"I'm going to miss having lunch with you two so much!"
I look at Jin and Hana seated across from me, and my heart feels heavy knowing that our time together is coming to a close.
"We can still see each other," Hana smiles, but we both know that it won't be the same because Jin can't come out in public with us.
"Maybe we can explore some cafes together. I'd love to keep speaking English with you!" I add cheerfully, trying to mask my sadness.
"That would be great. I would like that!"
"Hana's fluency is impressive now, isn't it, Lily?" The pride in Jin's voice and reflecting in his handsome face is maybe the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed in real life. It's like they are a walking Hallmark movie.
His eyes shine, and I love how proud he is of her. Jin's idol persona can be so over the top, with him professing his good looks and reminding people that he is the eldest. I've even seen him go as far as starting a fight with the others over who "raised" Jungkook with him vehemently declaring it was him, but with Hana, he is nothing less than giving, wrapped in a sea of calm. His love is neither selfish nor over the top, it's caring and authentic, and as a casual observer on the sidelines, it is complete serotonin to me.
"Oh yes, Hana is such a quick study!" I agree, smiling at the two soulmates before me.
"Hey! How are you guys?" Jimin saunters in and pulls a chair up close to me. "Now it's a double date," he says with a wink.
As he sits, intentionally placing his knee so it leans against mine. I feel my pulse quicken, his energy radiating through me.
Ever since he took care of me the night of the disastourous festival, my attraction to Jimin has grown. He understands me in a way nobody else does and it pulls me to him. At the moment I'm not sure what to do with my hormones that are plunging into overdrive over the simplest touch.
I blush, noticing Jin and Hana shoot each other a look, and I know that a thousand silent words just passed between them. I desperately wish I knew their secret and wonder if it would help me gain some clarity.
"Hi Jimin, we were just talking about how Lily's last week with us is coming up."
"I know. Time has passed so quickly!" I sigh.
Under the table, I feel Jimin's hand wander over to my knee. His hand tightens around my kneecap sending a visible shudder through my body. The fire I feel stirring inside me is so intensely hot that I press my knee harder into his letting him know I'm not shying away this time.
Both of us keep our eyes on Jin and Hana, leaving the secret conversation under the table strictly between us.
"Don't worry, we will all keep in touch," Jimin replies, turning to me with the corner of his lip turning up slightly.
"You think?" I meet his gaze, my eyebrow cocked.
"Most definitely," he replies with confidence, and I feel his hand wander slightly higher up my thigh.
He has fully resumed our chess game. With Jimin, I know it's not about a love connection between us, instead it is about matching energies. A kinetic experiment we are both longing for, daring the universe to implode.
I swallow hard, trying to act casual as I glance at my phone, "Look at the time. I really need to head back to my studio." Quietly I slide my hand onto his leg and run my fingertips over his thigh, noticing him take a shallow breath.
"I'm going that way. I will walk you," Jimin replies calmly.
We say our goodbyes to Jin and Hana and walk back to my studio without haste, no words passing between us.
He follows me into my studio without waiting for an invitation. As soon as the door closes I press myself against the wall, my back meeting the flat surface firmly. My chest rising and falling with anticipation. Involuntarily, I look down, afraid to lock eyes with him and then I feel his breath warm near my ear which makes my body quake.
"May I?" he whispers breathily in my ear, asking for consent, and I just about melt into a puddle.
"Please..." I whisper slowly, cranking my neck to the side, feeling the tip of his tongue gently run down my earlobe. Soon his soft pillowy lips are brushing against my neck and I gasp.
His tongue travels slowly down my neck, and automatically I respond by tilting my head giving him access to under my chin while my hands find their way to the nape of his neck. His skin is smooth below my fingertips, and I quiver with anticipation worried my legs may give out beneath me.
"Beautiful," he murmurs.
Hearing him call me Beautiful feels like the validation my soul has been begging for and I lift my leg in response, wrapping it around his waist wanting to feel his hips against mine. He welcomes me by sliding his hand to reach down and grip the pliant skin under my thigh firmly coaxing a sensuous moan from deep inside me. The electricity between us heightens as he grinds his hip into me, my back firmly pressing into the wall reminds me that I'm not dreaming.
He continues his assault on my neck, tilting in response I give him access to the other side, silently begging him to continue his exploration. Rolling my hips to meet him, I feel him hard against me, "Jiminie," I moan. I'm lost in his energy, and I've stopped thinking of anything or anyone else. All the memories of that night of us touching in my apartment come flooding back.
"I love hearing you moan my name," he murmurs between licks, and his words cause me to moan again in delight as I wrap my arms around him, trying desperately to eliminate any space left between us.
Momentarily my heart tries to remind me of Yoongi, but I immediately refuse the thought.
Please, God, no! Stop thinking about him right now!
I can't let my heart stay attached to somebody who is not interested and I panic momentarily trying to push thoughts of Yoongi from my mind.
In a split second, I grab Jimin and flip us so that we change positions. He smiles knowingly as he allows me to back him against the wall. I need to focus my thoughts solely on the only person who has shown any physical interest in me in the last three years.
I deserve this. Hell, I need this.
"I think you're beautiful too," I whisper in his ear, brushing my lips against his earring. I run my fingertips down his neck, my tongue not far behind.
"Lily, you're incredible," he breathes.
"Not really, but I am...incredibly...wet," I say slowly, intentionally placing each word softly in his ear. I'm lost in the feeling of being touched and touching someone and taking some control of how our encounter unfolds fills me with a feminine energy I thought I'd lost long ago. It's as if I'm finally finding my power again.
His physique is perfection; I can feel the definition in every muscle as I taste him. He smells like powder and vanilla, and I desperately want to feel the weight of his body on top of me.
"Baby," he whispers seductively in reply, his hand slowly sliding down to the waistband of my pants, I feel like I might faint.
The knock on the door shocks us both, startling me into an upright position. "You have got to be fucking kidding me," I mutter quietly, feeling frustrated.
I look at Jimin, he's hard and panting. "You should maybe go in the bathroom for a minute," I say, glancing down at the bulge straining against his pants. He smiles faintly and nods, quickly making his way to the en suite.
I smooth my hair over and open the door, trying to act as innocent as if I had just left church on a Sunday morning. "Hi, Tae! What's up?" I pray that I sound normal.
"Nothing. You know the kids think you have run off with another man, so I thought I should come to check in on you," he says, brushing by me and sitting down on the couch.
"I was just hanging out with Jimin. He's in the bathroom," I nod nervously in the direction of the bathroom door.
Jimin comes out a few minutes later, acting as if we weren't almost caught about to risk it all. I clear my throat and nod at him. I notice when Tae wrinkles his nose and shifts his eyes between us.
"Hey, I was just heading out. I'll catch you later, brother," he nods to Tae.
"Beautiful, until next time!" Jimin says, his eyes wild, knowing that calling me "Beautiful" would remind me of what was happening only a few moments ago.
I blush, "See ya, Jiminie."
I am still weak in the knees, so I sit across from Tae and look into his beautiful face. I feel like his eyes are searching mine for answers, but I have none to offer. I honestly don't know how I feel about anything, or anyone, anymore.
"So, how are you?"
"I'm fine, but I wanted to know how you are," he asks thoughtfully.
The last time I saw Tae, I was crying into his shoulder, I blush again but this time out of embarrassment.
"I'm fine now. Can I please tell you how much I appreciate everything you did for me?"
"I didn't do anything, really. I wish I could have helped you more."
"Tae, you are such a genuine person, and I appreciate that so much. You know that, right?"
He smiles and looks around the room at the boxes. "Thank you. I wish you weren't leaving. Working on this comeback with you has been such a different experience. I wish we had time to get to know each other better."
"You have my number, Tae. If you ever want to talk, I will always be around. Who else will talk to me about jazz and sit at my piano with me?"
He smiles and is about to say something when Namjoon knocks on the door. "Am I interrupting?"
"No, please, Namjoon, you're always welcome."
"Hey Joon-hyung, I just dropped in to see how Lily was doing. I should get back to work anyway. I promised a Vlive today."
"Bye, Tae. We will finalize our divorce papers soon so that you can look for a replacement wife," I say with a smirk.
"I'll never sign the paperwork," he declares dramatically and practically chasses out the door.
Joon leans back on the wall near the studio door, and I try not to think about what was just happening in that same spot a few minutes earlier.
Oh my good lord, don't think about it!
"So I just wanted to drop in and ask if you wanted to do something crazy with me for our Namjooning Saturday?"
It seems like I'm up for all kinds of crazy things lately.
"I'm in," I say without hesitation. Something tells me that when it comes to the term "crazy," Namjoon and I are on different wavelengths, and I'm sure his version is pretty tame next to mine.
"Wow, I wasn't expecting you to agree so quickly! How would you feel if we went on a day trip, but it would mean leaving at....three in the morning?"
"Three, you say?" I'm looking for some kind of clue as to what kind of adventure we are about to embark on, but his face gives nothing away.
"Yes, it would take a few hours to get to our destination, but I promise it will be worth it."
"You know what? I trust you. Let's do it!"
His dimpled smile appears, "If it's any consolation, you can nap on the way to our destination."
I giggle, "I have to be honest, I get up at five in the morning most days, but three is a whole other ball game. I may have to take you up on that offer."
"I hope you do. It's settled then, three a.m. Saturday morning it is."
"I'm looking forward to seeing what you have up your sleeve!"
Namjoon winks, "You shall see!"
He saunters out of my studio confident in his plan. I run my fingers through my hair and make a mental list of the day's events:
-I packed up some of my studio.
-In all our heavy petting Jimin and I never actually kissed.
-Tae is definitely suspicious.
-Namjoon wants me to leave my apartment at three in the morning for some secret adventure.
-No matter what I do or say with any of these people, my heart still aches for Yoongi and I loath this about myself.
Too much, this is all too much! I'm in over my head! Next week can't get here fast enough, or can it?