Chapter 32: Superman Wanted
Palakad lakad si Leilani sa beach front dala ang isang twalya upang hanapin si Jay. Sa isang spot ng beach niya nahanap yung binata nakaupo kaharap yung papalubog na araw. Bago makalapit pinagmasdan ng dalaga yung maliliit na peklat ng binata sa likod niya at yung isa pa sa kanyang tagiliran.
Dahan dahan lumapit si Leilani, napalingon si Jay at napatingala kaya nginitian siya ng dalaga. Naupo si Leilani sa tabi ni Jay, pareho silang humarap sa palubog na araw sabay tinignan ang mga paa nilang naabot ng tubig ng dagat.
“Is he okay?” tanong ni Jay. “I don’t know, I didn’t bother to go check on him” sagot ng dalaga. “I am so sorry” bulong ni Jay. “Don’t be, kasalanan ko naman yon” sabi ng dalaga. “Hindi mo kasalanan yon, bastos lang talaga siya. I am really sorry you had to see that” sabi ni Jay.
“It was my fault, hindi sa nag iinarte ako pero I didn’t want to take my shirt off because of this” sabi ni Leilani kaya napatingin si Jay. Tinaas ng dalaga shirt niya sa bandang kaliwang tagiliran, nagulat ang binata nang makita ang bakas ng saksak.
Hinaplos ni Jay yung peklat kaya napapikit ang dalaga at naluluha na. “What happened to you?” tanong ni Jay. Tumulo na ang luha ng dalaga kaya agad siya inakbayan ng binata sabay pinunasan mga luha nito gamit thumb niya. “Hey, Lei, its okay, you don’t need to tell me” sabi ni Jay.
“I could have taken my shirt off, kaya lang ayaw ko na makita nila ito ulit. When they see this they remember, when I see their faces remembering I too remember…something from my past that I want to forget” bulong ni Leilani.
“Sshhhhh its okay, hayaan mo na” sabi ni Jay. “No kailangan mo malaman ito” sabi ni Leilani. “Leilani, kung sakit lang idudulot ng pagkwento mo wag nalang, I don’t want to see you crying, di ko naman kaya gulpihin yung bad memories mo to drive them away. All I can do is make happy memories with you and hope those bad memories get forgotten or buried deep” lambing ng binata kaya napangiti ang dalaga.
“Jay, nung sinabi mo you went to get my schedule when I was sick…inaantay ko nalang na magtanong ka. Pero it never came, then when you told me you saw me three years ago I knew that you already were going to ask. I stopped school for a reason…” bulong ni Leilani.
“Kaya pala ang tagal na kitang hindi nakita” bulong ni Jay. “First year college Jay, niligawan ako ni Dennis. He was this super gwapo guy…but a lot knew he was a playboy. I really didn’t like him but he became so good to me. He was a gentleman and…he was really nice”
“My daddy is strict, even my mom, I never accepted suitors honestly. So I told him he should stop, I can only be friends with him. He stuck around, he was so sweet, he told me he will stop courting me and remain as my friend..he was really nice…”
“I trusted him, we would go places just like what we are doing but with him I kept my guard up…always kept my guard up because unlike you I sensed that there was something wrong in the way he looked at me and there were several times he tried getting a feel…of course he says it was all accidental”
“End of sem, he suddenly showed up sa house. Wala mama at papa ko non, his offer was to go on a short trip to Batangas. Kilala mo na ako, I love traveling so I said yes right away without thinking. He already had snacks in the car so everything seemed so perfect. On the road I suddenly felt dizzy. Nakatulog ako…pag gising ko nasa loob na ako ng isang kwarto. I felt so weak, as in I could not move and talk. My vision was blurry, I saw him totally naked coming towards me” kwento ni Leilani sabay tumigil siya at naiyak na.
“Lei tama na” sabi ni Jay. Inuga ng dalaga ulo niya sabay huminga ng malalim. “He was kissing my face, my neck, his hands…his hands on my boobs…hindi ako makasigaw…hindi ako makalaban. Shit hindi ako makalaban, hindi ako malaban Jay” bulong ni Leilani kaya inakbayan na siya ni Jay. “Enough Leilani” lambing niya. “Hinubaran niya ako, gustong gusto ko na sumigaw, hindi ko kaya. He was touching me all over, I felt so helpless..at that moment…I needed someone to come save me”
“I never believed in superheroes pero that moment I badly needed one. I prayed and prayed kasi yun lang kaya ko gawin at that time. He kept stopping because he kept talking to someone on the phone. There was one long pause, nakagalaw ako konti pero hinang hinang parin ako”
“He came back, he took photos of me…he started touching me again, kissing me…hindi ako makasigaw, hindi ako makalaban pero nakayanan ko na siya sabunutan. When he was about to…” bulong ni Leilani naiyak na talaga siya kaya niyakap siya ni Jay.
“May bumusina, mura siya ng mura. I felt so thankful kasi di natuloy. He went out of the room, may narinig ako kausap siya. Nagtawanan sila then narinig ko na mauuna daw siya tapos susunod yung kausap niya. Naabot ko na bag ko. Nakaupo ako, nalabas ko ballpen ko”
“I told myself maybe after they rape me they will kill me…so unahan ko na sila. Desperate na ako, wala ako ibang maisip. I stabbed myself using my pen…I had to kasi di ko kaya, di ko kaya tiisin yung gagawin nila sa akin” sabi ng dalaga sabay hagulgol.
“I stabbed myself repeatedly, he even came inside the room and saw me. He stood there frozen, I didn’t stop until I passed out. Next thing I knew I was at the hospital, nandon na mama at papa ko. I was too weak so I passed out again”
“Days after I got better pero iyak parin ako ng iyak. Si Yaya sumasabay, sa kanya ko nalaman na nahanap daw ako sa tabi ng kalye malapit sa ospital. Sabi sa police report case lang daw ng pagnanakaw tapos nanlaban daw siguro ako kaya sinaksak ako pero lucky daw ako kasi they missed my vital organs. Swerte daw kasi sa right side ako sinaksak kasi wala naman halos vital organs doon…I didn’t know that Jay…I wanted to end my life that moment but I guess I was lucky”
“I told my dad the truth. They had me rechecked kasi they found me clothed. They found the kiss marks…I felt relieved that I was not raped but my dad was so mad. We filed a case against Dennis pero it never prospered kasi lack of evidence and he had an alibi. Nasa Hong Kong siya daw…they are rich…they..ang mali ko walang nakakita sa kanya nung sinundo niya ako, hindi din ako nagpaalam kay Keng” sabi ni Leilani.
“Shhh tama na Lei” sabi ni Jay. “Kahit di natuloy, di ko maalis sa isipan ko yung nangyari. I lost my mind, someone who I trusted and was starting to like a bit did that to me so they had to get me checked in a center that can help women who had undergone the same experience”
“Lalo ako nadepress sa loob. One day I met the son of the owner, si Harry. Akala ko talaga mandidiri na ang mga tao sa akin if they knew what happened to me. Si Harry talked to me everyday, so I got out of that silent spell”
“He convinced his dad that I get discharged, mas maganda daw pag sa bahay nalang ako. He came to visit me everyday and helped me recover. Habang nasa bahay ako I watched all the collections of my dad…”
“Superman became my favorite because I needed someone like him. I needed someone like him when I was drugged…I need someone like him para hindi na maulit yung nangyari. I fell in love with Superman, as long as I believed in him, as long as I believed that someone like him exists then maybe never na mauulit yung nangyari sa akin…maybe next time I can simply scream out his name and he shall come to my rescue or maybe I don’t even have to scream at all for I know he will be there for me”
“I told myself kaya siguro hindi siya dumating kasi hindi ako naniniwala sa katulad niya. Alam ko nakakatawa pero it was my way of coping up to what happened to me”
“After a long time I was still scared to go back to school. Kasi dati pag may nakita akong lalake nagtatago na ako. Harry convinced me, he taught me how to forgive so it could be easier to forget what happened”
“We dropped the case, kasi habang alam ko may kaso di ko daw makakalimutan. We all agreed since di naman natuloy. Harry helped me, para daw magstay away mga boys he and I would make it look as if we were together. That is why you saw me in a relationship with him sa Facebook”
“There was a time I asked you if there was something you wanted to ask me. If only you asked me then I would have told you the truth. Agreement namin is that if I like a boy I have to tell him first so he could check”
“I said yes because I could never see myself with a guy again. I didn’t know if I could really trust one again. I went back to school, balot na balot ako, pagtapos ng klase diretso uwi. There came a point where I felt I was a slave already, parang nabubuhay na ako ng hindi ako”
“The bad memory was running my life, making me someone who I was not. Harry got mad when I started wearing dresses again. How could I not? Gusto ko mabuhay ng normal ulit e. I started roaming around the campus, kinakaya ko talaga to be normal like before. Mich and Florence helped a lot, as in they helped a lot”
“On that day I first wore a dress that I bought, when I thought everything was fine already the canteen incident happened…then you arrived” bulong ni Leilani sabay napangiti. “Instead of curling back into my scared state you stopped it from happening…my superhero…sort of” sabi ng dalaga.
“I am not a superhero” bulong ni Jay. “That same day around dismissal sa main gate. That same guy suddenly showed up. His face was bloody and his hand was broken. He knelt down and begged for my forgiveness. Ang daming tao noon, hindi ako makagalaw sa takot pero sorry siya ng sorry sa akin”
“He admitted what he was doing, I told him to stop and go away. He said that I had to forgive him first. He looked so scared, naawa na ako kaya pinatawad ko siya. Bago siya umalis I asked him what happened. Sabi niya lang karma daw”
“That night hindi ako makatulog, sabihin mo na sadista ako pero I felt so happy remembering his bloody face. I knew he did something wrong towards me but I felt so happy, someone did that to him for me. Superheroes do really exist and you know what una kong naisip, ikaw”
“Pero hindi ako makaniwala na ikaw. Funny, I imagined you to be taking off your glasses then turning to be Superman then you beat him up. Sorry, I really like Superman and so that night I kept imagining it was you pero di ko talaga matapos yung imagination kasi parang hindi e”
“Three years ago I saw you got bullied. Me and my friend were at our classroom. My friend then told me one time that she saw the bullies got beaten up and saw you too. Sabi niya ikaw daw gumulpi sa kanila kasi ikaw lang naman daw yung nakita niyang nanggaling sa place na yon”
“I didn’t believe her. Imposible sabi ko so that night after I saw the bloodied face of that manyakis I really believed her. Nakiliti utak ko pero sabi ko how can that cute and innocent looking guy manage that?”
“I just focused on what you did for me at the canteen. Oh yes Jay I saw you tripped on purpose to stop him. Naulit ulit yung scenario na yon sa isipan ko, the more I kept thinking of it the more I could see you as Clark Kent, the clumsy Clark but once he takes off his glasses…you know what happens. Call me silly but I knew I had to be friends with you…and honestly I found you really cute eversince” bulong ng dalaga kaya napangiti si Jay at nakiliti.
“I really never needed a pen, remember that day?” pacute ng dalaga kaya napakamot si Jay. “Yeah that day, I just wanted to go to your tambayan to see you. Buti nalang kilala ko si Paulette na kaibigan mo. Never needed a pen really, it was just silly me wanting to see you, wanting to see my Superman…sort of”
“What happened was even greater, you lent me a pen. Then sa store, that was unplanned. Sorry pero naglaro isipan ko, I told myself he shows up already…kakatawa pero tinuring kong big deal yung five pesos. Superman came to my rescue and treated me to bond paper” bulong ni Leilani kaya nagtawanan sila konti. “After that we became friends” sabi ng dalaga.
“You were super nice to me. Super bait pero nung umuulan tapos inalok mo ako na ihatid natakot ako talaga. Sorry pero…but once I got home I felt happy kasi hinatid mo lang talaga ako. Sorry talaga if masama naisip ko, my bad memories took over. We went out of town for my photo shoot, I was so scared baka mamaya mahilo nanaman ako pero that day turned out to be so perfect”
“Pero Jay, it didn’t mean I trusted you already. May takot parin ako. I knew that you already saw my status the moment I accepted you as a friend sa Facebook. Sabi ko okay narin na hindi siya nagtanong. You are such a good guy Jay. Honestly I was falling…falling…but everytime I fell hard the bad memories would move me aside” sabi ni Leilani.
“Respeto, akala ko talaga may boyfriend ka. Pero I really liked you already and I could not get myself to simply go away. I tried my best being a good friend pero Lei, hindi ko nakayanan e. Naipon ng naipon yung nararamdaman ko para sa iyo” sabi ni Jay.
“Pero you know what, its good it happened. Siguro naman napatunayan ko sa iyo sarili ko pero sorry talaga at di ko na natiis at nahalikan kita. Made me look like a bad boy kissing someone else’s girlfriend huh. Pero so what kung may boyfriend siya sabi ko, di ko na kaya tiisin tong mga nararamdaman ko”
“We embraced, we held hands, so before I went nuts I had to let it out. Ngayon na alam ko hindi mo pala siya boyfriend, mas tumamis yung alaala ng halikan natin. I felt guilty but didn’t regret it, now…” sabi ni Jay kaya napangiti ang dalaga at sumandal sa kanya.
Hinaplos ni Jay yung peklat ng dalaga, “Isip bata siguro sinasabi ng iba sa akin o kahit ikaw. Pero Jay, if superheroes do exist then you are my superhero” bulong ng dalaga. “I am not, I am just this four eyed guy who likes you very much and will do anything to keep you safe”
“But if you see me as such then I will be that superhero for you. Lei, I don’t have super powers to protect you but whatever I have rest assured I am going to give it my all just to make sure you are safe. I am not the superhero that goes saving everyone, I am a selfish superhero who choses only to protect you”
“Selfish superhero that has you always on his mind, selfish superhero that wears no costumes and that cannot fly. Pero Leilani, whenever I am with you I feel like I am flying and walking above the clouds. When I see you smile you even take me higher to the point that I feel like I am really flying”
Hinaplos ni Jay pisngi ng dalaga sabay nakipagdikitan siya ng noo. “Lei, I cannot literally take you up the clouds and soar around flying. I just do hope that whatever you make me feel whenever I am with you…I too could make you feel. The feeling of walking in clouds, the feeling of flying just because you are with me”
“I do hope I can make you feel that way too” bulong ni Jay. “You already do Jay, everyday” sagot ng dalaga kaya nagngitian sila. Inalis ni Leilani salamin ng binata sabay hinila isang kulot pababa ng kanyang noo. Napaluhod silang pareho, si Jay humawak sa mukha ng dalaga gamit dalawang kamay.
Hinaplos ng dalaga mga wrists ng binata, nagkiskisan ang kanilang ilong muling nagdikit ang kanilang mga labi. Di na nila napanood yung paglubog ng araw, nanatiling nagkadikit ang kanilang mga labi kaya nung natapos nagngitian sila.
“Lei, this is me. Whatever you saw a while ago, its already part of me” bulong ni Jay. “I already kissed you…would you want me to kiss you again to make you understand that I don’t care?” pacute ng dalaga. “Could you make it clearer?” landi ni Jay kaya muli silang naghalikan.
Dahan dahan sila tumayo, nagyakapan at nagtuloy ang halikan. Pagtigil nila nakita nila yung araw na sumisilip silip pa. Biglang nagtanggal si Leilani ng shirt. “Blurred” biro ni Jay kaya natawa ang dalaga. Hinila ni Leilani kamay nito sabay sinugod nila yung dagat.
Biglang nadapa si Jay kaya laugh trip si Leilani, “I need my glasses” sabi ni Jay. “No you don’t, come on get up. Ako bahala sa iyo” sabi ni Leilani. Tampisaw sila sa dagat, “Balikan ko glasses ko” sabi ni Jay pero yumakap ang dalaga sa kanya. “Do you really need them?” bulong niya sabay nagkiskisan ang kanilang mukha.
Isang oras lumipas magkaholding hand sina Jay at Leilani pabalik ng cottage. Nagulat yung ibang girls pagkat napaka sexy ni Leilani na naglalakad lang suot ang kanyang bikini. “Oh super sexy sis” sigaw ni Florence.
“Shit, now we all look fat. Leilani naman e” reklamo ni Rachelle. Napatingin sila sa scar ni Leilani, umakbay si Jay at pinaabot niya kamay niya para takpan ito kaya sumandal si Leilani at napangiti. Nagets na nung iba ang ibig sabihin ni Jay kaya ngumiti nalang sila.
“Tara na dinner na” sabi ni Mich. “Go get a new shirt” sabi ni Jay kaya pumasok sa kwarto si Leilani at nagsuot ng ibang shirt pampatong sa bikini niya. Lumabas ng banyo si Jay suot ang bagong shorts at shirt, “Jay take off your shirt” sabi ni Leilani.
“We are going to eat dinner” sabi ng binata. “Yeah, take it off” sabi ng dalaga kaya tinanggal ng binata shirt niya sabay lumabas na sila ng cottage. Nagbiro si Jay habang naglalakad silang lahat. Pinapalaki niya katawan niya at ginagaya si Oliver.
“Kumusta na pala yon?” tanong ni Leilani. “Naiwan sa medics area. Don daw siya muna for the night” sabi ni Daniel. Nagflex si Jay kaya laugh trip ang lahat, “If you miss him that much then maybe I can be him minus the muscles” sabi niya sa mababang boses.
“So pare, ikaw pala yon ha” sabi ni Ronnie kaya tinignan siya ni Leilani. “Its okay, kung ano man narinig niyo tungkol don sa taong yon you all should know there is a reason” sabi ni Jay.
“Oo nga pero ikaw yon no?” tanong ni Daniel. “Yes he is that guy” sabi ni Leilani. “So pare yang mga peklat mo e mga battle scars mo?” tanong ni Ronnie. “Not really, pero let me tell you. Okay lang kasi tanggap niyo ako so let me tell you”
“Nahihiya ako pero sige, I met a guy named Christian…he did this to me” sabi ni Jay. Napatigil ang lahat, napahalakhak bigla si Rachelle at nahampas si Jay sa likod. “Bakit sis? You know that Christian?” tanong ni Leilani.
“Christian Grey, as in Fifty Shades” sabi ni Rachalle kaya laugh trip bigla ang lahat. “It was a brutal kind of love. He took advantage of me” landi ni Jay kaya lalong nagtawanan yung mga kasama niya.
“When I was about to like it already he found that girl, so yung girl nalang yung kasama niya. Nilimot na niya ako, pero itong mga peklat, mga alalaala ng samahan namin” hirit ni Jay.
Nang makaupo sila sa loob ng restaurant huminga ng malalim si Jay. “Let me tell you the story of all these scars of mine. Its time you have to know about them too” sabi ni Jay kay Leilani kaya lahat napatingin sa kanya at nakinig.
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Author's Note:
- so there you have it, that is what happened to Lei
- its a terrrible experience that no girl or woman should ever experience....well pati sa boys and men, it happens too pero walang naniniwala masyado
- Jay's secret revealed tomorrow :)