A week later
Yunho's Point of View
I don't like him. I mean, he seems nice enough, but that's part of the problem! I mean, look what I'm up against!
As if being tall, handsome, smart, and incredibly successful wasn't threatening enough, the guy is also helpful and nice...
I don't like him. Why did noona have to have a best friend like him? A best friend whose house she can visit, alone. A best friend whose lap she can sleep on while he strokes her hair.
I was angry that day. As we rode home, Seonghwa, Bosam, and I were in the backseat. Noona was in the middle, so when she checked her phone, I couldn't help myself as I took a quick glance. And one glance was enough to make me jealous. I saw the picture he had sent her. I saw the caption he had typed. I saw the way she reacted... Were they really just friends?
I just wanted him to leave so noona and I could talk about it while having dinner together and then watch something, as we had planned... maybe even cuddle on the couch to make up. But no... Hongjoong-hyung had to invite him in for dinner. Everyone was star-struck when we walked into the dorms with Zico-hyung.
I did end up helping noona make dinner, but we didn't even get to do that alone, since Wooyoung joined us, wanting to prepare something nice for our guest. My day was successfully ruined.
As if all of that wasn't enough, once we sat down to eat, at one point, Zico finally checked his phone and laughed as he saw noona's text. "Yahh, Bosam, why are you so shy? Isn't she cute when she's sleeping?" he teased her, proudly showing the table the picture he had taken.
I didn't even get to appreciate Bosam's extremely cute whining, because I was just fuming. Was he trying to show off?
Bosam tried to reach over the table to grab his phone from him in an attempt of stopping the others from seeing her cute sleeping face, but Zico just stood up and held the phone over his head. When Bosam stood up too, hopping up and down trying to reach the phone and basically cutely wrestling with him for it, I was this close to just standing up and slapping his phone out of his hand myself, but Seonghwa placed his hand on my leg to stop me as I went to stand up. I looked at him, a glare already on my face, and he just shook his head with a bit of a panicked expression. I sighed and stuffed my face with the food we had prepared in hopes of distracting myself from my jealousy. Suddenly, the food didn't taste as good.
Thankfully, he left after dinner. I accompanied Bosam and Hongjoong when they walked him to the door, not because I wanted to, but because I also didn't want to leave him alone with noona. "It was really nice to meet you, Hongjoong-ah. And you too, Yunho. Take good care of our Bosam-ie," I remember him saying. Hongjoong thanked noona and even gave her a hug after Zico left. He was really happy he got to meet him... I wish I could say the same.
After Hongjoong left, Bosam looked up at me with a sigh. "Will you pull yourself together? Jesus Christ, Yunho, I have friends, so what? You've been practically glaring at me all day." she said, crossing her arms. I put my hands on my hips, scoffing lightly. "Well, how would you feel if the person you like and have been dating suddenly blows you off to go hang out with a friend who keeps teasing her and acting cute with her?" I asked, making her frown. "Yeah, I guess you wouldn't know. Because you don't like me the way I like you, do you noona?" I asked, which only made her frown deepen. "You are so unreasonable. Not everyone falls in love overnight, Jung Yunho. I was starting to like you, but if you're just gonna be toxic and possessive, don't even bother calling me." she said, making a sour face at me, before turning around to leave, but then stopping a few steps ahead to say. "Oh, and for the record, Jiho has been my close friend for five years. If I wanted to date him, I would've done it already. But instead, I went on dates with you, you idiot." she said, rolling her eyes at me for good measure before storming off and locking herself in her room.
I couldn't sleep that night. At one point, I even walked to her door and went to knock on it... but what would I even say? Was I sorry? Not really... I just hated this heavy feeling in my chest. Her face before she left kept replaying over and over in my head. She looked... hurt. And if I hurt her then yeah, of course I was sorry. I didn't mean to... but I wasn't sorry about how I acted. Were my feelings not justified? I contained myself all day, even though it felt like Zico-sunbaenim was deliberately trying to make me jealous with every little thing he did. Still, somehow, I was the bad guy in her eyes... and I hated being the bad guy.
She was probably asleep... I let out a small sigh and rested my forehead on her door, eyebrows furrowed together as I tried to think of what to do and how to fix things. I didn't want to lose all my progress with her. I didn't want to be one of those insecure, jealous guys whose jealousy ended up pushing their girl away into another guy's arms. But... was I in the wrong?
My thoughts were cut short by Bosam's voice. "Who is it?" Her tired voice came from the other end of the door. My eyes widened a bit. Did the sound of my forehead against her door wake her up? Was she that light of a sleeper?
"Noona," I said. "Yunho-yah?" she asked, to which I hummed in agreement. "Come in," she said.
I opened the door, feeling nervous. I didn't plan for this, I just came here on instinct. What now? The room was dark... I can't remember if I had ever been to Bosam's bedroom. The only light source when I first came in came from the faint glow of the glow-in-the-dark star stickers behind her bed. But then she turned on a lamp on her bedside table, making us both wince due to the sudden brightness. Then my eyes fell on her and the heaviness in my chest lifted for a second as my heart skipped a beat.
She looked adorable. Her hair was messy, she had no makeup on, and she was wearing an oversized black sweater with some gold text on it. Her thick blanket was bunched up around her waist as she sat up. "Did I wake you?" I asked. She shook her head. "No, I couldn't sleep."
"Oh?" I asked, surprised. "Yeah, I'm not used to sleeping alone," she said vaguely. I rubbed my arm awkwardly as I asked "how come?"
"Well.. don't just stand there, sit," she said, patting her bed. I was surprised that she was so calm after our argument earlier, but I obediently did as she said and nervously closed the door before walking up to her bed and sitting on the spot she had patted- which happened to be right beside her.
"Have you heard of separation anxiety?" she asked. I thought I had, but I wasn't sure. "Like.. with dogs?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too dumb. She laughed a bit. "Uhm... yes. Some dogs get separation anxiety, where they get upset when their owner leaves. Kids typically also get separation anxiety, when they have to be apart from their parents. Those two types are pretty well known... but obviously, neither applies to me. Still, adults can sometimes feel a similar way too. For me, I get insomnia, having to sleep alone, because I'm too used to having Rowoon right there, next to me." She explained, pointing at the spot where I was sitting.
"This week must've been pretty rough for you then," I said, my face saddening as I met her eyes. She nodded a bit, looking ahead. "Mhm. I've barely gotten any sleep." She explained.
Oh... was that why she fell asleep at his place? Suddenly, I felt awful. "Is... that why you took a nap at Zico-sunbaenim's house?" I asked. She met my eyes and sighed a little. "Yes, Yunho. I was tired, sue me." She said, rolling her eyes before looking ahead, clearly unamused by my question.
"Noona, I'm sorry," I said genuinely, reaching for her hand. "I'm not trying to be jealous... I'm just trying to understand this situation. You know I'm not experienced with this sort of thing... I'm sorry but I just... I felt really bad seeing that picture. It seemed like a thing couples would do. It's not even something you do with me," I said, looking down a bit.
I felt her free hand touch my chin, guiding my face up to look at her. She did that thing again where she scanned my face, her hand lingering on my chin. I felt something funny in my stomach- oh my gosh, are these the butterflies everyone talks about? I think I like it when she looks at me all intense like that. I broke eye contact for a split second, subconsciously glancing down at her lips. We still hadn't kissed. I wanted to kiss her. I met her eyes back and found her giving me another eye roll as she moved her hand away, but at least this time she had a smile on her face.
"Ahh," I whined, hiding my face with my hands as a dark blush settled on my cheeks. She could see right through me, couldn't she?
I could hear her chuckle as I kept my face hidden, waiting for my blush to subside. But then, suddenly, I felt the bed shifting and a small weight on my lap, making me move my hands away curiously. She was lying her head on my lap.
A surprised smile made its way to my face as I looked down at her. She smiled back up at me. "For the record, yes that's why I took a nap at his place. Because I'm tired, Yunho. He's my close friend... Jiho, Jihoon, and Jaehyun are the closest friends I have- they're like the brothers I never had. I've never seen them as anything more. That's why we're comfortable doing things like this. I don't know why Jiho took that picture. I think he just did it to tease me. Like I said, we have a sibling-like bond, we like to tease and annoy each other." She explained, looking up at me.
I nodded slowly, understanding. "Look Yunho, if you expect this to go anywhere, there needs to be trust. It's not easy for me either, my last relationship was Rowoon's father, and... he left me feeling like I wouldn't fall in love again. But I'm trying. You need to try too. I promise you, Woo Jiho is nothing more than a close friend to me. Are you going to trust me on that?" She asked, looking up at me.
I nodded hesitantly. "I will. I trust you, noona. But... please be mindful of my feelings. I couldn't ask you to change your plans, but then our plans for tonight were turned upside down. I was really looking forward to it..." I said, looking down at her. She pouted a bit at me.
I felt like my brain was melting when she pouted like that. Bosam didn't usually act cute, and I don't know if she was trying to be cute, but she just.. she looked so adorable. I really wanted to kiss her.
"Okay. You're right, I'm sorry. You guys have a busy schedule for the rest of the week and so do I but... I'll make it up to you, okay? I'll plan our date. This weekend, what do you say?" She offered, making my heart speed up.
And just like that, we made up. We kept chatting about little things and I started to stroke her silky hair until eventually, she stopped responding. I looked down at her and found her sleeping soundly. I didn't dare move and risk waking her up, so at one point, I must've fallen asleep too, sitting, because next thing I knew, it was morning, and I woke up to the sound of her alarm.
She was embarrassed and ushered me out pretty much right away, telling me to wake San up. I didn't sleep great, considering we must've fallen asleep around two am and I slept sitting up, but I still felt incredibly happy and somehow full of energy. It was so refreshing getting to see Bosam like that. She usually sees my bedhead, and that time, I got to see hers. I had a permanent grin on my face that day.
The week went by painstakingly slow, but thankfully, it was finally the weekend. I was hanging out in my room, trying to distract myself and not be pushy, but I was incredibly excited about our date. It was Saturday night when noona knocked on our door.
"Come in!" I said immediately. She poked her head in and gave San a quick bow before smiling at me. I couldn't see what she was wearing, but I was excited, even if I had no clue what we were doing. "Yunho-yah, are you free?" she asked. I nodded eagerly, making her giggle. "Can I take you out then?" she asked, making my heart flutter. I jumped to my feet right away. "Is what I'm wearing okay?" I asked. She nodded. "I have everything ready, so whenever you're ready, I'll be in the car waiting for you," she said, before closing the door.
I stomped my feet a bit, a huge grin on my face as San looked at me with a surprised smile. "Did she just ask you on a date?" he asked. I put my hands on my hips proudly and said "that's right." San laughed in surprise, covering his mouth with his fist. "Wah... congratulations Yunho!" he said, making me bow deeply, as if accepting an award. I then grabbed a coat, since it was still winter, and made my way outside after muttering a quick goodbye.
I quickly stuck my feet into my shoes and made my way out into the car, after double-checking that I had washed my teeth, wore cologne, and put on deodorant that day.
Bosam looked very cute. She was wearing a white turtleneck, a gray beanie, and black pants. I hadn't seen her wearing a beanie before, but it really suited her. It made her ears stick out cutely.
I wrapped my arms around her as I stepped out and found her waiting in front of the car. "Thanks for asking me out," I said, overjoyed just by that fact. I didn't even care about what we were going to do, I was just happy to spend time alone with her.
She laughed a bit and said I shouldn't thank her yet, before telling me to get in the car. When I did, I instantly started sniffing. It smelled like food.
I turned on the radio and sang along softly while she drove, looking out the window, curious as to where we were going. I glanced over at her. She really did look pretty tonight. The nerves started approaching once again as I remembered seeing this a lot on shows: guys putting their hand on their girlfriend's leg. They always seemed to like it. Should I try it? Maybe not. I wish we could hold hands right now.
Eventually, I started to realize where we were heading. "Are we heading to that hill?" I asked, my face lighting up. That place was really pretty! And it was the time noona started to look at me differently. "Mhm. I've always wanted to go stargazing, and I thought this would be a good spot." She said smiling a bit as she gave me a quick glance.
Stargazing was what we least did. She packed a blanket and a picnic basket with some food. We walked up the small hill, lay down the blanket, spread out the food, and ate while looking at the beautiful view. The Hanok village was all lit up, and there was not one cloud in the sky, letting us see a really pretty night sky.
After eating, we lied down on the blanket and looked up at the sky. We started pointing at stars and making up constellations. I made her laugh, saying a little bundle of stars looked like Seonghwa's eyebrows.
At one point, the conversation died down a bit and I looked over to her. I could see the shining outline of her features under the illuminated night sky. She was already breathtaking, but under this lighting, she looked even more beautiful.
She too looked over to me. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, noticing me already staring at her.
"Nothing really. I'm just happy to be here. With you. I still can't believe you asked me to go on a date. For some time it felt like you were avoiding spending time alone with me at all cost." I said. She looked away and laughed awkwardly. "Yunho, I kind of was," she confessed, making my eyes widen.
"Eh?" I said, startled by her brutal honesty, "why?!" I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.
"I... it's a little rough for me. Before this, I hadn't gone on a date in five years." She admitted, making my eyes widen even more.
"Really? Wow... I.. wow." I eloquently said in response, to which she nodded a bit. "Why? It can't be because no one ever asked you out." I pushed further. She looked down at her nails. "I didn't want to... I wasn't ready. The last guy I let inside my heart was Rowoon's father and... for the longest time, it felt like when he left, he took my heart with him. The only new person I really allowed myself to love fully was Rowoon. I was... not myself at all after his father and I broke up, but... having Rowoon and seeing him grow brought so much joy and love into my life, it felt almost like I was being born again and growing too. But I guess I still kept a lot of things like... Distrust? My ex, he.. he was the first guy I ever loved with every little bit of me. I gave him everything but... that wasn't enough for him," she said, a small frown forming on her face.
"Noona..." I muttered, reaching for her hand. She intertwined our fingers and even shuffled a little closer to me. "If he couldn't appreciate that, then he's an idiot. I mean with the slightest bit of you, I'm more than happy. Like this. I feel like I could float, this makes me so happy." I said, looking into her eyes as I lifted our joined hands. She met my eyes and smiled warmly. "Mhm. I like that about you. You're patient, and you appreciate the small things. It's easy to make you happy Yunho. I really like that," she said, shuffling a bit closer to me.
"Are you cold?" I asked after a few seconds, noticing how her small hand felt cold in my own and she kept scooting closer. The night was a bit chilly after all. "A little bit," she admitted. She wasn't wearing a coat too. I thought for a second, before leaning over her to pull one side of the blanket that was under her to drape it on top of her instead. Under the soft, cool lighting, it was hard to make out, but I could see a bit of a blush on her cheeks as she smiled at me as I lay back down.
She shuffled even closer to me, and let go of my hand to instead hug my arm. I blushed softly at that, taking a moment to just look at her. She looked happy. It made my heart swell with joy and pick up the pace, realizing we were so close to each other.
"It's scary to fall in love for people like me, Yunho. After giving away your heart and getting it handed back to you in pieces, you start wanting to protect it, you know? It's not easy to put back together. It takes time to trust someone like that again." She said, staring into my eyes. She then sighed, asking "So then why is it so easy to trust you?"
I didn't know the answer to that. All I could focus on were her beautiful eyes that reflected the starry night sky, and this restless feeling inside my racing heart. The only way I can describe the way it felt is... it was like I wanted to do something, I just wasn't sure what- did I want to take her in my arms and hold her close, or did I want to run away? I was nervous, as if waiting for something to happen, I just didn't know what it was... until she kissed me.