I am woken up by the light snoring of James next to me which makes me smile.
His arms are still wrapped around me and we are in the same position we fell asleep in, which tells me both of us must've had a very good sleep.
I can't help but smile, looking at James sleep so peacefully. His long eyelashes nearly touching his cheek, his lips slightly open and his chest moving up and down, in a slow but steady rhythm is soothing.
I run my fingers through his hair, which was a bad idea as his eyes shoot open and he smiles.
"Sorry." I say and he chuckles.
"No it's okay. I know it's tempting." He says with a smirk and I roll my eyes.
"It's literally 9 o'clock in the morning and you're already cocky."
"It never goes away." He says with a wink and I roll my eyes. "How was your sleep?"
"Good. For 10 hours, I forgot what happened."
"That's good." He says and I smile.
"How was yours?"
"Amazing. Probably the best nights sleep I've had in years." He says and I raise an eyebrow.
"Really. Why?"
"Whenever I go to bed, I struggle to fall asleep straight away. I could be completely knackered from a game or training but still can't fall asleep. My mind just goes crazy and I can't stop thinking about random things." He says and I nod. "But last night, was the first time in a very long time I fell asleep within five minutes."
"James." I say placing my hands on his face to pull him closer. "I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Because it's not a big deal."
"Of course it's a big deal." I say and he smiles.
"Me not being able to fall asleep at night is nothing compared to what you went through last night." He says tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear and I nod.
"If you put it that way, then I guess you're right. But you should still see someone about this problem."
"I promise you I will, but right now my main concern is you." He says which causes me to smile.
"We should probably head downstairs, before my brother gets the wrong idea." I say and he nods which surprises me because I thought he'd smirk at me, like he usually does if I say something like that.
Part of me believes it's because of what happened last night, he doesn't want to trigger anything, which is kind of him, but another part of me wishes he did smirk, cause it's cute.
I drag myself out of bed and head to the bathroom where I splash my face with water and pull my hair up into a bun.
"I'll meet you down there." I say and he nods.
I walk out of my room and down the stairs where I find Marcus on the phone, probably talking to Em.
"Alright, I'll see you later, bye." He says hanging up as I stroll over.
"Morning." I say turning on the coffee machine that we decided to get fixed the other day and Marcus smiles.
"Morning, did you sleep alright?"
"I slept perfectly." I say and Marcus raises an eyebrow.
"Everything good?"
"Yes Marcus, everything is fine." I say then I roll my eyes. "We just slept if that's what you're wondering." I add and I hear him laugh.
"Well, I guess that's what you do in a bed right?" He says, being a smartass and I turn around to face him.
"Thanks for telling me Marcus." I say just as James bounds down the stairs with a smirk on his face.
"I don't think you two just slept." Marcus says looking at James and James laughs.
"We did Bont, she fell asleep in my arms." James says and I look at him, mouthing a thank you.
"Alright alright, I'm just messing, but I'm glad you had a good sleep." Marcus says taking a sip of his coffee and I shrug.
"Well it was either that or I would've been grumpy this morning."
"True." My brother says taking another sip of his coffee, and I turn back around to make mine.
"Would you like a coffee James?"
"Yes please." He says taking a seat at the bench and I smile, grabbing another mug from the draw.
"How many sugars?"
"One please." He says and I nod, grabbing the sugar and scooping one teaspoon, before pouring it into the mug.
"That's like two teaspoons the amount of sugar piled onto that."
"It's one teaspoon James. I have 50 in mine."
"Well that's not good."
"I have two, 50 was an over-exaggeration." I say as I pick up his mug and take it over to him, placing it on the bench in front of him which causes him to smile.
"Thank you gorgeous." He says and I blush as my brother looks between the two of us, but thankfully doesn't say anything.
"I'm gonna go see Em, I'll see you two for dinner I hope?"
"Yes, you will.." I say and James nods.
"Well, we'll see how Tahlia is going."
"Alright." He says, placing his mug in the sink before grabbing his car keys and walking out the door.
"So, any grand plans for today?" I ask and James shakes his head.
"No, not really." He says. "I was thinking of maybe going for a drive somewhere but I have no idea where."
"Yeah agreed." I say taking a sip of my coffee and he smiles.
"How are you?"
"I'm okay. I still feel a little uneasy knowing what could've happened last night, but I think I'm getting better."
"It'll take time for you to get over it fully, but you're one of the strongest people I know, so you'll get through it in no time." James says which makes my heart melt.
"Who gave you the right to be this sweet?"
"Just saying what you wanna hear."
"Oh so you don't actually mean it then?"
"Of course I mean it Tahlia." He says with a serious look on his face and I laugh.
"I'm joking, calm down." I say and he sighs, relaxing a little bit.
"How about we spend the day just chilling here, watching movies, just us two." James suggests and I nod, then smile.
"I like that idea. But what movies?"
"I was thinking, since the new spider-man movie is coming out soon, we should binge watch spider man."
"Ooh yes, I love that idea." I say then I smirk. "But it has to be the amazing spider man."
"What, cause of Andrew Garfield?"
"Uhh yes." I say and James rolls his eyes.
"Alright fine." He says and I clap my hands together, expressing my happiness. "But first, I am going to make you some breakfast."
"You don't have to, I'm fine with a coffee."
"No you need to eat breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day." James says walking over to the fridge and pulling out some bacon and eggs which makes me smile.
"Alright fine, while you're doing that, I'll head upstairs and get changed."
"Will do." He says then he stops me by gripping my arm. "Yell out if you need anything okay?"
"Okay." I say and he smiles, letting go of my arm.
I walk up the stairs and into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I then walk into my closet, pulling out some trackies and a cute crop top Em bought me for Christmas.
As I take my clothes off and look at myself in the mirror, and that's when the nightmare comes back. I feel his hands on me, holding me down, not being able to break out of his grasp as I pleaded with him to get off me, but he doesn't listen.
I begin to hyperventilate, as I did last night, but I focus on James' voice in my head, telling me that everything is going to be okay, and that I'm not going to die, it's just a panic attack.
I manage to calm myself down before I throw some clothes on and run down the stairs, throwing myself at James as the tears pour out from my eyes.
James is quick to stop what he's doing and wrap his arms around me, holding me, making me feel safe.
"Hey, it's okay." He says stroking my hair as I sob into his chest. "What happened?'
"I-I, had a panic attack again." I manage to get out in between sobs and James sighs, pulling me back into a hug and never letting me go.
"I wish I could take the panic attacks away from you." James whispers as I continue to cry...
James' POV:
My heart is broken, fucking broken by seeing Tahlia in such a distressed state.
I've known her for a little while now, and not once have I ever seen her like this. And it makes me sad. I want to take all the pain and suffering she is feeling right now and put it on myself because she doesn't deserve this.
She has been through a hell of a lot in these recent few years, and it seems like she can't get away from it.
What Daniel nearly did to Tahlia makes me mad, so fucking mad. How could he continue on when she specifically said no? It just baffles me.
When someone says no, it can be about anything, it means fucking no, end of story. But yet he continued.
I thank God I walked in at just the right moment. If I was just a split second late, there would've been a very different ending, which makes me sick.
"Tahls." I say lifting her head up from my shoulder and gripping it with both of my hands. I look into her gorgeous brown eyes and sigh. "I am so sorry."
"It's not your fault." She says crossing her arms and wiping her tears and I nod.
"And it's not yours either."
"I know." She says then sighs.
"Come let's sit on the couch and you can talk."
"What about breakfast?"
"It can wait, you're more important than some bacon." I say which makes a small smile appear on her lips.
I grab her hand and we walk to the couch together, taking a seat, before I pull her onto my chest, stroking her hair while she begins opening up to me.
"I want a boyfriend, so fucking bad James it's not even funny, but after what has happened, I don't think I could ever trust a man again."
"I totally get that. But Tahlia, you don't have to force it. It should come when you least expect it."
"Everyone says that but, I look at my brother who is happily married and my sister, going strong with her boyfriend and I envy them because none of my relationships have worked out." She says and I nod, then I look at her.
"But with me it did."
"It did, but I stupidly went back to Josh."
"It doesn't matter what you did afterwards, I'm talking about when we were a thing." I say and she nods, then sighs.
"I'm sorry for all this."
"Tahlia." I say sternly. "Don't be sorry, don't you dare blame yourself for something you couldn't control."
"I know, but I sort of feel responsible to a certain extent."
"Exactly to a certain extent you are responsible, but for what happened last night, you are not responsible for that so please don't blame yourself." I say then I sigh. "It breaks my fucking heart to see you like this, to see you hurting, having these panic attacks, not being able to look at yourself in the mirror without remembering what happened. I wish I could just click my fingers and make it all go away for you, take the pain away and make you forget what happened." I say caressing her face with my hand, which makes her smile.
"You are adorable." She says then she sighs. "You are driving me fucking insane, and I don't want to act on anything because I know I'm not ready and I'm not in the right mind set."
"Then don't." I say. "I'll wait, I'm not going anywhere. However long you take, I'll be here waiting, by your side supporting you with whatever you choose to do, whether it's another relationship or another fling with someone else, or be with me, I will be your number one supporter okay?"
"Okay." She says. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. But please, take your time, we're not in a rush."
"I promise I will." She says and I smile, placing a kiss on her cheek before getting up and continuing to make breakfast...
Tahlia's POV:
What came out of James' mouth just then made my heart explode. I didn't expect it. I didn't expect him to be so understanding of everything I'm going through.
It's not that he's trying to do the right thing by supporting me with whatever I do, he actually, genuinely cares about me, and that's something that shocks me because everyone else I've liked/dated hasn't given two fucks about me, or how I feel about certain things.
There is something different about James Worpel, and he is already having such a positive impact in my life...
***
Torpedo is literally the best 🥺
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