She's sitting on the floor of the living room while Bucky sits cross-legged on the couch. The remnants of their dinner sits on the dining room table. Bucky's fingers graze the wound as gently as possible. Ace sits beside him, ever watchful and curious. He gives the dog a gentle scratch underneath his chin with his metal hand. Ace sniffs at his glove and whines softly before flopping back down onto the couch, resting his head against Bucky's thigh.
"It doesn't look too bad," he says. "It's actually starting to heal up. A few more days and I can take the stitches out for you."
"Is my head injury getting me a fifth date?" Shannon asks.
"It would seem that way," he replies.
Shannon stands up and pads over to the record player that sits in the corner. The needle drops and he recognizes the song. Etta James, Sunday Kind of Love. On their first official date, which was lunch near her work, he told her he liked this song. Sam gave him this record, along with a huge pile of them that he's slowly making his way through - plus the songs and albums that Steve wrote in his notebook. It helps him feel closer to his best friend. They really didn't get enough time.
Bucky likes the albums Sam gave him, but he prefers the music he grew up listening to. And 40's music. It's comforting, it feels like home. It reminds him of a different time. Before HYDRA, before memory wipes, assassinations, and a list of names he has only recently begun to remember thanks to the Wakandans. He owes them everything for saving his life, for giving him some peace. Wakanda was the first time in his life he had felt truly calm and collected. He loves Brooklyn, but this Brooklyn is different than the one he remembers. It's so much faster and louder. Chaotic. He can't keep up with it ninety-nine percent of the time. The world has changed so much and Bucky just feels lost in it. He's not sure he'll ever truly adjust.
Bucky smiles.
"You remembered."
"Of course I did! And then I made a very disgruntled teenager track it down for me at the record store."
"I'm sure he loved that."
"Yeah, he called it old people music. Which I took offense to on your behalf."
He chuckles.
"Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate that."
She holds her hand out and Bucky raises his eyebrows.
"You dance?"
"Badly," Shannon laughs. "Do you?"
"I used to. Haven't in a long time."
"It's probably like riding a bike."
She's got a point. Bucky stands and takes her hand.
"Here. I'll lead."
"Good," Shannon replies. "Because I don't know what I'm doing."
"It's okay."
He closes the gap between them and lifts his right hand. Shannon takes it while his metal arm wraps around her, just above her waist. Her free hand rests on his shoulder. He pulls her gently toward him so that they're as close as they can get without tripping over one another. Shannon smiles up at him and Bucky takes a deep breath. He's pretty sure he remembers how to do this. It can't be that hard. He used to dance all the time before he was deployed. Swing and Lindy Hop were the ones he was the best at. There were nights where he could have danced until the sun came up if he were able to. Bucky looks down at her.
"Just follow my lead. When I go back, you go forward, and vice versa."
"I'm scared I'm going to trip over you," she giggles.
"You won't. I've got you."
He moves slowly so that she can catch on to what he's doing and follow along. Bucky can feel it starting to come back and resists the urge to dip her or spin her. Her heels look a little unsteady and he doesn't want her to trip. Shannon rests her head on his chest and he hears Ace jump off of the couch and trot into the bedroom, probably looking for a quieter place to sleep.
"This is nice. I didn't know dancing could be this calming."
"What kind of dancing are you used to?" He asks.
"Oh, you know, the kind where you jump around like an idiot throwing your hands in the air."
"I'm too old for that stuff," Bucky laughs.
"Aren't you like 33?"
Bucky panics, quickly trying to do the math. What did Sam put down for his age again? Just go with it, he thinks to himself. He nods.
"Yeah."
She giggles.
"So, you're not old."
"I am old-fashioned."
"That just makes you more charming," Shannon replies.
Bucky grins and brushes her hair out of her face.
"Where'd you grow up?" She asks.
"Here. Brooklyn, specifically. You?"
"Kansas," she replies.
"Wow. What made you come out to New York?"
"I wanted to be a rock star," she confesses.
"A rock star?"
"Yeah. I came here with $14 in my bank account. My car broke down just as I got into New York. I had no instruments, no connections to anyone in the music industry. I was just a 20-year-old idiot with a big dream."
"Do you sing?" Bucky asks.
"This is the crazy part, I'm not musically talented at all. I can't even play the tambourine."
Bucky laughs.
"What made you think you could be a musician?"
"I don't know!" She exclaims. "That's why I was so stupid! I guess I thought I could be like Sid Vicious or something. Except for the whole heroin thing."
He stares at her with a blank expression. Shannon raises an eyebrow.
"Sid Vicious was the bassist for The Sex Pistols."
Bucky shakes his head.
"You don't know who the Sex Pistols are?!"
"Are they important?"
"Yeah. They're not that great, though — anyway, Sid Vicious was a horrible bass player. They just picked him because he had this real fuck you punk rock attitude and I guess it was good for the band's image."
"Do you have a 'fuck you, punk rock' attitude?"
"You've met me, right?" she laughs.
"True. You're sweet."
She blushes.
"I abandoned the rock star dream pretty fast when I got hired at an accounting firm. I was bad at music, but good at math. I hated it, though."
"What made you want to be a chef?"
"I've always really loved cooking. Ever since I was a kid. It was a way for me to show people I cared about them. It was fun, it was creative, I could make mistakes and it was okay. You don't get many do-overs in life, but with food, I could always start over and do it better the next time." She takes a deep breath. "Will wasn't very adventurous. He's sweet, but we just didn't connect anymore. Not like we used to. I think I wanted a way out at the end, even before everyone disappeared. The snap gave me an actual do-over. I put myself through culinary school for a year and got a job at a very fancy French restaurant. Every day is different."
"And you're happy?"
"Here with you? Dancing in my living room? Yeah."
The back of his neck heats up again, the blush creeping into his jawline.
"I meant in general," Bucky whispers.
"I am."
"What about you?" She asks. "I've talked a lot. Tell me about you."
Bucky feels his throat tighten.
"What about me?"
"What did you want to be when you were a kid?"
He thinks for a second. The answer comes so easily.
"A hero."
"Like a superhero?"
It's complicated.
"Sort of. My dad was in the army. He died when I was a kid. I always wanted to be like him. Serve my country and all that."
"I'm sorry. About your dad."
"It's okay. It was a long time ago."
"Is that why you enlisted?"
"Yeah. I wanted the glory, the rush, the honor..." He pauses and grins. "The girls."
Shannon smiles and reaches up to touch his face.
"I bet they threw themselves at you."
The song ends and Bucky steps back, his hand clinging to hers. He brings her knuckles to his lips and kisses them gently. Shannon giggles.
"You have to stop being so charming," she warns him.
He can't help the mysterious twinkle in his eye.
"Why's that?"
"Because a girl could really fall for you if you keep this up."
Bucky feels a surge of adrenaline. The blush on her cheeks and her dilated pupils give him the boost of confidence he needs. Or maybe it was the dance and the chance to relive a part of himself that he thought was long gone. He only gets to experience who he used to be in beats and breaths. Otherwise, it's a long road to full recovery. The memories of his sins can quickly outweigh the good he's done. He's trying. This is helping. Bucky pulls her close again so that her body is flush with his and kisses her passionately. Shannon squeaks and wraps her arms around his neck. They turn and tumble backward onto the couch. Shannon straddles him and breaks the kiss.
"Wow."
"You good?" He asks.
She nods and captures his lips again. Bucky pushes the nervousness out of his body, the same way he used to do when he prepared for a fight. Shannon is something safe, something normal. It makes him feel free. Maybe being a civilian isn't so bad. He buries his hands in her hair as she claws gently at his chest. She pulls away again, her lips swollen and plump. He tastes her lipgloss. Strawberries and vanilla.
"Are you good?" She asks.
He takes a deep breath.
"I'm not quite ready for that."
The last time he was this close to someone, he was sticking a blade through their heart. Gentleness takes time, but he's working on it. He doesn't have to step out of every comfort zone all at once.
"Understood," she whispers. "Baby steps, yeah?"
"Yeah."
Bucky reaches back and unzips her dress, pushing the sleeves down to reveal a lacy, lavender bra. Shannon gasps and chuckles, her voice raspy and low.
"Baby steps," he whispers. "Over the clothes. Sort of..."
Shannon nods and he finds himself incredibly grateful for her understanding nature. Skin-to-skin contact is just a little too much right now. Too many scars and metal parts to explain. He's coming to the realization that he's going to have to show her his arm sooner rather than later.
Bucky pulls down the straps of her bra as Shannon reaches behind and unclasps it. She slides her arms through the sleeves of her dress and tosses the bra behind her. His heart races and his breath catches in his throat as he looks at her exposed chest for the first time. Shannon is biting her lip and her eyes search his for approval. Bucky gives her a warm smile and runs his thumb across her nipple, twisting it lightly. The action is met with a shiver and she dips her head to kiss him. His mouth opens and he finds himself wanting to devour her. Shannon's hips grind down against his hardness, clearly aching for some kind of friction and release. He's more than happy to oblige her. Bucky rolls his pelvis slightly to meet hers. She lets out a loud moan that sends a warm tingle down his spine. The friction feels good. Really good. He wants more. Shannon sighs softly, happily. It makes him smile and she giggles against him. With pleading fingers, he pulls her skirt up so that it sits just above her hips to give her better access and range of motion.
Google told him to take his time with this stuff, to never be selfish. It seems to be working. Maybe he can trust that stupid website after all.
His metal arm lingers in her hair, twirling it between his fingers as he slides his other hand back up to cup her breast. Her tongue slides against his and Bucky grabs her hips, moving them back and forth so along his hardness. He can feel her wetness beginning to soak through his jeans. Every time she grinds down harder against him, he feels jolts of electricity running through his veins. Shannon throws her head back and mewls. Bucky groans, watching her exposed throat and her gorgeous breasts. His eyes roll backward. He feels like he might explode at any second as he remembers that the only thing keeping them apart is approximately three layers of fabric. He wants to say "fuck it" and feel her around him as he holds her in his arms. He wants her quivering and moaning his name.
But that's a huge risk. He could lose this so easily.
Baby steps.
"James," she sobs. "Oh, God... James."
He can feel her thighs beginning to shake. His own release isn't far away. He should have brought a change of clothes.
"Shannon," he groans. "Shit..."
Her head snaps up, but her hips don't stop. In fact, she moves them faster. Harder. Her chest is pink and splotchy and he can see small beads of sweat beginning to form on her forehead.
"Are you?" She asks.
"Yeah. You?"
She nods. Her arms wrap around the back of his neck and she presses her forehead to his. Their eyes lock and he can feel himself reaching his peak as she moves her head to the side and moans into his ear. Her lips touch a sweet spot on his neck and she begins to suck softly at the skin. Bucky's hips roll forward in reply and he gasps. The release feels more like an explosion and his body clenches like a fist while a strangled moan spills from his lips. Shannon begins to tremble on top of him, keening and whimpering softly. They sit, wrapped around each other in total silence for a long time. She strokes the back of his neck as he comes down from his carnal high and he plays with her hair. When the world finally comes back into focus, she raises herself up, cupping his face in her hands.
"I feel like a teenager again," she laughs.
"I've never done that before," he replies.
"You had me fooled," she whispers. "That was..."
"Yeah," he agrees as he finally catches his breath. "It was."
"The sweatpants you wore last week are clean," she offers. "They're in the bedroom."
"Thanks. I should clean myself up."
"You can toss your jeans and boxers in the laundry. I'll make sure they get washed."
Shannon climbs off of him, grabbing her bra from the floor and sliding it back on. Bucky watches her as she slips her dress back on and reaches behind to zip it up. She's glowing in the moonlight. He's definitely going to have to get Sam some kind of thank you present for installing that stupid app. Shannon smirks at him.
"What's up?"
"Nothing," he laughs. "Just really glad I swiped left."
"You mean right," Shannon teases.
Bucky stops and thinks.
"Yeah."
"Don't worry," she replies. "I get what you mean. I am too."