Song:
Dollhouse (Melanie Martinez)
"Everyone thinks that we're perfect..."
"Try again." Remus urged, watching with a straight face as Callisto muttered the spell for what seemed to be the millionth time, only to fail miserably. She was getting increasingly frustrated with every try, her hand movement getting sloppy and her concentration on visualising the birds coming out of her wand cracking under her anger.
"Avis!" Once again, nothing came out and Callisto groaned in frustration, plopping on the couch next to Remus. It had been a relatively difficult week, and she was one bloody spell away from jumping off the window, which leads us to a brief description of why an angry Callisto Claire is a natural disaster.
It all starts with something major happening and hurting her. Unfortunately, the lack of true parental figures without as much as an explanation (aka: mummy and daddy issues), combined with staying in an institute full of future questionable personalities result in a very faulty perception of how people should handle their emotions. Instead of bottling up and then bursting over something insignificant (cough, bird conjuration spell, cough), Callisto needed to talk.
And talk she didn't, so now she was feeling rather murderous and Remus Lupin's current escapades with Serena Callum certainly didn't bloody help.
"You need to concentrate more." Remus advised, watching as she ran a hand through her pink hair. Her robes had long been discarded, leaving her in the inner layer of her uniform and there was a smudge of black ink on her cheek from accidentally breaking her pen. Remus extended his hand, wiping away the ink with his thumb. A series of electrical jolts erupted on her cheek and she slightly pulled away, looking at him utterly confused.
"What are you doing?"
"You had ink on your cheek." Remus pointed out, thrown off by her snappy tone. Feeling his own stomach turn with anger, he turned back to the front, loosening the tie around his neck. Callisto observed the simple movement, her eyes glued on his hands. Even though his fingers came in contact with her skin for barely a few seconds, she could still sense the feathery touch.
"Sorry." She blurted out, gnawing on her cheek as he glanced at her, a surprised look in his dark brown eyes. Why the fuck is he staring at me like that? "What?"
"Did you just apologize?" He questioned, not believing his own ears. It felt unnatural to hear the word tumble off her lips, seeing as she hadn't uttered it even when she accidentally knocked over a first year and sent a large pile of essays on the floor.
"Did you just make a stupid question?" She mumbled, feeling her cheeks flare red. No, something was undoubtedly wrong with her and being so close to him only made it worse. Maybe she should try and stay away from him, but there was a certain anticipation prior to meeting him and a feeling of unusual giddiness when they were finally studying together that was too good to ignore.
"And now you're blushing." Remus acknowledged, enjoying the flushed look on her face that wouldn't have moved him half as much if he wasn't the one causing it. With a newfound cockiness that would have made Sirius proud, he smirked. "Am I making you blush, Claire?"
"Not in the way I would have liked." She hinted, reciprocating the smirk. "I'm sure Serena would be delighted to see how much you can make her blush, though."
"Jealous?"
"Of what? Dora the Explorer's long lost cousin?" She sneered, chosing not to pay further attention to the prospect of him being right. Why would she be jealous? She had a perfectly capable Luke Pucey by her side almost every minute of the day and it looked like whatever feelings he had about her were sincere. Callisto never did give in to the grandes gestures of romance, a sign of empty promises, but Luke wasn't too bad. Perhaps not as funny or clever as she would have liked, but who is perfect anyway?
"No, you do have a point." Remus agreed, cringing slightly at the bitter feeling. "After all, you seem pretty good with Pucey."
"I know." She said, pointing her wand at the tapestry opposite from them. "Avis!"
She pursed her lips in annoyance as nothing happened again, when she heard Remus chuckling next to her.
"You're going to poke someone's eye out." He scolded, sitting up straight and inching closer to her. A bit hesitantly, he put one hand on her back and the other around her own, making sure that she was gripping the wand correctly. Callisto tried to focus on the spell, getting too distracted by the sound of his husky voice that close to her ear. Scolding herself for thinking like that, she swallowed the lump in her throat and following Remus' instructions, a flock of birds flew out of her wand.
"Did you see that?" She asked excitedly, not processing how stupid her question sounded. Remus looked at her, a small smile forming on his lips at how her whole face brightened up. "I did it! Remus, I fucking did it!"
"You called me Remus."
"Would you rather I call you something else? Because I have a list." She sarcastically responded, trying to play off the slip up as cooly as possible because bloody hell, she really did not intend to call him Remus.
"No, I'm gonna stick with Remus." Merlin, she really had called him Remus. Never in his entire life had he been so happy to hear somebody call him by his fist name and it would have been a scary revelation, hadn't it been for how the word resembled a song as it fell from her lips.
"Well then, Remus." She smiled, getting up from her seat. "I'd love to stay more with you and turn this place into a zoo, but I have to go."
"Where?" He questioned, hoping that her answer wouldn't be anywhere near to including Luke Pucey.
"Luke has practise and I'm feeling supportive."
"Oh..." He muttered, not planning to sound as disappointed as he did. Of course she had to go and watch Luke's practice. Half the castle knew that these two were involved with eaxchother romantically after Pucey's displays of affection. Had they kissed yet? The thought of him kissing her made him feel sick to his stomach. Who the hell was Luke Pucey to be that close to her and why the hell did he care so bloody much? Serena was practically picture perfect, and never did she once make him feel frustrated like Callisto did on a daily basis. "Have fun, Listo."
"Goodnight, Remus." She winked at him, spinning on her heel and walking away. Remus observed her retreating figure, rubbing his temples as the last wisp of pink hair disappeared.
What the hell was she doing to him?
~ ~ ~
The air blew like a forgotten lullaby, narrating the stories of evil men and brave knights as the intoxicating scent of the ground after the rain mixed with the heavy smell of smoke, rising in distorted spirals in the night. Although the Astronomy Tower was so high that just being close to the ledge made you feel like your arms would get replaced by strong wings, Callisto found herself still able to make out the different trees sprawling on the grounds almost artistically. She wasn't high enough. Tapping her finger on the lit cigarette, she observed the ash sprinkling on the stone ledge and the red light flickering.
"That's my spot, Blondie." The familiar voice of Sirius Black rang in her ears. Ignoring the sound of footsteps approaching her, she exhaled some of the smoke through her nostrils. The rings rapidly disappeared in the air, casting a veil in front of her eyes.
"Next time piss on it so people know it's marked." She drawled, hoping that he would get annoyed enough to leave her alone. Instead, she was met with a warm, genuine chuckle as he sat next to her.
"I'll keep that in mind." He agreed, taking out a cigarette of his own. "Now tell me, what brought you up here?"
"I'll take a wild guess and say it was my legs."
"Blondie," Sirius shook his head, lighting the cigarette with a muggle lighter. "I'm serious."
Callisto observed as the small, red, plastic lighter landed on the ground, looking completely out of place. It was truly surprising, how unnatural the simplest muggle objects looked when they were brought at the castle. It was nothing but a mundane lighter, no fancy monograms or vintage designs, and yet, she couldn't be more fascinated and irked at the same time by its sight. She didn't really register when her hand slipped in the deep pocket of her sweater, getting lost in the fabric before her fingers brushed against the paper folder. She handed the letter to him, his eyes falling on the golden wax sealing it.
"Go ahead." She muttered, looking at the letter with a deep disgust in her eyes. Sirius broke the seal, a bit reluctantly. He hadn't seen such a formal way of sending a letter in years, the cold wax bringing back memories of a fourteen-year-old Sirius, receiving a disappointed letter from Walburga Black about his recent misbehaving.
His eyes scanned the contents, confusion striking him the more he read. It was from her parents (apparently wicked witches don't just grow from trees), and it was sweet in a naïve, desperate way. He could hear the maternal tone in Vera's words as if she was whispering in his ears and yet, Callisto was sitting on the Astronomy Tower with a cigarette like she had heard the worst possible news.
"I don't understand." He mumbled, his finger brushing over the last three words of the letter
Love,
Your mother.
"Neither do I." She stated, turning to look at him. "This woman calls herself my mother and I simply cannot comprehend where she got the impression that I want anything to do with her."
"You're either very ungrateful, or sick in the head..." He murmured, taking a drag out of his cigarette. She should be happy. In fact, she should be more than happy. Callisto Claire should be flying over the fucking clouds because her mother didn't curse her with every chance she got, nor did she call her a disappointment for breathing "the wrong way". Yes, "the wrong way" as in breathing at all to begin with.
Because in Walburga Black's eyes, it would have been much better if Sirius was dead.
A hollow laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head, annoyance filling Sirius. If only she knew how lucky she was...
"Bit of both." She admitted, her legs swinging over the ledge. "To make the long story short, my parents decided that they didn't want a child because God forbid the infant cries or gets sick, and they sent me off to my aunt like I was a bloody chihuahua. And as if that's not fucked up enough, they suddenly stopped writing back to me after I turned ten because they got too attached to their own bloody child! And you know what they do now, Black? They regret everything and they want me back. I'm not a person with feelings! No, I'm a fucking ball getting passed around for everyone to have a kick!"
There was it, the feeling of regret, making Sirius want to take back the harsh comment. Somewhere among the snappy attitude, the constant flirting with his best friend and the borderline murderous habits, Sirius had forgotten Remus mentioning at some point over the summer that Callisto and her parents got along as well as a shark with fish. And it was stupid because after all, they had put up the same walls. At least now he knew they were unbreakable...
"Is that why you were in Bulgaria?" He asked, burying the guilt deep down. "Were you adopted by a family there?"
"My aunt couldn't have a child and she took me in." Callisto explained, stubbing the cigarette out on the ground. "Elena was sent to Durmstrang for school, but both my parents came to Hogwarts. I thought I'd hate it here to be honest."
"Elena? Elena Claire?" Sirius questioned, scolding himself for not making the connection earlier. "She's your aunt?"
"That's what I just said, isn't it?" Callisto pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "She's the exact opposite from what you see on the papers. Actually, the only thing she's ever done in public that wasn't part of the 'pure blooded prick' act was punching a guy for harassing a squib."
"I thought she was a bitch..." Sirius admitted. Albeit a very skilled healer, Elena put on a show every time she went out that could only rival Callisto's when she was with the Lawsons. Hidden under the perfect picture image of a young, successful woman with her brain in her head and her beliefs in the 18th century, there was one of the most compassionate and open-minded people to ever lay foot on this Earth. Unfortunately, the only people seeing that side (her true side) were dear Callisto and Nicholas Lawson with the exception of a few other selected people.
"Being a woman and a healer in Bulgaria isn't easy, Black." Callisto spoke, recalling all the times Elena had returned home and the moment the door closed shut, she raised her middle finger whilst shouting out a name. "She prefers to lie in public if that means that she can help someone in secret."
"Who would have guessed that the famous Elena Claire is actually a good person." Sirius pondered, chuckling lightly. "Unfortunately, in my house we didn't have any underlying rebels. There was only me, my uncle Alphonso and my cousin, Andromeda. All disowned, of course."
"Why? Did you forget to recite a long list of people that deserve death before dinner?"
"No, I just got sorted into Gryffindor and it kind of went downhill from there." Sirius explained, lighting Callisto's cigarette. "Associating with muggle-borns, half-bloods and blood-traitors, constantly getting in trouble at school, talking back to them..."
"Associating with those people?" Callisto asked in mock outrage. "How dare you, Mr. Black? What is next? Marrying someone that isn't your cousin? Is that how you plan on preserving the purity of our blood line?"
Sirius' eyes widened at how similar she sounded to his mother, snorting when he noticed that she had even raised her head ever so slightly.
"You know what I say?" He continued, adopting the same snobbish attitude. "I say, let them die! Or better, let's torture them and then kill them all!"
"I am a racist, I dislike everyone except for my cousins and my parents work for a murderer." Callisto mocked, extending her hand. "Do you want to be my friend?"
"First cousins of second cousins?"
"Does it matter?" She responded, furrowing her eyebrows. "Imagine being so disgusted by other people that you inbreed..."
"One of the many reasons my parents need marriage counseling." Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "You know what, Blondie? Fuck em all!"
"Cheers to that, Sirius!" She agreed, tapping her cigarette with his as if it was a glass of wine.
"Did I just get upgraded to first name basis? Remus is going to be really mad that he has competition for your heart."
"First of all, you're not a Black. Not only because you got disowned, but because you're not like them." Callisto stated, watching as a small, genuine smile etched on his lips. "Second of all, Remus and I are friends and he isn't interested in me. In case the nicotine hit you in the head and you can't think things straight, he's with Callum. And finally, I wouldn't go near you with a ten foot pole."
"I'm not a Black?"
"No, you're just Sirius."
"And you wouldn't go near me with a ten foot pole?"
"If I was drowning and you were the only person close, I'd try to die faster so that you wouldn't have the time to save me."
"And Callum is with Remus?"
"Obviously." Callisto sneered, her mind trailing off to the multiple times she had seen the pair sitting in the library a bit too close for her own liking. "Baffles me how he's interested in her, but I guess everyone is entitled to poor judgement."
"And you would much rather if he was interested in you?" Sirius hinted, observing for the slightest change in her bored expression. "Are you baffled, Callisto, or just jealous?"
"Me being jealous of Serena is like a cat being jealous of a mouse." She responded, looking him dead in the eye. "Not possible."
"You are so bloody jealous..." Sirius snickered, averting his gaze to the window. "Poor Lukey Luke thinks he has you all to himself, but it's another boy you long for."
"Let's get one thing straight." Callisto angrily muttered, pointing at him with the stubbed out cigarette. "Whatever theory you have formed with your friends about me having some sort of 'unresolved, deep feelings' about Remus, is a bunch of bullshit. Fairytales are nice, Sirius, but it's time to come back to reality."
"Funny how you talk about fairytales when you're living in the biggest one of them all." Sirius retorted, his voice resembling the calm sea compared to Callisto's défensive one. "You have started developing feelings for him and don't try to deny it. I see how you look at him."
She scoffed, "And how do I look at him, oh fair and observant one?"
"The same way he looks at you." He smirked, the smoke rising in spirals. "Like you're playing a game of fuck, marry, kill and he's all three."
"You have no idea what you're talking about."
He just smirked, and somehow, that was even worse than everything he could utter. Callisto Claire would be dammed, but Sirius looked like a fucking prophet of some weird cult, with the smoke framing his figure as the scent of petrichor mixed with the cigarettes. No, despite what he was claiming, she was feeling nothing for Remus.
"If there's a thing I know, it's attraction. And you're both reeking of it."