It's late Thursday night, and I can't believe that tomorrow is my last day here. It was a super busy day. I was able to sit in and hear the members practice their acapella chorus, and they have it down to perfection. They are so ready for their upcoming trip to America; I'm thrilled that all the hard work everyone has put in is going to come to fruition. I let them all know how proud I am of them and what an honor it has been to work in conjunction with their company.
As people leave for the day, I slip down into my studio space and resume packing, replying to last-minute emails and wrapping up loose ends. I reflect on the fact that this has been both the best and most challenging work experiences I've ever had, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I've been working diligently for a few hours, my neck is stiff, and I feel like I need to stretch. Pulling up my playlists on the computer, I select Leon Bridges, "Coming Home," and fill the entire studio with his soulful voice.
The richness in his voice envelops me, and I sway back and forth, gliding between boxes. The blues feed my soul like no other music. I sing along with abandon while giving my body a much-needed stretch to help relieve my sore muscles.
Next, I'm treated to Aretha Franklin. Nobody can sing like Aretha, but since I'm alone, I sing along with abandon; it's the music I'm most comfortable singing.
I turn in a circle, belting out lyrics, only to find Yoongi leaning against my door with a soft smile on his lips. In one hand is a bouquet of wildflowers and in the other a bag of takeout. I jump into an upright position clutching my heart from being startled.
"Yoongi, you scared the shit out of me," I laugh nervously.
"Oh, don't let me stop you. I love having front row seats to this show," his voice is slow and seductive, and I can already feel the heat rising up through me.
"W..what are you doing here?" I muster the strength to ask as I try and catch my breath.
He saunters over to me and hands me the most beautiful bouquet of wildflowers I've ever seen. The colors remind me of autumn in my hometown back in New Hampshire. The reds, oranges, and yellows are dotted with a few deep blue flowers, and I've never seen anything like it since I've been in Korea.
"These are for you."
"These are gorgeous!"
"Gorgeous like you," his voice is steady and matter of fact. It isn't teasing or mocking, and for the first time, I hear him admit that he fancies me as well.
My mouth slightly agape, I blink at him blankly, my mind racing while my heart thumps in my throat. I've fantasized about Yoongi and I having a moment together like this, but I never thought it would come to fruition, and I feel utterly unprepared as I freeze in place.
"You said you would say yes to a date, so I brought the date to you," his words are soft and intentional.
"This is...wow...Yoongi...I'm so surprised," I force out as I try to process what is happening. It feels like the riptide is going to sweep me into an ocean full of uncertainty.
"Your contract is up tomorrow, but I'm done waiting," he whispers, and the words fall on me like a passage I've read in a fairy tale.
I nod at him as he walks over to the couch and starts taking containers out of the takeout bag. "Come sit and eat before it gets cold."
Sitting down, he hands me a set of utensils while urging me to dig in but I'm so overwhelmed I feel tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
"Yoongi, what do you mean you've been waiting?" My quivering voice questions. "I thought you said you wanted to keep things professional. I'm so confused!" I whisper shakily, and a wayward tear escapes leaving a wet trail down my cheek.
After our moment in the hallway yesterday, when he didn't ask me to stay after work and talk, I assumed I was reading the situation wrong and resigned to the fact that I was succumbing to my unrequited ways again.
"Lily," he whispers, gently wiping the tear from my cheek with his thumb, and I tremble under his touch.
The trembling I feel in Yoongi's presence is entirely different than anything I experienced with Jimin. This is me struggling with a thousand emotions that I don't know how to put into words; it's difficult to cope with being given something you thought you'd never have a chance at experiencing.
He leans over, approaching me slowly as if not to scare me away, offering me a piece of beef, gently raising it to my lips, "Try this," his voice is deep and thoughtful. This act of sharing feels like the most profound act of intimacy; however, it's completely erotic at the same time.
When Hobi and I feed each other, it's playful and silly, but this...this is nothing like that. I've never seen Yoongi do this with anyone in all my time here, and nobody dares invade his personal space. His eyes scan over my entire body, and I feel naked as if he is the first person to really see me for who I am.
"I wanted to keep it professional while you were under contract, Lily. I've always thought you were amazing, and I didn't want to risk your career. I'm a hard person to care about, I'm busy, I struggle with my emotions, I'm obsessed with making music, I tour around the world for years, I am too direct, and sometimes I can be a little mean for absolutely no reason," he sighs, catching his breath. "I would never want you to risk your career when my track record with relationships isn't that great."
"Oh Yoongi," I reply softly, bravely lifting my shaky hand to brush it over his cheek. His skin is as soft as I imagined it would be a thousand times over. "Don't say things like that about yourself. We all have our faults and darkness, but I've always seen the light in you."
He puts down his utensils and snakes a soft hand around the back of my neck slowly pulling us together. My body quivering, his approach feels as if it were in slow motion. I feel the heat radiating off his body as he stops just inches away from my face. "May I?" He whispers.
"Please...." I breathe out. When his lips gently press against mine, my heart melts. Our kisses are soft, chaste at first as we gently explore each other. I feel his hands run through my hair as we move closer together. My eyes closed, I lose myself in his touch.
"Lily, I've wanted to kiss you for so long," he breathes into my mouth. His tongue explores mine, intertwining, our kisses deepening. Dragging my hand through his hair, I feel where his undercut fades into fluffy untamed locks. My heart is pounding as I feel his hands wander up and down the length of my back.
I lose track of time as my swollen lips try and drink in all of him. His lips are soft and experienced. I can't imagine kissing anyone else would ever be this sweet. I'm afraid I may never have this opportunity with him again, so I take every advantage to touch his hair and his face trying to commit it all to memory.
His fingertips dance along the length of my arm, causing a small moan to escape from deep inside of me. We're both breathless when he finally breaks our kiss, pulling in to hold me, our hearts pounding together.
He sits back, his chocolatey brown eyes glimmery and glassy as they peer into mine. He runs his thumb over my swollen lip. "You're as sweet as I imagined."
"You're amazing," I reply in a haze, feeling hypnotized under his gaze.
He smiles gently at me, "Come, let's eat, everything will be cold soon. We eat quietly, our thighs pressed against each other. I struggle to control my heartbeat when occasionally he squeezes my knee affectionately as if he is reminding me he is still there.
When we finish our meal, he crosses the room and sits down at the piano. "Come sit with me," he beckons, patting the bench quickly I slide in next to him. "I've been working on this, and I'd love to know what you think of it."
He slowly plays a beautiful melody; I watch as his hands float across the keys. He has the hands of an artist, long fingers that were born to create. He masterfully plays a Major D chord as his right-hand dances across the black and white keys, his body moving as he pushes the sustain pedal. He's speaking my love language, and I'm answering the call as I drown under waves of infatuation for the man next to me.
When his playing ceases, he turns towards me, "What did you th...." but before he can finish speaking, I turn and straddle the piano bench. Soaking in the delicate features of his face, I cup both his cheeks gently in my hands. I kiss him with unbridled passion, trying desperately to relay all my unspoken feelings for him.
Yoongi doesn't pull away, I feel his hands on my thighs for a moment, and he quickly changes his position to straddle the bench as well. Scooting toward him, I boldly wrap my legs around his waist, closing the gap between us.
"Darling, we don't have to move too fast. I'm not going anywhere." I hear him say as he nips at my ear and peppers kisses down the length of my neck. I know his intent is to be considerate, but his voice is so deep and sexy that it has the opposite effect.
"I adore you. It's always been you, Yoongi, I've been wishing for you." My words come out in soft, breathy moans that I place softly in his ear. "I'm finally receiving the chance to have you be part of my life, and now you're going to be leaving for the states soon and then on tour...." I say, looking deeply into his eyes. He knows I'm telling him I see the bigger picture. Time isn't on our side.
I'm in love with you. Don't say it, Lily. It's too soon!
"Oh, sweet Lily," he breathes out, and I feel his hands slide down my sides, grasping the bottom of my shirt to slide it up over my head. As he discards my shirt, a few light notes escape as it lands crumbled onto the piano keys.
His hands wander over the delicate white lace of my bra, his tongue grazing the tops of my breasts as they strain against the lace. Although I would love to date Yoongi and slowly progress through a romantic relationship before we ever took it this far, I feel like after all we've gone through over the past few months, if we don't make our move now, the moment may slip away.
Gently grinding against him in response to his touch, he reaches down under my ass, scooping me up onto his lap. The muscles in my sex begin contracting, already wet and ready for him. I'm afraid I might orgasm just from his touch. Dragging his hand back up to my breast, his thumb pushes the lace over my erect nipple to the side, and the friction makes me cry out.
"Lovely," I hear him praise as his expert tongue swirls around my nipple, making it stand at attention. I tilt my head back in ecstasy, hearing our moans filling the room.
"Oh, Yoongi.....Baby!" I whisper just for him as I imagine what his tongue would feel like buried between my thighs.
We're both moaning and pawing at each other lovingly, our lips meeting for another passionate kiss, and I feel like I may faint. This is what was missing with Jimin, the emotion, with him, it was fireworks but no earth-shattering boom. My feelings for Yoongi make me feel like my heart might explode at any minute. He's the person I've been holding out for during the last three years.
This is my person.
Our touches feel like expressions of love, not just lust, it's so much more than that. Like we are finally reading a love letter that we've been quietly writing over the last several months.
Sliding my hand to the waistband of his pants, his stomach sucks in at my touch, and he growls in a deep tone encouraging me as I fumble with the button on his pants. My trembling fingers tug at the zipper while I struggle with my overwhelming need for him.
"FUCKING WHORE!"
The words come crashing into my eardrums, and everything stops. I turn in shock to see Minjun standing just inside my studio door.
"I knew when I didn't see you come home tonight, you'd be here fucking someone, you goddamn whore! You never called me, but you've been fucking all of them!" He screams, pointing at Yoongi.
I'm absolutely terrified. Yoongi's eyes darken, I see his hand reach into his pants pocket for a moment, and then he is handing me my shirt.
"First, I see Hoseok and Park stay the entire night at your house. Then you dance around in your underwear on stage, and then stay at Hoseok's house all night!"
I hurriedly try to cover myself up while in a state of shock. That's when my eyes dart past Minjun and catch a glimpse of Jimin standing in the hallway behind him. Jimin and I make eye contact, and quickly he puts his finger to his lips, warning me not to give away that he is there. I avert my eyes back to Minjun.
"You...you've been following me?"
"All those times you flirted with me in the kitchenette, and now you're mad that I was looking out for you?" His thoughts are unhinged, and he appears to be sober, which frightens me even more because it signals to me he has no grasp on reality.
"I never flirted with you!" I say with surprise.
"Nobody teases me and gets away with it!" he yells at the top of his lungs.
Yoongi steps in front of me, shielding me from Minjun, which seems to trigger Minjun even more. He lunges forward towards us with his hands up, threatening harm.
Complete chaos breaks out as Jimin goes into action, striking Minjun with two swift kicks that throw him off balance. Yoongi and Jimin jump on Minjun, pinning him to the ground, and my adrenaline is shooting through the roof.
I appreciate the boys immobilizing Minjun, but I'm seething inside. I was beaten as a child, but there is no way in hell I'm taking abuse now as an adult. I walk up and kick Minjun as hard as I can in the middle of his chest and knock the wind out of him as he gasps.
"Lily, you're safe; it's okay now," I hear Jimin's words faintly in the background, but they can't compete with the sound of my thumping heartbeat pounding in my ears.
I crouch down to look Minjun in the eyes. "Look, you crazy mother fucker," my voice comes out eerily calm and low. "Just because a woman talks to you doesn't mean she likes you, and it doesn't give you the right to stalk her. I swear to God, Minjun, if you ever come near my home again, I will fucking kill you. Do you hear me?" His eyes shift away from mine, "Don't you dare look away from me now, you coward! Do you hear me? I... will... fucking...kill...you! I refuse to be a victim ever again!" My words are calm and calculated as the tension builds between all of us. Minjun's eyes widen into saucers, his jaw slacks in shock as my words wash over him.
Two security guards come crashing down the hallway with the police in tow. Yoongi and Jimin let the police take over as they handcuff Minjun and remove him from the building.
Hours slip away quickly while the police are still taking statements. Yoongi glances over to me and notices me rubbing my finger over my wrist where the visible bruise remains from Minjun hurt me at the festival, and I can see the worry in his eyes. As the night deepens, Seijin arrives to speak to the police and assess the situation.
When the police and security finally clear the room, Seijin pulls Jimin and Yoongi into the hallway. I hear hushed tones as I sit on my couch, shaking all over. When they reenter the studio, both Jimin and Yoongi look like they have seen a ghost.
Seijin looks at me with regret, "Lily, it would be best if you don't come back tomorrow. We are going to have your contract end tonight, and we will send your things back over to NORAE. Why don't you grab what you need right now, and I will walk you out."
"We'll walk her out," Yoongi cuts in.
"I'm going to need your badge," Seijin says, avoiding eye contact. I shakily hand him my badge as I watch my access to Big Hit slip away. My time here is ending in complete disaster, and I can't believe my world is falling apart around me.
Silently, I gather my coat and purse and grab a small box of my personal effects. Jimin quietly takes the box from me, and Yoongi helps me put on my coat as the shock starts to settle in. "Come on, Darling, I'm going to bring you home," Yoongi says quietly.
Jimin walks us to the car and puts the box in the backseat for me. He leans in and gives me a tight hug rubbing my back over my coat. "I can't thank you enough for always being my protector," I choke out.
"Lily, I will always be here for you no matter what. I'm so proud of you," he replies softly, holding the car door open for me. "You two have a safe trip."
Yoongi nods and proceeds to drive me home as we pull up to my building, he asks where he can park inconspicuously, and I show him where my spot in our parking garage is. I don't have a car, the spot is just included with my rent which is an unusual perk of a building in the city where most people take public transportation.
"You really don't have to walk me up," I reply listlessly.
"I'm not leaving you tonight," he declares as he reaches over and squeezes my knee. He grabs the box out of the backseat and carries it up to my apartment. When we arrive, I lock the door behind me, removing our shoes. Yoongi places the box on the table, and when he turns around, the tears are streaming down my face.
He walks over and pulls me into an embrace, smoothing my hair with his hands. "My brave girl, this is my fault. I should have waited one more night to come to you. I made it that long; I should have waited one more night! I was being selfish..." His voice is pained with guilt.
"Please, Yoongi, don't say that. If you hadn't been there, I don't know what he would have done to me," I shiver, and he pulls me closer. "I don't even understand how security and the police knew to come!"
"I have a panic button," Yoongi replies quietly in my ear while he rubs my back, trying to soothe me.
"A what?"
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a keychain with a black plastic piece. "I have a panic button; actually, all seven of us have them. If I push it, they know I need to be saved."
"Yoongi...." I exclaim softly, "I never knew..."
"You see all of us so clearly as regular people that I think you forget maybe how much we are worth. Any one of us would be valuable to a kidnapper," he whispers matter of factly.
"Oh, Yoongi, that's so scary for you all!"
"This is exactly one of the many reasons that I have feelings for you. You were almost attacked tonight, and instead, you are standing here caring about others. Why are you so amazing?"
"OK, now I'm going to really cry," I warn him, and the tears come steadily as all of the events of the night start to sink in.
Yoongi walks me over to my bed and climbs in. "Come here, darling, it's ok to cry. There is no shame in it." I crawl over next to him, and he pulls me onto him resting my head on his chest, and he just lets me cry, stroking my hair until I fall asleep wrapped safely in his arms.