Hello friends! Here is the exciting conclusion of Phantoms! It got a little long, but I'm really looking forward to the next two episodes! They will be a real turning point in John and Kai's relationship. I'm so grateful to all of you amazing readers who have stuck with this story for so long. You keep me engaged and loving writing this one.
Happy Reading!
><><
Phantoms Cont.
><><
John frowned down at Kai. "Holland?" he asked, his eyes clouded with confusion.
"John?" Kai said his name, but it was like he didn't hear her. "John," she snapped his name with more authority, hoping to startle him out of whatever it was he thought he saw. It didn't work, she tried to move, to reach out to touch him, but the motion pulled at her injury and she groaned in pain.
John jerked, the feel and sound of Kai's pain, somehow managing to penetrate the fog in his brain. "Are you okay?" he asked after a moment, kneeling down beside her. His face still looked haunted as though he had seen a ghost.
"Yes," she told him, still watching his face warily for any indication that whatever had caused the other men to turn on each other was about to appear. John was a fantastic soldier and would have been a danger to her at the best of times. The two of them sparred regularly and the only advantage she had was her speed. With her leg, she would be entirely at his mercy. Especially since she wasn't willing to resort to lethal force. She could feel nothing but vague concern through his end of the Bond.
John reached into his vest to pull out emergency medical supplies. "He got you pretty good," he said examining the gun shot wound on Kai's thigh. "Gotta stop the bleeding," he muttered almost to himself. He put a pressure wrap against the wound, tying it off.
Kai watched him, there was a slight tremble to his hands and he was focusing just a little too hard on what he was doing. He pulled the wrap tight and she sucked in a breath. John's eyes snapped to her face and his eyes seemed to clear for a second. Kai felt a flare of worry and she reached out and touched his cheek with her hand.
John caught his breath as he felt a warm pulse in the center of his chest. Kai. It was Kai in front of him. Not Holland. Holland was long since dead. He had already failed him. But Kai was here and she was injured. It was Kai's pain he could feel in the back of his mind like spiders under his skin. Kai's worry pushing past even her own pain. He could focus on that. He needed to take care of Kai. She was injured and he hated that she was more worried about him than about herself.
"Come on, let's get to some cover," he said. He reached down and helped her up.
Kai grit her teeth and didn't make a single noise of the pain she felt flare down her leg. She had been shot before, and this wasn't nearly as painful as when she had been shot in the stomach. John put her arm across his shoulders, using on arm to support her, while holding his side arm in the other hand. Kai drew her own hand gun and kept it in her free hand and the two of them started moving as quickly as they could through the dense underbrush.
They drew up short as they came across a primitive shelter, branches has been fashioned into walls and a camouflage tarp hung as a door. John and Kai exchanged a look and John jerked his chin towards a low hanging tree branch. Kai reached for it, using it to support her weight as she turned around to watch their backs.
John lifted his P-90 and slowly prowled towards the shelter. "Leonard?" he called quietly.
When there was no response he jerked the tarp aside. Inside, there were the wrappers from rations and a tarp on the ground that appeared to have been used as a bedroll. He turned back and moved towards Kai. "We're clear," he told her.
He reached for her waist, easily supporting her weight. It was often easy to forget how small Kai truly was. She had such a large personality, a force of nature. But with a arm around her waist, Sheppard could have easily picked her up. He helped her into the shelter, settling her down on the bedroll.
Kai scooted herself back, giving John as much room as possible. He turned and squatted near the entrance, keeping his eyes on the forest. Kai watched him warily, trying to see any evidence that he he was being affected. His side of the Bond wasn't as clear as it normally was. It almost felt like there was static, muddling his feelings.
John glanced back at her and saw that hard, emotionless gaze Kai used when she was reverting back to her training. It had been a long time since she had used that look on him. He swallowed, hating he had made her feel insecure.
"Leonard must have built this before he lost it," he said, making conversation as much to reassure her as to reassure himself that he was in control. He moved back to her to check on her leg. "Dressings a little sloppy. Still bleeding pretty badly. I'm going to change it and go back and then ah, get Beckett," he said, pulling out another bandage.
"John," Kai said after a moment. Watching his jerky movements and the tension in his body carefully. "What just happened out there? The look on your face? I could feel your confusion?"
John forced himself to focus on her wound. "Nothing," he assured her, trying for a reassuring smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.
That worried Kai more than anything. Like her, John always had absolute control of his emotions. The fact that he couldn't hide his worry made her even more uneasy.
"Somebody just popped into mind and caught me off guard," he said as he changed the dressing.
"Do you think it has anything to do with the wraith generator?" Kai asked carefully. That was exactly what she thought may have happened. She had never experienced a psychic attack from a wraith, her Mortii blood and minimal psychic training protected her from that, but from what she had heard, they could implant images in the minds of their prey.
"Hell if I know," John said, but he was worried that was exactly what was happening. He couldn't imagine what could have made a man like Leonard turn on his men. If he was honest, he was terrified of losing control around Kai. He should have left her with McKay, headache be damned. He was much more of a danger to her than a migraine.
"Don't worry. I'm fine," he promised her. "No violent urges yet...What about you?" he asked. He reached out, tucking a single strand of hair that had fallen loose from her scarf behind her ear. "Getting any ideas about killing me? Beyond the usual of course," he added with a wry grin.
Kai couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips. She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but she couldn't help but be charmed by him. Even in the face of all this, he was trying to protect her and take care of her.
Kai shook her head, only John could make her smile in this situation. "No."
"Well that's good to hear," he said sardonically. "My only shot at survival would be that you're injured," the joke tasted like ash in his mouth as he spoke the greatest fear he had. If he lost control, Kai was injured and wouldn't be able to protect herself from him.
He tightened his jaw and continued. "With that leg of your's I might be able to run away from you if you turn on me...how's the head?" he asked after a moment. He could feel pain coming through the Bond, but it was impossible to tell what was from the building migraine and what came from the gun shot wound.
"A secondary nuisance now," Kai assured him. She didn't want him to worry. The pain of the gunshot wound had pushed the pressure building in her head to minor back ground noise. Especially with how far they were from the cave.
"If this is a wraith experiment gone haywire maybe your psychic ability to block other psychic abilities will make you immune to it."
Kai frowned. She hadn't considered the possibility that the headache she had felt could be psychic pressure against her normal immunity. Now that she considered it, beyond the pain, it did feel like it often did when she was being attacked psychically, just a thousand times more intense, which could account for the pain.
Gunfire outside caused both her and John to jerk. Kai reached for her gun, but John was already creeping towards the entrance of their shelter. He stayed in a low crouch, moving out behind the cover of a tree. Kai followed, pushing herself onto her stomach, she lay with her body half concealed by the tarp, her gun in hand. Despite the pain, she wasn't about to let John go out on his own if the wraith device was effecting him. If he wasn't a direct danger to her, he could be one to himself.
Outside they were both able to see Major Leonard, moving through the underbrush, shooting at random trees. When his P-90 was empty he threw it aside and pulled his side arm. He fired at a tree until it clicked empty. Then he looked down at it in disgust. He seemed unable to remember how or that he could reload. He threw it to the ground at his feet.
John saw his moment and stepped forward. "Major," he called, stepping out from behind the tree. He held his hands out, so the Major could see he meant him no harm. "It's all right. It's Sheppard."
Leonard's gaze jerked up and his eyes widened. He took a few steps back, his body tense with the desire to strike. Kai watched him carefully. Despite the fact that he no longer held a gun didn't mean the Major wasn't still a danger to John. She would shoot him before she would let him attack John.
"Listen, there is a Wraith pulse thing, that is messing with your mind. We're going to turn it off, and you're going to be okay," John said even though he didn't believe it. Even if they managed to turn it off, Leonard would never be okay. If he came out of this, he would have to live every day with the fact that he had killed his team. John couldn't imagine a worse fate. His eyes flickered to Kai. Well, maybe only one.
The Major stumbled back another step until his back hit a tree. He jerked his head from side to side as though he were seeing more than just Sheppard standing in front of him. He reached down for his radio. "I've got four super soldiers on me. Where's that back up?"
"It's all right Major," Sheppard assured him. "I'm here all alone."
The Major jerked like he was reaching for his radio again, the only reason Kai didn't stop him, was because the pocket he pulled the grenade from was right next to his radio. Once he pulled the pin, she didn't dare fire for fear she would make him drop it. The Major met Sheppard's gaze and released the handle, bringing the grenade to his chest as he closed his eyes.
John whirled and threw himself to the ground, covering his head as the world exploded around him. He grunted as he rolled back over. Dirt and tree branches fell from him.
Sheppard brushed himself off and turned back to Kai. She was injured and depending on him to protect her. He had gotten her into this impossible situation and it was up to him to get them out.
John squatted beside her looking shell shocked. It wasn't like him to have such a large reaction while they were still in the field. Kai reached down and covered his hand with her own. "I'm sorry," Kai said, squeezing his hand.
"I gotta get his tags," John said woodenly, glancing back towards the gruesome remains of the Major.
Kai frowned up at him. She couldn't place what was different, but there was something different. With the Bond feeling so muddled on his end she couldn't say for sure how she knew, but this wasn't her John. She suddenly didn't want to be laying on her belly with him so close. She moved to get up and John suddenly jerked, his chin snapping to their left and he raised his P-90.
"What's wrong?" Kai asked frowning out into the forest. She couldn't hear, or see anything out of place. Unfortunately, with the Major's remains so close her nose was useless to them.
"Did you hear that?" John asked in a tight, hushed voice.
"What?"
"Engines, like a jeep," John said, his tone distracted. "Do you know what a jeep sounds like?" he asked almost as an afterthought. It was the only indication he gave that he remembered Kai was there at all.
"I hear nothing for almost a mile," Kai told him.
He nodded and turned back to her. "Let's get you in some cover and finish changing that bandage," he said. He supported Kai back into the small shelter. Kai watched John closely as he worked over her leg. There was something off about his movements, but she couldn't place what exactly it was.
She pushed a pulse through the Bond and John's eyes snapped up to hers. His eyes cleared for a moment, but just as suddenly it was gone. He flinched, his head snapping back towards the entrance to their shelter once more, like he was being pulled in two different directions.
"John?" Kai said, once again not hearing anything to indicate they weren't alone.
"Shh," John snapped, holding up his finger.
"There is nothing outside," Kai assured him.
John's whole body was tense as he crept towards the door. "Are you telling me you don't hear that?" John demanded.
"What?" Kai asked bewildered. Straining her senses she could hear nothing but the normal sounds of the forest.
"People."
"I hear nothing, and I would hear them if they were there," Kai reminded him. She sent another push through the Bond and John jerked back, his gaze snapping to her eyes once more. Kai nodded, fighting to hold his focus.
But whatever he thought he heard, was too strong and he turned back to the tarp. "They're coming closer."
"John, listen to me," Kai said, reaching for him. She laid her hand against his arm and pushed hard. "There is no one outside. You are imagining it."
John frowned, rubbing at the center of his chest, but he didn't slow as he jerked away from her and climbed to his feet. Surrounded by the foreign feelings of her pain and anxiety and worry, the need to protect was a warm, physical thing in his chest. One he couldn't ignore.
"John wait!" Kai called, but he was already shoving the tarp aside with his gun in his hand.
She tried reaching for him once more but with her injury she wasn't fast enough. She desperately threw everything she had at the Bond, the psychic equivalent of kicking down a door, but John barely seemed to notice. If anything it seemed to drive him more.
John moved outside of their shelter even as she called after him, desperate to keep him from running off into the forest alone. She wouldn't let him die like Leonard had died, trapped in his own mind, and fighting invisible enemies. She had seen the weight of the ghosts John carried from all he had seen and done as The Colonel, and she was terrified of what they would do to him.
She could still hear him moving around the clearing as she forced herself to her feet. She grunted as fire burned through her. Just as she got to her feet he came back into the shelter. His eyes looked right at her, but he didn't see her. Instead, he seemed to look right through her as though she were someone else entirely. John had never looked at her like that.
"Yeah," John said as though they were in the middle of a conversation. "Command was taking too long coordinating extraction scenarios with the Afghans. I didn't think I could wait much longer," he said and he came closer to her. Looking down at her injured leg, he knelt to tend to the bandage he had just fixed.
Kai went very still under his hands. Whatever scenario John thought he was living, he seemed to think she was an ally one who was injured that he needed to protect. She was hesitant to do something to upset that, because right now, John had no idea who she was to him. She wanted to reach for him through the Bond, but every time she had only seemed to make things worse.
"From the looks of it, I was right," he said with forced brightness. He turned away from her and went back to the opening by the tarp. "So, what was wrong with your helicopter that you had to go and hide out in an old Russian one?"
Kai frowned, she knew John had served in the military for many years before coming to the Pegasus Galaxy. She knew he had faced combat and that some of what he had seen and experienced haunted him, although he had never spoken of it.
"Right," John said even though she hadn't said anything in response. "Small arms fire hit my tail rotor, one lucky shot," he said shaking his head in disgust. There was a beat as though someone else had responded. "There's the Holland I know, always so positive," he said with a wry grin that didn't reach his eyes.
Kai had witnessed some of John's painful memories long ago, when they had first thought they discovered a gate that could return them to the Milky Way. The beings there had drawn on his memories of fallen comrades that he had lost along the way. It was the same look he had now. Her heart ached for him. John hid so much behind his sense of humor and easy smile.
"Yeah, there are a few here and there," John said as though he were agreeing with someone. He looked from side to side as though guarding them. John crept further through the entrance to the shelter lifting his P-90 once more. "Six or so. We can take them."
There was a pause and he turned back around to look at her, a glint of mania in his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know," he said with a lopsided grin.
Real fear constricted in her chest. She knew that look, even if this wasn't her John. It was the look he got right before he did something suicidally reckless.
"John?" she called his name again. "John, listen to me." She worried about the effect using the Bond seemed to have, but she didn't see that she had much choice. It was the only reaction she had gotten out of him. She pushed hard, hard enough sweat began to bead at her temples and her pulse started pounding in her ears.
John didn't seem to notice a thing. "I'm going to get you out of here, Captain. Don't worry," John assured her, his protective instincts clear in his eyes as he turned back to the forest. It was like he was confusing the protective feelings he normally would have felt for her with memories of his past. "Then you buy the first round back in Kandahar."
Kai closed her eyes. Whatever hold she managed before was gone. The Bond wasn't strong enough to push through whatever the device was doing to him. She had completely lost him to his memories. The most she could hope for now, was to keep him from hurting himself or others.
John's chin jerked up to the sky and he reached for his radio. "Arclight this is Roundhouse zero-six. Do you read?" John turned back to check on her and ran at her suddenly. Kai jerked. She hadn't expected John to ever rush her, and her body wasn't used to treating John like a threat. All she could do was brace herself for a blow. But instead of attacking, John just jostled her arm. "Hey, hey, stay with me," he said urgently.
Kai stared up in John's hazel eyes, but he couldn't see her, wasn't even aware enough to tell that her eyes were open. His gaze was was locked higher than her head, as though whoever he was speaking with was taller.
"I didn't come all this way to leave you here. You gotta get out of here so you can say something really nice at my court martial. And I expect you to visit me at Leavenworth."
Kai froze. She knew John had been court martialed and had narrowly avoided being dishonorably discharged. Everyone seemed to know it. It had been the favored ammunition of Sergeant Bates back in her first year. But John had never spoken of it before, and so she had never asked. It seemed somehow too personal and private. She knew John well enough to know that although he frequently flaunted authority, he wouldn't have done something bad enough to possibly be discharged unless he truly believed in the cause. Whatever he was seeing, it was a significant moment in his memories.
Kai closed her eyes as a fresh wave of nausea went through her. Whatever she had tried to do psychically had taken a toll on her. Her adrenaline was running high and was the only thing keeping her moving. She wasn't used to feeling helpless, especially when it came to John. An enemy was so much easier to deal with. She wondered briefly if she could knock him out somehow...But she wasn't at her strongest, and if she failed and he perceived her as a threat, there was no telling what he might do.
John moved back to the opening and lifted his radio once again. "Arclight this is Roundhouse zero-six, do you read?"
"John, whatever you are seeing it isn't real," Kai told him. He looked back at her, but didn't respond to her words. He simply lifted the handset to his mouth once more, calling for Arclight.
Sweat was running down Kai's forehead. Between the pain in her leg and the pressure building in her head she fought as spots danced in front of her eyes.
"John!" Kai snapped, pushing as much psychically as she could through the Bond once more. She swayed but didn't go down. John's body stiffened but he didn't even turn around. "Major Leonard is dead, there is no more danger. Now I need you to go get Doctor Beckett. I can't walk-"
John held up his hand silencing her. Then moved out of their shelter into the clearing with his gun raised.
Kai heard the sounds of Ronon's gun being discharged and her stomach dropped as John opened fire. They would kill each other.
"Ronon don't shoot! It's us!" Kai bellowed at the top of her lungs.
John moved back to her. "I clipped him in the arm. Not enough to kill him, but enough to scare him off. He's probably calling his buddies," he said rushing back to her.
Kai flinched away from him, uncertain of his intentions. His eyes were fever bright with adrenaline and the desire to fight.
"We gotta get out of here," he grabbed her, wrapping an arm around her waist and jerking her to her feet. Kai groaned in pain and John hesitated for just a second.
"John?" Kai pushed, wondering if he felt her pain still through the Bond, but he just shook his head as though trying to clear it.
"Don't worry," he told her. "I'm going to protect you and take care of his friends," he promised, his eyes hard and determined.
Kai fought to keep up with John's frenzied pace, but her leg buckled. Rather than stop, John stooped down and scooped her up in his arms. Whatever John was seeing, he still ran them back towards the cave and Doctor Beckett. Ronon fired shots after them, but John managed to evade. Knowing she had no choice, Kai wrapped her arms around John's neck, making it as easy for him to carry her as possible. She might be able to reason with John, but there would be no stopping Ronon.
"Kai!" she heard Ronon bellow behind them.
Kai froze, wondering what the Satedan could be seeing that involved her. Her mind went back to their nightmarish fight on his home planet not long ago. She hoped he was seeing something else.
"Ronon it's us!" she shouted back, but the other man didn't seem to hear her.
As they neared the cave, Kai looked up. Rodney was standing outside of it with the same confused look the others had experienced. "McKay!" she called.
Rodney turned to face them, his eyes wide with fear as John lifted his gun to point at his chest.
"John no!" Kai shouted. Just as he pulled the trigger she shoved into him, knocking the two of them to the ground. Thankfully, she had managed to change the bullet's trajectory and it hit McKay in the shoulder instead of the chest.
John dragged Kai up beside the downed McKay and reached for his radio. "Arclight this is Roundhouse zero-six come in," he said into the radio, he repeated it three more times, his movements becoming more jerky with panic.
Kai closed her eyes as an overwhelming feeling a despair and panic pushed through the haze that had blocked her from his feelings. The depth he felt those emotions was staggering. She had to do something. Ronon was coming and he and John would battle to the death while each was trapped in their respective nightmare.
Kai looked down at McKay who was holding a hand over his gunshot wound. "I already told you how to fix it. Cut the power," he groaned through the pain.
Kai nodded, trying to decide how violently John would respond if she tried to escape. He was still focused on his radio and becoming more and more frustrated with each passing minute.
"The interferance is coming from in there," she told him, nodding towards the cave.
John's confused eyes met hers after he scanned the area, looking straight at the cave. "Nothing there but sand."
"There's an entrance to a cave," she told him through gritted teeth. Now that they were back near the cave the pressure had begun building once more in her temples.
"There's nothing there!" John shouted, his voice rising aggressively.
Kai's eyes turned to quickly scan the woods. Ronon wouldn't be far behind them and she was terrified of what they would do to one another. She reached forward and grabbed the front of John's flak vest, jerking him down so they were nose to nose. "John, you have to trust me," she growled, her voice shaking as she fought to contain the pain.
Something flickered in John's eyes and Kai gave him another rough shake to keep him focused. "Now, they enemy is jamming our radio signal. You have to disconnect the power. I can show you, but you have to take me in there."
Ronon's gun discharged from deep in the woods, hitting the rocks to the left of John's head. It wasn't set to stun.
"Take me in there now!" Kai shouted desperately. She couldn't watch Ronon kill John.
John's jaw tightened for a second as though he were considering staying and fighting, but he scooped her up and carried her into the cave. He followed her directions, seeming to have decided to trust her. He set her down near the controls. The pain in Kai's temples increased, overriding the pain in her leg until it felt like her ear drums might explode. She gritted her teeth as black spots appeared before her eyes. She was panting as she picked up McKay's tablet.
"Rodney, you were almost done, why did you stop?" she muttered.
She turned to John. "Reach in there, the largest cord. Follow it with your hand until you reach the end," she instructed.
John looked around them in confusion. The cave and Wraith technology didn't match his hallucinations and it was throwing him. Kai grabbed him again. "Do it John!" she snapped. "Then you can radio for help and get us out of here," she shoved him back towards the cords.
John barely moved from the lack of strength Kai was able to put behind her push. She glanced over John's shoulder, wondering how long it would take Ronon to rush them. She still had her gun, but Ronon wouldn't go down without a fight and she didn't want to hurt her friend.
"KAI!" McKay wailed from outside. "Ronon's coming!"
"There, that's it," Kai said nodding. "Pull it!" She heard the scuffle of movement behind them and knew Ronon had found them.
John groaned as he jerked the cord out. A shockwave went through the room and Kai staggered as the pressure in her head disappeared so fast it gave her a moment of vertigo.
John turned in time to see Ronon lift his gun. John immediately sidestepped so he was between Kai and Ronon. "Ronon?" John called to him with a confused frown.
"Sheppard?" Ronon asked, his tone uncharacteristically unsure. He looked around as though he wasn't sure how he had gotten there.
"Hey buddy, you wanna lower your gun?" Sheppard asked, glancing over his shoulder, to make sure Kai was behind him.
"What the hell?" Ronon asked.
"Yeah, I know," John agreed. "Let's get the hell out of here."
He turned back to Kai who let out a relieved breath. She was holding herself tight and watching him warily. "Can I...?" he asked, motioning towards her. The way he was looking at him made something tighten in his chest. It wasn't fear, Kai wasn't afraid of anything. It was like he was the enemy.
Kai nodded and immediately felt John's relief clear and sure through the Bond.
John scooped her up in his arms and carried her, cradled against his chest towards the entrance to the cave. Ronon trailed along behind, still looking shell shocked. John set Kai down just outside of the cave. He glanced from the injured Kai,
to the injured Rodney and finally to Ronon who had blood trailing down his arm.
"I need to go find Beckett," John said.
Ronon nodded and met Sheppard's gaze as he sat down beside Kai. What had happened had shaken Ronon to his core and it was clear by his body language he was feeling just as protective as John.
Ronon waited until Sheppard was out of sight before he turned to Kai.
"I'm sorry if I scared you," he said. He and Kai rarely felt the need to talk about their feelings, but he couldn't get the terrified look on her face when he had charged into the cave out of his head.
"I wasn't scared of you, I was scared of what you would do to John," Kai admitted looking down at her hands.
Ronon grunted and looked in the direction the Colonel had disappeared. "What about with him?" Ronon asked jerking his chin after Sheppard. "I'm not saying it wasn't him...but if he was anything like me, he wasn't there."
Kai nodded, her eyes locked on John's retreating form. "You were the one he was shooting at. He was at least protective of me."
Ronon shifted so he caught her gaze. "Looks like he's not the only one."
Kai swatted his uninjured arm.
><><
John came back with Beckett and the injured Kagan a short time later. While they waited for Atlantis to radio them, Beckett made the rounds, dressing wounds and fussing over everyone. By the time Weir radioed things had calmed considerably.
"I know you can't dial back in, but I could at least send more personnel through to help with the wounded," Elizabeth offered.
"Beckett says he can handle it. Everyone is already pretty well patched up," Sheppard assured her. "Daedalus should be here by night, and I think we can make it with these supplies you sent."
"How are Rodney and Kai?" Elizabeth asked.
"He shot me!" Rodney exclaimed from the background where Beckett was working over his shoulder.
John shot McKay a withering look. "They're both fine, and Kagan is out of the woods too."
"You shot me!"
Like Sheppard, Weir seemed content to ignore Rodney's exclamations. "And none of you are experiencing any aftereffects from the Wraith device?" She asked.
"Well, I mean we're all pretty creeped out," John allowed, there was no way he would be able to adequately explain to Elizabeth what it had felt like to be so out of control.
"It was the most unsettling thing I have ever experienced," Beckett said.
"-but, we're gonna be fine," John quickly assured Elizabeth. While he knew she was well intentioned, he didn't think a whole team of marines standing over the group would make them feel better.
"All right, well check-in in a few hours. Weir out."
John put his radio away and turned back to their group.
"You shot me!" McKay accused a third time.
John sighed in aggitation. "Yes Rodney, I shot you. And I said I was sorry."
"You shot me to," Ronon added, although he didn't look upset about it.
"I'm sorry for shooting everyone!" John snapped sarcastically. "Just...the Daedalus will be here in a little while. Just get some rest." John said exasperatedly. He dropped down to sit beside Kai with an exhausted sigh.
Kai could feel his weariness behind the mask of exasperation he had shown the others. She cleared her throat and he glanced at her. "So...did you manage to get Captain Holland to safety?" she asked carefully, keeping her eyes locked on her hands. They so rarely spoke of their pasts. She hated to push, but it was obvious this was one of the many ghosts that haunted John.
John looked down, mashing his lips together as he fought to contain so many emotions he would never show. "No," he said, his voice so low only Kai would have heard the answer.
"Well," she said after a moment. "You got me to safety."
"Yes," John agreed, looking down at his hands.
"I can't believe you shot me!" Mckay exclaimed again.
Ronon started laughing and even Kai couldn't contain the urge to smile.
"Get some sleep Rodney," Sheppard groaned.
Kai leaned towards him and bumped her shoulder into his. "You didn't shoot me," she pointed out.
"Small favors," he said with a shake of his head.
The teasing smile on Kai's face stilled as she tried to sort out all of the feelings coming through the Bond. There was many it was overwhelming. "I at no point thought you were a danger to me John," Kai told him honestly.
John lifted his gaze to meet hers and his eyes were tormented. "I never want you to be afraid of me."
"I wasn't," she assured him, resting her hand on his forearm.
John felt a warm pulse through the Bond and knew she was telling the truth. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
"You get some sleep," he told her. "I'll take first watch."
><><
Thank you everyone for reading I hope you enjoyed the update!