Hey yall! I've decided that before i slap you in the face with angst, i'm gonna give you incorrect quotes part 3, ft. The Adventure Line.
Stanley: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Narrator: Nope, absolutely not.
Mariella: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Tor: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Curator: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
The Adventure Line: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.
(JESUS CHRIST POOR STANLEY)
Stanley: Narrator... How do I begin to explain Narrator?
Mariella: Narrator is flawless.
Tor: I hear their hair's insured for $10,000.
Curator: I hear they do car commercials... in Japan.
The Adventure Line: One time they punched me in the face... it was awesome.
(All hail Narrator)
Stanley: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Narrator: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Stanley: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Mariella: Actually I did the math, Narrator would have $225, not $0.15.
Narrator: Fam I'm right here....
Tor: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Stanley: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Tor: Sorry I only have a dollar
Stanley: :(
Mariella: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Narrator would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Tor: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Mariella: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Curator: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Mariella: Apply juice to what
The Adventure Line: Directly to the forehead
Narrator: Great chat everyone
(While you're there, can you get me some chocolate)
'Can I copy the homework?'
Stanley: I can help you with it!
Narrator: Yeah, sure.
Mariella: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Tor: lol nope.
The Adventure Line: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Curator: *Read 5:55pm*
(Curator why you gotta be like that)
*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Mariella: Thanks fam!
Curator: oh no
Stanley: *cries* I love you too
Tor: Sounds fake but okay
Narrator: *A flustered mess*
The Adventure Line: can i get a refund
(Headcanon: The Narrator get's embarrassed easily.)
Stanley: Dumbest scar stories, go!
The Adventure Line: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Mariella: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Tor: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Curator: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Narrator:
Narrator: I have emotional scars.
(Give the man a hug)
Stanley: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Narrator: >:O language
Mariella: Yeah watch your fucking language
Tor: OKAY WHO TAUGHT MARIELLA THE FUCK WORD?
Curator: 'The fuck word'.
The Adventure Line: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Mariella: Oh my god they censored it
Curator: Say fuck, Adventure Line.
Mariella: Do it, Adventure Line. Say fuck.
(Do it, pussy)
Stanley: We need to distract these guys
Narrator: Leave it to me
Narrator: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Mariella, Tor, and Curator: *Immediately begin arguing*
The Adventure Line, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.
(Narrator what have you done)
Narrator: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Stanley: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Mariella: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Stanley, learn to listen.
Curator: What if it bites itself and I die?
Tor: That's voodoo.
The Adventure Line: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Stanley: That's correlation, not causation.
Curator: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Tor: That's kinky.
Narrator: Oh my God.
(Tor, WHY)
Stanley: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I'm torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Narrator: Okay, but what is updog?
Mariella: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Tor: Not, that's a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Curator: No, that's an update. You're thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
The Adventure Line: Surely, that's Uppsala, where's updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Stanley: That's Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Tor: You're thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Mariella: No, that's an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Narrator: What's a henway??
Stanley: Oh, about five pounds.
(What the hell is happening im so confused)
Stanley: Croissants: dropped
Narrator: Road: works ahead
Mariella: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Tor: Shavacado: fre
The Adventure Line: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Curator:
Curator, grumpy: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you
(Curator is uncultured)
Stanley: Rules are made to be broken.
Narrator: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Mariella: Uh, piñatas.
Tor: Glow sticks.
Curator: Karate boards.
The Adventure Line: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Stanley: Rules.
Narrator:
(Narrator.exe has failed to load)
Stanley: Hewwo.
Mariella: Hihiiiiii!
Narrator: Greetings, Humans.
Curator: Three kinds of people.
Tor: I want pudding.
Stanley: Four kinds of people.
The Adventure Line: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Curator: Five kinds of people.
(Well now i want pudding)
*The squad is over at Stanley's house*
Narrator: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Stanley: ... N-No...
Stanley, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Narrator, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Mariella: I see a-
Stanley, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Narrator: Oh, well I-
Stanley: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Stanley, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Tor: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Curator: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Stanley: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Stanley: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Stanley, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Stanley: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
The Adventure Line, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Stanley:
Narrator: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Stanley:
Stanley, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A MAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
(Stanley Parable + Markiplier = perfection)
Stanley: Time for plan G.
Narrator: Don't you mean plan B?
Stanley: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Mariella: What about plan D?
Stanley: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Tor: What about plan E?
Stanley: I'm hoping not to use it. Curator dies in plan E.
The Adventure Line: I like plan E.
(Headcanon: the curator is immortal and nothing can kill the Narrators except for the curator)
Curator, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Narrator: Hey.
Mariella: Hi.
Tor: Hello.
Stanley: Hey!
Curator: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
The Adventure Line: We were out of Doritos.
(We need them doritos)
Stanley: I CAN'T DO IT!
Narrator, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Stanley: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Mariella: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Stanley:
Stanley: I appreciate it,
Stanley: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Tor: Stanley-
Stanley: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Curator: Stanley we gotta-
Stanley: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Stanley: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Stanley, motioning to The Adventure Line: NOT FUCKING THIS
(Headcanon: Everyone views The Adventure Line as the annoying little sibling)
Mariella: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Curator: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
Mariella: Three of us saw it, Curator. How do you explain that?
Narrator: *points at Narrator* Sleep deprivation. *points at Stanley* Paranoia. *points at Tor and The Adventure Line* Delusional personality disorder.
(Oof)
Well, that's it. Bye bye!