Nicole banged on the door of Waverly's wagon, Wynonna's voice yelling from inside. "Alright, alright, hold your horses."
The door flew open, nearly knocking Nicole off the steps. "She is in the stables," she pointed. "In the stables."
"Waverly's sick. Don't look too right."
Wynonna grabbed her coat and boots, scrambling to put everything on at once, as she followed Nicole back the way she came. Waverly was still sitting on the hay bale when they entered, Wynonna putting an arm round her sister's shoulder. "What's wrong? You look really pale."
"I'm fine. A little tired that's all."
"Come and rest. Nicole can see to the horses."
"She can't. She's not well. She should be in bed."
Wynonna looked at Nicole for help. "N, tell her she needs to rest."
"Wyn, you know she can't hear. Let me finish here, please. I need to do this."
"I keep forgetting she can't hear. N, I would just like to say I'm glad you're alive, but you were an arse running off like that, leaving my sister worried sick, and..."
"Wyn, stop. That's really cruel of you," Waverly yelled, her eyes filling with tears. "Her life hasn't been easy. And, I made it worse."
"I'll grant you that. Two weeks knowing you and she's now deaf, limps and has a stupid smile on her face all the time."
Waverly lashed out, catching Wynonna on the shoulder with her fist. "I hate you. I wish I had gone with mama and papa to Italy. You're just jealous I have someone."
"Right. Jealous. Of Miss Hoppity here. Oh, that's right, she can't."
Waverly screamed. "Why are you so mean to me? I feel awful and you're not helping."
"Thank you. That's all I needed to hear. Stop being a martyr Waves. It's not helping anyone. I know you love N. You soldiering on, doing her work, when you're not well is not going to make her better. Understand. We need to make this work for everyone."
"Oh Wyn, I'm sorry. It's just I've not felt like this before. Don't know if it's love, or homesickness."
"Waverly, you need to rest. What we do is physically exhausting. Look at papa, look how tired he was before he stopped performing. I can't do this on my own. I need you to be well for me."
Waverly hugged Wynonna. "I love you. And, N."
Nicole stood watching the sisters' interaction, unable to make out what they were saying, each speaking too fast, with too many words for her to be able to understand. Seeing them hug she hoped they had found out what was wrong with Waverly. Her voice made both sisters jump. "She needs to rest."
Wynonna exaggerated a nod, shouting her response. "Yes N, she needs to rest."
"Wyn, stop it," Waverly rebuked. "You are so naughty sometimes."
Wynonna nodded, shouting at Waverly. "Yes, I know. Now, go lay down please for everyone's sake."
Waverly did as she was told leaving Wynonna and Nicole together with the horses. Wynonna looked at Nicole, Nicole looked at Wynonna, neither knowing how to make conversation with the other. Nicole smiled, Wynonna continued to stare, finally finding the words she most wanted to say. "N, you better be worth all this trouble."
"She ain't trouble. I love her."
Wynonna rolled her eyes. "Go rest. I will sort out the horses."
Nicole didn't move. "I needs to sort out the horses. Caspian needs me."
Wynonna threw her hands up in the air. "Fine. Do the horses. I'm going to check on Waverly."
She stormed out, leaving Nicole to fend for herself.
Waverly was laying down, her eyes closed when Wynonna entered. "I know you're not asleep. What's wrong my little chickie?"
"You haven't called me chickie in ages. I like that."
"Tell me. Is it your stomach, or your head, or what?"
"My stomach. It keeps fluttering. And, I feel sick in the morning."
Wynonna stood looking at her sister. "Waverly, when did you last have a you know what?"
"I'm not sure. I'm not like you. Not as clockwork."
"Waves. I'm being serious. When was the last time?"
Waverly sat up. "I've missed one. But, that happens."
Wynonna pulled up a stool. "You might be, you know, if you've missed one. If you are being sick, feeling tired, very emotional. Did Hardy do this?"
"I'm not emotional. And, no. We were standing up."
"No, no, no. Please, please, please, tell me you did not fall for the, you cannot get pregnant standing up trick."
"But, you can't. Can you? He said it was his goodbye present. To remember him. I can't be. Wyn, I can't be. We only did it the once."
"Oh, sweet child. It only takes one time, straight up or flat out."
"But, I'm with N. I can't. Wyn, I can't."
Wynonna reached out for her hands. "It would explain why you've been feeling the way you have."
"How am I going to explain this to N?"
"Slowly and loudly, would be my guess."
Waverly's sobs could be heard by everyone apart from N.
Nicole finished mucking out the horses, her breathing becoming more laboured, her knee aching. Another couple of spoons of Mrs Winslow's magical medicine would see her right. Caspian was fretful, not wanting his N to leave. She patted his side, distracted, until he nudged her for more affection. She laid her head against his neck, remembering the first time they had met, seeing this beautiful creature she was to look after. His wary eyes meeting hers, sensing she was nervous, patiently waiting for her hand to touch him.
It was aunty who had taught her how to be with horses, how to talk to them. Not be scared. Having grown up on a farm in the West Country, south of Bristol, she was used to being around animals, taking Nicole's hand, getting her to introduce herself to Caspian. "He wants to be your friend N. Look, his eyes are following you."
"But, what if he bites me aunty?"
"Caspian don't bite. Do you, my lovely. You be kind to N here. N, hold out your hand, let him see the sugar lump."
Nicole nervously held out her hand, letting Caspian sniff what she was offering. His snort making her drop the lump as she pulled her hand back. "He don't want it aunty."
Aunty laughed. "That's just Caspian playing with you. Pick it up, put your hand out again. Caspian, you be good now. Or, N won't look after you. You hears."
Caspian's ears pricked up. Nicole's hand shaking, aunty holding it for reassurance. Caspian sniffed the lump once more, delicately taking it from Nicole's hand. "It tickles aunty. His tongue."
"I know, my lovely. He likes you. I can tell."
"Can I ride him?"
"Perhaps. In time. You need to become his friend first. He's a funny old fellow this one. Only let's a few love him."
"Like me aunty. Ain't needing no one but you and Caspian."
"Oh, my darling N. There's a whole world out there waiting for you. There's more than us old bones for you to love. Let's go have some tea, shall we. These old bones need a rest. And, a drop of rum."
Nicole hobbled back to aunty's wagon, her knee telling her she needed to rest. She flopped on the bed fully clothed, aunty shouting at her to take her boots off, forgetting her hearing was bad. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was asleep. The effort of tending to the horses too much in her present condition. She didn't hear Wynonna enter. She didn't hear the conversation they had about Waverly's condition. Her world was still dancing to the tune of Mrs Winslow.
She woke early evening, her boots off, aunty preparing something for them to eat before the evening performance. She sat up, remembering not to hit her head again, her body aching, her knee throbbing. "I needs me medicine."
Aunty turned, a look on her face telling N something was wrong. She pulled up the stool, sitting beside the bed, taking Nicole's chin in her hand. "N, Waverly is pregnant."
Nicole attempted to understand aunty's lip movements failing to catch the last word. "Is Waverly alright? Let me go to her. She be sick."
"N, look at me. Waverly is with child."
Nicole processed the words aunty was saying. Had she just mouthed the word 'child,' she wondered. No, she had got that wrong. "Where is Waverly?"
"N. With child." Aunty pointed to her stomach, her hands making a rounded shape.
"A baby?"
Aunty nodded. "I'm sorry N. I really am. Let me get you your medicine."
Nicole sat on the edge of the bed. She had only been asleep for a few hours. How could all this have happened in the space of a few hours? "She needs me. Where are me boots?"
Aunty returned with the cough mixture. "N, she needs to be with the father of her child."
Nicole pushed the spoon away, spilling the cough mixture on the floor. "My boots," Nicole yelled, scaring aunty, who backed away no longer knowing the child before her. "Aunty, please, let me go to her."
"Oh N, go. I can't stop you."
Nicole pushed her feet into her boots, wincing as the pain in her knee jolted through her body. She needed to be with her, needed to hold her in her arms. Too many missed opportunities, too much time wasted. No one, not the father of her child, was going to take Waverly from her now. She hobbled out into the night, knowing what she had to do.