This girl sat a shoe box on top of the counter. Jay opened it up and pulled out a pair of Jordan 7 GG "Valentine" shoes.
"Do you have these in a six?" She asked him.
Jay cocked a smile and the way she smiled back I knew he was gonna hit on ole girl. "Yea lemme check. You got some baby feet girl."
She giggled as she leaned more into the counter. Jay left and was back in less than two. "Try these on and see if it fit."
The girl sat at the small bench and I watched Jay walk over to her. Kneeling he helped take off her white and red Adidas on her left feet. She giggled as he briefly rubbed his hands on her feet. "I hope you don't got no crusty toes under these pink socks." He teased her. Making her laugh.
Helping her slide on her shoe it seemed to fit perfectly. "I love them. They're so cute."
"Anything would look good on you baby," Jay flashed her one of his signature smiles which always lured the girls in.
The girl blushed and played in her kinky blonde curls. Jay is just a tad lighter than her. I had to admit the girl is cute and she's definitely mixed with sum. "Boy if you don't stop."
Jay laughed as he helped her take off her shoe placing it back in the box. He carried it back over to the counter.
She placed her purse on the counter taking out her visa card. "How much for them?"
"One forty."
Her pink lips slightly pouted a little. "Damn I don't think I have that much left on my card after shopping at Trends."
From the ten bags and a small latte she wasn't lying.
Jay licked over his lips and crossed his arms over on the counter. Leaning closer towards the girl as if he was gonna kiss her. "Tell you what. I'll give you a discount for just ninety in exchange for your number."
The girl blushed even more and I knew just one night with Jay them panties were his. I chuckled under my breath and shook my head at my best friend. His playing ass. I had to admit he has game.
The girl held out her hand and Jay gave her his phone. She typed in her number and handed it back to him, "I put in my address too. I'm having a party later tonight you should show face," she glanced at me and shyly smiled as well, "you can come too."
"I'm down baby. What time?"
"Ten but nine is the earliest. I'll see you two later." she grabbed her bags and left after paying for her shoes.
Jay stuck out his tongue as he held out his fist for me to bump. I slapped his hand away and laughed, "Bruh you a dog. I thought you were feeling Zendaya?"
Jay took out fifty bucks from his wallet and replaced the rest of the money the girl owed. Hell. He just got money like that to be giving out discounts. "Zendaya's cool I like her but i'm seventeen I ain't rushing into love like my sister. There's too many cute girls to settle for one."
I told him about his sister telling me that she always been in love with me. He shook his head and had said, "Damn. You got my sis sprung too?"
I like Santana but I didn't love her like that. I loved her but I'm not in love with her yet. I don't think i've ever loved someone since Raven but that's over with.
"I feel you but you sure you wanna lead the girl on if you seeing other people?"
"I don't want her with no one else but me so nah i'm not gonna tell her. Besides we not official official I just said she my girl."
I laughed, "That's a relationship bruh."
"Nah cuz I tell a lot of girls they're mine because they are. All my girls gotta position."
"And what's that?"
He held out his hand and started listing names off his fingers. "Main chick i'm messing with which is Zendaya. Late night is Ciara. Sidechick is this girl named Tamia. New side piece is the girl I just got a number from. Ashy knees is Julisa because she still willing to give me sloppy tops erynow in then even if we ain't close no more. If I get a girlfriend I gotta drop all my hoes and I refuse to pick them back up if we break up. Not happening."
My lip curled at the mention of Julisa. Ew. "Bruh. You still messing with thotlisa?"
"Hell nah. Not like we use to buh I just don't kiss her in the mouth or dive in. She basically doing erythang to me. I'm just letting her."
I shook my head. Jay is sum else I tell you.
"I think you just need someone who can put your ass in check and then you'll stop playing."
He snorted, "I wish a girl would try me like that," he softly slapped my chest, "Aye, I heard Raven seeing someone."
My eyebrows knitted together and I gave him a confusing look, "Really?"
Jay nodded. His eyes widening as he held back his smile. "You know how Alyssa is bi right?"
I shook my head. Not believing it. Raven and Alyssa together? I know Raven always had a thing for girls but I didn't think she was interested in Alyssa.
Jay chuckled under his breath, "Ight i'm lying bout that part but she is seeing some dude named Tyler Reese off the lacrosse team."
"Tall, white dude with the red hair?"
"Yeah him."
A woman and her two sons entered the store and I left his side, "I'm happy for her." I said, honestly. Even though I still didn't like the idea of her moving on so quickly, I'm moving on too. It's only fair. I went over to go assist the family.
Once my shift ended I gave Jay dap before leaving. He still has another two hours.
I walked through The Heights mall for a little. Browsing through different stores. Santana has been distant this pass week and I heard something about her finding out I still love Raven. I know it sounds bad to still be in love with your ex but it's not easy to shake off. The love isn't as much as it use to be but there's still something there. It's not like i'm acting on my feelings. I really like Santana and I mean it. Raven is the past.
Stopping at the jewelry store I browsed through the necklaces. I mainly looked at the cross necklaces. I haven't took off my cross necklace since my Dad gave it to me. Except when I have to take a shower. It's the only thing I have left of him.
I spotted the perfect necklace I'd give to Santana.
"Need help sir?" This lady stood across from me over the counter.
"Yeah. How much for that necklace?" I pointed to it.
She unlocked the small glass door and slid it open. Taking the necklace out she placed it on top of the counter. "It's a 14kt yellow gold Madi K Diamond cross necklace. It's two hundred and eleven dollars plus tax."
Taking out my wallet she was surprised that I was able to pay for it without problem. With all the money I save I can buy Santana whatever necklace she wanted. The lady placed the necklace into a small black box then placed it in the bag. "Have a nice day sir."
On my way out the store I ran into Crystal, this girl i've had classes with since middle school. She's real cool and we're somewhat close. "Wassup Criss?" I flashed her a smile.
She stood with her friend. Criss smiled back at me and gave me a hug, "Nothing much just shopping with my girl Tammy. What you buying some for your girl?"
I nodded my head what's up to her friend and she shyly smiled. Glancing back at Criss I said, "Yeah. I wanted to buy her something cute too but I don't know how to shop for girl clothes."
Criss and Tammy laughed at me. "Y'all boys just need a girl best friend to help y'all with that cuz y'all don't know how to shop for us." Tammy said.
I laughed myself, "I know I know but my best friend tripping right now."
When I went over to Raven's all we did was argue and we didn't get to no understanding and she just ended our friendship altogether. Said it was too hard to just be my friend.
Criss locked arms with me, "Well Raven missing out. We'll help you find something for your girl."
We had went in three stores before Criss and Tammy made me buy this red dress. Since i'm going to a party tonight I might as well take Santana with me. Maybe she might forgive me.
Criss dropped me off at my house. Since my Grandma died the house is already paid for. I still have to pay the rest of the bills every month. I set the bags on my couch and headed upstairs to take a shower.
On my way downstairs I held a blue Nike shirt in my hand and I only wore my black gym shorts. Beads of water still across my chest and neck. The doorbell had rang.
Setting my shirt across my couch I went to open my door. I was surprised to see Mom standing at the door but I was soon overcome with anger. Why is she here?
She rubbed the back of her neck like she was itching or something. Shaking my head I knew it's because of the drugs. "You gonna let me in or let me burn in the hot sun."
"I rather the second option," I said, but I proceeded to open the door to let her in out of respect.
"I got fired from my old job you know." she rubbed at her arms.
"Why you telling me this for? You got enough money stashed away in the bank that you kept from your own kids."
Rubbing her nose like a true crack addict she frowned, "There ain't no money left Tay."
Shaking my head I dismissed her with a wave of my hand, "See if you weren't sniffing coke you'd still have your job."
She yelled at me, "I ain't on drugs boy. All you do is disrespect me. I'm the parent around here and this house isn't yours until you're officially eighteen. It goes to me since I still have custody of you. I'm your legal guardian."
Even if her words are true I refuse to let her move any of her bags in here. "Nah. You ain't moving shit in here. Grandma would be turning in her grave if you slept one night in here. Y'all didn't get along and you know for a fact she ain't leave this house to you."
Mom laughed as she sat down on the velvet couch. Leaning her head back she ran her hands through her hair, "Even I know about the law Tay. You're still a minor no matter what you say, but I ain't come here to talk about this. I wouldn't want to move in this old fashioned house myself."
Even if the house is old fashioned it's all we have left of her. As long as this furniture is still here I have a feeling that she's still here. That nothing has changed. Somedays I still knock on the door hoping that she would answer and let me in. Somedays I walk in and expect her standing at the stove cooking me something to eat. Somedays I wish she was sitting on this very couch listening to me and giving me advice. Telling me everything will be alright. Even though I haven't cried since I laid my head on Santana's lap, I'm still slowly grieving in my own way.
"What do you want?"
"I need some money."
Scowling I scoffed, "Money? You ain't getting a damn thing from me."
Pain quickly crossed her face as if I hurt her. She quickly masked her feelings which made me feel remorse. Standing up from the couch she rubbed at her eyes, "You know what keep your money." I can hear her voice cracking. I hate myself for how much I love her. How much I wanted her to change. How much I wanted my mom back from years ago.
"How much do you need?"
I had gave Mom everything I had to get her back on her feet since she lost her job but I made sure to check her into the rehabilitation center not too far from here before I gave her the money. She promised me that she would stay.
As I sat on the city bus I ran my hands over my face. I gave away all the money i've been saving up since I worked at footlocker. I really hope that it was worth it. I'm broke 'na.
When I made it back home I spotted Santana sitting on my porch steps. I texted her to meet me here. She stood up once she saw me.
"Hey," she softly smiled at me. If she was hurt she sure didn't show it.
I wrapped my arms around her waist as I bent down and pulled her close to me since I'm tall. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "Stop being mad at me. I miss you."
She let me go but I refuse to let her go as I picked her up making her laugh. "Tay." she giggled as I started to carry her towards the house.
Unlocking the door I carried her upstairs to my bedroom and softly dropped her on top of the bed. I proceeded to get on top of her before I pinned her arms against my bed. "Stop being mad at me." I kissed her cheek. I kissed her lips. I kissed her neck.
"No." she said, hoarsely.
Not taking no for an answer I kept sucking on her neck and i'm loving how she's squirming underneath me. Trying so hard to resist but she ends up moaning once I rubbed myself in-between her legs. I just wanted to forget about my grandma's funeral, my mom, being away from my sister, moving on from Raven, and just everything. I just want to forget.
It's when I started unzipping her shorts she quickly grabbed my hand, "Not like this Tay."
Confusion crossed my face as I looked down at her. "What do you mean? I thought you were ready?"
She closed her eyes and I cursed under my breath when I seen a single tear stroll down her cheek. She's forcing herself from crying. Lifting some of my body weight from off her I cupped her cheek, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I didn't think experiencing my first time would be like this. Obviously something is bothering you and you're trying to distract yourself by having sex with me," she said, her voice cracking slightly before she pulled herself together. Opening her eyes I can see her frustration and anger, "I thought I was your girlfriend not some ho you have sex with because you want to get over shit. You couldn't even tell me that you're still in love with Raven. As much as I would love to feel you inside me I won't. Not like this."
She pushed me up so that I can get off her. I couldn't deny what she said because she's right. I'm going through a lot of stuff and I guess I got caught up in the moment.
"I'm sorry."
This is what made her finally cry and I felt guilty about it. "Sorry doesn't fix anything. What's the point of us being together if you love some other broad and you're constantly hiding shit from me?" She continued to sob.
I got up from the bed. I couldn't take her cries and it's just another thing added to the list I have to deal with.
Opening my top drawer I pulled out the small box that held her necklace inside. I was going to give it to her tonight but I think this is the right moment to. Sitting next to her I handed her the box.
Tears continued to stream down her face as she tried to wipe them away and stop crying.
"Stop before you make me cry. Open it baby please." I said softly. Wrapping my arms around her I pulled her close.
Opening the box she pulled out the cross necklace and stared at it.
"You know how much my necklace means to me. It's the only thing I have left of my Dad. The only thing that pushes me to go on everyday. That what i'm doing is for him. When I saw the cross necklace at the store I knew I had to get it for you. You mean so much to me Santana. I can't help that I have little feelings for Raven but there slipping away every minute i'm with you. I don't want Raven I want you baby. Please stop being mad at me."
Even though a few tears kept falling she managed to smile, "I hate that you make me cry but things like this is the reason why I love you so much."
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