Last night couldn't have been more awkward. Even if the scene before dinner hadn't occurred, Jake was still fuming at me for my earlier outburst.
I wanted to yell at him! Why couldn't he see it was out of character for me? Never had I snapped at him. And Jake has done some pretty annoying shit. If this had been the Cotton's, Mr C would have sat on my bed until we were laughing, and Chase would have promised to kill anyone who hurt me.
One thing I did know, I'd need to smooth things over with Jake that was for sure. Perhaps I could facetime with Gemma and Jay or something, yeah, that would cheer me up. They always knew the right thing to say. Jay no doubt would have his opinions on everything, but he might have some good suggestions on how to make good. He was the peacekeeper of the Cotton's, a hard task.
The ping from my phone broke me from my thoughts.
Jay - What about a spa day? Women love those right? Please help, I suck at this shit. If you want to do a joint present I'm down, as everyone else already has something.
Laying on my bed, I smiled as I replied to Jay. Finally an interaction with someone who wasn't annoyed at me. Until Jake rolled on into the room that was. I'd been dreading this conversation all morning. I'd practiced what I'd say about ten times in the mirror. Worse still, I hadn't gotten around to calling Gemma or Jay yet. Looks like I'll be doing this solo.
The thing with Jake, he was very self focused. Often seeing everything from his own single perspective, which made apologizing hard. Most people understand that saying sorry isn't always easy and help by easing the tension with a 'thank you for your apology'. Jake was more of a 'glad you can see how wrong you were' kind of person.
For these reasons I thought he'd have been pissed off when he came in. Yet his face gave nothing away. Unsure of how to react, I stared up at him from the bed. Deciding on this one occasion to let his lack of knocking slide.
"So I have an idea."
"Right, hit me with it." So far so good, maybe this was going to go easier than planned.
"A few of my people are in town, and I thought you'd like to meet them?" Jake spoke with a casualness, though his face showed his discomfort.
"Your people?"
"You know, friends and such. It'll mean you can show me what England's nightlife is all about." Could this be his olive branch?
"I thought you'd been out in London lots of times?"
"Well... yeah. But not with you." The idea Jake wanted me to meet his friend pushed away all the anxiety I'd built. I hadn't ever met any of his friends before. Talking frankly, I didn't actually think he had any. However, I kept my surprise to myself.
"Okay, I'm game. Just tell me the time and place and I'll be there." I said smoothly, not showing the inner panic of having nothing to wear.
Yesterday had been shit, so I guess I was due some good right?
"Cool, meet you downstairs at say... 7?" I nodded enthusiastically. Jake smiled back at me before turning to leave.
I got back to the task in hand, what to get Mrs C for her birthday. She loved her charities, a donation? Maybe we could volunteer for the day.
"Who are you messaging?"
"Just Jay." Shrugging, I looked up to see Jake staring at me with a puzzled look on his face.
"About what? Are you two like a thing or something?" The question didn't come as a surprise, most people thought I was dating one of the Cotton's seeing how close we were. Normally Jay came up as their best guess seeing as we went to school together. A few guessed Chase and one or two believed it to be Gemma. Nobody ever guessed Roy or Samuel though.
The idea that Jake now thought it to cracked me up. I peered back to my screen, ready to tell Jay that another person thought we were an item.
"With Jay? No, he's like a brother to me. We're just talking about ideas of what to get his mum for her birthday." I spoke with a slight chuckle.
"I'm sure Jay can think up his own ideas." Jake muttered.
When I looked up, Jake had the look of someone who'd been told his favourite TV show was crap.
Jake was the jealous type, especially when it came to the Cottons. Sometimes it was hard because I owed and loved the Cottons a lot, I felt as though I couldn't share this part of my life with my brother. His jealous nature meant he was always giving his opinion or putting them down, which bothered me. Especially when the Cotton's had only said good things about Jake and my father. Even when they didn't deserve it.
"Of course he can, we're just brainstorming." I sounded easy going, hoping not to burn the branch I'd been given, whilst inside I was annoyed. Which increased the moment Jake scrunched up his face, like he didn't believe what I was saying to him.
The action reminded me of when I'd told the teachers how Helen treated me and they'd made me feel as though I was a liar. Worse still, they'd made me apologize to her for telling lies. The bitter memory always left a sour taste in my mouth.
"Everything okay?" I asked, keeping the atmosphere light when all I really wanted to do was call Jake out on his bullshit.
"Just don't think you should lead him on." The idea stunned me. Based on no evidence or having hardly met Jay, Jake had decided to label us. Or label me should I say.
"What? Where did you get that from?" I put my phone on the bed and sat up right, giving Jake my full attention.
"Texting him will give him the wrong impression."
"He's family Jake." I couldn't keep the frown from my face any longer.
My feelings of guilt over having ago at him yesterday were quickly fading. What gave him the right? I was waiting for him to at least justify his argument, but all he did was shrug and walk out with that same annoyed expression on his face.
I hit my head against the bed's headboard and looked up at the ceiling. When does this shit start getting easier? I knew it would be hard, fitting into any family, especially this one. Did it have to be this hard though? Everything I did either seemed to be wrong, or wrong.
The excitement I'd first felt about meeting Jake's mates had been quashed. And looking through my clothes wasn't helping matters. The wardrobe wasn't even a quarter of the way full and it contained almost all of my clothes. None of which would be suitable for tonight. Not with Jake and his friends. I knew the type of clothing Jake wore, we had a problem here.
**********
In the car Jake continued giving me blunt answers to the simple questions I asked, like where were we going and how many people would be there. I kind of expected him to have gotten over the whole Jay situation this morning. Guess I was wrong.
Even as we arrived at the venue Jake was quick to get out of the car and leave me behind. I smiled politely at Sam (my father's driver), who returned it with a look of... pity? Sam was in his mid forties I'd say, he'd probably seen a lot of Jake's temper tantrums.
I had to admit, the bar was spectacular. Plants hung from the ceiling showering the place with a rainforest vibe. One wall had a rock feature with running water into a pond, next to it were tables so people could watch the fish whilst they drank. A bar was placed in the centre of the room, the bartenders were already hard at work. A crowd of people surrounded it, all chatting loudly.
Quickening my pace, I caught up with Jake just as he reached the mass of people in the only section of the room cornered off. This must be their VIP bit, because it was equipped with its very own bar. The lights shined off the gold surfaces creating a glow.
It was hard not to notice how out there all of Jake's friends were. They all wore such bright colourful clothing it made my black dress look like I'd just come from a funeral.
Most of the guys were built and had their shirts mainly open, showing off their fake tanned bodies and steroid muscles. Okay, so I didn't know if it was fake tan or steroids... but I've never seen someone so orange or bulked that way naturally.
The girls on the other hand, were so tiny and perfect. Each curl fell effortlessly, I envied them. My hair was straight because it was the only style I could do without Gemma's help.
I felt completely out of my depth. Worse still, nobody even noticed me. I tried to smile at a couple of them, yet as soon as I went to introduce myself they'd turn away. Jake was no help, right away he'd began leaping into the same stories he'd told me a hundred times. They all laughed as though he was the funniest person on the planet. I wondered how many times they'd heard it?
Perhaps this was Jake's way of punishing me, leaving me on the side-lines whilst he had the best time. I withstood a maximum of ten minutes before I went to one of the velvet mustards bar stools.
Time passed slowly, I kept an eye on Jake. Waiting for him to decide I'd had enough and introduce me.
One good thing, the bartender was very friendly and entertaining. I'd learnt he was studying to become a dentist, whilst dappling in juggling. Although he wasn't very good, which made me laugh even harder.
Every now and then one of the girls would ask me very rudely who I was, because clearly I didn't belong here. Once I explained they instantly became interested, like I was the shiny new kid at school who's dad had a fat wallet.
Each time I looked at the clock praying the time had leaped forward an hour only to discover ten minutes had passed.
I'd been sitting on the bar stool for two hours when my phone lit up.
"Looks like someone's noticed you." Dave said with laughing eyes, placing another sex on the beach in front of me.
Good old Chase, impeccable timing as always.
Just as I opened my phone to reply a sweaty hand touched my back.
"Who are you texting now?" Jake slurred into my ear.
"Nice of you to notice me. I thought you were too busy with your... friends." Putting my phone away, I turned to stare directly at Jake. Waiting for some sort of explanation.
"They're not my friends, they're my family. Just like you consider the Cottons yours."
Theory confirmed. So Jake was annoyed I'd called Jay family, of course he was. And now he was excluding me. Great.
I bit back all the words I wanted to shout at Jake. Half of me wanted to leave then and there, to tell Jake to shove his family up his ass and go back home. So why couldn't I?
Maybe because the moment I stepped into this bar I could tell these people weren't his friends. Because I felt sad that Jake had nobody whilst I at least had the Cotton's. I stayed because despite Jake's asshole ways, he was my brother, and I needed to show him that nothing would change that.
"Can I borrow some money for drinks?" Kyle drunkenly asked. I only knew his name because he had it tattooed on him. Weirdo.
Jake quickly hands Kyle a fifty pound note, before Kyle disappeared into the crowd again.
"See." Jake said pointedly.
I looked around puzzled. "Did I miss something? Was that guy asking you for money meant to prove a point?"
"They come to me when they're in need. Because they trust me." Jake spoke with such confidence I knew he genuinely believed that.
Robert had messed Jake up more than I'd expected. He was so desperate for love he couldn't even tell when people were taking advantage of him.
"Right, I missed that."
My phone made another loud ding noise. Thankful for the interruption I eagerly look to see Chase has texted me again. Probably wondering why I ignored his first message.
"So who are you texting?" This time when Chase spoke there was a slight edge to his voice.
"Chase." I took another sip of my drink, hoping Jake would resist his judgment. He couldn't.
"Jay's brother?"
"Yep." I popped the 'p'.
"Right, that's a bit wrong? Especially when you're texting his brother." Jake's face looked so righteous right now. What couldn't this boy understand?
I stood up, both physically and verbally. I'd had enough, Jake was just like the teachers. He didn't want to hear the truth because the narrative he'd created for himself fit so much better.
It was easier for Jake to understand if I just wanted to sleep with them. Rather than come to terms with the fact I had other people in my life who cared about me.
"They're my friends Jake. Don't you have girls who are friends? Oh wait, no you don't. Because I've had a delightful conversation with three girls now, all telling me that they're your girlfriend. Nice point by the way, telling them that you have to keep your relationship a 'secret' for safety reasons. It was a really nice touch that one. Question, I didn't realise you were such a safety issue." I put my index finger to my lips and looked up at the ceiling as if trying to work out the world's problems.
"My family is rich." Jake shrugged like that answered everything. I ignored the stabbing feeling from Jake saying 'my' instead of 'our'.
"Yes, I have noticed that many rich people don't have partners." I argued back. Grabbing my purse, and finally having had enough.
"Whatever." Jake turned.
Dave, the bartender who's been keeping my company all night, walked by, just in front of Jake. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.
"Move" Jake muttered before roughly shoving Dave causing him to fall into the crowd of people and spilling the tray of drinks he was holding everywhere.
Surprisingly Dave was quick to be back on his feet and in Jake's face. Dave had gone red, either from rage or embarrassed. I couldn't blame him. I was about to tell Jake what a jackass he was being but Dave beat me to it.
"What the hell man! What the fuck was that about?"
"I'm sorry, are you talking to me?" Jake blinked as though only seeing Dave for the first time now.
Kyle, who stood just behind Jake, laughed. Drawing even more on lookers.
"Yeah, the douche who's got a small dick so he has to try and impress his egghead mates." Dave looked ready to throw down with everyone's praying eyes.
Jake took a step closer to Dave, the pair were inches from each other. Jake had a look in his eyes like someone about to go in for the kill.
"You better watch how you talk to me." Jake spoke with a deadliness to his voice. I've seen lots of sides to Jake, snobby, knobby, happy, braggy. But this one I liked the least.
Even Dave seemed taken back, I could see the flicker of doubt in his eyes. The crowd around us had gone quiet, like they knew something I didn't. Were they waiting for something?
Thankfully the tense silence was quickly broken up by another staff member, who was quick to pull the two apart. His eyes were firmly on Jake whilst pushing Dave away with his other hand.
"Is everything okay here Mr Flores?" The guy said, all smiles.
"No, it's not. Your loud mouth employee has insulted my friends and I. I want him fired." I stared at Jake in shock.
Obviously I was outside looking in, but surely Jake knew he was the one at fault. He'd pushed the guy over, everyone saw it.
"Of course Mr Flores. Dave, get your stuff and go." The manager didn't bother looking at Dave, he stood smiling brightly at my asshole brother.
"Are you kidding me? He pushed me on purpose."
The manager made a 'one moment' gesture at Jake, then wrapped an arm around Dave and guided him away from the crowd.
"I'm doing you a favour, leave . Now."
I sat, watching the unjustness play out. I wanted to say or do something, yet the friendliness the manager was showing Jake made me question everything. Were managers meant to stick up for their employees? I'd never heard or seen anyone being fired on the spot like that.
"Anything else I can do for you? Maybe some more drinks?"
"Yes, definitely more drinks."
"On the house." The man immediately disappeared to do Jake's bidding.
With a new sense of anger boiling inside of me and strode over to Jake, ready to demand he take back what he'd said. Jake had never worked in his life, he didn't know that Dave needed that job to get through university.
"Hey! Why'd you push that guy? Or better yet, why'd you get him fired?"
Jake did his normal shrug, dismissing me like father would him. I grabbed his arm, forcing him to take note of me.
"It's just a joke Meg." His tone was 'duh', as if I was a stupid child.
Deep breath, don't lose your shit. Or say something you can't take back!
"A joke! You did that for a joke? That's not funny and it's not cool."
Jake's friend Kyle leaned over, interrupting our conversation.
"What would you know about being cool?" A smirk laid smugly across his lips.
I looked to Jake for some backup, I don't know why. His face was indifferent, he couldn't care less that someone had just insulted his sister.
"Obviously more than you, if you think that that was acceptable in any way. Jake, go tell the manager you don't want the waiter fired." I stood with my back towards Kyle, effectively cutting him out of the conversation. It was rude, and I didn't care. I'd had enough of this shitty night. Jake and I would have to talk about it tomorrow, but at this point, I just wanted to get as far away from him as possible.
"Why should he?" Kyle butted in .... Again.
"Because it's wrong! If anything you should be chucked out instead." I looked Kyle square in the face, letting him see from the expression what I thought of him.
"I don't need a fucking lecture from worlds biggest slut." Jake's words hit like a knife in my back, he muttered the words quietly yet everyone still heard it. In the background I could hear Jake's peers laughing. A slow, self-satisfied smile appeared on Kyle's face.
In other words, I was losing the battle.
"What did you just call me?" Wrong question to ask completely, it just gave Jake a chance to shout it louder.
"A slut. That's what girls who talk to two guys at once are." Holding up his hands, Jake looked around at the people. Clearly believing he's just called me out on something massive, exposing me to his fake friends.
That tiny bit of calmness I'd been holding onto vanished. I wasted no time getting into Jake's face, letting him see the fury he's enraged within me.
"You are so insecure and delusional it's unbelievable." I paused, tilting my head to whisper in Jake's ear the final blow. "No wonder Dad finds it hard to love you." I'd hit Jake where it hurt most, his head recollided back as if it slapped him.
His shock showed for only a brief second before the shutters came down. He'd officially locked me out. I knew in the morning I'd regret what I'd said, but at this moment, I didn't give a shit.
"I want her out as well!" As soon as the words left Jake's lips a painfully tightly hand gripped my arm. I looked at the tall, bald security man in surprise.
"You don't need to man handle me, I was already leaving." I stopped to look at Jake. "Just know, out of all these people. I was the only one who cared about you." With that said and my head held high, I walked through the crowd of people. Half of them looked impressed, and the other half disgusted. I however, was done giving a fuck.
Just as I reached the doors to leave I heard Jake shout.
"I'm not insecure!"
Personally, I've never met a secure person who needed to state that they were.