Sammayra's POV -
I was sitting in my Balcony when Connor was busy playing with his friend who is also our neighbour.
Sitting with a book in my hands, and a cup of tea, this is the only thing that helps me think better, be a little calm.
I did go to therapy.
One thing I didn't do, which I was yearning to do, was meet him.
Meet the guy I am in love with, but I am not sure, if he feels the same, and I am quite sure, that he must be married after almost 6 years.
I don't want to get between his "maybe" happy world with his "maybe" partner.
But there was something which was making me feel I needed to see him. And one more thing which I have planned on, is-- to go out of this state and settle somewhere else, building new memories, where everything would be different.
Where there will be no one whom I would know, I want to start new, not that I want to run away from places, not that I was afraid of anyone.
But I do believe that I need a change in my life.
I don't want to ruin Connor's small little social life, he wouldn't understand what I am doing.
I have name and fame, I just want to get away from here meet some new people, not only this city makes me remember people who are not with me and their hollow promises.
But -- also things I don't want to remember.
Furthermore, I don't want to remember things in hindsight with Raphael, I don't know deep down I want to meet him, see him, what he has been up to, what he is doing, what happened to him.
It's been 5 years he told me he wanted to see Connor, and I also owe him one thing, whatever he will ask I have to do.
I can't just go from here, thinking there is nothing I have to do and change and just change my life.
Everyone is living theirs, but it doesn't matter if he's married, or not, I just want to meet him and I don't want to be one of the people who make hollow promises.
—
(Guys here the part will be copied from the "Ending — 2" if you wanna skin go to the next underscore mark)
I am already driving towards his house, no matter what happens let's just face it, Connor was sitting beside the irony was making me laugh, that my son was going to meet my uh.... Let's just call it a deep -- you know what I know, I love him.
I was in front of his house, hundreds of questions were still coming in my head, but I was dodging just fine, I am kinda afraid of seeing him.
What if, after all these 6 years, his girlfriend or wife opened the door?
I gulped and walked towards the huge wooden door.
Pressing the bell, I took some steps behind, and Connor was just as curious as I was, but he looked more intrigued towards the little dolls standing in the garden, the way he was staring.
The door opened, and just to my horror, there was a lady standing, she looked 40 – 45 years old, she can't be his mother.
Was Raphael into older women?
My heart started clenching inside my rib cage, I didn't want to see him any more.
I was about to just walk away without any word, when I heard.
"Ma'am may I know your name, sir is in his room, I can call him if you want to meet?"
I was almost stuttering at this moment, my heart beat took a leap, then only I heard the voice, which I heard years ago, my insides just melted.
"Who is it, Marian?"
I took a deep breath when he came forward, wearing his loose grey sweatpants hanging on his waist, with a basic white tee. He looked even more handsome, his hair was just messy the right amount, looking at him was making me feel so many things together. We both were staring at each other, I was not able to capture his reaction, what he was thinking, was he happy, not?
I gripped Connor's finger tighter, then only his gaze fell towards him, he looked at Connor with a little smile and furrowed eyebrows as he was surprised, then only the woman broke the silence, "Sir she came to--"
He showed her his palm in between and said, "Marian, you can continue inside, I'll take care here."
In my peripheral vision she nodded and walked towards what felt like the kitchen.
He took some steps behind, inviting both of us inside.
He closed the door, I was already inside, and noticed the house just as it was before.
"I don't like changing my environment a lot, Sammayra."
I almost closed my eyes when my name fell from his tongue ever so soothingly.
He was literally killing my butterflies right now, I was kind of surprised, seeing myself so childish with my own child.
He ushered both of us near the couch and yelled, "Marian, get us two cups of Vanilla bean tea, please."
Hearing her yell a 'yes', back made sure she was the maid.
I was sitting on the couch, and he was just standing there looking at me deeply, Connor was long busy near the collection of some little cars, showcased under the TV. I was getting a little flushed under his gaze, I shifted in my place.
Finally, I decided to look at him, and he was smiling. What I noticed was a drop of tear resting on the side of his eyes.
He quickly wipes it and settles down by himself beside me.
"So... you finally decided to show your beautiful face after 5 years, hmm?" He asked with a smile still on his face.
I squirmed at my place and said, "Uh... yeah... how are you, Raphael?"
" Oh damn, I almost forgot that your voice sounded this sweet." He threw his head back a little, making me blush harder.
"Uh...so how are you... your-- wife?"
"Wait- wha--"
He chuckled, and saw me with furrowed eyebrows with his small smile, "You really thought that I would marry?"
"Uh... yeah I mean-- it's been almost 6 years, Raphael, and I just--"
"Nah-- someone was there who kept me in hope, so yeah, marrying and falling for someone else was just more difficult than I thought it would be."
When he finished I felt that again, that anyone could be like this, Nathan said he would wait, but he didn't.
He never told me to wait, but he expected me to come one day, and it made him wait 5 plus years, I felt like I would just cry.
But I felt his hand touching my shoulder, sending shivers down my body.
"Sammayra, yeah I did wait, but you know what? I had no idea when I would meet you, but this was the sweetest wait of 5 years ever, I never knew I would be so whipped for someone. I see that you have a handsome son now?"
I looked at Connor who was looking in the small glass aquarium, squished nose where all the fishes were slowly swimming.
Furthermore, I smiled at him and nodded.
I looked straight at Raphael and really felt how attracted I was to him.
"I have a son... Raphael." I said slowly.
I don't know if he would still like me that way, I have a kid, he is single, I don't know if I should put myself on him.
"I know Sammayra and he's as beautiful as you."
I started looking on the floor, when his finger came in contact with my chin, and he made me look at himself, then only I noticed his wrist.
There was a tattoo, I never thought Raphael would have a tattoo on him.
But what made me breathless was what that tattoo said, "La beauté unpardonable... Sammayra".
I left a small breath when I concluded the meaning, it meant, "The Unforgivable beauty... Sammayra."
I kept staring at that tattoo when he understood and said, "yeah, I needed something to remind me of whom I met."
I was looking at him with amused gaze, surprised at his actions.
—
I needed to say this, "Raphael... I- I am going."
He furrowed his eyebrows and I noticed a quick emotion flowing though his eyes which quickly hid from me.
I knew he was expecting me to be here.
"Uh... w-where Sammayra? I thought you were coming here, I was waiting for you, it's been so long, I get it, you can't love m--"
"I love you, Raphael." I said it before he could finish, I wanted him to know that he has earned a place in my heart already.
He looked into my eyes with furrowed eyebrows and unbelievable gaze.
"You do...?" He asked like he was not able to believe what I said.
"Way more than I can express, all of this time, I loved you, Raphael." I started looking at the floor.
"T-then why do you want to go... Sammayra I love you so much more. I want you with me, is there something wrong? Why do you want to leave?" desperation laced in his voice.
"Raphael, I am so sorry, but for the first time, I need this, and this is the only way, I can find, to make myself worthy of something more, to see and knock my limits, I am aware that I can do things here, but maybe this country is also not for me."
I said looking on the floor, shaking my head slowly trying to avoid his eye contact.
I was feeling bad, but I wanted this, this was so selfish leaving him after all these years when he was waiting for me.
"I understand Sammayra..." he said pressing my shoulders lightly in assurance.
"You do?" I asked him in confusion.
He nodded and said, "But you remember you said I can ask for anything, and you will not deny?"
I nodded with a small smile, reciprocating his.
" I am in love with you, and to be honest I want to keep loving you, so just allow me to love you, not married of course, but can I at least be someone whom you love too...?"
This was making things so difficult, I am not that selfish that I would want him like this, he has a life which he should be investing his time for and anyway there are girls who would die to get a guy like Raphael.
"Raphael this really makes me so greedy, I can't be like this, I can't pursue you. You have a life which has a lot to see ahead, and you don't need to be with me, who is questioning herself."
"You don't know Sammayra you allowing me to love you would be a blessing, I just want to be if nothing then just someone in your life, a small part in your life."
I started looking at the wall trying to avoid his eye contact, looking back at him, I noticed him bowing down to me, on his knees, his one hand on his chest, and his head bowed down towards my feet.
I gasped and got up from the couch and grabbed his shoulders, tying to make him get up.
"Raphael, please, what are you doing?"
"I have fell for you, you're the queen I want, just let me be, let me be a small part of your life, Sammayra."
I knew that I couldn't avoid him, he got up as I used him to and the next thing I knew was my lips being on top of him, he was the warmest and safest feeling in the world.
I also deserve this happiness... Don't I?
I pulled back and looked into his eyes with my watery ones.
He wiped the tears slowly with his thumbs and I knew this one was going to be the one...
Which will make me feel, make me live and I want to live I want to feel, maybe I also deserve this much happiness, and he is my happiness.
I can't deny him.
I nodded slowly towards him, and he was smiling.
His beautiful smile made my heart swell with happiness and I hugged his strong frame feeling safer.
When he was rubbing my back, I heard a small voice near my legs, "I want a hug too momma..."
I smiled and looked at the small boy who made my world better.
Before I could do anything, he picked him up and hugged him tight, Connor looked weirdly comfortable with Raphael. He was not this comfortable with everyone around him.
"Momma who is he?"
I forgot that I still haven't introduced Raphael to my son.
Raphael was about to say, "Son I am your mom's fr--"
"He is your dad Connor. Your dad." I said smiling, which made Raphael look at me surprisingly and he burst into a smile, he looked so emotional with this small thing.
I don't know why I want Connor to call him dad whenever he does. I don't know.
"Dad!! like my friends have?"
He said excitedly.
We both nodded at the same time.
Then, only to make things way better, he pecked Raphael's cheek.
Which made me and him chuckle at the same time.
-
(6 months late)
"Mom, a-and I made so many friends here also, you know the teacher called me a smart boy, I am so happy momma." Connor continued, happily, as I was making his lunch.
"Oh yes honey?"
"YES!, and I helped one of the girls, because 2-3 guys were making her feel bad, and they called her ugly."
I looked towards him at this, remembering something from my childhood, "Baby, why didn't you tell your teacher about him? Is she okay? what happened?"
"Yeah-- mom I told the teacher but she didn't do anything, and that girl thanked me later, she was happy that I was on her side." He said while looking at the floor. "If dad would have been there she would have been happier right mommyyyy?"
My eyes widened as a layer of blush coted up on my cheeks, he knew him calling Raphael's dad was doing something to me.
"N--No kid, you were there and you were so strong because you eat spinach." I said quickly and turned towards the drawers, to avoid his gaze.
I slowly heard him chuckle then he said, "But dadddyyy....."
"CONNOR!!!" I said loudly
"DAD!!!"
"BABY!! BABY!-- I mean Sammayra!"
I turned towards the commotion to see Raphael standing near the entrance of the kitchen as Connor ran towards him to evolve him in a hug.
I was so surprised, that I literally didn't care about my actions, went near him and kissed him. I could feel him surprised but he kissed me back.
I was not in the sense I guess.
I am seeing him after 5 months, he came to visit me after 1 month.
Pulling back looking into his eyes.
"Uh... momma you know that I am in his arms right now right?" I heard a small voice under my chin, Connor was indeed in his arms right now.
If I was already not embarrassed, now I surely am.
"Your momma is a crazy son, we should go and play with the iron man's I brought for you."
I narrowed my eyes towards Raphael who literally called me crazy.
'I'll kill you', I silently mouthed.
When he smooched in reply.
I was smiling absentmindedly, he makes me feel I am in a new love all over again every time I see him.
As they continued playing with the small figures of super heroes, I went to my room and settled down on the small 2 seater couch kept in my balcony.
Breathing nicely and enjoying the sky.
It's been 6 months of me being here in Switzerland, I have never been happier, the neighbours are great, the school and thank god that my baby has got his small friends.
Indeed it is easy to make friends when you are just a kid.
I really want Connor to grow up to be a great personality, down to earth, successful man.
I don't know what he will do in his future, but I wish he wouldn't turn out to be someone who misuses their resources.
I will provide him with everything.
I am not married to Raphael, I am not near Nathan my past who made a promise of waiting but the person who never even knew me that much waited not for just 1 year but 6 years.
The real person took two bad to pass from me.
I was nowhere near Ashton and I couldn't be careless. This is the first time I am not worried about someone coming home early, this time I am not afraid of someone cheating on me just because they are in bad mood.
This time I am not afraid of someone not being loyal to me.
And I guess at the end of the day... I do deserve to be at least free from mind.
I am doing great, I am not depressed anymore.
Raphael made sure that my mental health is great, not only that but my dream of having my own global company is gonna be true in next 2 months.
I have made a company on my own.
I have a kid who loves me, and a boyfriend cum husband cum friend cum my love, cum my baby daddy who loves me more than anything which is clearly visible in his eyes.
I am happy.
Truly.
This decision of me being independent and making myself feel like I can do a lot from when I was 16 is finally true.
Took a long time but I am happy with what I have finally got.
I closed my eyes in relaxation, breathing deeply.
Raphael's POV -
Playing with Connor was just my favourite thing, I don't know why my friends who were dad used to find it boring? He is one of the best kids I have ever seen.
His beautiful cheeks and face makes me remember of only one beauty, who is maybe in her room leaving me hear with one sleeping Connor in my arms.
Laying him down on the couch, after putting a blanket, and putting another couch in front so he wouldn't fall.
I am very happy that I get chance to come here, I just feel like shifting to this beautiful city, it is a little cold but damn I love it here, maybe I just find this city a city but that beautiful in front of it is for someone else.
She makes me smile like I Am always in a new found love.
I cannot believe how anyone like her went though something which she should never have seen.
I really feel bad, but I promise to myself that I will be there no matter what happens.
The hot chocolate was ready in a cup.
Stepping up on staircases I went near her as I saw her silhouette, sitting on the couch behind those glass windows.
She was sitting with eyes closed, and before disturbing her I wanted to just observe the beauty in front of me.
Her beautiful shoulder length silk like hair, her curtain bangs falling on her face, her plump full lips, long lashes, cheek bones that sharp jaw, her collar bone, and heck that small mole near her eyes.
I will die-- "don't you think it's bad habit to stare at someone especially when they are trying to relax."
I was surprised as she started speaking, I handed her the hot chocolate, saying "you're not they madam you're my girlfriend, and mother of my son."
She smiled widely showing me her teeth, and i pulled her to me.
She sipped the hot chocolate, and moaned from the taste.
Getting in her room I said, "uh don't you think you should also ask me, to have it?"
"Uh.. this is mine...you can make another one for yourself doctor."
Heck she kills me everytime when calling me doctor.
"Okay, but just a taste?"
"hmmm.... okay fine."
I quickly wrapped my hand around her slender waist and kissed her, sucking her lips gently. I could feel her gasp, but she continued eventually.
Pulling back,"Damn it tastes good."
"youuu--mmh---"
I kissed her again, and she stumbled making both of us fall on the bed. I was on top of her, as I dipped my face in her neck I felt her body sensitively reacting to my touches, as I was touching her for the first time.
She was just the most right, she was the best, she was the best, she was just right.
I love you Sammayra, the independent and strong woman.
I love you...
Author's Note:
Wait. Am I third wheeling them?
Well Guys this is where I rest my case and this book finishes, Marriage with the enemy after more than 50 chapters.
After almost a year as I started this book last year on Nove 29. 2020
When my inexperienced ass thought, "hmmm.... I want to write a story which I want to read, and the way I want it, because I am tired of women's always losing at the end, This. is. not. fair."
After me reading almost 900 books I started writing, fictions non fictions, self help, psychology.
You can say starting from fictions made me a reader, cuz I was never a reader.
Love you all lots of love for giving my book all this love.
Thanks for clicking on this book and deciding to read. Meant a lot.
I would love if you tell me what did you liked particularly about this book.
And epilouges of all 3 endings will be in front of you...Soon?
Yeah maybe.
You never know.
I can finally write mafia's secret.