Lizzie's POV
"Alexa I won't tell you again, if you want breakfast you need to hurry up!" I yell down the hall as I throw my hair into a quick bun. Let's just say the atmosphere this morning is a little tense, we slept in past our alarm and also the fact we were both in very deep sleeps didn't help, but now we are both going to be late.
What makes it worse is, as we all know my daughter is not a morning person, and trying to get her to rush is not working.
After Alexa finished school yesterday, we went to Home Depot, it took us 3 trips for different samples to find the exact colour she wanted to paint her room. When we finally got everything we needed, I insisted on checking with Mike that she'd be okay to paint since her ribs are still healing. Even though she barely has any pain now, I wanted to be sure.
Once he gave us the go ahead we went home and changed into matching overalls, very cute I know! It only took us around an hour to do the first coat of the blue, then repaint and gloss the skirting boards and Alexa's book shelf. We make a great team!
I cooked us dinner and we sat outside in the yard while we ate which was really nice, also because we were covered in blue and white paint and I didn't want that on my couch. We talked about school and life and anything that came to mind, it was magical just being lost in our moment and hearing Alexa's laugh.
It's probably one of my favourite moments with my daughter, her smile will forever be etched into my mind when I think of that night.
We went back upstairs and painted a second coat to her bedroom walls and honestly it looked even better than how I pictured it. As we were clearing up I couldn't help myself, I dipped my fingers into the paint tray and slowly walked up behind Alexa.
"Sweetheart, look at this!" I say trying not to laugh, she stands up and turns around straight into my blue covered finger and I swipe it across her face! "Oh you did not just do that! MOM!" She squeals in her laughter and I do it a second time.
Alexa's face turns into her mischievous smirk and before I knew it she was softly high-fiving my face with her white paint covered hand. I gasp and blink my eyes open "Oh it's on missy!" I chuckle walking towards her, she instantly turns and bolts out the door.
I follow her as fast as I can down the stairs and out the back patio doors into the yard. She turns to face me and we both start circling each other, covered in paint, in our matching overalls, bare foot on the grass. If we had any immediate neighbours they'd think we were crazy.
We both giggle as I run towards Alexa, wrapping my arms around her body and lifting her up until we tumble down on the grass. "Okay, okay you win!" Alexa laughs in defeat catching her breath, we lay still both looking up at the stars. The sky is so clear tonight which is rare.
We lay in silence for a little while just looking, Alexa's hand slowly takes mine as she brings it up under her chin. "Mom?" She asks quietly, I turn my body slightly so I can see her. She just stays staring up at the sky. "Yeah sweetheart?"
"Do you think she looks down on me?" Alexa once again asks, so quietly I only just heard her. I move right up next to her and take my hand back, instead putting my arm under her shoulder and rejoining her hand on the other side so I can cuddle her.
"I do, I think she'll always look down on you." I answer honestly, I'd like to think it brings her some comfort but what she says next takes me by surprise. "I don't. I don't think she does anymore... not all the time anyway."
"What do you mean?" I reply a little confused.
"I don't really know what I think happens when you die, but the more I think about my mother, I think maybe she's been with me and watched over me. At least I hope so, it always brought me comfort thinking that she was here, but I don't know. If she did, I don't think she does anymore. I think she's moved on, she knows I'm okay and I'm safe and I'm loved." Alexa turns her face up to me and as much as I expected to see tears, I don't I just see my happy little girl.
"I used to talk to her a lot, sometimes out loud with words other times in my journals. Not so much recently." She states casually, I don't say anything feeling like she maybe isn't finished.
"I just kind of realised as I looked up at the stars, she was my mother, she gave birth to me right? But I was only 2 years old when she died, apart from 2 photographs, I don't have any memory of her. I don't know her voice, I don't know what she was like as a person. I just created this idea of my mom in my head. I love her, I will always remember and think about her, she's my mother... but she's not my mom."
Her hand carefully wipes a tear that I didn't realise was dripping down my face. "You are my mom, you love me and care for me, you make me laugh, you comfort me when I'm down, or when I've had a nightmare; you're the one that holds me and tells me everything will be okay. I'm Alexandra Maeve Olsen and my mom is the amazingly talented, caring, most beautiful, selfless human in the world and the person I look up to most. My mom is Elizabeth Chase Olsen and that makes me the luckiest child in all of existence."
Alexa cuddles into me with a huge smile on her face as I cry like a baby. Of course she's my daughter and to me, it feels like she always has been. But, to hear her tell me that I'm her mom, is a whole other emotion I don't know how to explain.
We laid out on the grass for a while finding shapes in the stars until it got a little chilly. We head back to spend our final night in the apartment, both taking well needed showers and getting into some comfy pyjamas. I fold up our overalls and put them in a little box, they're something I definitely want to keep.
When we finally go to bed it's almost 2am and both Alexa and I were feeling the exhaustion. As soon as we get into my bed we're out like lights... Which brings us to now, frantically rushing around to get ready for our day!
"Mom I can't find my Docs! Do we have any cereal?" Alexa grumbles as she walks into the kitchen, heading straight for the pantry to find what I assume to be said cereal.
"Good morning Mom. Good morning sweetheart! Do you happen to know where my docs are? Yes sweetheart, they're in the office where you left them. Oh thanks mom you're the best! No problem it's what I'm here for!" I dramatically and albeit quite sarcastically, talk to myself as Alexa finds something to eat.
"Sorry Mom. Good morning, I love you. Thankyou, you're the best!" Alexa says finally smiling for the first time this morning as she hugs my back and leans over to kiss my cheek. We both take a little breath and calm a moment as Alexa goes off to find her shoes, coming back out of the office a couple of minutes later Docs in hand.
"You look cool!" I tell her as she stand up pulling her bag over her shoulder. I receive furrowed eyebrows almost a scowl in return. "Sorry am I too much of a Mom now I can't say you look cool either?" I tease as I add cool to my imaginary list of things I can't call her. Other entries include cute, funky and now cool.
"Good morning Olsens!" I hear Keen happily shout through as he opens the front door. "Got to go, love you Mom" Alexa rushes out to join keen, I follow and manage to wave them off. "No tears today, we're doing good momma!" I high five myself with a little laugh.
What has happened to me!
I gather the last of our things and put them in my car, as I question my existence of when I became a dorky mother who talks to, and high fives herself.
After one final sweep I shut off the lights and lock the front door, making sure to slot the 4 sets of keys back through the letter box as requested by the owners. I stand back and just look at the building that has become my home over the last year.
I moved here straight out of a relationship, heartbroken and miserable. It all turned around though, my best friends Chris and Scarlett picked me up, dusted me off and helped me through, but most importantly I became a mother here.
4 blocks away, my world changed for the better. This was our first home together, but now we're moving on to our forever home. And as always my best friends will be by my side, along with my crazy dysfunctional family.
But most importantly my daughter...
Alexa Maeve Olsen.
———————————————————————————Word count: 1809
And just like that we've reached the end of book 1! Don't worry book 2 is already in the works continuing our journey. I just felt like this was a good place to conclude the 'adoption' part of their story.
I want to thank every single one of you for being on this journey with me. You have no idea what it means to me when I posted the first 5 chapter I remember how crazy it was when I hit 100 reads! Some of you have been here from day 1 and thanks to this book I've made many amazing online friends. I started this book to give me a little outlet from life and with every chapter and especially these little notes I feel so humbled by the response and the love so with that...
For the last time in this book I want us all to take care of ourselves. Drink some water, get some rest, try to eat a little something.
From the bottom of my heart I truly mean it
I love you all dearly xxx