Johnny stood in front of a mirror in the bathroom of the downtown Los Angeles studio he was at for the photoshoot he had to do.
He felt like shit to put it lightly. The makeup artist had to cake on foundation to hide his ghostly complexion and the stark contrast of blue and purple that covered his undereyes.
He still hasn't told the others what had happened and he had no plans of doing so. It was funny, just forty-eight hours ago he was planning on ending his life and now he was right back to work, doing photoshoots and prepping for tour as if nothing had happened.
He felt shaky and his body ached painfully as if he was going through withdrawals, though he probably was.
Johnny was surprised when Elias gave in so quickly and let him do the photoshoot, he had a feeling he wouldn't go down without a fight though so the singer knew there would be some sort of catch.
"Oy, Johnny! Stop checking yourself out and get your ass out here!" Dylan called from the other side of the door.
Johnny sighed and took a deep breath, taking a puff of the cigarette sitting between his shaking fingers before he turned and stepped out of the bathroom, glancing at his drummer.
Dylan stared at the frontman with a questioning look. "You alright, mate?" He asked slowly.
"Yeah, I think I'm coming down with something." Johnny replied with a shrug, putting his cigarette out and tossing it into the trashcan.
Dylan merely nodded and walked over to the backdrop where the rest of the band stood.
Nikki and Leo were laughing about something and Vic was staring at Johnny with a concerned look on his face. He hadn't talked to the other man since the end of tour, he had been dodging everyone's calls and text and the guitarist had been worried, but seeing Johnny there made him feel significantly better, even though he did seem off.
Johnny stepped in front of the camera and gave the photographer a polite smile. "Alright, everything ready?" He asked.
"Yup!" The photographer- a tall man with mahogany skin and close shaved haircut, his eyes a deep brown and his smile twinkled as he nodded towards the band.
As the session went on, Johnny felt his body weaken more and more, fuck he regretted doing this.
Nikki tossed her arm over Johnny's shoulders during one of the photos and he thought his legs would collapse from the sudden weight, albeit only a minuscule amount and his body screamed in pain at the touch. Johnny bit the inside of his cheek and locked his knees to avoid falling to the ground, praying they would be finished soon.
After what felt like a lifetime, the shoot was finished. Johnny staggered off towards the dressing room to take off the uncomfortable clothes and change back into his own.
He felt like he had the flu...or the plague. He somehow felt worse than he did after his first overdose.
The frontman tugged on his hoodie, trying to hide the pained wince as he moved his arms and slid on his well worn leather jacket that he's had for God only knows how long.
Vic walked up beside of the singer and gently bumped his shoulder. "Hey, you look beat. Everything ok?" He asked softly.
Before Johnny could answer, Dylan responded. "He said he was coming down with something." That was the only time the frontman was grateful for his fat mouth.
"Oh that sucks, dude! We could've rescheduled this if you needed to." Vic said sympathetically.
"I'm fine, bud. Just exhausted, I'm gonna head home." Johnny said, giving the guitarist's shoulder a friendly squeeze before he stepped around him and walked out.
The drive home was as quick as LA traffic would allow, Elias' car was still in his driveway, making Johnny sigh in frustration.
He walked into his home and kicked off his shoes. "Honey, I'm home!" He called out sarcastically.
"Don't call me fucking honey! You fucking douchenozzle!" Elias yelled from the kitchen, making Johnny laugh genuinely for the first time in months.
The singer made his way up the stairs and dropped down onto one of the kitchen chairs with a sigh.
"You look like fucking shit, you regret not listening to me?" The older man said with a snort, pouring Johnny some coffee and walking over to the table to join him.
"Doesn't matter, needed to get it done." Johnny shrugged, his body hated him in that moment and all he wanted was to go to bed.
"Yeah yeah." Elias said with a wave of his hand before he went silent for a moment, taking a sip from his mug. "I postponed the tour."
"What?!" Johnny exclaimed, sitting up wincing when his sudden movements shot pain throughout his body. "You can't do-"
"I can and I already did, I called Maya yesterday. She's already taken care of it, the venues are just waiting for us to make a statement before they do anything." Elias cut the younger man off quickly.
"But the band-"
"Will get over it, and so will the fans! We're not canceling it, Johnny. Just pushing it back two months so you can take a break." Johnny huffed and tilted his head back towards the ceiling, trying so hard not to lose his temper.
"They'll be pissed." Johnny sighed, not indicating whether he was talking about the rest of his band or the fans.
"We'll make up some reason for the fans." Elias said.
"Like what?" The singer asked.
"Technical difficulties in the studio and you have to rerecord some shit. New music always trumps tours." The older man shrugged, they could easily delete a few files and 'lose' a few demos.
"And the band? What the fuck am I supposed to tell them?" Johnny asked softly, his head was spinning and all he wanted was to get his fix, but he knew Elias wouldn't allow that.
"Here's a new and crazy idea that you've never tried, the truth!" Elias said, exasperation dripping from his tone.
"No fucking way! I'm not telling that I- I-" Johnny cut himself off with a shaky breath and looked away from his label owner. "They can't know how bad it is." He whispered.
"Johnny, if we try to give them any reason other than the truth, they'll get pissed, you might as well tell them." Elias reached out and rested his hand on Johnny's arm.
"Can't you just tell them then? I can't- I don't know how to say it." The singer admitted, his eyes prickling with tears.
"I can, but I think it would go better if you do it instead." The older man replied softly.
Johnny took a deep breath before he nodded, might as well rip off the proverbial bandage himself, right?
"What am I supposed to do?" He asked softly.
"Why don't you go away for a while? Maybe use that fucking beach house that's been sitting empty for almost two years." Elias suggested. Some time away from LA would probably do the younger man some good.
Johnny thought about it for a moment before he nodded slowly. A beach side house with no one around for miles did sound amazing, it would probably be a good place to detox as well.
Elias watched the younger man carefully, he didn't think he needed to be alone. At all.
Who the fuck was he supposed to ask to effectively babysit a rockstar?
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"What the fuck did we do now? Why does Elias want to see us?" Dylan huffed as the group made their way into the label's building.
"The fuck if I know, you guys don't tell me shit!" Nikki laughed, bouncing in behind them.
"That's because you're the newbie, Niks!" Vic laughed, hitting the button on the elevator for them.
He had no idea what was going on, but he had a feeling it wasn't good, especially seeing as Johnny wasn't there with them.
The door slid open and they all walked out and headed down the hall towards Elias' office.
When Leo pushed the door open, he spotted Elias at his desk and Johnny already there, still smoking a cigarette. His hair was messy and hung in his face like a curtain and his skin was a sickly gray. He had looked bad during the shoot the day before, but now after all the makeup and costumes were stripped away, Johnny looked like a corpse.
'Well this definitely wasn't good news.' The guitarist thought with a sigh as he sat down next to his frontman.
"What can we do for you, Elias?" Vic asked, sitting down on the other side of Johnny, also noticing how rough he looked.
"Alright, this isn't up for debate, it's not an option." Elias started, noticing the way everyone except for Johnny groaned, terrified to here what was going on.
"Just spit it the fuck out, Elias." Leo snapped, trying to think of what the older man was about to tell them.
"We're pushing back the tour two months." He said simply.
"What the fuck? Why?" Nikki said, sitting up straight from where she had been lounging in one of the chairs in the room.
"The fuck is going on, mate?" Dylan asked angrily, he couldn't just push back a tour without even running it by any of them!
"We're going to tell the fans that some files for the new album were corrupted and we have to redo all of it." The older man explained to the band, hoping to prolong the inevitable as much as he could for Johnny.
"He didn't fucking ask what you were telling the fans, he asked what was going on!" Leo said, also becoming more and more frustrated by the runaround.
"It's my fault, I... I uh- I relapsed." Johnny finally spoke up, unable to look at any of them.
Vic sucked in a breath and turned to look at Johnny; that explained why he looked like death warmed over, he was going through withdrawals.
"Ok and? Not to be insensitive, but can't you just throw his ass in rehab for two weeks so we can go on our way?" Nikki piped up, she wasn't around when Johnny's addiction was at its worst so it made sense that she didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
"If I thought that would do it, I would've had him in and out before any of you had noticed, it's worse this time." Elias said, trying not to snap at the woman across from him.
"Worse? How did he-" Leo cut himself off and looked at Johnny. "Fuck, did you-? Did you overdose again?" He asked softly, only receiving a nod from the singer.
"It- I um-..." Johnny couldn't get the words out, he felt so ashamed.
"What is it?" Vic asked, resting a hand on his back in an attempt to comfort him.
"It wasn't an accident." Johnny whispered. He said it. He finally got it out, it hadn't been nearly as painful as the singer thought it would be.
The room went silent, shock and horror palpable in the air as they all processed what the singer had just admitted.
"Fucking hell." Dylan breathed out, dropping his head back against the chair for a moment. "Will two months be enough? We could probably swing more if need be." He and Johnny may have their rough moments, but that didn't mean he hated the guy, far from it, he just wanted all of this shit to be worked out so they can tour and make records in peace.
Johnny's head popped up and he stared at his drummer in surprise. Dylan was the last person he thought would be understanding in this situation.
Vic felt like he was going to cry, his best friend almost died and he had no idea, he was going through so much and Vic had given up on being there for him so easily.
"I think two months will be ok, Johnny's going to take a long break to work through things and as far as the world is concerned-"
"It's just a fuck up in the studio, got it." Leo said quietly, resting his hand on Johnny's arm. He had already lost one of his friends to an overdose, and this was the second time he's almost lost the singer, but this time, it hadn't been an accident.
Fuck.
Nikki stayed silent, what was she supposed to say after the cold hearted comment she had made moments before?
"Alright, that settles that. I'll have the social media team put out a statement, and if you guys want to put out your own, it would be a good idea. Cara will send you a rough draft of all the points you'll need to make in the post, but don't read the comments, fans will be livid at first." Elias said wit a sigh, sitting back in his seat to look at the group who all nodded wordlessly.
It wasn't like any of them were going to argue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lily layed in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She wasn't going to the studio, and she had no photoshoots or interviews, so now she had nothing to do for the day.
She wanted to check on Johnny, but she better than that, she knew he didn't want to see her.
Lily hadn't been sleeping much, every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was Johnny laying in that bed with a needle sticking out of his arm.
Her phone suddenly dinged next to her. Lily huffed in annoyance and rolled over, grabbing her phone from the nightstand and turned it on, clicking on the text notification.
Elias Collins: 'I'm gonna have to ask you a massive favor.'
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What do you think Elias has planned?👀👀