"What is that?" My father asked, eyeing me with barely concealed disgust.
"I think that's suppose to be Rori, hun," My mother responded, her eyes softer, but still openly staring at me.
I had shifted for the first time in front of them. I had begun to panic when they told me this was normal, but once I'd shifted completely they started staring and questioning one another. I whimpered in my wolfish skin.
"That... that is not my daughter. Lupus do not look like that. She's a monster!" My father shouted, a snarl upon his face.
My mother gasped, her eyes welling with fear and tears. "Don't say that!"
"It's true, love. I mean, look at her. We can't keep her... they'll kill her anyways... It's best we go," My father said and he roughly dragged my crying mother away.
I tried to follow, but my paws remained stuck. I began to feel frustrated, my heart raced. I didn't want to be left alone and they were leaving me. They were leaving me alone again! I let out a howl and suddenly everything shifted.
I was no longer the same age. I was little, only five. Tears raced down my cheeks as I stared at my mommy, gushing blood while her eyes turned lifeless. I glanced up into the eyes of the one who had murdered her, he cocked the gun, I flinched assuming I would die. It was almost a relief I could join my mommy and daddy. Instead the murderer pointed it at his head, whispered his apology and shot himself.
Blood sprayed my face and I found myself screaming, aching, hysterical.
Not again...
**
I gasped awake, clutching my throat to keep from screaming out loud and struggled to blink free of the blood that danced in my mind. I had a nightmare for the first time in about a week, this one involving my parents... something that hadn't happened in so long. I didn't know tears were falling until I heard them plunk! onto the comforter. I went to lift my hands to wipe them away when gentle fingertips beat me to it.
"Rori," Roman whispered in the darkness, his eyes finding my own glistening ones. "What's wrong?"
His words were my undoing, a sob escaped my mouth and suddenly tears were trickling down my cheeks. I was pulled softly into Roman's chest and he rocked me gently while I let everything out that the nightmare had caused. Between the nightmare, being studied in Lupus form by Bree and the stress of trying to fit back into the pack I just couldn't remain solid anymore.
Apparently that didn't matter anymore, not to Roman. Instead he held me steady, murmured sweet words and kissed the top of my head. He let me cry until I couldn't cry and when I'd finally hiccupped to a stop, he didn't press what was wrong again. He merely waited for me tell him myself once I was ready.
I sucked in a soft breath and in a hitching tone began to explain my awful nightmare and added that the stress was starting to eat at me. I told Roman that I wasn't too sure things were improving. I had felt they were until the bítches spoke...then I wasn't too sure. I didn't exactly want to give up, but I just didn't know what to do.
"Keep going, Rori. We'll get there. We have to. Who else will help us take down Claire and the Jaecars? Elliere and ourselves can't do it alone," he murmured, squeezing me tightly.
I sniffled, pushing back my ashy blonde hair and straightening myself some in Roman's large T-shirt as my emotions finally leveled out while my mate's words settled in my mind. He was right of course, I needed to keep trying, to keep going. Already some of the pack members were more at ease with me, soon they might all be. Everything took time and I needed to remind myself of that, this wasn't an overnight deal nor a few days deal. It would take awhile.
Finally calmer and more collected, I stood and pulled Roman to his feet. He grunted and mumbled about where we were going until I stepped into the bathroom, stripping off his T-shirt.
"Rori," he growled, his eyes shining bright with desire. "What are you doing?"
"You mean we? We're going to take a shower and then head to the pack house. I think it's time I approached the pack in a different manner," I murmured, flicking on the water.
"Hmmm... alright. Just a shower though?" He asked, his voice sounding whiny.
"Yes, Roman. Just a shower this time."
I could hear his light sigh, but the kiss on my neck told me he didn't mean it. I giggled and slipped under the water.
**
I was clean, but I felt the need to run and go take another shower with how nervous I was to be in the pack house yet again. I was really only nervous because I was going to approach the group who always stood away from me, who didn't try to interact with me. In order for me to be able to move forward with the shifting process, they had to get over the fact I was different and just accept me. I wasn't planning on going anywhere so why not speed up the process some?
The front door opened and I felt my nerves triple. Roman squeezed my hand tightly and I looked up to see his questioning eyes on me. I smiled back weakly and nodded, dragging him in behind me. The atmosphere was still incredibly tense, but rather than sitting and being mild, I remained standing. Cole raced up to me as usual and greeted me with a firm hug before standing back. I didn't understand why since he normally clung to me until two more pairs of arms encircled me firmly and warmly.
I froze at first and inhaled the scents of those who hugged me. I relaxed immediately and melted into their embrace. It was heartwarming to feel someone other than Cole hug me, to have those from the pack accept me enough to greet me with a hug. It boosted my confidence for what I was about to do with the rest of the pack. I grinned as Sarah and Holden released me from their grip, watching as they returned my happy gesture.
"Good to see you again, dear," Sarah said in her wispy voice.
"Good to see you again too," I replied, the smile never fading from my face as I watched them take their usual seat.
I turned from the Elders and peered around at the remaining pack members. They all eyed me cautiously, yet curiously as they watched my eye movement. I glanced back at Yorik and Annalise, deciding to start there. I figured they had to have some acceptance towards me or they wouldn't allow me in their home and stand away from the pack so freely.
Roman shadowed me as I moved to the two leaders. He didn't emit any feelings of nervousness, he was merely being cautious incase the leaders didn't react well. The two became more alert as they noted I was advancing towards them, but didn't look too upset with my approach.
"Yorik, Annalise," I greeted, nodding my head. "How are you?"
They looked at me, blinked and then looked at each other warily. Finally Annalise glanced at me again and her lips tilted up ever so slightly. "We're good. It's... getting easier."
My eyes flickered to Yorik for a confirmation on Annalise's statement that they were, indeed, good and things were getting easier around me. He slowly nodded his head and gave me the barest of smiles. It wasn't like before where he would smile openly, but it was definitely something and caused me to grin back.
"That is wonderful to hear. I'm glad," I said and moved to turn.
"We are glad too, Rori," Yorik murmured. "We know it's not your fault. It's just difficult."
Tears threatened to spill, but I kept my emotions in check. I had to get to the rest the pack too.
"I know. It's difficult for everyone."
I turned fully then and glanced at Roman who was beaming at the sudden progress. I couldn't help, but smile back as I crossed the room to the mob of wary Lupus.
"How are you all?" I asked, my voice even and calm. My emotions kept balanced and in control. I needed to do this. I had to.
Someone shuffled around, there was a shout of protest and then suddenly a little body was wrapped around me, crying. I glanced down, shocked, and found Lilith. The little girl who loved braiding my hair so much and who had been one of the firsts to greet me when I'd gotten here after escaping the Jaecars. My eyes started to mist at the sight of her little form crying and hugging me desperately.
I moved to pick her up into my arms when I loud growl stopped me. My eyes rolled upward and I was met with an angry looking Garrett and Chloe. Warily, I pulled my hands back and slowly stood up. Roman was by my side in an instant, a snarl out of his mouth and his arms pulling me back to him. Lilith ended up following as her grip was so tight on me. I looked around helplessly when suddenly Annalise appeared, her palm resting on Garrett.
"Stop," her voice was a rough order, something neither leaders did often. "She isn't harming Lilith and the little girl wants to see Rori."
Garrett grunted, struggling against the order, but eventually backed down. I looked down once again at Lilith and she glanced up at me with wide, fearful eyes. Her red hair splayed around her wildly and I felt my heart ache for her, but forced a small smile.
"What do you want, sweetie?" I asked softly.
"You. I want you," she said and reached her arms up. I scooped her up then, less fearful of her parents now that they were subdued and hugged her tightly.
"I've missed you Rori," she whispered in my ear.
"I missed you too, Lilith. Soon you can braid my hair whenever you want."
"Whenever?" She murmured, the hope in her voice making me smile.
"Whenever."
She squeezed me tightly and then looked back over at her parents. They appeared worried and confused at Lilith's comfort around me, actually all the other members did as well. Some had even drifted closer like Trevor and Cody. I carefully held out Lilith for her parents to take which they did hurriedly and began checking her over. Finding nothing, they nodded towards me and seemed....satisfied.
I smiled softly and then stepped back from the other members, calling that extremely good progress for the day.