The night found its end when Yunho climbed up the latter onto the garage. He threw his bag into his room through the agape open window and collapsed against the wall. Cold ate its way up his fingers and exhaustion had already been feeding off of him; never had living cost so much energy. When the teen looked up at the sky that already turned colors from dark-blue to grey-ish, and the stars disappeared, a breath fled his fragile lungs into the cold air in white steam. "Good morning," he wished himself as he hove himself up and climbed into the room to gather his school uniform and fresh underwear to put on after a shower.
~
"Why didn't you study? I thought you were good at this topic?" Yuqi asked as she read over Yunho's paper. "What happened?"
"Nothing. Just fucked up I guess," Yunho sighed and took back his paper to quickly put it in his bag. He lowered his head onto the table and closed his eyes for just a moment, welcoming the darkness to rest his eyes. His body felt like mush.
The girl looked her friend up and down, then put his coat on his back with no further comment. A sigh left her lips at last, then she turned back to prepare for their next class. Sometimes there were no words needed to know what Yunho had been stressing about. Over the month she had come to know him, it had come clear to her that he didn't need the verbal comfort as she did; Yunho only wanted understanding and support, words didn't do it for him. And all she could do for now was cover him while he slept and take detailed notes to give him later.
From the corner of her eyes, she noticed him twitch and try to keep his eyes open miserably. "I'm taking notes, take a nap. I'll wake you in an hour or so," she said and gave him no further attention as their math teacher entered the classroom.
~
Hongjoong looked at the set of jewelry Seonghwa had chosen to wear at the event. "I bought this for you on our seventh anniversary," he noticed, looking at his husband through the mirror. The set included silver asymmetrical earrings of which one had a star pendant and a matching watch. "I thought you wanted to go with something different?"
"I changed my mind," the elder gave back and changed into his sleeping clothes. Standing in front of their closet, Seonghwa decided to blow his surprise. He searched for the big black bag hidden between his other evening wears and turned to show his husband his new choice. "It's similar to the dress Mingi wanted to wear," he said as he opened the zipper to reveal the gown. "I want them to wear it, maybe I can encourage Mingi with this..."
Hongjoong turned to face the elder with a saddened smile on his lips. At first, he had felt rage, now there was a dull feeling of sadness left in his chest. Hongjoong pressed his lips in a line and nodded approvingly. Even the silence was loud, full of critique they threw at themselves. People were cruel and there was nothing they could do to protect their children from society; no matter how much they tried to give them support and acceptance at home. Outside of their four walls, people would throw their opinions at everyone and everything as if they had the right to.
"You know," Hongjoong called into the silence, "I think I want a haircut."
~
"Yunho," Kyungmin pushed himself between the team leader and the stereo.
"I don't have time for your games," Yunho gave back annoyed and grabbed the other by his shoulders to push him out of his way. But he was stubborn, wouldn't move away. "Kyungmin I'm serious."
"You look awful," he replied instead and moved Yunho's hands off his shoulders. "Take a break. We're all exhausted, especially you."
A dry laugh rolled over the leader's lips as he shook his head. "The event is this Friday, do you think we can afford a break?" Yunho tilted his head and rose his brow at the slightly taller. There was still so much to do, how could he be thinking about a break? "Don't worry your pretty head over me, I'm fine and think we need to continue this practice now. If you allow me," he gave back and pushed him out of his way. "Everyone, we'll start from the beginning."
Kyungmin looked at Yunho for a moment longer and then sighed to himself, "sure, you're the leader." His eyes followed him back to his position and he wondered for a moment; how long his leader would be able to stand? He envied him for his ambition and stamina, yet he knew that stubbornness would one day become his weakness.
~
Again he climbed through the window back into his room, breathed out relieved that he was finally home.
Then the light turned on and he looked straight into San and Mingi's faces.
"I already told Papa and Dad," San said and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Next to him, Mingi stood with their head turned to the floor, as if they were feeling guilty for blowing his nightly out-goings. "Papa excused you from school today and Dad wants to talk when he's back from work," San informed him before he turned to leave the room. "Go to sleep, please."
The air was heavy when Mingi and Yunho were left in the room. "I'm so sorry..." they said with a voice so small, "I noticed a couple of weeks ago... you shouldn't push yourself like that Yuyu... you know what Dad always tells us..."
"I'm not mad at you, Mingi," the elder gave back and smiled with his lips pressed. He let his bag fall onto the ground and fell into his bed with a loud sigh. "Are you going to school again?" he asked as he kicked off his sweaty clothes.
Mingi hummed. "Papa talked with the school and now they want me to tell them who they were..."
Yunho tipped his lips and tilted his head, "Do you know them?"
"Not really, I only saw their class tags on their uniform... not that I remember much detail of what happened," they replied and took a long breath. "I need to get going now, Papa made breakfast today... And he said that you're grounded," Mingi snickered, "Bye, Yuyu! I'll come to visit you when I'm back from school!"
Yunho was left with a slight smile and a light heart as sleep caught up to him and he was welcomed in a dream he wouldn't remember later on.
~
"I took you out of the performance."
"Dad!" Out of reflex, Yunho's hand hit the table flat on. The teen flinched back at the loud sound himself, yet on the train of rage, he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "You can't do that to me! Papa!" he added and looked over to Seonghwa, seeking help from him.
Seonghwa remained mostly silent through the conversation late at night at the dinner table. This time he took a deep breath and looked his son in the face before he spoke. "I stand with your father, Yunho," he said, "I can't believe that you have been not only sneaking out of the house but also slept through multiple of your classes."
"I'm not taking out your credits," Hongjoong added with a voice too calm to not be feared. "You broke every single agreement we made, Yunho." It was rare that their parents sat them down at the table long after dinner to talk; there usually was no reason to, the more frightened Yunho was of his father. "You won't perform and this is absolute."
There were tears in his eyes that fueled his anger as Yunho stared at his parents for a silent moment, then bit the insides of his mouth bloody. "This is unfair..." he gave back in a voice so small, a mere whisper against the wind, "... I put all of this on its feet the past months, all on my own..."
"And while, you snuck out of the house, neglected your school, lied to us, and neglected your health," Seonghwa added to his son's words. His former stern and cold face softened as he put his hand on Yunho's that was still flat on the table. His son tensed and sent him angry looks, yet he intertwined their hands and held them tight. "As your parents, we have one essential duty, and it's to protect you, Yunho. And That's the measurement we chose."
"You promised me to not risk your health, this was the agreement we made when I signed the allowance papers, Yunho," Hongjoong said coldly and looked the teen dead in the face. He was disappointed and hurt inside, worried and scared that Yunho would walk a similar path as him. "Again, and I will annul your contract."
"Hongjoong-" Seonghwa's eyes widened at the threat. They hadn't spoken about such beforehand, they had agreed on a short discussion and no further punishment than taking him out of the performance. Yet his word was cut in his throat the same second. The looks his husband and son gave each other was high on tension, as if he could touch it and it would break and let hell loose.
It was the last time Yunho had spoken to his father until the night of the event.
~
The hall was filled with people dressed in fancy and colorful suits and dresses. Golden champagne glasses stood in a glorious pyramid underneath white lightning, around it the expensive buffet of extraordinary foods. The music was low and quiet chitter-chatter filled the room as the staff started to move small things around.
Hongjoong sat proudly at his table, showing off the bleached buzz-cut he had decided upon spontaneously. It looked similar to Mingi's current haircut, just a little shorter. Next to him, holding his hand from under the table, his husband in his eyes, and everyone else's that attended, the most graceful person present. He brought their intertwined hands up from beneath the table and placed a small kiss on the back of his hand, holding the eye contact mischievously. The light blush on Seonghwa's face satisfied him.
"You will never stop, will you?" the elder asked and tipped his lips, letting his eyes wander over everywhere else.
"I'm yours, you're mine, I need everyone to be reminded of that, always," Hongjoong gave back and shrugged his shoulders. "It's almost time for the main attraction," he mentioned dismissively.
"You two are acting like kids," was the only thing the elder replied, referring to his husband and Yunho still not talking to each other.
"I won't get my authority through otherwise."
"Sure, if you say so..."
On the other end of the table, Yunho kept looking at his phone beneath the table. One message after the other kept coming in and he had to restrain himself to not stand up and meet with his group. Kyungmin was in charge now, he would lead everything he had built and he was so bittersweet about it. The boy was capable of the responsibility, was almost made for that position, but it was his place. His work and his art, his sweat and tears. And though he was happy for Kyugmin, it tore him apart on the inside.
"Dear guests..." it was announced and with every word, goosebumps rose on Yunho's skin. His blunt nails dug in his palms, as the performance was introduced and the lights changed and the room fell silent.
"Before we begin..."
Yunho rose his head at the voice, looked at the makeshift stage. Kyungmin looked right back at him.
"We, me and my fellow trainees have to thank our actual leader, Kim Yunho first," he said. The boy's voice was thin, almost shaking but he held himself with such confidence in front of the audience full of potential recruiters and other influential people. "Mister Kim," he addressed and looked Hongjoong right in the face. His knees were close to giving out as he spoke to the big boss directly. "This will never be the same without Yunho, Sir... Please allow us to prove, that our hard work and his initiative were worth it."
The tension in the hall rose, the air seemed to physically thicken. Yunho had never felt his heart beat as fast and impactful as at that moment. He looked at his father who was examining Kyungmin with an iron stare, then his attention was given to him. Words or all natures pooled in his throat and the teen felt like he was eventually going to suffocate on all of them. His father's gaze didn't change, he looked at him with his eyes narrowed; he couldn't tell if he was angry or not. Yunho saw his Papa whisper something in his father's ear; Hongjoong closed his eyes and took a deep breath before motioning him to hurry to wherever he had to be.
Crying was humiliating itself, yet crying in public was above all. And as he worded the silent thank you that he barely managed to say, a tear of relief rolled down Yunho's cheek.
~
Ahaha
I'm alive lol
UHM... TURBULENCE
UHM
:')
I actually have nothing to excuse myself with so ahaha.... I was gone for no reason wooopss
I hope you're doing okay
Sometimes just existing is enough too :)
Have a good time yall
Btw I changed my user to cuteezers for a while... Maybe I'll change it back, or into something else we'll see...
Stay healthy and safe y'all
-gul