't walk home," I said a little shakily.
"Shit, are you ok," he asked, concern quickly seeping into his voice. Concerned leader Joong is nice.
"I'm tired and sore and I want to sleep," I whispered, not bothering to be louder.
"Ok, wait out the front and I'll be there soon," he said quickly. I just hummed in reply before handing up. His car pulled up a few minutes later and I went to stand but he jumped out and ran over to me, pulling me into a gentle hug. He pulled away with a frown and placed his cold hand against my cheek.
"You're boiling," he murmured, stroking my cheek gently. His touch was surprisingly soothing and I found myself leaning into it slightly.
"I worked out a lot," I replied with a small shrug. He sighed and frowned before standing up and pulling me with him. He guided me to the car and into the passenger seat, buckling me in before going back to the drivers seat. He drove us back to the dorm, parking in the driveway and immediately getting out and coming over to me. Huh? Isn't he supposed to drop me off and go back to the studio.
"What're you doing? Aren't you supposed to be working on songs," I asked as he opened my door and unbuckled me.
"You're run down and you need to be looked after so that's my priority," he said, wrapping his arms under me and lifting me bridal style. I felt bad pulling him from his work but I know I'm going to need help and he's the best person for that because he doesn't always pry to much. He closed the car door and carried me to the front door, somehow managing to open it and carry me inside. I was still exhausted so I just rested my head against his shoulder. He has very comfy shoulders I must say. As we walked past the loungeroom, the three playing video games noticed us and paused them.
"Hongjoong Hyung, is Yeosang Hyung ok," Jongho asked quickly.
"He's fine but he's a bit run down so I'm going to look after him," Hongjoong replied.
"Ok. Come get us if you need anything though," San said. Hongjoong nodded before carrying me to my room and placing me down on my bed.
"Wait here," he said. I mean, I have no problem with that. I put my head on my pillow and started dozing off when I was suddenly swept back into his arms and he started moving. I whined and cuddled closer, annoyed my sleep was ruined.
"Such a baby," he chuckled lightly. I opened my eyes just as we walked into the bathroom and I noticed the bathtub fully of water and bubbles, immediately wanting to get in and relax.
"I put muscle relaxant bubble bath in so you can relax in there for a while ok bub," he said softly as he placed me on my feet. Oh my god, Hyung is an angel!
"Thank you Hyung," I said quietly. I begun to undo the buttons on my shirt but I was quite tired and slow so Hongjoong quickly stepped in and grabbed my hands.
"Would you be ok if I look after you tonight Sang," he asked gently. I thought about it for a few seconds. I don't really like being babied usually but right now, having my Hyung close and looking after me actually sounds kind of nice. I looked him in the eyes and nodded.
"Words bub," he said, rubbing my hips softly.
"Yes please Hyung," I said quickly. He smiled softly before helping me get undressed. It was a lot quicker with him than it would've been with me and before long, he was helping lower me into the bath. The water felt absolutely reviving and soothing, exactly what I needed.
"I'm gonna wash your hair," he said. I just nodded, not really caring what he did and he begun to rub some shampoo into my scalp. I did everything I could to make sure I wouldn't fall asleep and despite it being close, I still managed to blink my eyes open. After a while, Hongjoong helped me out of the tub and dried me with a town before helping me get changed. I was more tired and useless as before so Hongjoong picked me up again and took me to my room, lowering me onto the bed and tucking me in. Being tucked in 2 days in a row, must be my lucky week.
"Get some rest, you'll need it because we're going bungee jumping tomorrow," he said softly. I sighed and nodded, my eyes already slipping closed as I cuddled closer to my pillow. Hongjoong just ruffled my hair one last time before I finally succumbed to sleep.
~~~~~
The next day, we did indeed go bungee jumping. We were all down the bottom waiting to be taken up so we could jump. Well everyone but Seonghwa, he's scared of heights so he won't jump or even go up. Yet he seems to be the one freaking out the most out of all of us. One of our camera men was beside us, filming as we mucked around.
"How can some people enjoy this," he asked with a pout. Me being me and not thinking, said something incredibly stupid.
"Some people would love to jump, even without the rope," I said. I only registered what I had said when I looked up and everyone was staring at me with wide eyes. Ah, shit. I glanced over at Wooyoung whose eyes were wide and I cringed internally.
"Would you mind pausing the filming for a few minutes," Hongjoong asked the camera man. Crap, crap, crap. He left quickly and Seonghwa turned to the other's, asking them to go relax for a few minutes. I'm about to get one of the Seongjoong parental talks and I really don't want them figuring out what has been happening. I tried not to panic but it was hard when it was a possibility they could figure out what was happening. Don't be fully by their good looks, Seonghwa and Hongjoong can be smart when they want to be.
"You can't just joke about something like that Yeosang, especially on camera," Hongjoong said as he turned to me. At least he didn't seem overly mad at me yet.
"We understand your humour but some fans will get insulted by it and they will be a bit disheartened and unimpressed," Seonghwa added.
"I'm sorry, I won't say something like that again," I said.
"You really can't because we could get into a little trouble for it," Hongjoong said. He looked disappointed, in me. I looked down and nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable at the thought of Hongjoong being disappointed in me because I don't like upsetting him.
"There's no need to be upset baby, we aren't mad," Hongjoong assured me quickly. I just nodded sadly and followed them back to the group.
~~~~~
It's the next day and I'm once again, back in the gym and practicing with Taewon. If I thought some of the other things he had me doing were hard, this was even worse.
"I want you to squat with the bar and hold it for a minute," he told me. My heart was pounding and I didn't know what to do. I don't think I'll be able to last that long but I know I need to do it. I was doing alright, until the last 10 seconds. it suddenly felt like something in my leg almost snapped and I cried out, tears immediately falling down my face at the pain. Despite the pain, I still managed to get through to the end.
"It's done," he told me. The minute the words left his mouth, I immediately threw the bar back to the floor, knowing there was no way I would be able to get it up to the rack. I sat down quickly and grabbed my thigh, sobbing in pain as it hurt a lot.
"You can stop for tonight," he said with a scoff, continuing his ritual of leaving me alone despite the state I was in. I managed to crawl to my bag, searching through before pulling out my phone. I quickly found the contact of our manager before dialling.
"Hey Yeosang, what's up," he asked me.
"Hyungwon Hyung, something's wrong with my leg, I need to go to hospital," I gasped out.
"Where are you," he asked quickly.
"The gym," I sniffled.
"Stay where you are Yeosang, I will be there in a few minutes," he said.
"Ok," I replied before hanging up. True to his word, he came a few minutes later and carried me to the car, driving me to the hospital. I was quickly placed in a hospital bed and checked out by the doctors before they put something on my thigh and told me to wait while they get the results and left me alone. That meant I could think about what happened and I immediately felt stupid for letting myself get hurt and not trying to stand up for myself. I should have tried to stop him, done whatever I could, no matter the cost. I immediately felt guilty for thinking that, because the cost would be at Wooyoung's expense, not mine. I was just laying in the bed, not doing much when the door suddenly opened and Hongjoong rushed in. Shit, this is what I didn't want. I just hope it's only Hongjoong and not the other's because I really don't want to be answering a heap of questions. I also hope he isn't too mad because I did kind of promise I wouldn't overdo it but I was worse this time. To my surprise though, he didn't seem way to mad, more worried. He stopped by the side of the bed and gently brushed my hair from my forehead.
"How're you feeling," he asked gently.
"My legs a bit sore but other than that, I'm fine," I shrugged, trying to play it off a bit.
"What happened," he asked, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.
"I did a few too many squats," I lied.
"I warned you not to overdo it Sang," he said with a sigh.
"I'm sorry, it was a mistake. I wasn't paying enough attention," I told him. I noticed and odd look cross over Hongjoong's face as he sat down on the bed beside me and grabbed my hand gently. To be honest, he was kind of worrying me, maybe it would have been better to have no one here.
"Is everything ok Yeosang? Is there something you need to talk about, or want to talk about," he asked softly. I tried not to show how much a panicked at his words, not wanting him to get suspicious.
"Everything is fine," I said quickly.
"If you're having trouble with anything, you can always talk to me ok, I'll always be here," he said, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. I stayed quiet and looked down, trying to think of what to say. I know he would want to know what's happening but Taewon threatened Wooyoung so I can't tell him. Plus it's helping build up my muscles really well as they said, and that's a good thing considering I can't sing or dance as well as the other members.
"You know the boys appreciate you a lot right, and so do I," Hongjoong suddenly said quietly. I looked up at his words and frowned slightly.
"I know," I said quickly. He looked over at me and his eyes traced my face slowly. I don't really know what he's doing but it's not going to help him figure out what's happening so I don't really care.
"You trust me right Yeosang," he said.
"Of course I do," I replied immediately. Why would he think I don't trust him?
"Tell me if any of this get's uncomfortable yeah," he said quietly. I was confused at his words but I nodded slowly. I jumped slightly when Hongjoong lowered the blanket and lifted my shirt. I was a little nervous and self-conscious, not sure what he was trying to do but I was also intrigued so I just let him continue. He gently traced over his abs with his finger and instead of feeling uncomfortable, it actually felt kind of soothing.
"You've got a very nice physique Yeosangie," he said gently. I raised an eyebrow up at him but he just continued to trace them for a few more seconds before placing his palm on them.
"If the reason you're working out so much is to try and gain more defined muscles because you think you need to then you shouldn't because you're perfect how you are," he told me firmly. While that wasn't technically the reason, I felt touched by his words. I moved my hand and placed it on top of his, lacing our fingers together slightly.
"You shouldn't be working yourself so hard Yeosang, because we don't need you to change. We love our perfect little sassy statue," he said. I willed myself not to tear up at such simple words but for some reason, I feel like it's something I really needed to hear. I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, hugging him tightly which he quickly reciprocated.
"Thank you Hyung. I promise from now on I won't go so hard," I said, making him chuckle.
"You probably won't get a chance to because you most likely won't be able to do much for a while," he said softly. I didn't get a chance to reply as the doctor walked in and we quickly moved apart.
"It's nothing too bad but Yeosang-ssi has strained a muscle in his thigh. I recommend he doesn't do any strenuous activities for at least two weeks," he told us. I felt myself go pale and I clenched my fist slightly. What the hell is going to happen with Taewon now that I can't really do anything?
"Thank you sir, is it ok if we take Yeosang home now," Hongjoong asked him.
"Of course," he nodded before leaving. Hongjoong quickly turned around in front of me and motioned for me to get on his back so I did so. Hongjoong carried me to the car and Hyungwon drove us home. I wonder how Hongjoong even got to the hospital. Maybe Hyungwon went and picked him up. The other members immediately panicked when they saw Hongjoong helping me inside and me wincing slightly. Wooyoung shot up from the couch where he was watching TV and rushed to me, quickly checking me over.
"What happened," Seonghwa asked quickly.
"He overdid it at the gym," Hongjoong replied.
"Again," Yunho said with a frown, receiving a nod from Hongjoong. Ouch.
"He strained a muscle in his thigh so he can't do much for the next 2 weeks," Hongjoong told everyone. I felt a little bad as everyone's faces dropped and they didn't seem very impressed. Whoops.
"What'll we do during practice," Jongho asked.
"I'll discuss it with CEO-nim tomorrow and figure something out," Hongjoong said with a sigh. I didn't mean to cause so many problems.
"Come on Yeosangie, let's sit you down," Wooyoung said, helping me over to a chair by the table. Everyone went back to what they were doing and Hongjoong went to his room, probably to organise a meeting with our CEO.
"I'll be back in a bit," Wooyoung said, giving my a quick kiss on my forehead before leaving. I was left alone but not for long as Seonghwa walked over.
"You doing ok," he asked me. I just shrugged, not really in the mood to do anything at all, it's been a long day.
"Alright, what do you want for dinner," he asked me.
"I want to die," I grumbled instantly, not being able to stop myself as I really wasn't paying enough attention, too far in my head. What is with me and saying stupid shit that's going to get me into a lot of trouble. Seonghwa's eyes were wide and his lips parted slightly in shock at my words.
"I mean, chicken sounds good," I corrected weakly. Seonghwa's face darkened I realised I had really, really screwed up this time. He picked me up quickly and carried me out of the kitchen, all the way to my room before depositing me on my bed, gently. He knelt in front of me and frowned.
"That isn't funny Yeosang. You can't be going around and making jokes like that," he said, slight anger seeping into his voice. I sighed and lowered my head into my hands, rubbing at my face as I really couldn't be bothered dealing with yet another slip up. I felt gently hands on my wrists and they were slowly tugged down, making come face to face with Seonghwa again. His expression had softened significantly and he looked at me gently.
"You weren't joking were you. You made a joke like a few days ago at bungee jumping as well," he said worriedly. I tensed slightly, unsure how to proceed. On one hand I can lie and say nothing is wrong and probably make him even more worried or I can be a little truthful. I do trust Seonghwa a lot, especially talking about deep stuff like this. He's like a mum.
"Sometimes I have thoughts. Brief ones, not too frequent but they're still there," I admitted quietly. Seonghwa moved so he was sitting on the bed beside me and held my hand, showing he was listening.
"I would never do anything like that, but sometimes things get too much and I just have thoughts," I said. His eyes became a little watery and he hugged me tightly, patting my hair.
"I love you Yeosang, a lot. If you ever need to talk about something, I will always be there, no matter what I'm doing," he said firmly as he pulled back.
"I know," I said, giving him a small smile.
"Promise you'll talk to me ok," he asked.
"I promise," I nodded. I felt guilty, knowing it was another promise I'm already breaking, images of Taewon and the feelings of exhaustion flashing through my mind. Seonghwa smiled softly and wiped his slightly teary eyes before kissing my cheek softly.
"Do you still want me to get you some chicken," he asked me.
"I'm alright, I'm not too hungry to be honest. I think I'd just prefer to sleep a bit," I replied.
"That's ok. Do you need help with anything," he asked gently.
"I'm alright," I replied. He nodded and pat my head softly before leaving. I quickly got dressed, turned off the light and laid down in bed. I was laying there for an hour, not really falling asleep when the door opened and I noticed Wooyoung quietly walk in. The light was off so I kept my eyes open and watched as he quietly moved around and got changed. When he started to move closer to me rather than his bed, I closed my eyes, unsure what he was going to do. I was taken a little by surprise when he slowly and softly moved me over to the side before laying down and pulling me into his arms. I immediately felt safe and warm in his embrace so I relaxed and cuddled closer, nuzzling my head into his chest.
"You've been working really hard Sangie, you can rest now," he said quietly.
"I love you," I whispered.
"I love you too," he replied softly, pulling me closer. That's how I once again fell asleep, cuddled protectively in his arms.
~~~~~
Sitting out during practices wasn't very fun but the boys made sure to try and include me whenever they could. It was nice and it made me feel a bit better. I managed to get out of the gym with Taewon for about 2 days before he got annoyed and made me come again. Apparently having an injured leg isn't an excuse to not come and I need o still work on my arms. He insisted I had to work out and that's how I found myself in the gym, doing weights for over an hour.
"That's good enough for now. As soon as your leg is better, we will be working harder but you're done for today," he said. We? How is it we? It's just him torturing me. Once he left, I just stayed sitting on the seat I was on, not really wanting to go home. I felt down, really down and I was having trouble keeping my mind clear. I don't know why it suddenly now feels like I'm reaching the end of my rope, I feel beat down and helpless. Even when I'm injured, he still insists to bring me down. I found myself really wanting to talk to someone but I can't talk to my members, not now anyway. I sighed and grabbed my phone, scrolling through my contacts to see if one stuck out to me. And one did. I quickly paused on Changbin's number. We don't know each other extremely well but we've met quite a few times through Wooyoung and he's generally been someone that's easy to talk to. He's always told me I can message him anytime if I need anything, I just hope he meant it.
Me: Hey, it's Yeosang. I know this is really random and out of the blue but can we please meet up somewhere?
It didn't take long for him to reply at all.
Changbin: Yeah of course. Just give me a time and location
Me: Any chance we could meet up at the park between our companies? The one that's pretty secluded and empty usually
Changbin: Of course, I can be there in 15 minutes
Me: Thanks
I quickly grabbed my bag and walked to the front, calling an Uber and getting taken to the park. I immediately saw Changbin standing near the front and I made my way slowly over to him. He smiled at me and pulled him into a tight hug before taking me over to a tree where we sat down.
"So what's up," he asked turning to me.
"Not much, I just wanted to talk I think," I said awkwardly.
"What's wrong," he asked.
"I can't tell you, I can't tell anyone," I said with a frown.
"Whatever it is, it will be ok," he assured me. If only he knew. He'd be doing the same thing as me.
"I don't want Wooyoung hurt," I said shaking my head. Changbin tensed at my words, worry in his eyes.
"Is someone threatening Youngie," he asked quickly. I'm so done with everything right now, I just want it to stop!
"Yeah, in a way," I nodded.
"Yeosang what's going on? Is someone hurting you," he asked, worry evident in his voice. I moved away from him a little bit and leaned against the tree.
"I shouldn't be complaining. I'm getting stronger and getting more defined muscles but it just hurts so much and I'm exhausted every day," I whispered. He slipped his hand into mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"You can trust me Yeosang, with whatever it is," he said gently. I just want it to stop.
"I have a physical trainer, Lee Taewon. He's not a very good man. He doesn't necessarily physically hurt me but I still get physically hurt, I don't know how to explain it. He doesn't hit me but I still feel beat down. He makes me workout with the windows closed and no water, if I make mistakes he makes do planks for ages, or he makes me hold a squat for a long time. That's how I hurt my leg, he made me do a squat for a minute and I strained a muscled. By the time I finished explaining, he had pulled me into a hug and I was sobbing into his shoulder.
"I shouldn't complain but I tried so hard to put up with it, I just can't do it anymore," I cried.
"You have every right to be upset Yeosang, it's abuse, plain and simple," he said. I wouldn't really go so far are to say it's abuse.
"It isn't abuse. He isn't actually hitting me," I said with a sniffle.
"Not every form of abuse has to involve getting hit. Taewon is abusing you Yeosang," he said softly. I cuddled closer to him, grabbing his shirt gently.
"I just want it to stop," I whispered.
"You need to tell the other's Yeosang. Let them know what is happening so they can get your CEO to look after him, make sure he can't go near you again," Changbin said. I immediately tensed at the thought.
"No, I can't. I can't let Wooyoung get hurt," I said quickly.
"He would never have been able to touch Wooyoung Yeosang, he's probably too much of a coward. The minute he did, he would end up in prison," Changbin said gently.
"Are you sure," I asked nervously.
"Positive. If you tell them, nothing will happen to Wooyoung," he said. I thought about it for a few seconds before coming to a decision.
"I don't want to be the one to be the one to tell them," I said shaking my head.
"I can be there with you and I can tell them what you told me but you need to be the one to help explain it," he said.
"Ok, we can do that," I nodded. He helped me up and we walked to the front of the park where his driver was waiting.
"Can you take us to the ATEEZ dorm please," Changbin asked as we buckled in. He's been over a few times, visiting Wooyoung so his driver already knew where to go. Once we got there, he helped me to the door and I unlocked it before we went inside. It's around lunch time so they were all sitting on the dining table and eating, (except Hongjoong) but they stopped when they saw us. I knew they could straight away tell that I had been crying, I probably had red, puffy eyes. Wooyoung jumped up and walked over, giving me a hug before hugging Changbin.
"What're you doing here Binnie," he asked as he pulled away.
"Yeosang messaged me and we caught up for a chat. I think you all need to have a talk, it's important," Changbin said. Wooyoung glanced over at me in worry but I quickly looked down.
"Guys we need to have a team meeting," he said.
"I'll call Hongjoong and get him back here. You all go into the loungeroom," Seonghwa said. Changbin guided me to the loungeroom and we sat on the couch, cuddled up together. The other's also sat down on the couches.
"What's going on," Jongho asked. I bit my lip nervously, not knowing what to say but I didn't need to say anything.
"We'll wait until Hongjoong Hyung get's here to explain," Changbin said. I'm glad Changbin is here because I don't think I'd be able to tell them myself.
"Why were you crying Yeosangie," San asked quietly.
"Just be patient San," Changbin said. Wooyoung sat next to me and grabbed my hand, holding it tightly. Hongjoong got home a few minutes later and sat down next to Seonghwa, looking confused.
"Do you still want me to tell them," Changbin whispered. I sighed but nodded. I want it to stop so they need to know. I quickly leaned closer to Wooyoung to whisper in his ear.
"Please don't hate me..."
Wooyoung's POV
Don't hate him? I don't think I could ever physically hate Yeosang as long as I live. I tried to give him a reassuring smile to show him that whatever it is, it'll be fine but he looked down at the floor.
"Yeosang wanted me to tell you because he doesn't really feel up to it," Changbin said. Whatever it is, I hope he stops beating around the bush and just tells us. I'm starting to get really worried and anxious and I can tell the other's are as well.
"Just tell us Changbin," Seonghwa said with a frown. See what I mean.
"Yeosang's trainer, Taewon, he's been abusing him. The reason why Yeosang is always working out is because he's being forced to but that's not the worst part. Taewon's been effectively torturing him. Making him workout in a boiling room with no water, punishing him by making him do planks for outrageous times, making him hold a weighted squat for a long time, that's how he hurt his leg. Yeosang's exhausted and he's been getting hurt because of that asshole," Changbin explained. There were multiple gasps from the other's but I was speechless and my stomach dropped. Someone's been hurting Yeosangie? I looked down at him in shock before hugging him tightly. He whimpered and quickly clung to me instead of Changbin. I felt guilty, knowing this has been happening for a long time and none of us even knew it was happening. There was a small sob and I originally thought it was Yeosang but his head shot up with wide eyes and he looked across from us. I looked over and saw Seonghwa sobbing into his hands while Hongjoong was hugging him, quiet tears falling down his own face. Yeosang quickly looked away and turned his into my shoulder and I could feel him crying. In fact pretty much everyone was crying in some way, even if just a few tears though none of mine had fallen yet.
"Why did you never tell us," Jongho spoke up shakily. Yeosang didn't move from my hold, just shook his head.
"It's the same reason he let it happen in the first place," Changbin said quietly, glancing up at me. Wow Changbin, way to be cryptic. If we don't know why he didn't tell us, how would we know why he let it happen? Yeosang needs to tell us, it must've been something pretty significant. I frowned and kissed the top of Yeosang's head softly.
"Yeosang. Why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you," I said gently.
"I couldn't because I was scared," he whispered. What was he scared of? I quickly slid of the couch so I was in front of him and knelt down. He looked up at me with his tear-filled eyes and I wiped the tears away before placing a kiss to his forehead.
"Why were you scared," I asked him. It seemed to be the wrong thing to ask though as he burst into even more tears and moved away from me. I tried to pull him back but Changbin quickly grabbed him and pulled him onto his own lap, letting Yeosang cry and hug him. I almost snapped at Changbin to stop interfering but I knew he was just looking after Yeosang so I stayed quiet.
"Taewon was threatening someone and Yeosang didn't want them hurt so he never said anything," Changbin said, his voice sounding sad. I froze at his words and I felt my blood run cold, knowing exactly who it would've been. It's no secret Yeosang and I are best friends and we've known each other for ages. Many people have tried to exploit that before and I know Yeosang would never let anything happen that could possibly hurt me. He literally said that a few days ago but I didn't realise exactly what he was talking about. Now I do. I felt my eyes well up with tears but I desperately tried not to let them fall yet.
"Taewon was threatening me, that's why Yeosang never did anything," I said shakily, looking up at Changbin. He sighed but nodded sadly. I wanted out of that room. Knowing my best friend was hurt because of me made me feel like I didn't even deserve to be near him. I let out a sob and jumped up trying to rush to the front door but my wrist was suddenly grabbed and I was yanked backwards into someone's embrace. I knew it was San, with his stupid soulmate sense so I just collapsed in his arms and sobbed. I felt terrible for not knowing sooner and not being able to protect Yeosang when all along he was just trying to protect me.
"I'm so s-sorry. I'm so s-sorry for causing you p-pain," I sobbed, not even bearing to look at him. They may not think it but Yeosang would've said something if I wasn't threatened. It's my fault.
Yeosang's POV
When I heard Wooyoung apologized, I was confused. Why the hell would he be apologizing for something that is out of his control? I turned my head slightly from Changbin's embrace and my heart broke slightly at the sight of Wooyoung curled up in San's arms on the ground, sobbing miserably. I never wanted to upset him. I whined slightly and reached a hand out sadly.
"Yeosang. Do you remember the talk we had a few days ago?" I turned my head and looked over at Seonghwa who was crying a bit less now. Yes, I definitely remember that conversation. I nodded in reply.
"Is this why you were feeling that way," he asked in a small voice.
"Yeah, I guess. I just, I wanted it to just stop sometimes," I said quietly. Seonghwa quickly stood up and walked over slowly.
"Can I hug you," he asked shakily. I quickly jumped up and wrapped my arms around him, feeling him squeeze me in return. Yunho and Mingi both quickly got up and joined the hug. We stayed like that for a few minutes before pulling apart. I immediately noticed that Changbin had gone, I really need to thank him later. I turned my attention to Wooyoung and San, noticing they were sitting beside each other on the couch. San's hand was resting on Wooyoung's shoulder and Wooyoung was looking at his lap. I quickly moved over, falling into Wooyoung's lap and hugging him as tight as I could without hurting him.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, hugging me back and burying his face in my shoulder.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," I replied honestly.
"You got hurt because of me," he said and I quickly shook my head.
"It wasn't your fault Youngie, it's Taewon's," I said firmly. He lifted his head up and kissed my cheek softly a few times, still crying.
"I'll be ok," I said quietly.
"You shouldn't have been in that situation in the first place," he said with a sniffle. I gripped him tighter, trying to help him calm down a little but he was too upset.
"We should have protected you. We should have realised something was wrong and helped you," he said, a hint of anger in his voice. I knew it wasn't at me, it was at him as he was setting unrealistic standards. There was no way for them to know unless they were there or I told them. I just need to find away to reassure him that it isn't as bad as he thinks.
"In a way it wasn't that bad. I'm stronger now and I can contribute more to the group considering I don't really do much but now my body looks better," I pointed out.
"Kang Yeosang." I winced slightly and looked behind me to see Hongjoong knelt down with a frown on his face.
"We already talked about this at the hospital didn't we," he said. I bit my lip nervously, briefly remembering a conversation we may have had.
"We already love you exactly as you are and you always contribute," he clarified. I nodded slowly at his words.
"That doesn't mean I can't still make myself better," I pointed out.
"You don't need to force yourself to be better Yeosang. You're perfect as you are," San said. Their words meant a lot but right now, I just want to relax and not worry about anything.
"I'm just tired, I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want a break," I said, leaning back against Wooyoung.
"I'll talk to our CEO tomorrow, I promise. I'll make sure you never see him again and we'll always have someone with you whenever you do future workouts," Hongjoong assured me quickly.
"Ok. Can I please sleep some more," I asked.
"Of course baby, let's get you to your bed," Seonghwa said immediately. He and Wooyoung helped me to my room and to my bed, Wooyoung cuddling up in the bed beside me while the other's left.
"This is nice," I whispered, snuggling into his chest. He immediately tightened his hold on me and let out a deep breath.
"We can do this whenever you want. Every night if you want that," he said. I smiled into his chest and relaxed.
"Thank you Youngie," I said quietly.
"You protected me Yeosang, now it's my turn to protect you."
A/N
This was requested by my very good friend 3shinjirarenai3 and I hope you like it P.S It's nice and long for you :)
Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it!