Ryan's Point Of View
Everything has changed.
I feel helpless and weak like a newborn pup. I remember a time I thought Leyla not being here would be the best thing. I remember a time when I wished she would disappear. I remember a time when I wished that I didn't have to breathe the same air as her. I remember wishing that my father would leave and I never had to look at him again. I never understood proverbs before but the only one that crosses my mind at this moment is you should be careful what you wish for.
My chest hurts, my body aches, my wolf is angry but I am happy to wither his hatred. He hates me for what I have done, he hates me for losing his mate. The only thing he is happy about is that she escaped the hell that I had created for. It's funny, how I used to love the life I lived but now all I feel is trapped in a prison that I can't escape.
It's been over a week since Leyla escaped and although apart of me is angry that she left, a part of me just can't blame her. The sacrifice of my soul mate allowed my wolf to finally resurface and although I count the blessings that he is now speaking to me. He has nothing but bad things to say, his voice in my head is a constant reminder of the mess I have created.
Once upon a time, I revelled in the worship, praise and comfort that Elisha had provided. Now all I feel is shame and self-loathing. Every time she touches, I feel myself flinch. I knew she wasn't my true mate and although I had done nothing but hurt and betray my Leyla. I couldn't bring myself to be the same person I was.
Elisha was desperately trying to seduce me, every time she would run her long fingertips up and down my arm. I couldn't help the bile rise to my throat. My wolf would grow in anger at the audacity of the she-wolf trying to be with someone who wasn't his mate. He couldn't understand how she could betray her true mate. It was the one thing I had learned about my wolf. He was loyal and dedicated to Leyla. He displayed traits which were completely opposite to me.
Trying to evade Elisha was becoming more and more difficult each day. She was determined to have me. No matter what I tried, no matter how dismissive I was she was still adamant of sharing my space. Following me, like she was some lost pup. My wolf growled that she wasn't a lost puppy but more of a leech sucking the life out of us. I eventually came up with the excuse and lie that I wanted to be worthy of her and I wanted to wait till the full moon when we marked and mated.
My wolf only became agitated at my words and angry at her happiness when I confirmed I would mark her. It was only when I explained I was keeping appearances that he was appeased by my answer. He heard the sincerity of my promise that I wouldn't mate her. He understood I was willing to do anything to get Leyla back.
I have sat in the gardens where I would often find Leyla when she stayed at the pack house. Hoping to catch a glimpse of her scent that mixed with the wildflowers but it was only wishful thinking. I pondered to myself, where did I go wrong in my life? How did I get to this point? How did I create the distance and space with my mate?
It wasn't just me that had changed but my mother was a completely different entity. She was more cold and callous. She was like a Sargent preparing for a war. The palace was littered with guards, there was more training and more meetings. She was a control freak. Part of me questioned whether this was a reaction to my father being missing but all my wolf did was scoff. He was adamant that she was always like this.
The meetings she had, she never let me attend which puzzled me. She would emphasis that it wasn't my fight and would dismiss me at every chance. I was angered by her actions, she was already undermining as future King. Shouldn't we know what is being planned? Her excuse was that she wanted me to focus on my relationship with Elisha. She would give me this disapproving look and tell me that I needed to make it up to my betrayed mate.
Again, all Reginald did was scoff at her words. Reginald was so defensive and he expressed that she was up to something. Before I would have told him he was overthinking or I would defend her, however as more time went by the more I believed what he said was true. Reginald's energy and traits began to flow through me, he was paranoid but equally he was more protective of the wolves in his Kingdom.
He allowed me to gain new perspective. For years I had surrounded myself around higher ranked members, never even glancing at an omega. I had realised I had disassociated with my pack. Where Reginald was warm, I was cold. Where he showed humanity, I showed none. I was a terrible Alpha to be, so how was I even meant to be King.
Over the last week, my wolf had become less aggressive towards me. He noticed the change in my personality, so he became more passive aggressive. I can't say that I don't deserve it, he is my conscience. The only issue is he is adamant that I do not show these changes to anyone. He advises me to hide my good intentions from the people that I trusted for it would only create more problems. So I do what he says, I trust him to lead me on the path that is right.
"Ryan!" A high pitched voice comes from behind me. I groan, how come I never found her voice so irritating before. I look around the gardens hoping to find an escape, only to come up short. I turn towards the voice and plaster the fakest smile I can muster.
There she is. The bane of my existence. Elisha. She is in her statement emerald dress that is anything but conservative. The guards all look at her in lust and I see the twinkle in her eye. She revels in their attention, there is an extra spring in her step, an extra swing in her hips. All it does is make her exposed assets bounce and it creates an unpleasant smell of arousal in the air from the unmated males in the air.
"Elisha, love." I bite my tongue holding back the grit of my teeth.
Gag. Reginald scolds in the back of my mind.
Shut up. I know. You can feel my sickness and I can feel yours too Reggie. I retort.
It's Reginald to you. At least until you prove yourself. Now get this she-bitch away from me. He growled.
"I've not seen you about my darling." She says in a sickly sweet tone that does nothing but make me shiver in response. She grasps my forearm gently, clinging to my skin like a bad smell.
"I'm sorry, I've been distracted. You know with my father missing, I'm worried." I reply. Her touch makes me want to recoil that I close my eyes hoping she mistakes my intentions.
"Of course darling, everyone is worried. He is your father after all." She gives me a small sympathetic smile.
"Thank you for being understanding." I nod my head.
"Darling you should share your worries. Your worries are my worries, we will be marked and mated by full moon my love. I will be your Queen, I want to ease your burdens. In any way you need." She purrs seductively. He hand grazing my arm gently.
Rip her hand away, before I do something we both regret. Reginald growls. I can feel the prickle of pain across my skin as she touches me. I pull my arm back and grab her by the shoulders and stare into her eyes.
Her eyes are dull. There is nothing exciting and warm about them. It's almost like I can see the clogs clicking behind her eyes. The once emerald eyes that I used to stare at lovingly are almost boring. There is no spark of fire in them like I see in Leyla's. The more I look at her, the more I realise that what I felt for her held no candle to what I felt with my true mate.
"Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you."
You would be happy with your true mate and I would have thrown her off the building. Reginald interrupts.
Shut up will ya'?! I am trying to remain inconspicuous like you told me to. Unfortunately keeping up this facade is part of it! Or would you like me to tell her to fuck off and my mother ask questions. I exclaimed.
Just get her away. Do what you must, with minimal contact please. He huffed in response.
"Honestly, I do not deserve you."
Gag. Again. Regain chokes in the back of my mind.
"I need to be worthy of you."
I am going to be sick. Reginald says as he mimics the act of throwing up.
"I am taking a vow of abstinence, as penance of my betrayal."
So filled with bullshit. I don't know whether to proud or disgusted in you. Reginald responds.
"By the time with are mated and marked by love. I will prove to you my true intentions."
A lie and a truth? Is the she-bitch biting? Reginald asks.
"I vow to be loyal, true and worthy of my true mate, my true queen. I promise you." I finish with a slight caress of Elisha's cheek.
That promise better be about Leyla! He growled.
Elisha looks at me and assesses my gaze. As I look her, I have to flash images of Leyla through my mind. Hoping that she feels the love, she feels nothing but honest intentions. I can't let her catch on that I found my true mate. Leyla's smiling face at the forefront of my mind is all I have for this to be convincing. Elisha gives me her biggest grin and embraces me in a hug. She holds me tightly and it feels like she is sucking the oxygen out of my lungs.
Hook, line and sinker. Well done human. She brought it. Reginald laughs.
"Oh Ryan! I can see you are trying and that's all I can ask. As much as I wanted that bitch punished. I'm glad she is out of our lives. It's for the best. We can hopeful move on with our happily ever after." Elisha sighs into my ear.
Retreat before I punch this she-bitch from speaking about our mate like that. Reginald growls.
I pull back and return to holding her shoulders as I give her a smile. "Of course. We will get the happily ever after we deserve." I reply. All I can think of is Leyla and me living happily with a few pups running around.
Mincing your words. I like it. Now go. Reginald closes his connection with me off.
"Now love, why don't you go find your ceremony dress while I prepare a surprise for you." I smile thinking of nothing but finding a new way to make her life as miserable as she is making mine.
She squeals. "That's a great idea darling. I'll go find mom and ask her to accompany me!"
"Great idea, I want it to be a surprise." I respond as she gives me a quick peck on the cheek.
"Your so sweet! I'll see you later darling, I love you!" She responds as she turns away.
"You too." I finish hoping she can't hear the sarcasm in my voice.
I watch her as she walks away, again the confidence in her stride is unwavering as she quickly trots away from the gardens to the pack house. Once I see her out of sight, I slump my shoulders in relief.
Thank god she's gone. I sigh.
Reginald doesn't respond. All I can feel is his irritation at Elisha's presence in our life. The remorse for what I have done to my wolf is unfathomable, I can't imagine his pain at the separation from his mate and all I can do is hope and pray for Leyla and Amira's safety. The more my thoughts linger on them, the bigger the ache and pain in my chest. I close my eyes, begging for someone to give me answers to help me understand what went wrong but all I hear is the whistle in the wind.
It's then that I feel a warmth wrap around me, I close my eyes and relish in it. What is this feeling? What is going on with me? A faint smell lingers in the air and my nostrils flare. I can feel Reginald's power through our re-establish bond telling me to follow it.
I push through the gardens and the grounds that were once filled with guards are now empty. There not a single soul present. I can't sense the presence of anyone here which is unusual and confusing because my mother hasn't allowed the pack house to be unguarded since the disappearance of my father.
I follow the trail of the scent and it takes me to the far right side of the Royal Quarters, I can't see anyone or anything different as I scout my surroundings. There is nothing new or different but the trail stops at the brick wall. My head tilts trying to see whether there is something I am missing, there is no window or door but something tells me that I am missing something.
That's because you are. Reginald states.
Do you want to help me or not? I snappily ask.
Reginald huffs. Let me take control.
All I can do is push myself to the back of my mind and allow Reginald to take the reigns. It's the first time that I have ever done this. I can feel the nerves in the back of mind not knowing how in control Reginald is. I fear he will lose control and get angry but I know that I have no choice but to trust in my re-established bond with my wolf.
Reginald's power becomes overwhelming, he scouts his surroundings he is hyper-sensitive to the slightest noise and change in the balance. He looks at the plain brick wall in front of us and pushes my palm across each brick. I can feel his determination to push forward as he seeks for something beyond the eye. It's then that he feels a loose brick at the bottom and he uses his hand to push it forward. It's then that a small gap at the bottom of the wall is revealed.
No light can be seen as Reginald peers through. Our nostrils flare and the scent that we caught has gotten stronger. The gap isn't big enough for us to walk through so Reginald falls to his knees and begins to crawl through the small gap of the house.
Where the hell are we going? I ask
I don't know for sure but do remember being a pup and father speaking about the secret passage ways? Reginald responds.
I think so. He said Grandma was obsessed with them. Remembering a time when father used to tell me that there were secret tunnels that became lost because of her death. Father said that Grandma was the only one who knew where they led because Grandpa didn't care for them.
Well I think that's what this is. So shut up and let's see where it leads. Reginald says as we start to army crawl through the gap.
The air is suffocating, there is nothing fresh that lingers in this pass away. I can smell the dirt and dust that lingers on the floor and walls. The darkness becomes consuming and its then that I feel Reginald focus his eyes. He utilises his wolf senses and our eyesight focuses on the surroundings in the dingy hallway. There is no smell, the scent has disappeared and I hear Reginald's growl resonate.
It's then that we hear an echo of voices through the walls. Reginald focuses on the voices and starts to creep silently through the darkness. The echo becomes louder and clear as he takes large but silent strides through the hall. The voices that were once muffled now sound like they are on acoustics. Loudly filling the air around us.
"... Are you sure he's not aware?" A familiar voice speaks. The hairs on the back of my neck begins to stand. There is nothing in which we can see who is speaking, but their voice is deep and recognisable. I just can't register where I've heard it before.
"My nephew is still obvious, you have nothing to worry about. He is still in awe of the young she-wolf. Who can blame him? Elisha is exquisite." Uncle Marcus replies. What the hell is my uncle talking about? Surely he wouldn't betray my father like this. He's his Beta!
"He's right. My son is no danger. He is doing what is needed. He has confirmed that he will be mating with Elisha on the next full moon. He is not something we need to worry about. He won't want to disappoint me. My son is spineless, he won't mate with his true mate." My mother dismisses.
I can't help but feel shocked at my mother's words. How can she plot like this? I trusted her, I thought she wanted me to mate with Elisha because she is my true mate. I thought she was disappointed because I betrayed my true mate. I can't help but feel like a fool and disappointed in what she is doing. I don't want to cry, but how can she think of me like that? What has she gotten involved with?
Still think mommy dearest is innocent? Reginald scoffs. I can't help but feel the dryness in the back of my throat at Reginald's words. There is nothing I can say because he was right, my mother was behind something sinister.
"Have we established who his true mate is? Has it been revealed? Is it that little she-wolf that escaped?" The deep voice asks.
"No I don't believe she is. I think she was just an opportunist. Even so, he wouldn't know if she was his true mate if it hit him in the face" My mother scoffed. "The remedy worked years ago and like my brother said he thinks Elisha is his true mate. It's too late for him." She finishes speaking.
"Excellent, our tests were successful then. The union between the Nightingale Pack and Royal Pack will ensure our success in the upcoming war." The dark voice replies.
"Indeed it will but there is still the slight problem that we are missing the King." Uncle Marcus taunts.
"He will be found, he will come back and running back. He always does. It is a mere complication." My mother dismisses.
"Lamia, it is not a mere complication. As much as you want to want to say he was kidnapped, he walked out willingly. He looked more than happy to walk into Alpha Reapers open arms." Uncle Marcus responds.
"He did not! He was tricked by that she-bitch! I have had him under my control for years! It hasn't stopped now! Mark my words brother" Mother spits at him.
"Quiet!" The deep voice commands. "Lamia, calm yourself. Alpha Reaper previously raided one of our labs, it is possible that they found our remedy for creating an imitation of the mate bond and used it on the King. That is why it is imperative that we focus our efforts in finding the King. It is a wildcard we can't afford to throw into the war." He finishes.
"What do you suggest we do?" Marcus questions.
"Find him, dead or alive. It does not matter anymore, as long as he is not against us." The deep voice explains.
"Are you suggesting we kill the King?" Uncle Marcus teases.
"Like I said. I don't care. He just needs to be out of the clutches of Alpha Reaper." The deep voice states. Silence fills the air, I feel Reginald trying to halter our breathing and mask our scent so we are not discovered.
"Very well." My mother sighs. "Do we know anything more about Alpha Reaper and the Mallapers now that they have made their presence aware?"
"No, but that is not for you worry about." He explained. "All your focus needs to be on finding the King. If he is a risk to our plans, you kill him. Do you understand?"
"Yes." Uncle Marcus and my mother responds.
"Excellent. I will take my leave. I will not tolerate failure." The deep voice warns dangerously.
My heart is pounding, what the hell were they talking about? What remedy was used on me successfully? Why was my mother so sure that it would work in stopping me finding my true mate? My mind was racing with a million thoughts at a speed that I could not even comprehend. Reginald was silent but I could feel him seething underneath the surface. There was only one question that dominated my mind.
Who the hell was my mother?