Johnny sat on the couch, staring at his phone as he considered calling his mom. He had been sitting there for a good hour, scrolling through social media, checking his emails, watching YouTube, anything to distract himself from the inevitable.
"What's up?" Lily asked, bending down to wrap her arms around Johnny's neck from behind, glancing down at the screen to see his mom's contact photo. "You gonna call her, or just stare at her picture? Not that I'd blame you, your mom is hot as fuck- actually no, she's your mom, don't stare at her pi-"
"Don't call my mom hot when I'm about to tell her that I relapsed, was suicidal, and have a secret kid." Johnny groaned, dropping his head back against the couch, staring up at Lily with a frown.
Lily snorted, kissing his forehead gently before she moved around to sit next to him, leaning into his side. "Why haven't you done it yet?" She asked softly, kissing his shoulder.
"I don't know, scared I guess?" He shrugged, leaning his head against hers, and rubbed his hand over her thigh.
Lily wrapped her arm around Johnny's, humming a random song under her breath. "She'll freak out, I won't lie to you, but she's your mom, she loves you, so it will be ok."
She reassured him, snuggling closer to him as he continued to stare at his phone.
"Do you want me to be here when you call, or do you want to be alone?" She asked, bringing his hand up to kiss his knuckles gently.
Johnny thought about it for a moment, moving his arm to wrap around her shoulder, kissing the side of her head as he considered the options. "I should probably do this on my own, I need to." He whispered into her hair, not willing to let her go quite yet.
"Ok, if you need me, just send me a text." Lily replied, closing her eyes as he held her close.
"You're always there for me." He whispered, and she sat up with a smile, studying his face, then she leaned in to give him a chaste kiss, cupping his cheek gently, but when she tried to pull away, he grabbed the back of her head, and kissed her again deeply, holding close before he pulled back, bumping his nose against hers before he let her stand up, and leave the room, watching her as she walked up the stairs.
I love you.
It was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say it out loud, not yet. He needed to bring everything to an end, and to give himself full closure before he could admit it.
He finally clicked on the call button, listening to the dial tone until his mother finally answered.
"Johnny?" Kat said in surprise, Johnny hadn't called her in so long, only sending the occasional text.
"Hey, mom." He replied, his voice already shaky just from hearing her voice. He didn't realize how much he needed to talk to her until just then. Fuck, he missed her so much.
"I'm so glad you called, honey! I know you've been busy, but it is nice to get to hear your voice." She said softly, putting the phone on speaker while she did the dishes.
"I know, I'm sorry. I should've called you sooner, it's just-" Fuck, he was going to cry, wasn't he.
"Johnny, what's wrong?" Kat asked, worry obvious in her tone at the sound of her sons shaky voice.
"I haven't been busy, mom. I'm at my beach house right now, I've been here for a month." He admitted hoarsely, pulling the phone away as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Why? I saw on your Twitter that the band had to push back the tour because they lost tracks or something?" She questioned, taking the phone off speaker, and brought it to her ear.
DU LIEST GERADE
My Empire of Dirt
FanfictionAfter everything Johnny has gone through over the past few years, he had finally met his wits end, but perhaps some time spent at a private beach house and the company of his former bassist is what he needs to come back to himself. Each chapter is b...
