Do you remember when I said:"You know that feeling when you know you shouldn't be doing something but you do it anyway? Because in the moment it feels so right? And you don't care what the consequences are because you are so caught up in the moment and never want it to end?"
Well, it's been three years since I said that, three years since he came crashing back into my life in a way that I never expected him and I would be.
But today also marks two and a half years since Josh Dunkley and I broke up. And yeah I mean I'm fine. I moved on ages ago, but I can't help but let my mind wander a bit and think of the what if's.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda but didn't.
Turns out my dream of marrying Josh Dunkley wasn't what God had in mind, and honestly I'm fine with that. If you would have told me two and a half years ago that Josh and I weren't going to end up together, I probably would've freaked out on you and listed the reasons as to why we would. But like I said, shoulda, woulda coulda.
Josh and I's relationship got very toxic, to the point where we couldn't trust each other to do things alone. Or I couldn't trust him. Maybe it was because I was scared he was going to leave me again, which is true, I was. But I also was getting signs that maybe he wasn't being loyal to me, which I found not to be true when I interrogated him about a girl he was texting. Turned out she was one of the medico's at the club. That interrogation brought up a massive argument and basically tore our relationship apart.... Although we did work things out again, it wasn't the same.
We stayed together for a month after that massive argument, and I could tell things weren't heading in the right direction. It felt like we were going backwards, so I had a chat with Josh, and we mutually agreed that we'd break up, have some time apart and become friends again later on down the track, which happened virtually straight away. Josh and I knew that we would eventually become friends again because he is best friends with my brother, so I guess we sort of put all the bad things that had happened while we were together behind us and started again on a clean slate, as friends of course.
Marcus wasn't too happy with how Josh and I's relationship ended, but he was glad that we were able to sort things out and become somewhat civil after our break-up. It made him sleep easy at night knowing that his best friend, and sister are okay, and aren't trying to rip each other's throats out.
Now, my life consists of... well, spending time with Em, Marie and Marcus as well as Ariana. I also sometimes hang out with Naughts as he is good company. Sometimes is probably an understatement as he really is one of my closest friends.
I really can't get away from Josh though, since I am working at the club, but like I said before, we have both moved on and have left what's happened in the past and therefore have no issues if we run into each other at the club, and on game days.
I basically work at the club on a Thursday because they don't need me there full time as Em and some of the other Physio's work full-time. So I agreed to work two days a week as a permanent casual as that's the only position they had available. I really just help Em with things, so you could call me her assistant, but I also help her with making decisions on players rehab plans and all that sort of stuff. Oh and I also always work on Game day, again just helping Em and the other Physio's with stuff but I'm mostly a trainer, running out onto the ground and giving the boys their water and obviously assisting the boys if they get injured. It's a good way of me keeping fit as it involves running, and I enjoy it, so that's a plus.
You're probably wondering what my other days consist of... well, I managed to get back into teaching, three days a week as the bulldogs couldn't give me a full-time position, so I went back.
A lot of the students, and other teachers were happy to have me back, even the principal was happy to have me back, so I settled in straight away.
So yeah, that's my life at the moment, just trying to keep myself busy and occupied by doing the things I love.....
The doorbell rings bringing me out of my daydream. I groan, getting up and walking over to the front door, yanking it open to reveal Ariana standing there, which makes me smile.
"Hey." I say and she gives me a sympathetic smile.
"Hey girl, how are you?"
"I've been better." I groan and she nods, walking past me and into the house while I shut the door, before joining her on the couch.
"Well how about we go out to a club tonight? You need to have some fun, girl." Ariana says and I sigh.
"You're not gonna take no for an answer are you?"
"Nope." Ariana says with a smile.
"Alright, fine." I say groaning and Ariana laughs.
"We're leaving at 9pm okay?" She says and I nod, then sigh.
"Do we really have to, I can't be bothered I spent all day marking my year 12's P.E sac, and I'm kind of exhausted."
"Alright fine, we don't have to go." She says and I smile at her.
"Anyways, how's it going with you and Caleb?"
"Good actually. He treats me like a queen." She says which makes me smile.
"As he should."
"And he's really romantic, which is surprising."
"It's always the ones you least expect." I say with a laugh and she nods.
"Literally. I'm glad you set me up with him."
"And I'm glad you've finally found happiness." I say and she smiles.
"No, I really appreciate it Tahls. Caleb has been the best thing that has happened to me."
"Aww now that's adorable."
"Well it's true." She says and I smile. "Besides I still ship you with Aaron."
"Aaron? Please no, he's a good mate."
"Why Tahls? He cares for you, makes you laugh and is a good bloke. Perfect for you."
"I'm not dating another one of my brother's friends, look how the first one turned out."
"But this one might be different."
"I doubt it." I say and she sighs.
"See, you're not even giving it a chance, you're shutting it down straight away."
"Because I value my friendship with Aaron and I don't want that to go down the gurgler."
"I guess you do have a point, but you never know unless you try it."
"Don't be ridiculous Ari, I am not getting with Aaron." I say and she sighs.
"Alright fine, you can kiss your dream of becoming an AFL WAG goodbye."
"I have a brother that plays AFL, I think that's enough."
"You sure? The WAG life is pretty good, look at Em for instance." She says and I nod, sighing.
"Em's living every girl's dream right now, married to the one and only Marcus Bontempelli."
"I guess she is, but I don't know if that life is for me."
"Maybe it is, I can see you driving a Range Rover with your four kids, taking them to school before stopping at the coffee shop to catch up with some of the Mum's, before going to the gym and coming home to do some housework, then going to pick up the kids again wearing all your designer clothes."
"That does sound lovely."
"See, most girls want that life."
"You're right." I say picking up my phone and scrolling through Instagram, before putting it down on the couch again.
My phone is out of my hand for about 5 seconds before it vibrates. I flip it over and see that I've received a message from the person I least expected to get a message from right now...
"Hey! it's been a while... You wanna catch up or something?" And my heart drops....
***
I was gonna say, you're all gonna hate me for leaving it on another cliffhanger, but you all probably have worked out who the text message is from HAHA - it's kind of obvious now.
But if you don't know, don't stress, the next update will be out soon.
I will be updating once a week whilst I'm still writing the story, then the updates will become more frequent!
I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter!
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