Part 21: Dumpster Diving

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Bucky isn't entirely sold on Dr. Raynor's plans for him to make amends. He has three rules. Don't do anything illegal, nobody gets hurt, and he HAS to say the words: "I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James Bucky Barnes, and you're part of my efforts to make amends." She tells him that the third rule is mostly for him, to remember who he was before HYDRA and the serum, but it's also to alleviate their fears and concerns. He thinks it's a dumb rule that's just a placeholder for a genuine apology, but at this point, he doesn't know if he could apologize to some of them in the way that he wants to. Parts of himself are still so closed off. He's afraid. Afraid of their reaction, afraid to face himself, afraid to come to terms with everything that he's done.

She told him to start with a list of people he had wronged. He puts Yori's name at the top. It's the one that hurts the most. The kid was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he hadn't made a noise — Bucky sighs, trying to push the memory out of his mind. It's too much right now. He has to go and have lunch with Yori and Sam... and try not to think about that list. He turns down an alleyway. As he's walking, he reaches into his pocket for his headphones and his Tinder phone. They're in a knot. Bucky curses softly under his breath and as he goes to untie them, he hears a small, soft meowing coming from underneath a dumpster. Bucky shoves the headphones and phone into his pocket and gets down on all fours. When he looks underneath the dumpster, he sees a small white kitten with bright blue eyes staring back at him.

"Hi," he says softly, reaching his hand out. "Come here, little one. I won't hurt you."

The kitten meows. Its paws are dirty from the pavement. He sees ribs sticking out from beneath its fur. The kitten doesn't move. Neither does Bucky.

"I can do this all day."

The kitten seems to study him, sussing out whether or not it can trust him. He can relate to that. Big time. Bucky breathes softly and wiggles his fingers. After a few minutes, it walks forward, inching out from underneath the dumpster. Bucky snatches it up and crawls to his feet, covered in dirt and a bunch of other fluids that he doesn't want to think about. The kitten meows - it's so small in his giant hands. Bucky feels his throat get tight. He thinks about how scary it must have been to be all alone in this giant city. In a way, he relates.

"Have you been on your own all this time?" He asks.

He holds it up, examining it. No collar, no tattoos. It doesn't appear to be bleeding or hurt in any way. He smiles.

"You wanna come to lunch? You must be starving."

The kitten meows again and he tucks it into his jacket. He pulls out his Tinder phone and sends Shannon a message.

Found a kitten. Might keep it.

Ding! He snickers at her reply.

Omg. Really?! Can I see a picture?

Bucky opens his jacket. The kitten is already asleep against him. He snaps a photo and sends it to Shannon.

You have to keep it. Look at that face!

I thought the same thing.

I'll set up a vet appointment with Ace's doctor. Probably needs shots and stuff.

That's a thing?

Definitely! Gotta make sure they're healthy! Have you decided on a name?

Not yet. I'm open to suggestions. Except for Snowball. Every white cat is named Snowball.

Lol! Are you open to snow-themed names?

Depends on how cheesy they are.

LOL! Okay, appointment is tomorrow. 2pm. Want me to come with you?

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