I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

By -yxungest

576K 23.8K 3.7K

*MY FIRST BOYXBOY!* Zayden: a teen boy who doesn't know the definition of friends and family and wonders why... More

note + cast + playlist
Preview Of I'm Not Okay
{1} Normal and Simple
{2} My Therapist
{3} Glowing Stars
{4} "Are You New?"
{5} Session 1
{6} Two Different People With The Same Story
{7} Session 2
{8} Dead Flower
{9} Time
{10} Lunch Table
{11} Session 3
{12} The Woman
{13} Fuck It.
{14} Brothers
{15} Am I Adorable?
{16} Session 4
{17} What The Hell Is Going On?
{18} Don't Look Back
{19} Session 5
{20} What Am I Going To Do With You, Eden?
{21} Trying To Tell Mom The Truth
{22} Dinner Time Goes Wrong
{23} Hanging Out With Rhett: Part I
{24} Hanging Out With Rhett: Part II
{25} Hanging Out With Rhett: Part III
{26} Car Panic
{27} My Head Hurts Because Of Him But Makes Me Calm Too
{28} About Alexandrina
{29} Session 6
{30} The Meaning Of Sorry
{31} You're The Best Brother
{32} Money Is For Buying Things, Not For Bets
{33} Broken
{34} I Can't Be Gay {Picutre of Crevan}
{35} Nurses Are A Pain In The Ass
{36} Couldn't Stay With You
{37} Session 7
{38} Beaten Eden
{39} Nightmare
{40} "Hi Zayden."
{41} Nightmare = Reality
{42} Session 8
{43} Forget
{44} Fucking Up My Mind
{45} A Scar
{46} Surprise MY ASS! Part I
{47} Surprise MY ASS! Part: II
{48} Draw Me Your Rage
{49} Trick or Treat, Smell My Blood
{50} Smile
{51} Sleep With A Brother
{52} Project A+
{53} Starch Out Laser Tag
{54} Nice Cheeks
{55} Session 9
{56} A Shoulder To Cry On
{57} Love Triangle
{58} "Normal One"
{59} The Park
{60} Cookies
{62} Special
{63} Session 10
{64} Questions
{65} Flashback
{66} I'm Not Okay
{67} Kisses And Holding Hands
{68} Everything's Okay...I Think
(69} Fight! Fight! Fight!
{70} One Side
{71} A Trip
{72} Flowers
{73} Kind of Like at First Sight
{74} The Dad Talks to Son Talk
{75} New and Old
{76} You're My Star
{77} Nice to See Everyone Here
{78} One Step to Okay
{79} Aunt Cassandra
{80} Hot Chocolate and Cookies
{81} A Fight Worth Fighting For
{82 & FIN} A Whole Family
Author's Note
Bonus Chapter: Movie Day

{61} The F Word

4.4K 213 89
By -yxungest

A/N: Before I start dropping the f word around here, I wanted to say that I do not like this word. This word makes me pissed, but only to gay people. It's rude and nobody should use it. But sadly, people use it and I HATE it. I will defend anyone who is being called the f word. Actually, I will defend anyone who are being insulted by their personality and gender. Like I said, it's rude and you wouldn't like someone to call you that. Anyways, get to reading! Bless your face! ^_^

~~~

"Zayden, what the hell is going on?" My dad asked with wide eyes, and Rachael was standing next to him. Great! Hoping that was a dream, I shut my eyes closed and count back from ten. When I open my eyes, I was going to wake up in my cozy bed.

I opened my eyes slowly to see Rhett staring straight in my eyes. Oh fuck. We were scared shitless. I pushed Rhett away from me and I was breathing deeply.

"Dad, it's not what it looks like," I said and glanced at Eden. His mouth was still opened and I knew he was shocked as hell. Join the club, bro.

"Not what it looks like? Zayden you kissed a boy!" My dad exclaimed.

"Sir, it wasn't Zayden's fault," Rhett piped in.

"Nick, I can't believe your son is a faggot. How disgusting that is!" Rachael said and my heart stopped. How could she say that? How the fuck could she even says that to our faces?

"Excuse me?" I said, almost in a deadly whisper.

Rachael raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms with a scoffed. "I said I can't believe-"

"I know what you said, asshole. Calling someone a faggot is fucked up. Even if they are gay. Gay is a proper way saying a guy and a guy or a girl and a girl like each other."

Rachael eyes widened and they were filled with fury. "You better watch your mouth, young man."

"Or what? You aren't my mother."

"Can everyone shut up?" Eden screamed and jumped out of his chair, making it fall. I glared at Rachael and she glared back.

"Babe, lets go to the living room," my dad said and grabbed her arm, dragging her into the living room. How could my dad choose her over me? I was his son for Christ's sake! I clenched my hands and punched the wall leaving a hole in it. I kept punching it until someone grabbed my arm and turned me around. I stared into sad warm brown eyes.

"Stop. You're hurting yourself," he whispered and unclenched my fist. It was pounding, a sting forming. I cut my knuckles. Rhett dragged me to the sink and turned the hot water. I hissed and I was going to pull my hand away when he gripped onto it.

"Where are the band-aids?" He asked as he dried my right hand.

"In the bathroom but I'm okay," I whispered and wrapped a paper towel to my hand.

"No, Zayden, you're not. You're bleeding and I can help." I sighed and leaned my hip onto the kitchen counter, "You've done enough. I can handle this on my own."

I felt a finger lift my chin up and I stared into brown eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. I didn't mean that to happen."

I chuckled and looked at my hand. "It's alright. Maybe my dad can see the real Rachael." Rhett gave me a small smile before giving me a soft kiss on forehead.

"See! I told you! Their both faggots! They can't keep their hands off of each other." I groaned.

"Rachael, keep your voice down! I don't want Zayden and his boyfriend to hear." Boyfriend? Rhett smirked when I blushed. We were not boyfriends. We were friends...I think.

"I don't care! Who's next? Eden? I don't want another fairy in the house!" My blush drained and I looked at Eden as he was standing behind the wall to hear my dad's and Rachael's conversation. Eden looked at me with painful eyes. He shook his head and ran upstairs as I saw the tears streaming down on his cheeks. I heard the door slammed closed, and my heart ached.   My dad and Rachael came back in the kitchen and they were pissed. My dad cleared his throat and gave us a fake smile. "So, Zayden, introduce us your boyfriend," he demanded.

Rachael's mouth dropped opened. "What?! Why do you want to know the fairies boyfriend?"

"That's it! I'm tired of your bitching!" I screamed. My dad, Rachael, and Rhett were shocked. "You made Eden cry! Why the fuck would you do that do him? He's having a hard time dealing with something and you bring him in this situation? Fuck you. Sure, I'm gay. And I'm proud that I'm gay. Nothing's wrong with being gay.  If you don't like a "faggot" or a "fairy" here, then get the fuck out. The only person who wants you here is my dad." I inhaled deeply, and then looked at my dad and glared at him. "Dad, if you want to join her then that's fine with me. You shouldn't care what I or Eden do since you gave up on us. If you're homophobic like Rachael then go with her."

They were silent and my dad looked like he was debating. He stared at me and then at Rhett and shook his head. "Come on, Rachael. You're right," he said and grabbed her hand.

She looked surprised and let him drag her out of the house. I swallowed the big lump in my throat and stared at my converse. Oh Eden...I covered my face with my hands and cried. I felt two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into a hug. At that exact moment, I knew why Crevan didn't want to be gay. His parents were going to disown him, like mine did. His parents wouldn't treat him right anymore. They would call him names until he changes. He didn't want to be called a faggot or a fairy. 

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