One of the last resorts
Infusions
Every 8 weeks
Sit and wait
Doubtful at first
"There's no way"
Shortly after that
My doubts faded away
For the first time in forever
I felt like I could actually live
I wasn't chained down
By my illness
My heart was happy
My mind at peace
A new job
In a new place
All of a sudden
My symptoms returned
I thought I had won
At least for a couple months
Without a doubt
The pain got worse
I found myself
With the same hurt
After waiting forever
And a dozen more tests
The answer was clear
The same as the past
The hope that I had
The freedom I saw
Gone with the wind
Back to the brawl
Now I have to go
Every 4 weeks
Back to the pills
Pointless
This time they hope for remission
Though my levels never return
So while they wait and hope
I'll sit here and let the world burn
I'm done hoping it'll work out
Hoping I'll finally be free
That's what chronic disease means
I never can be.