Please note my stories are plot-driven, which I know is not everyone's cup of tea. I wanted to make sure you know this up front 💕💜
This story is for readers 18+
🚩 This book contains content intended for mature audiences including:
-Not written in a traditional fanfic style - No Y/N moments.
-Written in the style of a novel. Original character as main character. This is Lily's story and how the members impact her journey.
-Warning for solo Stan's: This work is ot7 in spirit with a slightly more focus on the Yoongi character. So, if you are looking for a strictly MYG solo story this may not be for you.
-Mature language/cursing
-Sex and sexual situations (Only a few scenes)
-Romanticism
-Angst
-LGBTQIA+ Support (no shipping). Queer character.
-Plot-driven, slow 🔥
-Alcohol and drinking
Enjoy and be well 💜
I don't want to be here.
It's Tuesday afternoon, and I'm sitting in the same waiting room I've had the displeasure of visiting for the last three weeks. I'm relieved nobody else is in the waiting area as I can battle my building anxiety without distraction. I can feel my pulse quickening while I fret over the pain that is surely in the cards for me today.
I have my earbuds in, and I'm listening to Eminem's "Lose Yourself." It's still one of my go-to songs when I'm about to face something I really don't want to, and I use it as an anthem to push myself through difficult situations like this physical therapy appointment that I have to talk myself into coming to each week.
I close my eyes, rocking my head back and forth to the beat while trying to convince myself I am a badass that can handle anything.
I can do this. I have to do this. Why am I so fucking clumsy?
I firmly press my fingernails into my palms and dig in. It's all part of my ritual to be prepared for what's about to come.
I'm completely drawn into the music, my eyes closed while concentrating on the lyrics. The song's beat builds with the rhythm of my anxious heart, and I quietly recite the chorus. As the words unconsciously escape my mouth, I am suddenly shocked back into reality by the sound of my name.
"Lily, um, Lily!" I open my eyes to see the receptionist smiling at me.
"Oh, oh, I'm sorry!" I laugh, slightly embarrassed, as my eyes fly open and begin to refocus on the room's features.
I startle slightly when I notice a man sitting diagonally across from me that was not there when I had initially closed my eyes. I can't believe I never heard him enter the room!
Sneaky mother fucker, I never even heard him.
My eyes sweep over him quickly, he's certainly handsome, and I notice he is dressed in a comfortable-looking pair of black slacks, with a black silky, long-sleeved v-neck dress shirt that buttons down the front. A black beanie and a facemask cover most of his facial features, but most of all, I notice his catlike eyes are peering at me with a look of amusement.
Those are the kind of eyes you get lost in for days. Lily, stop!
I slightly shrug my shoulders and smirk a silent apology in his direction as I clumsily grab my crutches. I am embarrassed as I struggle with my bag for a moment before following the receptionist. I'm relieved to escape this man who has firsthand witnessed my abysmal rapping skills.
Damn! How can one man look so comfortable and expensive all at once? I wonder silently.
My crutches have become more of a security blanket as I don't necessarily need to rely on them anymore, but they currently remain to give me some extra help as I gain my strength back. The receptionist brings me back to a light-filled room full of sports equipment and a table.
"Go ahead and sit down on the table, Lily. The therapist will be in shortly," the receptionist gently relays. I thank her as I carefully haul myself onto the cold table awkwardly, trying not to put too much pressure on my right knee.
A beautiful woman with long dark hair pulled into a neat ponytail and wearing a pristine lab coat enters the room with a welcoming smile.
"Mi Hi, it's so good to see you again. Even if I know you were just put on this earth purely to torture me!" I breathe out in familiarity. Over the weeks of physical therapy, we have gone beyond honorifics and last names and moved right to a first name basis.
Mi Hi has succumbed to what I've nicknamed my "sometimes outrageous personality" and puts up with my overfamiliarity with her. She has seen me at my worst and has helped dry my tears as I've worked through my injury.
I unabashedly tell her over and over during our appointments how thankful I am that she and her staff put up with my outlandish personality. She chuckles and always comforts me with her warm smile. My personality swings on a dime, sometimes I'm shy, and the next minute I'm acting like I've known you forever. The duality in my personality even surprises me most of the time!
In short order, Mi Hi has put me through the wringer. I curse myself for dislocating my knee after a clumsy fall onto the pavement some weeks ago. I was trying to walk and switch songs on my phone at the same time, and apparently, I can't multitask!
As she manipulates my leg and sweetly orders me to bend it up to my chest, it takes all of me to overcome the pain. I continue chanting the lyrics to my Eminem anthem inside my head as we go through the strength exercises. I know this torture is all about the healing process, but I still find some of the simplest movements difficult.
After a few exercises, I stand without my crutches, waiting for my next challenge. Mi Hi puts a small step stool in front of me and explains that I must attempt to take a step up. I feel myself tremble in anticipation of the impending pain.
"Permission to swear like a pirate, Mi Hi?" The words come out a bit strained, and I can feel my face turning several shades of red as I struggle to control my reaction. I'm happy that she truly is a saint as she chuckles and nods her confirmation.
I take a step up as she encourages me to stand, but I can hardly bear the shock of putting my full weight on my knee. I grit my teeth and push myself through the excruciating pain, my body shaking as I struggle. I'm doing everything in my power to be strong and push through without crying, so instead, the curse words begin spilling out of my mouth as I switch to speaking English.
"MOTHER FUCKER! HOLY SHIT! FUCCCCCKKKKKKK!" I yell at the top of my lungs through strained gasps, but with all the humor I can muster, I swing my arm up like I'm performing on a Broadway show.
"I'm so sorry. I am so rude! I swear I'm not always like this!" I gasp while trying to joke and laugh off the pain.
"It's OK, Lily, you are always so nice, and we've come to enjoy your brand of humor, which has been a refreshingly different change of pace around here." Mi Hi replies with a smile.
After our session, I slowly hobble back to the waiting room, my knee throbbing as I make my way to exit the building. I can't bring myself to look at the handsome mystery man in black again, knowing that I probably disturbed the entire building with my waterfall of curse words that I unleashed at an unhealthy decibel. I'm sure that they floated down the hallway and onto his unsuspecting ears.
I can feel the embarrassment rushing through me while I attempt to exit the building. Trying to use my crutches, hold my jacket and my bag all while navigating the door is turning into a comedy of errors. Suddenly I feel someone close by, and the door swings open for me. I look up, and the man in black is quietly holding the door open for me.
This simple gesture, or maybe it's his dark, beautiful eyes peering into my own, whisks away all the air from my lungs momentarily, and it takes me a second to come back to my senses.
Wow...
"Thank you," I reply softly, sneaking a glance up from underneath my lashes.
His eyes seem to dance with amusement as he replies, "You're welcome," and I smile shyly at his considerate manners as I pull my eyes away from him and hobble out into the street.
Jesus Christ.
I take a long breath, filling my lungs full of cool air, and compose myself. I shake my head, knowing that the electricity I just felt was one-sided. I would most likely not cross paths with this man again but gosh, his eyes....beautiful.
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A/N
When Lily isn't cursing like a pirate, she uses music as a coping skill and because it's her greatest joy in life. If you would like to listen to her Spotify playlist, you can use this link:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/77GY45iZ3AIGsfO1zmCSsv?si=d0b041e37227431d
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Update: Admittedly, this was the first book I ever wrote and I tried to do "all the things" -I learned a lot about writing along the way. I like to think I have really came into my own as a storyteller now. However, I don't want to rewrite this book because it's where our series began and so many of you reread it. I appreciate you all so much and thank you for sticking with me as my work as grown exponentially since this was written. I purple you 💜