A/N: hey(: sorry for being MIA check the authors note at the end for reasons!
Also, listen to the song Scarlett by Holly Humberstone because yeah.
HARRY'S POV:
Scarlett promised she wouldn't move if I went upstairs to grab her something to wear. She doesn't promise often but she did it today, and I know she means it. Only because I really don't see her feeling like getting up considering how drunk she is. I also handed her a glass of water, and told her to finish at least half of it before I got back.. I doubt she did that at all. I grab a sweatshirt, and a pair of sweatpants from my drawers, and move back towards the staircase to bring them to her.
The sun is starting to set which is one of the best times in my opinion, specifically because of this apartment. I look to my right as I move down the stairs, and I look out of the floor to ceiling windows that make up the entire wall of my apartment. It's the most appealing part to me. It does make it a bit warmer in here, but not to the point of needing to close the blinds.
"Did you drink your water Scar?" I call out, not seeing her from the other side of the couch.
"Yep!" She yells out, and I walk forward. The only thing I can see from this side of the couch is her arm shooting straight up, holding an empty glass, and I'm surprised. "I spilled a little bit on my sweater though." I hear her mumble. I walk around the couch, and notice that she did spill some of the water but not too much. She's cute, I have to give her that.
"Well good thing I brought you clothes to change into right?" I ask, and she holds her hands out. I pass her the two items, and she takes them, and forces herself off of the couch, groaning as she does.
"Bathroom?" She asks, and I nod my head to the hallway past the kitchen.
"Through there.. First door on the left." I unbutton the cuffs of my shirt as I tell her, and she watches me slowly, and then turns away, wobbling to the bathroom. I shake my head, knowing she was probably thinking something vulgar. I guess it really was my personality.. I've never seen this side of her, the side with attraction, and hunger behind her eyes.. She's always been ambitious, but not about sex, and not about my appearance.. Just not about me.
I don't pay any mind to it now, knowing it's just her drunk thoughts and sober her would be mortified that she's said these things. Most people say "Drunk words sober thoughts" and though that's true, they're just thoughts.. And no matter if she says them to me now or not, she would never say them sober so I'm not going to take them into account like they're more serious than her other words. I'll wait to take them seriously when she admits them without her drunk influence.
"Your soap smells like sunshine!" She yells from the hall, and I smile to myself, bringing the empty glass and her shoes with me. I set her shoes down at the front door, and bring the glass straight to the dishwasher. I see red hair out of the corner of my eye, and I look up to see my best friend in my clothes. The sweatshirt fits her better than the sweatpants do. They cover the bottom of her feet as she wobbles into the space.
"I'm glad you like my soap." I tell her, and she thins her eyes at me.
"Are you glad?" She challenges, and puts her clothes on the island counter. She turns away from the pile, and moves back to the couch, throwing herself down. I walk towards the pile, and take it, moving to the laundry room. I get the feel of the sweater, and assume it was handmade, meaning it should also be hand washed.. I leave that to the side, and everything else I throw into the machine, washing it for her. I bring the sweater back out with laundry detergent, and fill up my sink with hot water, and detergent, placing the sweater in the soapy water. I soak it, and let it sit.
"What are you doing?" She calls out.
"Washing your clothes." I reply.
"You can't wash my Jimothy sweater, I made it!" She shouts, sitting up too quickly.
"I could tell you made it. It's handwashing in my sink right now darling. Lay back down." I nod my head to her, and she sighs in relief, throwing herself down. "But now I have to know.. What is a Jimothy sweater, and why does that sound familiar?" I ask her, walking around my counter, and back into the living room.
"Jimothy, like the coffee shop." She tells me.
"I know the shop, it's where we met again... I just don't understand how the sweater is a Jimothy sweater." I shake my head, sitting next to her.
"Jimothy is this man I made up... I draw him all the time, and I.. you know what I'll just show you." She looks around, and I see her eye her bag. I get up for her, and grab it, bringing it back to her. She reaches inside, and pulls out a sketchbook, and she opens it, just to the first page. It's a detailed drawing of an old man, he's got a cool mustache, an incredibly detailed and fun sweater, and a monocle too. She drew texture on his baggy pants, but he's incredibly stylish for an older man.
"This is Jimothy?" I ask her, and she nods.
"I went to the coffee shop, like... all the time, and I always imagined the owner to be this cool dude named Jimothy that dressed like he robbed a thrift store. That's where my Jimothy drawings came from. There's one hanging in my living room." She tells me, shoving the sketchpad off of her lap. I flip through, and see this isn't only a few drawings. There's hundreds of Jimothy's.. All unique and fun, and fashionable in their own way. She's got a good style with these drawings, and I can see part of her own style peeking through in what the fictional old man wears.
"These are really good Scar... Did you use these for your intern approval?" I ask, and she shakes her head no.
"Oh god no. That devil of a woman would have laughed at these and then shredded them before she got the chance to cry at how bad she thinks they are. She's a bitter woman. She hates me, and I am insanely positive that she is never going to pass me." Scarlett rants and I shake my head, still looking at the old man on the sketch pad.
"These are new, and exciting while also showcasing an old and retro element... You truly are the kind of person I would write about darling..." I speak my mind, and turn to look at her, wishing I hadn't... That was a bit forward I guess.. Things go quiet between the two of us, and she shakes her head, and puts her chin in her hands.
"Why did you really leave Harry?" She asks me straight up, no games, no playing around. "I just mean.. I mean why did you tell me what you did, and then leave me like that?" She asks, and I feel a pang of guilt in my chest.
"I didn't leave because you weren't interested.. I wanted... I needed to go back home anyway. I planned to go home either way I just.. I didn't think I could go back to England without telling you how I felt Scarlett, and I'm not sorry about that." I admit.
"I blamed myself for you leaving you know?"
"No I didn't know.. You stopped talking to me." I turn it back around.
"I stopped talking to you because while you turned around to go back home, you forgot to look around and realize that some people around you thought of you as a home.." She tells me.
"And I understand that Scarlett but you can't hate me, and hold me responsible for your feelings.. I lo... I was so close with you, and your sister, and I counted on you just the same, but.. But I had to take care of myself.. And I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't gone back home to my family." I admit. I was never the first person to take care of myself but going home was the first step in that... It was the first step in really making sure I was doing right by myself and within that I was able to do right by everyone around me.. I want to show her that now. I'm afraid it's a little too late for that.
"It hurt both of us.. Me.. It hurt me more than you will ever know... I cried the summer away, I just wish you had told me sooner.. Instead of just springing it on me, and making it seem like if I had admitted I had feelings that you would have stayed... That was what hurt the most, I thought you... I really thought it was me, I did." She admits.
"It wasn't you, and it never would have been you and I'm sorry... I am so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for leaving without warning. I'm sorry for telling you my feelings Scarlett. I'm sorry for not trying to reach out, and just letting our friendship die. I'm sorry for not talking or checking up on Sierra.. I didn't realize things were bad between you and your parents the way they were. I didn't realize you and Sierra were..." I stop myself, thinking back to the apartment.
"Struggling? Barely scraping by?" She asks, and I don't want to nod but I do. "Well we are.. Currently, right now." She admits to me, talking to me like she used to.
"Can I-"
"No... I know I said I'll take all the help I can get but that's not fair.. You can't offer me something like money for rent, or help with bills or-"
"I was going to ask you to move in." I speak, and watch her jaw drop.
"As tempting as that is... No." She shakes her head, and crosses her arms.
"Are you... No offense Scar but are you dumb?" I ask, knowing this is a far better option than where she's at now.
"Yes actually.. But the reason I'm saying no isn't because I'm dumb it's because we aren't friends, and this isn't happening.. I agreed on Wednesday's today was an accident. I can't do this again with you." She shakes her head, and my heart sinks to the bottom of my chest. Understood.. Since we're not friends I might as well ask the questions I've been wanting to ask. I sit down and wait for an answer.
"You say you can't do this again but you already are darling." I call her out, and she throws her body back, her head resting on my thigh. She closes her eyes and her hair is thrown everywhere.
"We don't go together Harry." She argues, bringing up something more when it wasn't what I was speaking on in the first place.
"That's a matter of opinion... You're someone I think I would go great with, that's why we're hanging out." I motion around me, and she shakes her head.
"I'm not. I'm simply hanging out with you because you wouldn't take me home for some reason." She argues.
"I wasn't going to leave you in a place like that while you're drunk like this Scar... I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable with it." I argue, crossing my arms over my chest. I'm looking down at her, and her eyes don't open.
"Now I don't have my meds." She speaks, and I tilt my head.
"What meds? I might have something you can take." I tell her.
"I know you don't have my prescription meds." She shrugs.
"What prescription meds? For what?" I ask. She hadn't taken anything serious when we were friends all those years ago, and I know so much time has gone by but I just... I hadn't thought things had changed this much.
"Anxiety, depression, sleep, birth control." She lists them off, and I nod my head.
"When did you start taking all of that Scar?" I ask, and she sits up again, moving away from me.
"About two months after you left." She tells me with a sigh, and my heart drops.
"For what reason?" I ask, not wanting to pry, but also just wanting to know... Every detail of the life I left behind here.
"Because everything left at once Harry. You left, my parents kicked us out. I got fired from my job I... Everything happened at once, and I lost my home, and I... I don't know." She shakes her head, and I do the same, looking down at my hands.
"I didn't know... I wish I had known." I tell her honestly.
"No you don't because there's nothing you could have done halfway around the world. You know I'm not just talking about losing a place either when I talk about home." She speaks softly, and gets up. I watch her walk around the couch, more stable than before, and it's too early for her to go to bed, but I still wonder what she's doing. "Which room am I allowed to stay in?" She asks, and I shake my head.
"I haven't set up any of my guest bedrooms darling... Mine is up the stairs." I nod to them, and she shakes her head, but before she can speak I nod again. "Don't argue. Go upstairs, and rest.. I'll be down here. I didn't spend all this money on this couch for it to be uncomfortable." I raise my eyebrows, and she doesn't argue. She doesn't speak. She just keeps her arms crossed over her chest, and she leaves me, walking up the stairs. Her last words sit on my chest, and I realize that I didn't leave a person. I left pieces, and it's not my job to put those pieces back together but to pick them up, and give them back to her.. There's a lot I have to make right.
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A/N: alright I'm sorry for not updating.
I had a medical situation and literally the next day I drove 4 hours to Nashville to see Harry for the first time ever! I was LaneOne and I am so happy and grateful I had this experience.
I'm going to 3 more shows, follow my Instagram
@emmacantrelll or my Tik Tok
@emmakcantrelll for updates!
I love you guys so much and I'll be updating more often! * virtual hugs* and also enjoy this picture of Harry I took(,: