The next day in the studio was a total nightmare. Since they had rehearsals today, his morning started with the staff complaining about Jin's absence, even though the members were managing fine without him for the last two days. And then there was Namjoon, every time he came into view, a flood of questions blanked him out. They were to spend five hours in the same rehearsal room, making it very difficult for him.
Honestly, he was mad at Jin, for being so negligent with his health. That was besides the fact that he was hiding something and Taehyung would confront him on that, but later. Even when he woke up for the tenth time last night, the color of his face was the same, pale. But the man had relaxed from his curled-up state and was sound asleep. That should have relaxed him, but he just couldn't sleep. And he was paying the price now, as he kept missing the beat, much to Hoseok's annoyance. His mind was back at the apartment, to last night, to the worn-out state of his boyfriend. The image of him in the washroom was imprinted, flashing every few minutes, what if he goes through it again today? He had left Baek-shi with instructions and his mother was visiting him tonight. But that was not relaxing him.
'Taehyung-ah, practice separately!' their choreographer barked. He nodded and went into a corner with his assistant. Not much came from there either, the assistant gave up and called for a break.
'Hyung, how is he? Is he alone?' Jungkook's voice traveled to him but nothing registered. He looked up with a deep scowl at the boy towering over him.
'I asked, how Jin hyung is? I tried calling him in the afternoon, but he didn't answer my call.' Jungkook repeated, leaning on the mirror next to him with his bottle of water.
'Yeah, he must have been asleep. He hasn't replied to any of my calls either. Dr. Park said it was flu but Jin being Jin will never ask for help.' Taehyung sighed. Jungkook nodded with a smile, knowing how his oldest brother tries to withstand even an injury. 'Hopefully, medications will force him to rest.' the youngest watched his brother shut his eyes and sigh heavily. 'Jungkook-ah, I was shit scared last night.'
'I can understand.' Jungkook held his brother's hand, his voice was soft and his gaze was on Jimin, contemplating the choreography with complete focus. His own boyfriend's health always made him anxious, he was always on edge. He understood very well what it meant to see the one you love in pain, the number of times he had rushed his beloved to a hospital in the middle of the night. He sighed and focussed back on Taehyung, who was staring back into oblivion. 'Don't worry, Jin Hyung will kick the flu away, he hates being sick.' Taehyung forced a smile, knowing the bond between the three of them. 'Should I stay over tonight? I'll bring dinner. Jimin will stay with Hobi Hyung and Yoongi Hyung.' he smiled wider, showing his brilliant teeth excited about the idea. For a moment, Taehyung wondered, does Jungkook know what Jin is hiding? maybe he will also know about Namjoon. Or about Jin's desperate drinking. But then the look of innocence in his younger brother's eyes shook him out of considering the possibility.
'No no.' he smiled back, shaking his head. 'I myself won't be staying over tonight.' he pursed his lips, hating the idea. But Jin's groggy request in the dawn kept him bound from complaining.
'Huh? He will stay alone?' Jungkook asked, reflecting his own emotions in minuscule.
'Yeah. He claims the flu has to stop with him. No spreading.' Taehyung chuckled, playing with Jungkook's hand.
'Ahh!' he nodded. 'I see.'
'Plus, I have a recording tomorrow. He will never forgive himself if I catch it and miss another day of recording.' Taehyung explained, convincing himself more than the others. Hoseok's voice echoed calling for another rehearsal.
Later in the day, it felt so strange, when he walked into his own apartment just a few streets away from Jin's. There were barely two or three nights in a month that this house of his was used. That too is always with Jin. In fact, his own housekeeper was surprised to hear from him. Initially, he thought this peace of mind would help him and push away all the doubts to reinforce their relationship. But now that he was alone, his thoughts and doubts amplified and played in a constant loop like a broken record. He tried Netflix, spoke with Jin for a few minutes, read a book, drank wine, smoked a vape, played soothing records, spoke with Jimin, and worked on his songs a little but nothing let him sleep. The questions were distracting. He pushed the blanket away and jumped out of the bed. Very exhausted from staying awake two nights in a row. It was not helping that he was very alert, because Jin was not in his sight, unlike last night.
'Eomma, are you awake?' he spoke softly, sleep was on his body but his mind refused any respite.
'What happened? Have you seen the time?' she whisper-yelled at him.
'Hmm. 1 a.m. Sorry.' he chuckled. 'But now that you are awake, can you tell me how to make cold medicine?'
'Are you sick?' her tone changed quickly. Mothers.
'No not me. Jin.' Taehyung's tone turned grim as well. He wondered again, What if something like yesterday happens to Jin tonight? He might just sleep on the washroom floor out of exhaustion.
'Is it bad now? Does he have a fever? I think you should call-'
'No, no fever. Just have stomach upset and a sore throat. He was throwing up last night. The doctor gave him medicines. He should be asleep now.' he explained quickly.
'Should be?.. where is he then?' her tone was changing quickly.
'Hannam dong.'
'And where are you?' her voice was skeptical.
'My apartment.' He offered, not thinking much of it while switching the kitchen lights on.
'So who is with Jin? Did his parents come? His mom?' she asked.
'Nobody. He is alone.' I answered, matter-of-factly. He wanted to call one of them and ask them to spend the night with him. But Jin had cried and wept in his sleep to not do so, he wanted to be alone and recover. Being sick always felt like a burden on others to him, even if we insisted that it was not so. It was a motivation for him to stay fit.
'You left him alone? sick?!' she whispered- yelled once again, startling Taehyung.
'No, he asked me to-recording-' he fumbled, trying to remember what to explain.
'Recording? How selfish can you be? He stayed beside you the entire night when you were ill!' she scolded him, for the next twenty minutes she made sure he felt guilty for leaving his sick boyfriend alone at his weakest. Which he already was.
The next day he had dark circles. Damn, Jin is going to scold me for this as well now. He stifled a yawn while stepping out of the car. There was one more HYBE van parked beside it. He focussed on the familiar figures in the car, not the usual guards that came to pick up Jin. He waved at the man in the front seat, Hobum Hyung, just as the elevator dinged behind him.
'Taehyung-ah!' Namjoon's voice echoed in the dark garage. Dressed in a long dark coat and hair slick, his eyes twinkled. What the actual fuck? Why is he here so early in the morning? Why?! Can i get a break? Namjoon rushed toward him and wrapped him in a hug, pausing his thoughts.
'Good Morning, Hyung. You are here.' Taehyung returned the pat on his back and plastered a smile on his face as well. 'Missed Jin a little too much?'
'Uh-huh. Not as much as you did.' He teased back. Taehyung bit down on any retorts, pretending to blush in his smile. 'I had to drop off a script. For sub-unit act. I made the edits yesterday.' He explained quickly, staring at the floor.
'You made the edits yourself?' Tahyung asked, he found Namjoon strange today.
'Uh-...' He paused, surprised by the counter-question. 'Yeah. Lots of mistakes.' he chuckled, nervously. 'With the editors, of course. Ha ha, like I could do it alone! Ha ha.' He laughed some more, before retracting his footsteps towards the car.
'Of course, of course.' Taehyung nodded.
'Sooo, I have to leave now. See you later in the week?' Namjoon yelled, already sitting in his car. Taehyung nodded, waving at them. He watched the car leave. Something felt off. Namjoon never flusters.
'Goood Morninggg, Voo!' He heard the chirpy melody ring in his ears the moment he opened the door. They couldn't even see each other, but his voice broke a smile on his lips. He walked in quick steps to find the gleaming face of this handsome man waiting for him.
Sejin Hyung towered next to the barstool with a tablet in his hand and paused from whatever he was reading out.
Guilt washed over him for ever doubting their relationship. The look in Jin's eyes was all he ever needed. He never knew Jin was capable of ever looking at him like that. Damn, he didn't know if even deserved it. All he knew was that one look in his eyes was the end of him. In a flash, he was floating across the room and had Jin's face in his palms. His forehead felt warm under his lips. Jin's wrapped hands around his waist were tugging at his jacket. He was squirming out of his hold when his lips traveled down, worshipping his face. Sejin cleared his throat, already stepping away from the couple. 'Come on! I won't catch anything.' Taehyung held his head in place to continue showering him with kisses. Jin blushed at the whine, it was the one reserved only for him. 'Go away.' Jin shoved playfully at Taehyung's chest. But the latter held his arms firmly. Jin's insides squirmed with the hooded look in Taehyung's eyes. The latter wanted a taste of him. Jin squirmed, almost tipping the barstool. 'Fine! Fine!' Taheyung gave in. He pulled the man in a hug resting his head against his chest, enjoying the warmth coursing through his insides to have him in his arms again. 'I missed you.' He hummed in his hair, inhaling the musky scent. Sejin sighed a little too loud across the room, both of them turned to see him watching them with a fond look. Taehyung let go of him and turned towards the kitchen with his huge flask. He noticed the bowl in front of Jin.
'You cooked? I would have made you soup.' He asked genuinely surprised.
'I didn't. Namjoon brought it. His Mom made.' Jin returned to his bowl, slurping it all down. 'He just left, didn't you meet him?' Jin watched Taehyung freeze in his actions. The latter shook out of his thoughts with a frown, his gaze searching for something, feeling a little lost in the familiar kitchen. That is when he realized Jin's gaze was on him, waiting for an answer.
'Yeah, in the garage. So how is the script with the edits?' Taheyung cleaned up the counter, habitually. Baek-shi was late today. Or were they early?
'What script?' he asked skeptically. Taehyung had turned his back to clean an already wiped spot, he froze once again. 'Is there a script? For what?' his coarse voice grew harsher questioning him. Jin was very insecure about last-minute changes and details. Taehyung turned to check if Jin was playing with him, but found genuine annoyance written all over his face. 'I swear if there is another thing today, I will breathe fire.' Jin turned to Sejin, who was startled by the sudden agitation and stared at Taehyung's blank face. Are they all lying? Did Namjoon lie? Why would he? He could have said he came to drop off the soup. Why did he lie?
'What is hap-pening? What scri-pt is this?!' Jin coughed between his yelling at Sejin now, who looked at him for answers. Taheyung caught his thoughts quickly.
'No. I think he was talking about a script for me.' Taehyung explained to both of them. His heart was racing, were they all lying? The conversation with Namjoon played on a loop in his mind.
'Are you sure?' Jin cocked his eyebrows, still very much on the edge.
'Yea yea. I will call him later.' Taehyung nodded, his eyes wide as discs resonated in his racing heart.
'Pch. You need to stay present, Taehyung-ah!' Jin drawled his scolding, exhausted from the sudden outburst.
'I was tuned out, worried about you...' Taehyung whined as well, forcing himself back into the room. Namjoon is lying. And making Jin hide something from him. It's all Namjoon, not his Jin. Jin bit down on his smile, but his cheeks flushed red.
'Seokjin-shi?' Sejin called out, breaking their sweet moment. Jin nodded at the man who left after the single reminder. He got out of the chair and headed towards the sink, his gait was off, leaning more to the left. He was walking, no, more like wobbling one step at a time.
'Are you sure about today?' Taehyung took the bowl from his hand and handed him the mug.
'You made me cold medicine?!' Jin exclaimed, smiling ear to ear. The stubborn ass he was, didn't even answer Taehyung's worries. 'Omo! I am so lucky, Kim Taehyung! My boyfriend made medicine! Just for me-' His intention to tease Taehyung was downed into a yelp. Taehyung's arms suddenly wrapped around his waist from behind. 'I am the lucky one, you idiot.' he whispered, nuzzling against his nape. 'Jin-ah, don't fall sick like this, please, it hurts so much.' Taehyung's low rumble sent shivers down Jin's spine. The mug trembled in his hands as Taehyung's arms coiled tighter around him. He downed the entire medicine in one gulp, unbothered by how bitter it tasted. The warmth he was enveloped in sweetened it for him, he did miss this even if it was for one night. Taehyung felt Jin's whole weight on him as they walked toward their bedroom. He waited anxiously outside the closed washroom door reliving the previous night. Watching him barely pull on his pants did not help either. How was he going to do this for the rest of the day?
'Baby, don't overdo today, please.' Taehyung requested, clutching his hand while he slipped into the loafers. Jin nodded obediently.
'Let Sejin Hyung and the staff know if you are feeling uneasy.' he handed Jin's day bag and a flask of medicine to Sejin. 'Hyung, I want updates every hour. And even if he looks slightly bad, even the tiniest amount, DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM. Send him home right away!' The man was startled by Taehyung's new tone, he was threatening. Jin pulled Taehyung back into his arms, to keep him from attacking Sejin. His thumb traced from dark circles under his eyes and to the deep scowl wrinkling his forehead, gently massaging it to melt away.
'Don't worry, Tae.' Jin whispered. Taehyung felt a surge of emotions, on a whim, his lips pressed against the soft plump ones. Jin froze at the stolen kiss, stunned to speak. But Taehyung wanted, no he needed this, all of his doubts and worries melted away with a single taste of this man. Jin shoved at him hard, making him step back forcefully, already laughing at his expression. 'Go! Gargle now!' Jin scolded him. But Taehyung fell back into a fit of laughter, watching Jin leave.
'I think we should tell him.' Sejin filled in the empty silence in the elevator. Jin had turned distant the moment he stepped out of the apartment.
'No.' Jin was stern. Pain coursed through his midriff but he bit it down. This was his life now, he had to deal with it.
'Why not?' Sejin asked agitated, afraid of Taehyung's warning earlier. And Jin insists they do not tell Taehyung anything was not helping anyone. He watched the man turning pale right there. 'He is worried about you! Jin- he thinks you have a cold. For God's sake Jin! My colleagues told me how lost he was, moping around, not rehearsing, not talking. Forget sleep, I bet he didn't even eat since yesterday!'
'Exactly why.' Jin sighed staring at the metal door. 'If he behaves like thinking I have a petty cold, imagine what will happen if he finds out. Are you prepared for it? Because I will not gamble losing him over my health.'
Later in the evening, Taehyung ditched his schedule. By the eighth call of the day, he was done hearing about Jin doing well text from Sejin Hyung. Now he wanted to pamper his boyfriend back to health. So he skipped lunch and breezed through the day's events as fast as he could, and the moment he was told Jin was done for the day, he dropped the dress pants meant to try for a costume fitting and rushed back home. To his Jin. Signs of exhaustion were very clear on his boyfriend's face. As if that could deter Taehyung. He pampered Jin with a massage to revitalize him, grinning at his moaning reaction that fed his urges. But Jin kept slapping his naughty hands and finally suggested they watch something together instead. Taehyung sighed laying his head in his favorite place, Jin's lap, while they watched 'The Penthouse.'
But his moment of peace broke with a blaring phone call.
'No!' Taehyung pursed his lips, holding Jin's wrist in a grip.
'Let go, Taehyung, I need to take this.' Jin whined. A frown formed on his face.
'I am not pausing.' He shook Jin's wrist trying to make him drop the phone. But it only irritated Jin further.
'Stop it. Fine. Let-GO.' Jin's voice was stern. When Taehyung didn't leave, he stood up forcefully hitting his knee on the table and Taehyung's head on the couch. Jin's strength suddenly came as he unhanded himself. 'Namjoon-ah, one second...' he answered the call limping into their bedroom, unbothered by the dark shadow on his boyfriend's face. Taehyung was fuming staring blankly at the TV. Namjoon? what was so urgent? why are they so secretive? He could have answered the call here. He hurt himself and me while answering his call! What kind of behavior is that?! How dare he! Fuck him, I will watch alone! He tried for a few seconds but his mind reeled in those thoughts. Jumping out of the couch he stomped into the kitchen, banging the pots and pans at their loudest to get attention. But the door didn't open. Why has he even closed the door?! He will come out to eat. 'Jin-ah, I am hungry. Let's have dinner!' he yelled aloud, making sure even his neighbors could hear him. When no reply came, he stomped to the bedroom door ready to barge into their conversation what if he thinks I am eavesdropping, you know how sensitive Jin is about your jealousy and so he turned back around to the kitchen. Restless, utterly impatient with his own thoughts, he sulked into the chair, staring at the bowl of soup and empty spot beside him. They are hiding something, why would he talk in secret? Why close the door? Everything at HYBE is all that we know! Then why? Something is off! But forget that, he was unwell up until this morning, and now he is skipping dinner...he didn't have dinner with me yesterday...a quick glimpse at the clock made him realize, fuck it's been an hour now! He rushed to the door and banged on it hard 'JIN-AH! It's late! Have your dinner!' he banged once again, but no reply came, and sweat trickled down his neck. Why does he always close doors? A new policy of open doors now! Or maybe take off all the doors in this apartment! He sighed hard when the doorknob turned, it was unlocked. 'Jin-ah?' he gingerly walked in, but no reply came, and his heart paled momentarily. Because Jin was asleep. The dark mop of his hair splayed on the white of the pillow and his breathing was steady. Drifting into the dreamland, he was still dressed in his day clothes, he was curled up without a blanket. Jin's features were at peace, he pursed in his sleep. Taehyung's anger fell off at the pretty sight, Jin looked like a baby while asleep. In two steps, Taehyung crossed the room to cover Jin, bubbling with love now. He tucked him in. You are my weakness, baby. How do you make me this person? Taehyung leaned in to press his lips on the plump pink ones but froze. Did he just flinch? He flinched when I kissed him. What just happened? He knows me so well and yet he...maybe in his sleep, but Jin never flinches when I touch him. So he brushed a hand on Jin's face and there it was another flinch, this time with a disgusting scowl. Taehyung's brain was screaming, his heart raced like he ran a marathon.
'Jimin-ah? Can we meet?' he asked urgently, stepping into the lobby already. He just couldn't stay in the apartment, it was stifling to stay in the bedroom itself. Thankfully, Jimin was awake and Jungkook was away for a shoot. His soulmate knocked some much-needed sense in him, maybe or maybe not he was imagining it all. But Jimin made sure he understood that their relationship was strong and Jin loved him that much.
'Taehyung-ah, Taehyung-ah, wake up.' Jimin shook him up at dawn, he had fallen asleep on his couch and was out of it to drive back home. 'Hyung is angry.' Jimin handed him his phone and left groggily for his bedroom. The beloved man on the call yelled profanities, accusing him of going missing in the middle of the night. Taehyung tried to calm him down while rushing back home.
'Did you get any sleep?' Jin's voice called him out as soon as he opened the door, the TV was blaring and he sat on the bar stool, hair tussled while eating his muesli. Half of his sleep was still in his eyes, he was awake a little too early. Taehyung cursed under his breath because all that flashed in front of his eyes was a shadow of Namjoon lurking in their apartment. He avoided eye contact and headed straight for the washroom.
'Tae!' Jin called again, making him realize the question.
'Huh? No..' he paused momentarily staring at a point beyond Jin. 'Jimin had a lot to talk about.' he shut the door as quickly as he could. His heart was racing once again, some kind of impending doom warned in his mind. 'Fuck!' he cursed at the reflection in the mirror. Jimin's talk didn't help at all. He splashed his face vigorously, hoping to clear his thoughts before it costs him Jin.
A/N: Happy Birthday to Jimin!