can't love you anymore by IU and OHHYUK
just wanted to put out a formal apology to everyone who had requested specific stories but have not seen it published:
i don't think i'll do requests anymore ( or at least, for a long time ), for personal reasons. do forgive me !!
CW: implied cheating
note: conversation in italics is him speaking
==========================
"What is it?"
"..."
"Are you coming back soon?"
"No. I'm still busy with work. Why? Do you need something?"
"No, it's nothing. See you later, then."
"See you."
"I love you."
"..."
A few moments of silence passes, before the other line disconnects. I sighed. Dropping my phone back onto the table, I buried my face in my hands.
Why were we still lying to each other? Everything is so painfully obvious, yet none of us are doing anything about it.
I'm not even sure why I still tried. Why was I still telling him that I love him, even though I didn't mean what I said, even though I knew that he wouldn't say it to me anymore. Hell, I don't even remember when was the last time that he told me he loved me.
I don't know what happened between us. It was such a gradual change, so gradual that I never really noticed till now. Well, I don't think he noticed anything either, or maybe he never cared to notice.
Frequent dates with each other to our favourite places turned into me eating take-away food at home, alone. We used to call each other so often for hours on end, since he was always away for work, but I guess we don't do that anymore, either. So much had changed between us, and it honestly hurts to watch what love we had for each other slowly disappear.
I remember that one day, when I couldn't help but ask him, "Are you still interested in me?"
"Or do you see me... as a friend?"
He was sitting directly opposite me, staring at his phone screen.
"No... It's not like that..."
"It's just that I..."
He sighs, before turning his attention back to his phone.
His answer made me start questioning myself, wondering if I resented him for all that. Truthfully, I couldn't bring myself to hate him, yet I couldn't bring myself to love him anymore either.
We tried to salvage this relationship, we really did. Even though we never voiced our concerns, I knew that he and I were trying to do something about it.
I tried being more affectionate. He tried telling me that he loved me more often. We tried to ignore all those problems we had, pretending that we were happy with everything. We tried to turn back time, to the time where it was the whole world against us. Not us against each other.
Obviously, none of that ever worked out. Of course it didn't work out. His words always felt forced, and no matter how hard he tried, I could never feel the 'love' in his I love yous. I couldn't bring myself to be more physical with him either; it didn't feel right. It never felt right, no matter how I tried.
I guess I should've known, love doesn't work that way, does it?
The both of us did try our best, but honestly at this point, how could we ever love each other again?
So, why were we still together if there wasn't any love left to spare between us? I never knew the answer to that question.
But, someone has to say something about it, right?
Maybe today was the day where I couldn't hold onto that sliver of hope anymore.
I glanced at the clock on the wall, noting that it was way past midnight. Way past the usual time he gets off work. A few hours had already passed since I called but there was still no sight of him. Funny, I thought, why was I still waiting for him?
I was tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally tired.
I made up my mind, picking up my phone once again as I punched in the number that I remembered by heart.
After a few rings, he picks up my call, but this time he says nothing. I was the first to speak.
"..."
"Where are you now?"
"Where are you now?"
"I'm at home."
"I'm in a taxi."
"Are you almost home?"
A sigh could be heard on the other end.
"I'm so sorry."
"For what?"
"Just, everything."
"Go home."
"I left my wallet there."
"Hitoshi, by the way..."
"..."
"Nevermind."
"No, what is it?"
"I don't think we're in love anymore."
"...Oh."
- end -