Author's Note: CW for this chapter: Mentions of birth and hospitals. I kept the birth details to the absolute minimum as far as that stuff goes, but it's still there. I said no babies when I originally started this fic, but I was a different person then – and I had no idea where this story was going to go.
Two years later
Bucky is freaking out.
Freaking out is actually an understatement. He's been prepared for all kinds of scenarios, but the birth of his child is something else entirely. She's been in labor for twelve hours now. Six of those, she was by herself. He was on a mission with Sam. He's still in the gear that Shuri made for him. A black and gold armored motorcycle jacket with matching pants and boots. He finally got to test it out over the past few days after just staring at it hanging on their wall for six months. Of course, he would have a mission at the tail end of Shannon's pregnancy. He should have been here.
Bucky takes a deep breath, wringing his hands. Did he mention that he was freaking the fuck out?
As Shannon is breathing while a nurse checks her vitals, Bucky paces around the hospital room. He needs a distraction. Anything. His eyes land on a cabinet with a broken door. He fiddles with it.
"What are you doing?" Shannon asks, breathing deeply in between each word.
"This is busted," he tells her.
"Mr. Barnes, just leave it," the nurse orders.
"I can fix it. It just needs to be shoved back into place."
He grabs the door and pops it back into the hinge. He hears Shannon sigh.
"What?" He asks.
"Is this what you're doing?" She asks with a smirk. "I'm in labor and you're fixing doors?"
The nurse just laughs at him and looks over at Shannon.
"Sweetheart, when men don't know what to do in these situations, they do what they can."
"I resent that," Bucky retorts, crossing his arms over his chest.
Shannon laughs.
"You're in dad mode already." She looks over at the nurse. "You know, he checked the thermostat when we got in here?"
The nurse stifles a giggle, and Bucky shrugs.
"I just wanted to make sure she would be comfortable."
"I told you he was a sweetheart," Shannon tells her.
The nurse smiles and walks toward the door, patting him gently on the shoulder.
"Mr. Barnes, why don't you hold your wife's hand and time her contractions? The doctor and I will be back in a few minutes to check on you. If you need anything, hit the call button."
He nods and sits beside Shannon, holding her hand.
"You're losing it, buddy," she laughs.
"I know. I'm scared."
"You're scared?! I have to push this kid out of me." She sighs. "It's fair to be scared though."
He smiles.
"Damn right."
He times her contractions on his phone, thinking that it'll be a while before things start to get crazy. Holy shit is he ever wrong! Within half an hour, she's screaming, sweating, and the doctors and nurses are flooding the hospital room. Bucky doesn't know what to do. He paces and touches her shoulder. He whispers in her ear. The whole process seems to take forever, yet no time at all. And the whole time, his entire body is rushing with adrenaline.
Bucky leans down and kisses the top of Shannon's head as she screams.
"You've got this, Shan. You've got this."
"I DON'T!" She shrieks. It's venomous, desperate, and coursing with pain. Bucky reaches over to kiss her damp forehead.
"You do."
She whimpers.
"Come on, mama!" The doctor urges gently. "One more push!"
Shannon's howl of pain almost shakes the walls of the hospital room. Her exhausted body trembles beneath Bucky's touch. His hands are gentle, stroking her and pushing her hair out of her eyes. Through a slew of curse words, she apologizes and reminds him that she loves him. Bucky chuckles.
"I know you do. I love you too."
The nurses' shoulders shake with laughter as Bucky grins at them. Shannon doesn't even notice. Her face is bright red and twisted into a concentrated grimace. Tears leak from her eyes. Bucky wipes them away with one hand as he whispers in her ear.
"One more, Shan. Come on, doll. You can do this."
She leans forward and screams like he's never heard her scream before. It pierces his eardrums and he tries to take a step back, but he's stuck. She's got a death grip on him. Her fingers threaten to crush his vibranium hand -- or her own. Bucky watches her grip to make sure she's not snapping bones, although right now he's not sure that she would notice.
The next thing he hears is silence, followed by the sound of a baby crying and the doctors and nurses laughing and sighing with relief. His heart stops. Everything they've been through, every awkward text, weird date, every fight, and every minute of distance between one another has all lead to this moment. When Sam downloaded that app for him, Bucky never expected to find love - much less a wife and a family. The doctor looks up at him.
"Congratulations, papa. It's a beautiful little boy."
Bucky is numb, yet he's got more adrenaline pumping through him than he's ever had before. He nods wordlessly as he watches the doctors and nurses put the baby immediately on Shannon's chest. He read about this in one of the hundred baby books that Sam bought for both of them. Bonding skin to skin is critical for the first few minutes of the baby's life. Shannon cradles the child without question like she's been doing this her entire life. Her shaky arms wrap around the baby as she coos at him in between quiet, soft sobs. Happy tears. He can tell the difference now.
In that moment, Bucky watches as the woman he loves the most in the world changes right before his eyes and becomes a mother. The nurses wipe down the baby, clamp the umbilical cord, and wrap him in a soft blanket before placing him back on Shannon's chest. She thanks them as they congratulate her and coo softly at the baby. Shannon looks up at him, beaming.
"You wanna hold him, Buck?"
"Yeah," he whispers through tears.
Gingerly, she places the baby in his arms. It feels strange to hold something so small, it feels even more strange to know that he created something so fragile and so beautiful. He never thought he was capable of creating anything positive after so many years of being trained to destroy, leaving people and places in ruins in his wake. This is a chance for him to start over. He never got to be there for Rebecca or his niece, but he'll make damn sure he's there for this little boy. Bucky looks down at the baby squirming against him.
"Hey, little guy." Tears spill down his cheeks. "I'm your dad."
Shannon is dripping with sweat, her hair matted to her forehead. She reaches for his hand and kisses it softly, weeping against his skin. Both of them are overcome with relief and emotion. Her pregnancy was difficult. Apparently, on account of the serum. Shannon was sick every day up until she was seven months pregnant, and at one point early in her pregnancy, the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat on the doppler. Bucky and Shannon sat, paralyzed with fear, preparing for the worst, but after a few minutes of searching, the doctor gave them a big smile and said: "Sometimes they scare you."
The serum had partially transferred to his unborn child. Shannon was sleeping almost 23 hours a day and she had to be carried down to the car to go to doctor's appointments - yet, her weight, appetite, and vitals were all normal. Still, it felt like his wife was slipping away from him. The baby was growing faster than expected. The doctors thought that something was wrong until Bucky explained to them who he was and offered their OBGYN a small file that he and compiled of everything that HYDRA did to him. He couldn't afford to keep secrets when the lives of his wife and child were on the line.
Bucky did everything he could to keep Shannon comfortable and happy for nine months. He was pretty successful. She was bedridden for the last two months of her pregnancy, and they made the most of it. They laid in bed with Ace and Alpine eating ice cream, cake, and pizza while watching terrible horror movies. Bucky made sure that the house was clean, their bills were paid, and neighbors came over to bring gifts and meals for the family. On their wedding day, he promised her that he would take care of her. Always. He's never wavered from that vow.
"You did it," he whispers.
"We did it," she reminds him. "You helped make this kid."
"You did all the work," he chuckles. "I'm so proud of you, Shannon."
She sniffles and chokes. She's the strongest, most powerful thing he's ever seen in his hundred years on this planet - the epitome of ferocity and love. Shannon reaches up with shaky hands.
"God, Bucky, he's so beautiful."
"What do you want to name him?"
They never discussed a name prior to this. Shannon said she wanted to wing it based on what the baby looked like. He has a full head of strawberry blonde hair that's only a little darker than his mother's and Bucky's steel blue eyes. Bucky had a few names running through his head, but none of them seem to fit now that he's staring at the little boy in his arms. She looks up through a tear-streaked face and smiles.
"What about Samuel?"
Bucky's heart lodges itself in his throat. He smiles.
"I like it."
"And I was thinking Steven for a middle name."
"Samuel Steven Barnes," he whispers. "It's perfect."
The doctor and nurses clean up around them, changing the linen on the bed and getting rid of the blood-stained sheets and towels. Bucky grabs Shannon a blanket to put over her and give the baby some extra warmth. He goes to pull up a chair, but Shannon scoots over, encouraging him to climb onto the bed with her. The doctor puts a hand on Bucky's shoulder.
"Do you guys want to see family and friends?"
"Yes," Shannon laughs. "My mom is probably chomping at the bit to meet this kid."
The doctor laughs.
"I'll go get them. You guys will have about half an hour and then I'll have to take this little guy away to have a physical and give him a vitamin K injection."
"What does that do?" Bucky asks.
"Sometimes newborns are deficient in vitamin K and it can lead to internal bleeding. We just want him to be strong and healthy with no complications."
Bucky nods and puts his head on Shannon's shoulders.
"I can't believe we made him," he breathes.
She laughs, the same laugh that she had on their first date.
"I know!"
"Knock knock!" Sam whispers as he pokes his head in. He's still in his Captain America suit, but his goggles hang from his left hand. Janice, George, Rebecca, and Tess aren't far behind him. Shannon was right, Janice looks absolutely desperate to hold her new grandson.
"Come on in," Shannon laughs.
"Let me hold this little angel!" Janice whispers as she rushes toward them.
Shannon lifts the baby to her and takes a deep breath. Janice cries softly, cooing and kissing the child as she cradles him gently, tears spilling down her cheeks.
"He's beautiful, Shan. What's his name?"
Bucky grins.
"Samuel Steven Barnes."
Sam's eyes bulge out of his head, and he clutches his chest.
"You named him after me?!"
Shannon smiles.
"Well, we have to name our kid after both Captain Americas."
Tears form in Sam's eyes, and he quickly wipes them away.
"I wanna supervise Bucky signing that birth certificate," he says.
Everyone in the room laughs while Bucky rolls his eyes. Three years of friendship and they still can't go a second without arguing.
"I'm not gonna change it!" Bucky protests. "What kind of monster do you think I am?!"
"I don't think you're a monster, I just want to see it in writing."
Shannon chuckles.
"We'll mail you a copy, Sam. You can frame it."
"Damn right."
Janice gives Samuel back to Shannon, who looks over at George.
"You wanna hold him, daddy?"
George nods. He's been slipping away more and more lately, but today is a good day. Shannon hands him the baby and he bursts into tears. Shannon begins to cry into her hands as Bucky rubs her back. She blames it on the flood of hormones, but Bucky knows the truth. They didn't think that George would hang on long enough to see the birth of his grandson. This moment means the world to both of them.
"I'm your grandpa," George whispers to the baby as he rocks him gently from side to side. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Samuel."
Janice is toast. A sobbing mess. Everyone in the room is. Including Bucky. Sam wraps her in a tight hug while Rebecca and Tess stare at Bucky, tears streaming down their cheeks. He wants to say so much, and yet, he has no idea what the hell to say.
They pass Samuel around a few more times, everyone showering him with kisses and gentle words of affection before the doctor steps back inside and knocks on the door.
"Folks, I think mom and dad need their rest. I'm going to take Samuel to the nursery so that the nurses can do an exam. You're free to follow me if you'd like."
Bucky gives them a gentle nod of encouragement to follow while Shannon scoots over and gives him some room to lie down in the hospital bed with her. He holds her against his chest, sighing softly.
As their family and friends file out the door and the doctor takes little Samuel away for an exam, Bucky and Shannon stare at each other. She reaches up and strokes his stubble, her wedding ring glistening in the harsh fluorescent light.
"Bucky?" She whispers.
"Yeah."
"What the fuck are we going to do now?"
He laughs harder than he's laughed in years and grabs her face, kissing her softly. Bucky stares into those beautiful hazel eyes that have been his safety net for what feels like forever. He runs his thumb over her bottom lip.
"We'll figure it out. We always do."
One swipe on her photo changed his life completely. He had no idea that he would be meeting his soulmate through a little tiny computer. He's done a lot of the work himself, but he can't take all of the credit. Being with her has shifted something in him. Forever. There's no turning back, and he would never want to. Dr. Raynor's words echo in his mind.
"If you are alone, that is the quietest, most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape."
But he has escaped. He's done what felt impossible to do, even with all of his strength. He scaled an insurmountable mountain of grief, and pain, and trauma - but he didn't do it alone.
He feels ready to live the rest of his life in a quiet house on the water with his wife, son, and their two weird little animals. They'll raise a strong, sensitive boy and a good man.
This will be his legacy.
If Steve could see him right now, he'd be so goddamn proud.
"Everything that you love, you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form." - May Benatar
The End.